title

awareness .. truth .. moment by moment

I’ve been on this journey now … of reclaiming my health since April 1, 2007. Okay – ‘reclaiming’ is not quite accurate… it’s more like ‘truly and PURPOSEFULLY finding my health for the first time in my life’.

I’ve been down the road of 100% raw and loved it. I’ve lost 52 pounds (and perhaps a few more) and gained a few back and released them again. I’ve dabbled in some SAD foods here and there. Survived a few episodes of depression and returned to moments of full blown binge eating – and indulged in way too much alcohol a time or two….

and yet… I’m still on the path.

awareness.
this is a journey. I’ve said that – and believed it for over a year now. And – the longer I am on this journey… the more I understand that simple statement…. this is a journey…. A QUEST of sorts…

QUEST – A VOYAGE TOWARDS A HIGHER GOAL. Quests can be found in the folklore of every nation. The objects of QUESTS require great exertion on the part of the hero, and the overcoming of many obstacles, typically including much travel. (found that definition in Wikipedia).

Okay… so … I’m not just on a journey – I am on a QUEST. Reading about the definition of the word ‘Quest’… it also says that the ‘heros’ normal aim is to obtain something, or someone, and with this object return home. The object can be something new, that fulfills a lack in his life, or something that was stolen away from him.
awareness.

hmmmm… interesting…

truth.
in a way – my health WAS stolen from me .. first by my parents who did not teach me correctly. Then thru my own ignorance, and thirdly by allowing my emotions and cravings to run my life, my appetite and my health.

I did find it interesting that under the definition of the word QUEST… it did say that a QUEST typically requires ‘great exertion’… and overcoming many obstacles.

yep… I dunno about you – but I HAVE and AM experiencing both of these things while on my journey!

Another thing about a Quest is that once the hero finds whatever it is that they have been searching for – they may not want to return back to their original homeland…
and I relate that to me – not wanting to return to my original state of unhappiness, illness, DISease, obesity, chain smoker and alcohol induced fog.
truth.


moment by moment.
I finally understand the power of this moment. If I give 100% in this very moment – nothing more – nothing less… full attention, my full power, all of me – right now – right here… I can do no more than that.

I have spent this entire journey worrying about what I will do tomorrow! Will I be able to be raw tomorrow? What will I eat tomorrow? (and I don’t mean not ‘planning’ meals or a menu so that I can be prepared) but what I do mean is that – even when I am 100% raw and strong and solid in that LIFEstyle – I’m still worried about next month – can I do it again? What about Christmas – what about this - what about that??? Will I – Can I – Am I going to be Vegan – will I be 100% raw? maybe 95% raw?? can I ever eat roasted corn again? Should I ?? Do I?? Will I??

STOP.

moment by moment. BE STRONG right here – right now. Trust in now. That’s all that really matters.

I seriously think that’s one reason why I’ve had ups and downs while on this journey … first of all – cuz I didn’t realize it was actually a QUEST!... and secondly – I was wasting a lot of energy trying to live up to tomorrow and making sure I would be ready to do things right tomorrow. I realize now there was a fear of failure – I was constantly thinking about what I would in a month – or a week or whatever…. While - the very moment I was in was not being allowed to fully BE.
moment by moment.

There is ABSOLUTE POWER in now. If I give 100% of my energy and power to this moment – right here – right NOW… being the best ME that I can be – and if I consistently continue to do this moment by moment – then tomorrow will take care of itself. WhY? because I will still be in the moment – making the best choices ~ wise choices I can for myself … and it all starts – right here… right now.

and so the journey continues…
and the Quest to find ME begins!