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So I did the “goodbye” routine. Goodbye to Fast Food 1 place and Fast Food 2 place.

Somehow knowing that I will try to eat better or deny myself of any food always trigger this.

Today was better but so unequal. I was busy at work and didn’t eat breakfast or lunch. Had a bite around 4pm. Not raw though but vegetarian. For dinner had a salad and chips.

I’ve been reading different posts/blogs and getting ideas of making different choices. Like 2 meals or 5 smaller meals or eating when my body is hunger (not possible right now, my body/mind lies) etc. Going to continue to read through all the old posts for more suggestions.

My #1 desire is to lose weight.
My #2 desire is to stop gaining weight when I stop working on #1 (hello eating a lot of greasy and/or junk food in one sitting and guilt cycle).
My #3 desire is to stop stomach pains and indigestion and stuff like that
My #4 desire is to stop obsessing about food. What I will eat and when I will eat. To stop using food to make me feel better. Stop the addiction to greasy food and junk food and cooked food. So far I can’t eat a little here and there. I will crave and eat and crave and eat until I stop myself and deny and then back on that merry go round again with one slip.

Yes 100% raw is needed.

I looked up the definition of binge in the dictionary. I don’t binge according to that. So I am going to stop saying that I do. Maybe it’s compulsive eating. Emotional Eater.

I want to stop talking about it at work so much. To talk about how I should not have some cookies or whining about how much greasy food I ate or having yet another stomach ache or that I gained 5 lb in 2 days.

Tomorrow going to the grocery store for food. Don’t plan to go out much this weekend with the gas so high. So that will reduce my exposure to temptations. I need some high raw days to get a hold of myself. Maybe spend the weekend making raw food to have on hand.