I feel like giving up for good!

[findingme]

I am so upset! I try and try and try to be 100% raw but I cannot make it through the 30 day challenge! I've done it once before in September but then went right back to SAD on day 31. I feel like I let myself down everytime I fail. I'm so upset and depressed over my weight and health problems. I feel like raw is the only way to cure them, but I can't get over the emotional issues that lead me to binge on raw. I am so frustrated and angry at myself. I feel like giving up because I can't even begin to think how many times I've started and re-started the raw challenge....it's so defeating and I'm worn out!

Sorry to rant but I just don't know what to do or where to turn. I feel hopeless...

[Helen Of Tennessee]

Hi Karen,

Going 100% Raw doesn't work for everyone. Maybe you might want to consider transitioning. You will still reap benefits by feeling better and seeing results and not feel guilty when you do eat some cooked foods.

Even if it takes you 6 months or a year to transition, 5 years from now when you're 100% raw, it won't matter if you did it over night or if you did it over a year period to get there. It matters that you finally made it. (now if you have a life threatening disease, then you may want to consider 100% overnight!!!).

You can transition anyway you want.

All raw until lunch time. Do this for months until it's natural. Then stretch the time.

Or you can start cutting out certain food groups, like dairy and once it's out for good, then start cutting out sugar or meat, etc.

Just find something you can deal with and can gradually get to your goal of 100% raw. Who knows after a month or two with some changes, you'll be ready to dive in with 100% :D

[monkeyboy]

Hi Everyone,

Raw is a lifestyle.

One meal at a time.

Don't worry about what day it is.

Day 1, day 18, day 26......who cares.

It's ok to set goals, but your goal should be daily goals at this stage.

Wow, I just used goal 3 times in a sentence.

The emotional issues you speak of are interesting.

It's time to clear the air and talk to a therapist or Oprah.



Peace,

M.B.

[sweepea32]

You are having a difficult time being 100% raw.
Can you imagine how many people deal with this? How many people who don't even try?
You are NOT alone.
People cannot stay on Weight Wathers-think about that for a moment.
You are allowed to eat everything on WW and people fail and try again and again and again.
I think Helen gave some great advice which I think I am going to heed myself.
Transitioning is NOT a bad idea at all-it is more realistic for some of us.
Some people do not rely on food to fill voids as others do-so you are NOT a quitter-you are just having a hard time. All we can do is keep trying and love ourselves for doing that.

love
Mary

[Raw Jewelrylady]

findingme...I think Helen Of Tennesee has some really great advise...along w/Monkeyboy & Sweepea.

I have had some struggles w/raw...but I always remember this is a Marathon ..not a sprint & I am changing the way I usually ate for a really long time. It's not something you can always do overnight...at least for some of us.

Another thing, if you ate 2 meals out of 3 Raw...you will be doing better than the majority of the poplulation. I think it's how you look at things...at least for me.

Here is a great thread that may help you. One thing for sure...keep w/the the group...These are the greatest people...... :)

http://www.rawfoodtalk.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10554

My best to you...
Lana

[misslinda]

findingme,

i'm sorry you are feeling so low right now............

what led you to raw? what emotional issues keep you bingeing? what's going on?


maybe it's time to tackle the inner demon and take a few steps back and let us help you walk forward again............

:(

[karenisraw]

findingme,

One thing, are you getting enough plant fats? Try coconut oil, or avocado. That may be one reason for your binging.

Also, my raw vegan doctor lectured on this the other week, and he said not to beat yourself up if you do eat cooked once in a while. He said 100% is the "optimal" but not a requirement. He said to not avoid social situations and people you like and care about just because they are having cooked. It is better to eat cooked once in a while rather than ditch the whole raw life altogether.

I think you may be binging because you may not have everything that you need in your body raw. Like enough fats or something.

Keep trying if you want. I want you to for your health but it is your own decision how much you want to do.

k
:) :)

[vegggeeemom]

Monkeyboy did have some very valid points there.

I also agree w/ Lana and how it's a marathon and not a sprint. Oh, TimmyC always says that if you're running a marathon and you fall, do you have to go back to the starting line and begin again, or brush yourself off and continue on until you hit the finish line?

For some runners they aren't going to get there as quickly as some others. It's not the point. The point is that you make it to the finish line.

That's what this board is here for. To cheer you on to the finish line. You can do this. You can do it ONE DAY AT A TIME.

Don't beat yourself up for not being raw for xxxx amount of days. You were raw for 30 days! Congratulations to you for that! What an accomplishment!

Please reconsider giving raw another chance. Don't just walk away before giving the boards, Alissa's books, DVD's and support from everyone here another try!

Good luck!

Pam

[findingme]

Thank you for all of your supportive posts. It really does literally bring me to tears when I think of all the kindness that emanates from this forum.

I 've been having a hard go at all of this and I think I've basically realized that a lot of my addiction to and binging on cooked food stems from my sense of "control " in my life. What I mean by that is that lately I've felt this overall sense of being "out of control" in my life, with all aspects of it. I feel that not only do I freely give my power away to others, but I feel guilty when I want to have that control back to do what is in my heart. Eating seems to be the only place in my life that I can do what I want (eat what I want) and not have to explain it (because I binge mostly in private without anyone knowing). So I think that by putting myself on a 100% raw food lifestyle, I felt like I lost that feeling and felt like I was giving my control away yet again. Anyways not sure if this makes sense to anyone else as I'm just piecing this together as I write. Raw food brings you to the core of who you are and exposes the things in your life that aren't working...the things that are SAD about your life, the emotional and mental processed crap. As many of you have said before, raw does more than change your diet it changes your whole outlook. I guess what this comes down to for me is that I need to reassume control of the other areas in my life and not give my control away and deal with the pain of it through binging on SAD food.
I believe that my depression and frustration with adopting this lifestyle is due to these other areas of my life, not with being raw. I believe it will happen for me...all my dreams, all my repressed urges to be who I am...I've just been numbed to it all for so long that being raw reminds me of my path in life. It's just so scary sometimes that I can unknowingly sabotage myself. I'm OK, I now know the truth and as Alissa says you can't ignore it now that you know what it is.

Thanks for helping me discover this about myself. It's the process that is the most meaningful not necessarily the end result because there probably isn't a finish line after all. I am learning to be a little kinder to myself and for that I am most thankful.

Continuing on my journey,

[misslinda]

It's the process that is the most meaningful not necessarily the end result because there probably isn't a finish line after all. I am learning to be a little kinder to myself and for that I am most thankful.

Continuing on my journey,

WOW, you are quite the TROOPER! these are powerful words..........i had similar thougths in my journal about the whole control thingy. I'm glad you are learning to love you and care for you! This is great to hear...........your SN really speaks for itself :) ;)


in awe of you,
ml

[sachis2112]

Hi, sweetie. Don't lose hope, just like all these lovely people are telling you. I have yet to complete a 30 day. I had a raw friend close by and she helped me through so much of it. She's moved to the other side of the continent and I haven't managed to get back to even 90% since she moved. I have a supportive husband but it's never that simple.

I'm addicted to sugar in a huge way and I make relatively sane choices most of the time when I make the decision to eat cooked but I still have this sugar problem. I recently have fallen back into eating icecream. Ouch!

But I don't beat myself up about it. I know that tomorrow is a new day and, if I start the day out right, well, at least I've done one beautiful thing for myself. And if I fall in the afternoon, then at least I have the morning to start fresh.

[shakti17]

I have been wanting to live 100% raw for 10 years! seriously, i even lived at "raw camp", as my friends call it, for a while, and i have been 100% only about 3 weeks in a row max!

everyone is on their own path. someday your challenges will help you to help others!

the only mixed diet i have found that works for me is raw all day and then a cooked dinner, or all raw until 5 pm. that worked for me because if you want something cooked, you can usually put it off until dinner time, and then you go to sleep anyway, so there may not be time for binges! (for me that helped with binging - i have done that too - on cooked tho)

raw camp made me so psychotic and eating disordered. i thought i was "bad" if i ate anything cooked! i am so relieved to be over that way of thinking.

you are perfect and awesome! i like what monkey boy said too - about there only being one day. if a 30 day challenge will stress you out, then why do it? raw is to be happy! be happy! that is the main thing.

shakti :)

[sachis2112]

Ooo... I also wanted to reinforce that raw is not just a diet. It's a way of thinking and living. Although I'm still eating lots that's bad for me, I think differently about food and what I consider food. It's helpful to starting thinking of things like pre-packaged stuff (TV dinners and bake stuff in a box) as non-food. Even though we've cooked in our home recently, I don't think we'll ever have convenience-foods again now that I know what I know.

Chin up. If you're eating ANY fresh veggies or fruits, you're already better off than about 90% of the US population. Keep at it.

[tammy85]

Hello...I am new to this thread but I could not help but reply to your post because I know what you feel. I have not completed a whole day yet....BUT each day I am making progress to eating cleaner and for what I can live with. I was beating myself up so bad.....I would do good for two weeks and then WAM I could not get back on track. But I was trying to live by the rules someone else wrote down in a book or web site. The best advise I have read so far has been to do what I feel is best for my body not a certain percentage we cannot live in a bubble so going 100% RAW all the time is not always possible but you can make the best of the choices you have available. I'm not saying go out a eat that cheeseburger and fries but if you cannot eat raw eat the best thing for you. I would go to bed thinking about food and wake up thinking about it and I don't think it has to be that consuming. I read a great book called "REAl FOOD REAL WORLD" and it helped me alot and now I have found this site and it is great to talk to others who are going through the same thing. Just keep on going but don't beat yourself up. Food should be enjoyed not feared or cause such agony. Take baby steps. You are in control not the food or the % total. Good luck! Tammy

[jennifuh]

Findingme, last night I went to the DARK SIDE and drove through McDonalds out of desperation for my son. He was screaming "I'm hungry!"and we had a 2 hour drive ahead of us. Felt so guilty feeding him that crap. ANd then I ORDERED AN ORDER OF FRIES FOR MYSELF!!!

feel terrible today. seems every time i try to commit to Raw, I end up eating more cooked than ever! AM I sabotaging? Stressing myself out?

Awhile back someone told me, just take it one meal at a time..(think it was Pansy..) very helpful...trying to take her advise!

Keep trying! I will too! :p

[shakti17]

just carry a bottle of good enzymes, and if you want some fries, enjoy them! enzymes make it all good!

[greeninlosangeles]

Green smoothies, marinated greens, dehydrated kale chips, whaetgrassand other green drinks- or any other way you can put deep color greens in you system. Without thse i could hardly make it three weeks raw. Second time I eat tons of these and I am 2.5 months raw without a slip up! And now cooked things don't look to me edible!

[sachis2112]

just carry a bottle of good enzymes, and if you want some fries, enjoy them! enzymes make it all good!
LOL I know exactly what you mean although I might have phrased it a little differently.

This diet is not about deprivation. If you are feeling deprived of something, like have a hankering for a piece of chocolate and it's been bugging you for days, you might actually be doing yourself more damage by stressing yourself out over it. One little slip will not damage you much. After all, you are trying to undo a lifetime's harm. It won't happen over night.

A huge part of this is mental. I was able to help my attitude about raw shift to nothing but positive when I started creating raw desserts and keeping sweet fruits in the house. I felt like I was having nothing but dessert for breakfast, lunch and dinner but I had none of the guilt!

This helped me stop feeling deprived and start feeling blessed that I could eat such scrumptious food and not have to feel guilty.

[shakti17]

yes, i wrote that because i feel like once it's done, it's done, so why stress out about it?

of course, it is better to not eat cooked at all, if one has made that decision.

i think the addictiveness varies for each person. i know i have a very addictive personality. i know that if i eat one chocolate, it never stops there - i will have a whole cooked day, not even want to look at my yummy salad stuff. even if i have a healthy cooked meal - such as brown rice and veggies - it never ever ever has ended there - it usually ends 2 weeks later with a lot of pizza. over time i have learned not to beat myself up when this happens, but i do not think this yo-yo diet is healthy at all. i am still trying to find a balance, but the only diet that seems to work for me is raw. unfortunately, after a few weeks i tend to yo-yo. this has been going on for years. i honestly think even a macro or more balanced diet would be better than yo-yo, but like i said, any cooked i eat eventually leads to junk food.

so my advice to anyone struggling with this, is to think it through before you take the first bite of cooked food. usually it will NOT just end at that one morsel, so be honest and follow it through and then decide if you still want the fries or chocolate or whatever.

most important is to be happy! mind food is the best :D