Detox - Heals on all Levels
byon 06-16-2008 at 02:15 AM (661 Views)
This is day 30. Wanted to write something to mark this milestone, something inspirational to begin the next 30 day challenge with. Instead I am going to write about the emotional healing that has happened for me. You may not want to read any further. You may find this sad. I considered making this entry private, but without living food and the support and communication of raw friends on this forum, it may not have happened. If you chose to read to the end I promise it has a happy ending.
Recently dakinimind wrote about the death of Wilbur the bird. My comment was that no one, human or animal, should have to go alone. That brought so many of my emotional issues to the surface. Today I had an epiphany. My comment was wrong.
I have been struggling for the past two years with the guilt that my mother died alone. She had been very ill for a long time, yet she was always so sure she would recover. I had just spent a week with her. When I left it occurred to me that I might not see her again. Five days later my Dad called me, she had taken a turn for the worse. He had left her at the hospital, she was unconscious. The doctor told him she might not wake up again. And he left her there, alone. He couldn't handle it. I have had a very difficult time forgiving him. And I cound not forgive myself for not getting in my car and driving the 7 hours to be with her.
Today, a feeling come over me, like a dark cloud lifting, a feeling of peace, joy, enlightenment. In that instant I knew the truth. When my Mother's spirit left her ravaged body she was not alone. We are never alone. There is always a spirit guiding us, if we let it. She was no longer in pain, no longer confined by time or space, she had no regrets. She did not judge me or my father. I know she is alright. That everything is alright.
Detoxification really does facilitate healing on all levels.