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The last few weeks have been kind of crazy.

I basically had a brief anorexia relapse. I don't know what to do with myself, its like most of my brain is telling me I need to eat and fill myself up with a load of good stuff, but there's always a part of my brain that looks in the mirror and sees nothing but fat, even though most of my brain knows I am at a low weight, and envies stick thin people although they are unhealthy, and hates food even though I know I need it.

...

Its probably the cold weather, but I find myself wanting to eat cooked, which I never have since going raw.

Here's the worst part - I cave to it! I stay vegan, sugar free and whatnot but recently bread has really got me down!

I had my apple-walnut stuff for breakfast which was surprisingly yum, and raw soup all day, then when I got home there was nothing in the fridge (I know, bad excuse) and I couldn't manage a salad, so I had.... baked beans on toast!!
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In my new organised fashion I'll post tomorrows meal plan:
Still hardly anything in the fridge but hopefully mum will go shopping while I'm at school so there'll be stuff when I get back from school.

Breakfast: right, no fruit except apples, kiwis and oranges. And I'm allergic to kiwis and oranges. So I can't make a green smoothie I think I'll shove some apple in the dehydrator tonight and create some kind of apple-walnut mush. Sounds, erm, appealing. I will probably have ...

Bust-up with my boyfriend, ended up doing the whole emotional eating thing and eating some bread and cooked eggplant Wholemeal bread, at least.

I need to get more organised. So I'll start posting my meal plans to keep on track.

Tomorrow - seeing as I have hardly anything in my fridge, this will have to do:

Breakfast: green smoothie - banana and spinach.
Sipping through the day - green energy soup: avocado, spinach, leeks, adzuki sprouts and ...

I ended up water fasting on Tuesday and Wednesday, just didn't feel like eating. Then on Thursday I woke up in the night with a terrible migraine and knew I had to eat something to get better, despite not having an appetite. So I made myself a green smoothie and sipped bits throughout the day.

Still felt horrible this morning so ate a bit more, had some blueberries and pomegranate that my mum bought for me in the morning, then a big salad with loads of greens for lunch and some soup ...