Declaration to Me, Myself and I
byon 06-21-2008 at 09:26 AM (312 Views)
As i said this blog is for me if it helps anyone else so be it.
Mind, Body and Soul are what i am working on. After 4 years of being a great relationship with my boyfriend i have discovered his eating habits are not for me. I am at my highest weight ever (229 lbs) This is a very scary place to be. I've always seen patients in the hospital who are an easy 500-600 lbs and wonder how? How do you get there? How do you allow yourself to get to such an unhealthy weight. Sometimes to such a place that you are unable to complete your own hygiene and end up with pressure ulcers. Now i am beginning to understand. Because without any thought i've managed to let myself to balloon to this size. Any while my boyfriend tells me that i am beautiful everyday i don't feel that i am. I want to feel that for myself again. I want to be able to say damn straight! I AM beautiful!
I have found myself more depressed than in years past. I don't know if it's because i feel so sluggish or because of my ever expanding body or maybe it's a combination of the two and i know this isn't me this isn't right and certainly isn't what i want for myself.
I want my soul to be at ease and happy, I want my body to be rocking the kind of rocking that gets the DAAAAMMMMMN coming out of the mouth of men (and not that wow she's skinny response) I want my mind in the right place not so focused on my body and how much i weigh.
Long term goals
Short term goals
- wgt 155 lbs
- exercise daily
- find something that stimulates my mind (not sure what this is yet)
- religion (not the i'm going to church now to sit like a zombie as someone spits out his thoughts and beliefs at me)
- Find a good blender (my food processor was melted)
- Lose 3 lbs this week
- exercise 3 days for 20 mins