how to deal with "experts" who tell me how unhealthy raw is [Archive]

theresaann

11-02-2005, 03:52 PM

I am a holistic healer and have lots of colleauges/friends who are also, in some form or another, and many feel that they are the self appointed expert to blurt out how unhealthy my choice to be raw is, totally unsolicited. I can understand this coming from family, neighbors-people who don't know anything about nutritional science and are just superstitious, etc. But people who are educated, and think "their way" is the only way-macrobiotics, blood type, etc, etc. It's getting annoying. Mostly I just go, "oh really?" and don't say anything. Anyone else have experiences like this? what do you say, or not, to people? how do you handle it?

Douglas

11-02-2005, 04:04 PM

Well you have to remember we were brought up thinking that the four food groups where the healthy way of eating. Many People will not give that up. Some people think I am a nut for telling them the right way to eat. When they do that, I tell them after you get sick or need a triple bye pass or even worse, have a heart attack, to come talk to me. But them same people will see you lose weight or see how healthy you get and will want to know more. Sometimes it is best to wait till they ask you what your doing. Then let them know. Doug in Calif........ :D :) :eek:

Revvell

11-02-2005, 04:32 PM

Yeah, I get the same thing even from people who know what I do. They look at me, tell me how good I look, yada, yada, yada. Then they tell me what I "should" be doing. I just look at them and say, "Well, I look the way I look because of what I do; and you look the way YOU look because of what you do."

Yanno? I don't fret it. "Uh huh" is a great answer. Then just go 'bout yer biz. If they feel the need to talk about it I tell them "I totally support you in what you wish to do; please respect me in my decision ~ thank you". That usually puts an end to it.

Oftentimes people make themselves wrong by what they are doing so they regurgitate something they've read or something their doctor has told them to rationalize what they are doing and to make themselves feel better at SOME level. "Uh huh. Good for you. Have a nice day!!! :)"

"How interesting!" Is another thing to say. They just want someone to hear them.

If they aren't paying me, I usually stay out of their business. Ummm, even if they ARE paying me, I stay out of their business unless it's part of MY business. lol

R.

Sweet lips

11-02-2005, 05:27 PM

I am with you Revvell on this one - I just smile, on anything, not just this, I find that if I do not respond and stay quite, they usually smile and kind of back away. I do like Revvell, " I look this way becasue", but my smile usually stops the unsolicited advice - that is actually where my nick name S.L. came from, among other things.

Yeah, I get the same thing even from people who know what I do. They look at me, tell me how good I look, yada, yada, yada. Then they tell me what I "should" be doing. I just look at them and say, "Well, I look the way I look because of what I do; and you look the way YOU look because of what you do."

Yanno? I don't fret it. "Uh huh" is a great answer. Then just go 'bout yer biz. If they feel the need to talk about it I tell them "I totally support you in what you wish to do; please respect me in my decision ~ thank you". That usually puts an end to it.

Oftentimes people make themselves wrong by what they are doing so they regurgitate something they've read or something their doctor has told them to rationalize what they are doing and to make themselves feel better at SOME level. "Uh huh. Good for you. Have a nice day!!! :)"

"How interesting!" Is another thing to say. They just want someone to hear them.

If they aren't paying me, I usually stay out of their business. Ummm, even if they ARE paying me, I stay out of their business unless it's part of MY business. lol

R.

Sharon in Colorado

11-02-2005, 05:42 PM

Just think how glad that you aren't actually paying them for this advice and you'll think a happy though while their blathering on.

fiddler

11-02-2005, 05:48 PM

Hmmm, believe it or not I rarely hear people tell me that what I'm eating is unhealthy. If so, I usually just tell 'em "Surely you've heard that cooking food destroys some of the nutrients" and leave it at that.

I do however have people tell me all the time how radical my diet is... Again, I smile and say something like "To each his own..."

If folks tell me I'm going to get too skinny, I just smile, take off my shirt and do an Arnold pose for 'em ( just kidding, I have done this a couple times though ;)

Cheers, Gil

rawstrawberry

11-02-2005, 05:49 PM

One of my jobs is also in the health field I just smile and say it may not be for everyone but works for me and move on to next topic.

RawStrawberry :)

TimmyC

11-02-2005, 05:54 PM

My time is more valuable spending time around people that support what I do. I can quickly tell who these people are. So I try to surround myself with those people. We rawfoodist need to keep your heads high, surround ourselves with others that support you as opposed to fighting you, and spread the word when people are genuinely interested.

Keep in mind:
The experts that are "in charge" now are also those that are "in charge" in our period of Amercian history where we've had the worst rate of obesity and diet related disease.

theresaann

11-02-2005, 06:54 PM

I like your suggestions everyone. I think what feels good to me is to say, "this might not be right for everyone, but it's working great for me." then if appropriate I can say the health benefits I've seen, etc. Just not take it personally-they don't know-they've never been raw. No big deal....

MoniDew

11-02-2005, 07:04 PM

usually I make some remark about how all of the other creatures in nature must be wrong, seeing as they suffer no disease, and we humans suffer from hundreds of diseases, yes of course WE must be correct and all of nature wrong...uh huh. :rolleyes:

deedub

11-02-2005, 07:15 PM

I was in a situation where I could not just walk off. So after some discussion and I could see where it was headed I just said, "Your probably right." and that ended the discussion. :cool:

Raw_Medic

11-02-2005, 07:25 PM

I often say something similar to what monidew mentioned. If they are looking for proof that raw is the only way I ask them to show me any other creature on the planet that cooks their food. People usually get my drift. But I still get the occasional "muscle head" that tells me that I need meat for protein...if they seem like someone with an open mind I explain the whole amino acids to protein speach, otherwise I just tell them that I am happy with my diet and I tell them about the vegan bodybuilder champ I met...then they usually shut up. If it's one of those people who refuse to let up, then I ask nicely for them to keep their oppinion to themselves and I will keep mine to me.

ksabe98

11-02-2005, 10:11 PM

I have a personal trainer at my gym now and she was very concerned about my getting enough protein I told her "oh yes so am I and I am sure I am getting enough." Also I have told many people about all of the benefits I personally have received like going off my meds of 14 years and finally having some energy and doing better than I have in many years and they have nothing to say but "oh really? tell me more" If people want to give me a battle I just change the subject. It is negative energy to fight out things with people who are not going to change their minds no matter what you say.

Sharon in Colorado

11-02-2005, 11:01 PM

I was in a situation where I could not just walk off. So after some discussion and I could see where it was headed I just said, "Your probably right." and that ended the discussion. :cool:

I think I'll borrow that. We are having guest this weekend and the gentlemen always tells me "you eat too much sugar" blah blah blah...he talks about fruit juice, etc. He eats a lot of protein and complex carbs and he has blood sugar problems.

I told my mom I was sick of his telling me that and he needs to not say that to me while they are staying here. She told me okay, as long as I agreed not to let our kids walk around in the forest by themselves.

What the?

Anyway, whatever he tells me, I think instead of fighting a lost cause, I'll say "you are absolutely right"...that should get a twist out of him.

Secret Heart

11-03-2005, 03:35 AM

It's funny how it's labelled "radical" when the irony is it is how we ate traditionally before uber-processed SAD "pablum" came along! People fear what they do not know and, depending on the person, the situation, and how I'm feeling I love to explain the amazing transformative nature of raw.

I am happy to say that I have a couple of friends who are going to embark on the raw journey. They commented on how happy and healthy I looked and I started sending them links!

Heather

ljcoolj

11-03-2005, 05:41 AM

I've found it absolutely amazing that if I ate an egg mcmuffin for breakfast, a whopper and fries for lunch (guzzled down with a coke) and pizza for dinner (with another coke)...no one would ever say ONE word to me about how I was eating. Now if all you're eating is fruits, veggies and nuts...that bothers people. It bothers them because probably deep down inside, they know its healthy and right, they just don't want to change their eating habits. They take it as an assault on their diet so they have to justify their diet but telling you what you're missing. I don't argue with people anymore, although it saddens me that soooo many people don't have a clue as to how to eat.

mbf

11-03-2005, 07:02 AM

tglasco4

11-03-2005, 08:59 AM

I say that real life is better than theory. As I continue to live a raw lifestyle and the person doesnt lets see how healthy I am compared to the person. I have done this in the past and those who said "you need meat" or "you'll get sick" or "you're too thin" are now asking "how do I do that?"....Time always tells and besides, I really hate debating. But of course there are many who live to debate.

Peace.

Todd

twinee1

11-03-2005, 12:17 PM

[QUOTE=ksabe98]I have a personal trainer at my gym now and she was very concerned about my getting enough protein I told her "oh yes so am I and I am sure I am getting enough."

I would be concerned about this trainers qualifications ! As a trainer she should have taken at least a basic nutrition fundamentals course and know the value of Raw Vegetables !
If your fitness center is doing Nutritional Coaching they should have access to a nutrtion and menu planning program where she can sit down type in your daily menu and in 60 seconds have the nutritional analysis in her hand.

MBF

MBF...being a Physique Competitor (and thinking of being a "retired" competitor now..) I have worked with trainers over last 5 years (and I am Cert FT, only I do not train anyone) and every single one puts me on a high protein 150-180 grams and low carb (fruit restricted ) diet. My current trainer is giving me a hard time as I NEED protein to build /maintain my physique. So she gave me a lacto ovo diet loaded with eggs and beans tofu and stuff like that to get me Off my Raw/Living Food diet. eat more protein.

It seems the Fitness world is so closed minded to a "healthly " approach to eating. Seems odd..they say they are a Fitness Industry but yet they are following very obsessive high protein diets !!

tG...AGREE 100 %. Live it and eventually they will see that it is a healthy approach for the Long Term !!

theresaann

11-03-2005, 02:10 PM

Sillybloss

11-03-2005, 04:40 PM

First, I went 100% to save my life. I stay on the diet because I've learned the benefits and believe it will help me lead a happy, energized, vibrant, HEALTHY, and long life! I was very sick when I started it and had lost 15 pounds from an illness. I weighed 94 lbs. I now weigh around 100, a perfect weight for me. I mention this because when people question me about "why do you eat that way......it doesn't sound healthy...." whatever they say, I always say, "I eat this way to save my life, I'd be dead if I didn't" They don't know where to go with that! :p

My husband thought the raw food diet would make him skinny and lose all his muscle until I showed him the book, "Raw Power" by Steven Arlin. How can you argue with that book! :D

rawpriestess

11-04-2005, 01:37 AM

My energy is too precious to waste arguing.

So, I simply allow all people to say and do whatever they choose, as I sit back smiling peacefully on my perfect path.

I have no need to explain, defend or justify my choices.

I simply choose not to react to anything anyone says to me.

If I do not accept their "gift" of telling me how wrong I am, they get to keep it, along with any anger, fear or animosity that was directed at me.

twinee1

11-04-2005, 04:30 AM

twinee1

11-04-2005, 04:36 AM

twinee1-I agree with you. I used to be into physique training, now just getting back into exercise for the health benefits and I am amazed by how "bulky" the fitness "superstars" look. Maybe my vision is changing due to raw, but really! They don't look healthy to me, but strained, bulky and stressed. Of course, I could be projecting that, but I've read about their pre-contest rituals and they do NOT sound fun to me. How much easier to just be raw and have energy and stamina to burn and faster recovery. then you don't have to worry about "on season, off season", etc, and don't have to resist cravings, cause you don't have any! I'm looking forward to experiencing peak fitness on raw. I can't wait....

Theresann...oh if you only knew 1/2 of what competitors go through. You would be amazed at the committment it takes. It is all consuming for these girls. I competed (6) State Level and last season qualified for my first National Show. But as I say, I am now seriously thinking to give it up. It IS unhealthly and it zaps the precious energy from more important vital parts of my life and (mental) being. It also messes with the MET. I have toyed with trying it raw..see if it is different..I will lean out easier...but again the thought in itself is daunting.

Sharon in Colorado

11-04-2005, 08:27 AM

Hey RP that's an excellent approach. Do you usually verbally respond to such people, or say nothing?

tvillemom

11-04-2005, 09:14 AM

My younger sister went into a RANT about how I should stop dieting, and just eat real food. I just told her to name 1 thing I was eating that wasn't REAL. I told her I was eating ALL God had given me, and reminded her that cooking kills nutrients, so WHY isn't what I'm eating HEALTHY. I also reminded her I WAS NOT on a diet. :D I give up trying to change hard-headed people....let them see me get healthy, and then they'll want to know what I'm doing.
Wendi

TimmyC

11-04-2005, 09:53 AM

Wendi,

Be strong....smile about what you're saying and doing, and if they are hard to talk to or they don't want to listen, just walk away. If they generally are interested, they'll come to you next time with a more open mind. The important part is to make sure your posturing is such that you don't care what others think (politely) and give a perception of happiness regardin your choices in life, and turn around and walk away when you're being bullied, ridiculed, scolded, or what have you. You'd be surprized how many of those people will actually start following you, believing in you, and supporting you(not everyone though as some just can't be changed).
My 2 cents.

Tim

My younger sister went into a RANT about how I should stop dieting, and just eat real food. I just told her to name 1 thing I was eating that wasn't REAL. I told her I was eating ALL God had given me, and reminded her that cooking kills nutrients, so WHY isn't what I'm eating HEALTHY. I also reminded her I WAS NOT on a diet. :D I give up trying to change hard-headed people....let them see me get healthy, and then they'll want to know what I'm doing.
Wendi

rawpriestess

11-05-2005, 02:06 AM

Sharon of Colorado,

It depends on exactly how it is being said, and if it is TO me or about me, etc.

I would never intentionally "ignore" someone, as that also takes my energy and peace from me.

So, I simply allow them to be who they are and say what they say, I smile, and that is it.

If they ask me a question, I respond, but I do not talk TO them, unless specifically asked, and then usually, I simply say, "for what purpose are you asking?", this is not the same as "Why do you want to know?" which sounds accusatory,

The "for what purpose" question, will change their focus to inward, and usually they really have to think, "hey, for what purpose? hum, now that's an interesting question. Purpose?" and as they go off on that tangient, it usually changes their focus.

It is a therapy technique, used to help difuse a challenge or argument.

it usually works really well, if the person is actually trying to be helpful, but is simply mis-guided.

Most people really are trying to be helpful, but are usually un-informed about the issues they are trying to help people with.

It doesn't work, when someone is actually trying to be cruel, or cause an argument, and when that happens, at least you know where they are coming from, and then again, you need not participate in their argument.

I personally, choose to leave any situation where there is someone deliberately trying to be cruel or mean.

Again, it really matters alot on the circumstances.

It isn't about confrontation, it's about difusion of a potential argument.

You see, if I were to deliberately "ignore" them, it causes me to make them the most important thing in my life at that moment.

And frankly, I have so much more to do with my energy, than to argue, or "attempt" to change someone's mind about something they know nothing about, especially an expert about nutrition, and raw foods. LOL

sport

11-06-2005, 09:55 AM

I was faced with this situation again today and did well.
I said.
"This is what I want for my body and I do not mind what you do with yours because I do not have to live with the health problems that you have and will have. However if there comes a time that you do not want to live with those problems either, then feel free to come back and talk to me"