Live with someone who isn't raw?

[FLuwrchLd]

Does anyone live with someone who isn't raw? Do you find it difficult? :cool:

[lil fairy z girl]

hi, i havent been raw long just about 2 weeks but my hubby isnt raw. The first week we had seperate meals, him cooked and me raw, but that was fine for me as it is so fast to make raw food so i didnt find it a burden. Its strange as before raw i never cooked as i had no interest in food so he did all the meals :) now i am so enthusiastic about food its wierd!
This week i have been making enough raw for both of us and adding more raw to his diet. Infact he has been asking me about raw food and thinks it is sensible. today he joined me in eating raw although i did add some bread on his plate too! I have tried to allow him to eat what he wishes but also gently added more raw food to his diet. He did say today that he likes raw but could never be like me, but I live in hope. When i married him he was a meat eater but he became vegan :)
i hope things go well for you too. sorry if i have spoke too much.

best wishes
sal

[kiwilime]

My fiance and I recently bought a place together. He heard me talk and try raw on and off during the time we were dating. When we first moved in together I was not eating raw. When I recently started eating raw again...it took him a while to adjust to it. I think he was dissapointed that we could not cook together, or maybe he thought I would change how he ate. But I left him alone, let him eat what he wanted while I ate my raw meals. Most of the time on weekdays I get home much later than him so we eat separately.
I thought it would be really hard for me since he is a meat eater. BUt I notice as long as I don't change how he eats, or talk about him being raw.....he is ok with leaving me alone. Sometimes it does get hard, like last weekend when he said "hey lets rent some movies and get chips and chocolate"...and I said "oh, we can get it for you...but I want to stay raw tonight". Stuff like that happens alot...but I think it is more important for me to take care of myself and not feel bad not eating cooked meals with him. Besides I make up for it by still grocery shopping for his favorite foods, and picking up cooked meals for him, and his favorite soda drinks. And he brings me strawberries and bananas and stops by the farmers market for me the Friday nights that I have to work. :)

[FLuwrchLd]

Thanks so much for the info. I have no problems with what he eats, I know he wants to lose weight but I know him and if I ever tried to tell him what to eat and what not to eat he wouldn't be a happy camper. I am not the type of person that would do that anyways, but it's good to know there are others out there. But I know thru time and patience he will open himself up to eating more veggies and fruit than SAD foods.

[toni]

I am the only one in a family of 5 that is raw. My husband is very supportive, though, and he prepares me raw dishes and makes me juice sometimes. At first he thought I was developing some weird kind of eating disorder! My kids are eating more raw all the time and so is my husband. I cook for my family, and that was difficult for me at first, but it has gotten a lot easier. I have one "combatant" in the house and that's my mother. She just wants everything to be like the "old days" when we just sat around eating junk and whatever. I've used her as an excuse to not stay raw for over a year now, but that's over. I finally decided that if she has a problem with it then that's her problem, not mine. I'm providing her with the food she prefers, so what's the problem?

I read a quote from someone on a raw site (I can't remember), but I liked it. It said, "I'm smart enough to cook the food, but I'm not dumb enough to eat it".

I though that was good. I cook for my family, although healthier than before, and sometimes they prepare food for me. It works out.

[Rawmney]

Hi, I've been going raw for a couple of months and am letting my husband participate mostly at his own pace. I find it's better not even to offer him stuff, just eat things that look good and wait for him to ask. He's naturally a healthy eater and inclined toward fruit and veg, but averse to nuts and any of the mock things.

It helps me to try for meals with a common element, so I'm not doing double duty. I can make the pad thai sauce or marinara and he has real noodles while I have raw for example. I need to work on more of those so as not to feel like the kitchen slave! Sometimes I make him some of his favorites that he really likes even if they're totally different. He's also getting some benefit as I show an interest in kale and broccoli, foods I've always hated.

Good luck and thanks for launching this thread. I'm interested in the topic, especially re: ideas on recipes that "go both ways."

Best,
Rawmney

[levamssg]

I've been raw for quite a while, and my husband is SAD, but the joke in our house is "I'm getting him one meal at a time". He is quite supportive, and many times will eat some of my raw food with me. I don't cook anything -- before I went raw, we cooked our own meals so raw hasn't changed that. I don't push my food on him, but offer it and he takes it from there.

As stated in other posts, sometimes it gets hard, like going to the movies and not sharing a giant butter laden popcorn, but it is doable. I bring my spiced nuts or kale chips,he chows down the popcorn, and we are fine.

After a medical checkup this past week, my husband has expressed an interest in eating more raw ... Yippee!!!! (I'll get him yet!! ... one meal at a time)

[greeninlosangeles]

kale chips! - I am looking for the recipe like crazy since i tried them at Juliano's Raw Restaurant. Please, please give me the recipe!
I am raw for 2.5 months now and it is not as hard as I expected. now my husband always shares my salad at dinner, but otherwise he is SAD. The hardest thing for me is to cook meat now, because after eading Diet for the New America, I realize very clearly, it is a dead animal and it sadens and disgusts me. I think my husband feels it, and now I cook less than before.

[jenna rose]

My brother and my father are both SAD eaters. When I went vegan, they started eating the BOCA burgers and such that I bought for myself. THey still buy those now. THey've tried some of my food but aren't really into it.

And it does make it hard to stay 100% raw. I get tempted by all the cooked in the house. It's like 90% cooked and 10% raw stuff in the kitchen.

[Smoothie]

I've only been so called 100% raw for 4 days, but I was a vegan and partly raw and my husband eats meat. It actually works out well. He's very supportive of me but he doesn't want to give up his meat & cheese. So I don't bug him anymore and he doesn't bug me. I'm concerned for his health, but hey, you can't beat someone over the head.

So what we do is fix our own food. Sometimes, we'll share some of the stuff I'm eating but he always has to have his meat. Like tonight, I was making the "big salad" and he was making chicken wings. I really don't like meat at all. I was a vegan for health, animal rights and envirmental reasons. I wish he shared my passion, but he doesn't.

Oh well.............we've worked it out well. It's not an issue at all. He's use to what he calls my wierd eating routines. But when I hear him tell other people what I do, he's very proud of me...:)

[RawTruth]

No, thank goodness, I don't.

I was vegetarian for over 20 years before going raw and was always upfront about there being no animal flesh prepared in my kitchen. Anyone who was interested in becoming involved with me knew this from the beginning. Of course, my kids were trapped :D

I really feel for you that are in this situation ... and ... I admire you who are just "minding your own business" while eating raw and not trying to change your loved ones.

[Smoothie]

LOL.................Believe me, if I could change him I would. I've just given up.

I think his eating pattern is selfish and I've told him so. I'm the one that will have to pick up the pieces of his future poor health and it worries me greatly. That's the part that none of our SAD loved one really get; the impact it will have on their future and ours. But, they have to want to get on that road. My hubby hasn't even picked up the map!!!

[rawpriestess]

I am raw, and I was raw when my lover and I met 4 years ago, I was struggling raw, so it was an on and off, on and off process for me.

He was the most supportive person in the world.

I had a stove that didn't work, a microwave that didn't work, and an oven that didn't work, oh yes, a dishwasher that I had never used.

I didn't care that none of these things, worked, all I used was a knife an a Vita Mix.

He repaired or replaced all the applicances so I could use them if I wanted.

I still don't use them, but after he bagan to understand what my lifestyle was, he realized that we were very compatable.

He just ate meat and things, so he moved an entire kitchen out to he garage, and he does all of his food prep/cooking etc either in the garage if it's freezing or pouring down rain, or out on the deck on the grill, or in our fire pit on the grill.

that is if he wants something cooked, otherwise he just eats what I eat, which is raw, he actually helps me prepare most of the raw food, unless I am busy with an art or writing project, then he does all of the food prep.

he is an accomplish raw gourmet chef now.

He still eats meat about once a week or so, and he did have eggs today, which is a first for months without eggs.

But that is fine, he eats what he eats, and I eat what I eat.

The ONE thing I love so very much about him, is he never ever does anything to try to make me feel guilty about eating cooked or raw, about spending lots of money or not, about having organic or not, or about eating out or not.

Everything I do is fine with him, and this makes everything he does fine with me.

I am blessed.

[Light of an Angel]

Great topic! I have only been raw for a week but it is going really well in the kitchen between my husband and I..I guess I am lucky as well because he is so laid back when it comes to meals...he is a vegetarian and when he wants something cooked he just makes it...and I make raw stuff which he has as well...so its all good...I think he likes it better that I am raw now because I am much more relaxed and happy...before I would do most of cooking and I would get upset if I got home and there was nothing cooked...now I just get some raw stuff ready in minutes and I am never upset that there is nothing cooked to eat! :)

[Debrah]

The "live and let live" approach has been working for me, for the most part. When I met my partner, we were both SAD eaters. I became a vegetarian years ago, and have recently become interested in raw. He continues to eat SAD, although he does not turn up his nose at vegetarian food.

It would be manipulative and counterproductive of me to try to "convert" him. Think about it--how do you feel when others try to persuade or guilt you into eating SAD food? (They may be just as convinced as we are that theirs is the healthy or "right" way to eat.)

The worst for me is that I am still tempted by some of the junk food he buys. Thank goodness he doesn't have a sweet tooth!

[Sillybloss]

My husband and his large extended family are all dedicated SAD eaters. My son in a SAD eater and my daughter is a vegetarian (which I teasingly call a bread and cheesian). She has decided to try raw, but is struggling with life's limitations on a child. I have always been the cook in the family...my husband can BBQ on an occasional week-end. So I prepare a full meal for my family (meat and all) and I eat my raw dish (mostly simple, as there's just not enough time in the day to do too much food prep!). My husband has no desire for my son to stop eating meat because he believes the protein propaganda about needing it to be strong and athletic.

I follow this diet to resurrect my health, so it's not too hard for me to be around SAD eaters constantly. I'm terrified of the alternative if I don't eat raw. I just make sure I always have some treat of some kind (raw) to fall back on when things get rough.

[Broken]

When we married, I was a McDougall-style vegan, and he ate with me. I knew he ate fast food, etc., on his own, but he liked the fact that I was interested in health, environment, etc. After we married, he wasn't so interested in my cooking! For the past couple of years, he's made his food, and I make mine. We try to eat together, although we're often off in our hunger schedule. I used to have a lot of angst over his choices, but something I have learned is that I can not change him, and to be honest I really don't want to. He's an amazing human being; I wouldn't have married him otherwise. He's the only man I've ever met who has no interest in changing me; he just accepts me as I am. He's interested in environmental issues, and I think that's an interesting "disconnect"; eating fast food, yet interested in the environment. But we all have our inconsistencies, and I think that part of the life journey is recognizing them on our own, and deciding what changes we want to make. Far be it from me to point it out. :) He might start pointing out mine, and then where will we be?

[JinxieKat]

I've just started this week and I just told hubby, who is very much a meat and potatos type of guy, what I was doing. He just shruged and said, 'If it works for you go for it.'. But then he's pretty laid back about most things anyway. I'm lucky that he will try anything once, and I did get him to try my papaya banana pudding this morning. He sounded surpised when he said it wasn't bad *lol* He will eat cooked vegie dishes and loves boca burgers. As far as he is concerned as long as it tastes good he will eat it. I'm going to be cooking for him once or twice a week to get a pile of good meals for him, and then do my thing. I've always done all the cooking so I cannot see telling him he's on his own just cause I want different food. We eat together, so if I start making stuff that he thinks looks good he'll try it. I wouldn't be surprised if he ends up moving his diet to 50% raw simply because he follows what I do an extent. When I do weight watchers faithfully he looses weight too cause he eats what I eat. It's kinda funny and is going to make this so much easier in the long run!

Jinx

[RawTruth]

When we married, I was a McDougall-style vegan, and he ate with me. I knew he ate fast food, etc., on his own, but he liked the fact that I was interested in health, environment, etc. After we married, he wasn't so interested in my cooking! For the past couple of years, he's made his food, and I make mine. We try to eat together, although we're often off in our hunger schedule. I used to have a lot of angst over his choices, but something I have learned is that I can not change him, and to be honest I really don't want to. He's an amazing human being; I wouldn't have married him otherwise. He's the only man I've ever met who has no interest in changing me; he just accepts me as I am. He's interested in environmental issues, and I think that's an interesting "disconnect"; eating fast food, yet interested in the environment. But we all have our inconsistencies, and I think that part of the life journey is recognizing them on our own, and deciding what changes we want to make. Far be it from me to point it out. :) He might start pointing out mine, and then where will we be?Excellent way to be. Would that we all were as smart.

[chiefchewy]

LOL.................Believe me, if I could change him I would. I've just given up.

I think his eating pattern is selfish and I've told him so. I'm the one that will have to pick up the pieces of his future poor health and it worries me greatly. That's the part that none of our SAD loved one really get; the impact it will have on their future and ours. But, they have to want to get on that road. My hubby hasn't even picked up the map!!!

This is my biggest struggle. My dh is 17 yrs younger then me and i am in better health then he is already. he is overweight and has very unhealthy parents.... sometimes i get angry at him because he does not even care about his health. he says he does, but evidently not enough to do anything about it. So on most days I eat what i eat, i mostly make him vege dishes(90% of the time raw) and ocassionally chicken or fish... because he eats lunch out frequently and i figure he can eat all his junk while i am not around. I refuse to help him eat poorly. Sometimes I just tell him you can have what i am having or get something for yourself-since i have very few things in the house I won't eat, it pretty much forces him to take what i am eating!
I know it sounds a bit harsh, but watching him eat himself to death is harsh on me.

[theresaann]

chief chewy-that's where I am too. My partner is absolutely not interested in being responsible for his health in any way, shape or form. It's very challenging. He SAYS he is too, but doesn't do anything about it. It's really only if someone does it for him. He will barely even make his own toast. Before we met, he existed on restaurant food. After living together, he can not cook and will not learn even the most basics, healthy or not. He won't even try to use the juicing machine. he'd rather not eat at all than take care of himself in anyway. That means that I have to do all the food prep for him (if I want him to eat), and my two kids, who refuse to try most raw foods, but they will have smoothies (even green ones!), sometimes salads, and sometimes the desserts. My partner is interested in ME doing raw, cause he wants me to be "thin and pretty", but even that is useless because I am not attracted to him at all, because he's just so unhealthy (smoking, eating crap or not eating, absolutely no exercise, no initiative, etc). So. it's discouraging sometimes. Just to have someone who would be willing to even just make their own meals would be awesome. He wont' help me with the kids food, unless it's to go to a restaurant, and that's not healthy for them. dont' say "just have a talk with him". I've been trying that for 4 years-it aint happenin'.

I am not saying it's impossible. I think it is, I just have to be willing to not feel responsible for him. Here's the thing. I can "cook" for my kids, making foods as healthy as possible and gradually moving them towards raw, and he can eat what I make for them, or cook for himself. Wow, I guess I'm processing all this on this thread! ha! thanks for indulging me.

I'll work it out. It's just frustrating. I feel like I just don't have a partner in so many ways, not just with food-it's the whole lifestyle of being accountable for one's own health. I can't do it for him and I watch him being completely uninterested in managing himself. His dad just died from parkinson's complications and he already has some symptoms. I told him he's getting huge warning signs and at 51 he's still got enough time to turn his destiny around, but he isn't willing to. maybe this sounds harsh, but I'M not willing to take care of someone who WILLFULLY trashed their health, waiting for others to take care of him and manage him, when he KNEW what was coming. That's what his dad did, but I'm just not gonna do it.

ok, sorry I'm ranting. But thanks for listening.

[chiefchewy]

[QUOTE=theresaann]that's where I am too. My partner is absolutely not interested in being responsible for his health in any way, shape or form. It's very challenging.
Challenging is the word...but i guess i wouldn't be so upset if i did not love him so!