title
What is my problem?
by
on 06-18-2008 at 05:24 AM (588 Views)
I have been lurking around here over the last month or so but haven't kept myself as active as I would like, and should.
I have been struggling like you wouldn't believe with going raw this time. I don't understand, it was SOOOOOO easy the last time I went raw. Am I subconciously sabotaging myself? I want it so bad so why it is so hard?
I feel like a huge, fat, ugly, unhealthy piece of garbage lately. I feel like if I don't make this work and get healthy and lose a lot of weight, I'm going to die much sooner in life then I'm suppose to. I don't know how to explain it without sounding so dramatic, but I really feel like I'm getting sicker and sicker and that there is something wrong with me but I don't know what.
I have aches and pains all the time, my insides hurt (if that makes sense), abdominal pains, and I just generally feel like there is something really wrong with me but don't want to know. Yesterday I spent all day holding my side, it hurt all day but today it's gone. I'm just a huge freakin mess.
I feel like curling up and spending the day crying. What is wrong with me? I feel like I'm a mess physically, mentally and emotionally. I don't know what to do.
I guess I'm just having a bad morning and needed to get that out.
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