ren
11-20-2005, 09:04 AM
As of today, I've been 'around the sun' thirty two times. A lot has happened to me between the thirtieth time and this time. I went through a very traumatic breakup with a man who I found was married and was just playing me for sex with a young girl ( I was a virgin no less!) :eek: It was amazing but I'm still trying to figure out how I gained forty pounds in one year :eek: :eek: I also was addicted to the internet, spending fourteen hours a day some weeks. I can laugh about it now but back then it was sad.
I am not sure when I began to have a renewed interest in my health. I guess when I resigned myself to the fact that I'd never get married, guys won't ask me out so I'll just devote my time to myself. It sounds negative but it wasn't. I just stopped looking and getting desperate trying to desperately seek approval from people. I think that stemmed from a lot of school bullying and sex abuse I experienced as a child. Anyway, I began to read a lot of health books because I worked in a health food store. I rode a little red honda scooter to work and rode a bicycle. I don't know how I came across raw foods BUT I do tell people that Storm and Jinjee Talifero are my gurus since they're the first raw foodist work I read. I was hooked but I would not actualise the raw/lifefood lifestyle till much later.
I began to talk this cool guy on a political forum we both post on together. He PMed me after I said I would not dance at my own wedding because I'm too shy :p Fast forward and it's July and the same net dude is putting his mother's engagement ring on my finger. I would have never imagined I'd be getting married at ALL. I knew when I first saw him that we'd be getting married. Our first date was incredibly awkward but the second one was amazing. He's much taller than me and bigger than me, like a footballl linebacker. In fact, we went shopping together at my job one of my supervisors asked if he plays football :D God sent this man to me. He is my soul mate. I really do believe that there is such a thing because it happened to me. He saw things in myself that I could not see. He's a total azz man and I can't turn my back to him because he's always grabbing my butt :D
My acne began to clear up. I guess because I had a lot of stress pent up and I do tell him that he's had a very health effect on me. September 2005 my aunt came in from California to go to the big West Indian Day parade in Brooklyn and brought my counsin's wedding dress with her. It was designed in Paris,France and is worth $3000 and NEVER USED. The thing is my counsin is like a total size four/six and at the time I was a fourteen/sixteen. Now I'm a size twelve. I joined a gym and began working out.
My sister and I went to the city to celebrate my day. We went to Jubb's Longevity and had chai tea and almond milk. She bought me a book, a roll of ph papers (I learned I'm slightly acid) and pure coconut soap which my skin LOVES. I bought myself a Tae Bo bootcamp abs DVD and a ipod case. I have to say that Billy Blanks is the only person I can watch on DVD otherwise it's a waste of money for me. Go figure. I also had my first raw food coaching session and have not gained back the weight I lost from my two and a half day fast.
The whole point of this long post was to say that right now I have an overwhelming love for myself (even with PMS :p ). It is a true spiritual awakening as I find myself wanting to go to church, chant and pray the rosary also. I also read the psalms and want to practice yoga more. I tell my fiance that I picture my authentic self at the center of a thousand petal lotus and this is just the beginning unfolding. This is the best gift I've ever received that is a true awareness of my own goodness.
Have a blessed day.
I am not sure when I began to have a renewed interest in my health. I guess when I resigned myself to the fact that I'd never get married, guys won't ask me out so I'll just devote my time to myself. It sounds negative but it wasn't. I just stopped looking and getting desperate trying to desperately seek approval from people. I think that stemmed from a lot of school bullying and sex abuse I experienced as a child. Anyway, I began to read a lot of health books because I worked in a health food store. I rode a little red honda scooter to work and rode a bicycle. I don't know how I came across raw foods BUT I do tell people that Storm and Jinjee Talifero are my gurus since they're the first raw foodist work I read. I was hooked but I would not actualise the raw/lifefood lifestyle till much later.
I began to talk this cool guy on a political forum we both post on together. He PMed me after I said I would not dance at my own wedding because I'm too shy :p Fast forward and it's July and the same net dude is putting his mother's engagement ring on my finger. I would have never imagined I'd be getting married at ALL. I knew when I first saw him that we'd be getting married. Our first date was incredibly awkward but the second one was amazing. He's much taller than me and bigger than me, like a footballl linebacker. In fact, we went shopping together at my job one of my supervisors asked if he plays football :D God sent this man to me. He is my soul mate. I really do believe that there is such a thing because it happened to me. He saw things in myself that I could not see. He's a total azz man and I can't turn my back to him because he's always grabbing my butt :D
My acne began to clear up. I guess because I had a lot of stress pent up and I do tell him that he's had a very health effect on me. September 2005 my aunt came in from California to go to the big West Indian Day parade in Brooklyn and brought my counsin's wedding dress with her. It was designed in Paris,France and is worth $3000 and NEVER USED. The thing is my counsin is like a total size four/six and at the time I was a fourteen/sixteen. Now I'm a size twelve. I joined a gym and began working out.
My sister and I went to the city to celebrate my day. We went to Jubb's Longevity and had chai tea and almond milk. She bought me a book, a roll of ph papers (I learned I'm slightly acid) and pure coconut soap which my skin LOVES. I bought myself a Tae Bo bootcamp abs DVD and a ipod case. I have to say that Billy Blanks is the only person I can watch on DVD otherwise it's a waste of money for me. Go figure. I also had my first raw food coaching session and have not gained back the weight I lost from my two and a half day fast.
The whole point of this long post was to say that right now I have an overwhelming love for myself (even with PMS :p ). It is a true spiritual awakening as I find myself wanting to go to church, chant and pray the rosary also. I also read the psalms and want to practice yoga more. I tell my fiance that I picture my authentic self at the center of a thousand petal lotus and this is just the beginning unfolding. This is the best gift I've ever received that is a true awareness of my own goodness.
Have a blessed day.