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Day Four (May 17)
Weight: 135.6

Coffee nightmare today. I've always known coffee upsets my hormonal balances and causes extreme highs, but I never knew it caused extreme lows as well - - until today. After three full days raw, I gave into the coffee temptation. Right away, I felt very emotional and not in a good way. Within an hour I was on the verge of tears.

Coffee has been a part of the Mollie identity so long (since junior high, actually), and I love the taste so much, that I'm not surprised this was the first non-raw item since my very determined beginning. But I'm actually glad that it happened. Last night I was feeling so good emotionally -- I actually laughed all the way through a movie which I almost never do! -- and against the backdrop of this cleaner me I was able to really see the difference that the caffeine made. Huge! ... I am now more determined than before to give up caffeine for good.

However, my enthusiasm for raw itself is waning already. I love the food, and I love all the eating all day long!!... But I am very hungry. It seems that no matter how much fruit I eat, I'm never really full, certainly not for very long. I will persevere through this, though, as I realize that I have always had a problem with abnormal hunger (whether physical or psychological or both remains a mystery, however), and this is something that I really want to overcome in my quest for perfect health!!!

Some fatigue today and yesterday... Hoping for a change soon... Also, I'm very bloated, which I greatly dislike (another thing I'm hoping will change eventually as I become regular). No BM yet today and only one yesterday - - feeling a little backed up, but I'm not too worried about that. This does affect the scale, however, as does the bloating, which is partly why I may do a low-carb version of raw for a few days. Not only does low-carbing reduce bloating (by a lot!) and keep me much more full, it helps greatly reduce the number on the scale. The only thing hindering that plan is that raw nuts are so expensive and I'd be eating a lot! But what's a few extra dollars when my health is on the line?? I will wait to implement that plan for a few days, however, while I enjoy the initial cleansing process without anything heavy on my stomach AND see whether I will be able to lose weight with all this fruit or not. (My metabolism is slower than normal due to recent fasting and low-carb diets.)

I am very curious as to what the next few days will bring...

Thanks for reading.

P.S. Long-term 90% raw is still the most likely to satisfy me in the future, as adding nuts and dried fruit to my menu will take care of the need for fullness.