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hello there and good evening darlings...

Just had a talk to someone who cleared some point in me I was wondering about for quite a while ...

bordem.

the one I was fighting like hell knows what. it was my worst enemy of all.
I didn't know what to do. and I usually ate something to "do sonething"... well a habbit.
and recentlly Eating back raw 100 % and moving to a new house with a lovely partner who supports me. I can actually deal with things in me that are coming up, all the anoying feelings all the anger the sadness etc... its coming out. and i can at last feel it.
I don't go for those foods Ive been stuffing myself with to overcome this emotions or energy which wants to come out and express itself.
I just deal with it, if that means crying- let it be, if phisical anger- than i do sports, if its shouting- i shout ! hell yea!
I am still very new to these feelings coming up and i get mixed up and anoyed and sensetive and hurted. but it's all matter of getting to know myself. getting to know how to love myself how to treat myself how to take care of myself.
so about that conversation- of bordem.
I realised that many times such E-motions (energy in motion) would come up I called them boredem out of not knowing where to categorise them. and I would try to run away frommyself- get busy with something (tv, food, computer etc..)
Im glad I had that conversation and realised I am actually changing that now, I'm less bored lately. I'm much more interested to find out who is in that shell of mine, who is this preety girl who've been hurted, or who is it inside of me who hates me so much and why..... Its amazing.....

thank you raw cleanup.
thank you Amit my love and angel.
thank you world and nature.
thank you creation.
Thank you me ^_^

with love and freedom,
Masha