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What is my problem?

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3 Comments
by
Hygeia
on 06-18-2008 at 05:24 AM (588 Views)
I have been lurking around here over the last month or so but haven't kept myself as active as I would like, and should.

I have been struggling like you wouldn't believe with going raw this time. I don't understand, it was SOOOOOO easy the last time I went raw. Am I subconciously sabotaging myself? I want it so bad so why it is so hard?

I feel like a huge, fat, ugly, unhealthy piece of garbage lately. I feel like if I don't make this work and get healthy and lose a lot of weight, I'm going to die much sooner in life then I'm suppose to. I don't know how to explain it without sounding so dramatic, but I really feel like I'm getting sicker and sicker and that there is something wrong with me but I don't know what.

I have aches and pains all the time, my insides hurt (if that makes sense), abdominal pains, and I just generally feel like there is something really wrong with me but don't want to know. Yesterday I spent all day holding my side, it hurt all day but today it's gone. I'm just a huge freakin mess.

I feel like curling up and spending the day crying. What is wrong with me? I feel like I'm a mess physically, mentally and emotionally. I don't know what to do.

I guess I'm just having a bad morning and needed to get that out.

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Comments

  1. OneBite@aTime's Avatar
    I think the first thing you need to do is remove words like huge, fat, and ugly from your vocab! It's not okay to speak to anyone like that, including yourself. Now....If you need to spend the day crying...go ahead. Sometimes we need a good cry-get it out-flush the system. Then wake up Thursday morning and begin a new day, a new chapter!
  2. RawKnitster's Avatar
    Been there. And I can tell you what my problem was. I was unable to fix any of those issues until I started telling myself that I was worth it. Squash every negative thought, with a positive one. Not I will, or I'm going to, but, I AM. I AM A BEAUTIFUL PERSON. I AM WORTH IT. You will truly start to believe it. And by the way, you are worth it.
  3. Hygeia's Avatar
    Thank you both of you. As you can tell I had be "poor me" morning wich is not going to change things. I suppose I just needed to get it out and now I'm feeling much better.....between your comments and catching up on the "before and after" section.

    I have received definate motivation today.


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