Don't know how to say it or where to start!!

[jennplas]

Please bear with me as I share as I am pretty confused and a bit disappointed with myself.

I have been having issues with eating since about age 8 or so. I was actually able to pinpoint an age this week.
Anyway, for years i have been interested in health.. it started out i guess just like a lot of others. First you experience low fat,then soy, then mainly fruits and veggies until you end up finding raw. In my mind and heart, there has never been something so clear and right... the raw and living foods lifestyle. Not having any "live" models around me or any raw people at all around me, i have been using this site as support which is awesome. I have learned so so so much.

Anyway, now i live in a new city, right by ottawa.so tonight i had a chance to go to a raw-vegan pot luck! I had to take my 3 year old because my hubby works evenings. so needless to say i didnt get to socialize as i would have hoped to! especially since my daughter loves attention. anyway, it was awesome, there were so many different foods, some that i would have never even tried before. it just showed me that yes, raw people really exist.
in the past,i have tried different raw recipes and have had a hard time liking a lot of them. for example, anything made with sprouted buckwheat i cant stand, bread with wheatberries turned me off, today i tasted a sunflower bread that turned me off as well... it makes me a bit discouraged!! how can my taste buds failme like this?? Everyone else seems to like everything! most people love what i make and most people seemed to love what was at the potluck... however i had a very hard time with a lot of the stuff. i would love to love nori... i hated it. some things just make my stomach turn without even tasting them!! i dont get it. how am i ever going to become raw as i want to if all my taste buds seem to want is TOXIC SAD food? i guess i am a bit at a point of despair. i *need* to eat raw to save myself. i am very overweight, and i am an anxious person who fears sickness and death. I want to live healthy and really old!! what is wrong with me?? am i just not giving it a chance? it seems that everyday i am losing precious years of my life! i clear out my cupboards of stuff that i truly dont want to have, however some days i just go out and buy other stuff. i cook for my SAD hubby occasionally but i started trying to just do batches of cooking of stuff that i wont eat anyway (ground beef) and now even chicken breasts turn me off... which is great!!

i'm sorry to have gone on for so long, but it seems i just have to air out my thoughts to try and understand what is going on inside my head and my body.

do i just need a huge kick in the butt? or a complete taste bud makeover? i wish that was possible!!

well thanks for reading everyone who made it through! i will go read more of my raw stuff. i'm rereading 12 steps to raw *again*.

jennP

[fiddler]

What do you like to eat that is RAW and good for you?

Just because you dislike buckwheat or nori, or other dishes for that
matter, I wouldn't consider this to be a problem. I've never even tasted
nori yet. But when the day comes that I do try it, if I don't like it I'll just say,
oh well that was interesting and go get something else I do like :-)

My point: there are so many healthy choices to choose from. Just find what
you like and go for those foods.

hth, Gil

[sweetgoddess]

HI Jenn. I am so glad you reached out.

I related a lot to what you said in your post about some of the raw recipes turning you off. But there is no need to be disappointed in that at all.
When I first went raw, I was disappointed in a lot of the things I tried and wondered if I would be able to do this. That was 9 months ago! I have since discovered, and you can also, that there are literally thousands of things you can do with raw ingredients. So you can find foods that will delight all of your senses. It does take experimenting, but it is worth it.

I personally now trust my sense of taste, when it does not like something, my body must not need it! After awhile of eating all raw food, your tastes will change-and continuosly change! I find myself happily eating things I have never liked before.

As to your fears-that runs a lot deeper than food. When we learn to work through things like that, it is a lot easier to adapt lifestyle changes. You may want to delve into why you are afraid of sickness and death. Coming to some realizations there will serve you tremendously in every other area of being.
It is fear and fear alone that stands in our ways.
Once fear is changed to love, nothing stands in the way. ( of course, this is a process. A fabulous book to help you in this area is A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson)

Most importantly of all, give yourself love. Buckets full. There is nothing wrong with you. You are beautiful just as you are. You are simply making choices without the awareness of what the sponsoring thoughts are, as we all do.
You are growing, and its challenging. And we are all right alongside you.

Sending you love~
Carmel

[sport]

I hate mushrooms of any kind and seaweed of any kind and if I thought about it I would find many more. You are not alone in this.

[jennplas]

thanks for the support guys.
Carmel, funny you mention that book.. my sister always talks about it as that is the book i got her since she wanted it for her birthday last year.
It is indeed a deeper issue.
i think i just always wanted it to be so simple to change and enjoy what everyone else in the raw community is enjoying... so realizing that yes, i am different is sometimes difficult! though i always pretty much knew that. I can't wait for my tastes to change :) it will be a relief! in the meantime i guess i will keep on trying and trying various recipes....

oh when i mentioned buckwheat, wheatberries and nori... that was not it. i just limited myself because it seems there are SO many interesting things that i would love to love but really dont enjoy.

On a good note i did enjoy dragonfruit! it tastes like creamsoda without the fizz. very interesting! i will keep on trying new things in the meantime.. !

thanks again,
jennP

[sweetgoddess]

I know what you mean Jenn. When I tried flax crackers, I gagged. When I tried zuchinni noodles, I gagged. When I tried marinara it disgusted me ( it wasnt Alissa's recipe btw, that one I like)....when I tried the onion bread...ick...and on and on.
But through the months I found the things I did like. Raw stir-fry, all kinds of yummy salads, pates, a different kind of cracker, ice cream, smoothies, crepes, a ton of desserts, pizza, quiche, raw oats, cookies, wraps, not to mention fruits and veggies.

So do keep trying! There are tons of flavors out there. :)

Blessings~

[twinee1]

I am glad you started this thread because many of us can relate. I went through some of the same issues you face.

Being successful on the raw diet is dependent of finding and creating the meals you like.

I have a very long list of things I dislike, coconut, raw broccoli, avocado, raw grains, dates, figs, sweet tropical fruits, nori ( I do like the toasted one but it is not raw) and to make it easier the only seed I like taste of raw is Pumpkin and nut is Almonds. I was a huge peanut fan and tried them raw and found I do not like them. So the key is what do I like ? the list here is huge. I love most ALL veggies, discovered purple brocolli and cauliflower, red cabbage is awesome raw, and crunchy sprouts like mung, red lentil sprouts and napa cabbage for my nori replacement is roll ups...and so on ! Flax crackers are a nice treat ! I had some almonds and pumpkin seeds instead and that held me off till my dinner or cabbage rolls..yum !

So I am rambling ...my point is that you do not need to like the "recipes". Many of them are aquired tastes. I have three cookbooks but rarely use recipes as written, if at all. I would suggest for now that you try various chopped veggies in a salad. Find one dressing you like for dipping veggies.

I have not read Alissa's book yet, not sure what you have, but two Raw books I have spent time talking about the Transition phase, during that time I ate semi cooked spagetti squash with warm organic tomato sauce. I ate manna bread and other transition foods. Now I am in the last phase Raw !

So give it time and it will work out.

As a side note about changing tastes. I used to eat alot of a certain high protein low carb Bar. Yesterday I was low on food and needed some protein in my diet. The Health food store bars are loaded with the sugary type Lara Bars so I thought what the heck I will cheat and have the bar I used to eat (loaded with soy protein and mannitol, glycerol and all that bad stuff..) so I took that first bite and ugh..I spit it out and throw the bar away. I wonder how I ever ate it..nasty ! I will never "pine" for my old diet after that !!

Leslie

[kellymarie]

I went and wrote a somewhat long winded reply last night and just as i hit submit - my computer crapped out!!! so here goes.

I have been on and off raw for about six months now. I bought alissas book and tried the more complicated recipes she suggested to start with, but didn't really have a taste for most of them, and so i would fail constantly... just recently, yesterday actually, i realized that i did much better when i kept it very simple, salads, lots of fruit and some nuts . As long as i planned well and had things on hand and prepared lunch for the next day, i generally succeeded!! so maybe try the k.i.s.s method like i am going to try ( monday is payday and i can buy groceries) and hopefully you find better results and are happier with your choices, and down the road you can experiment when your taste buds have no doubt changed!!

good luck , i wil be rooting for you my fellow canadian!!

kelly

[cattzeye]

Hi Jenn,

First of all, welcome to raw foods! And welcome to the forum. I have found everyone here to be very nice and supportive, and I hope you will, too.

Actually, I myself don't eat many "recipe" meals. Once in a while I'll whip something up, but usually my diet is pretty simple and straight-forward. Just because you don't like certain concoctions (recipes) or certain foods that everyone else seems to be raving about, doesn't mean you can't be successful with the raw foods lifestyle. Like others here have said, just find the foods that you do like, and run with it! Have you tried just eating very simply, just plain ol' fruits and vegetables? Are there any that you like just by themselves? For breakfast and snacks, I always eat fresh fruit. There's a wonderful, delicious world of fruits out there. There's so many kinds and varieties that I never, ever get bored eating them. The same with fresh veggies. If you're not used to eating fresh fruits and veggies, you might start by picking up some at the store that you're curious about. Experiment, and see which ones strike your fancy.

Best of luck to you, and let us know how you're doing.

Christine

[MoniDew]

Jenn, don't panic. Go ahead and reread 12 steps to raw. You'll get to the part where she starts talking about what her family craved, each according to their need of the moment. That's where you are. Like it or not, your body is telling you what to eat, leading you, toward better health. If you don't like something now, maybe you just don't need it now. If you do want something, maybe you need it (not SAD, but raw and healthy.)

Let your tastes lead you. It's for the best. Right now, I'm on a huge kale kick, with parsley and cilantro. Anybody else would gag at that combo, but I'm downin' it like there's no tomorrow!

It's ok to not like something. Just know in your mind that - you don't like it, want it, or need it NOW - not that you won't ever.

[Helen Of Tennessee]

Hi JennP,

I go to monthly raw food potlucks (been doing this for a year) and have gone to Seminars by Victoria Boutenko, Paul Nison & Tonya Zavasta. There is no raw food dish that I like. It's not that I haven't tried it, but I just plain don't like them. What do I like?

Whole fresh fruits
Whole veggies (in a salad)
Smoothies
Nuts

There is such a big variety that I will eat from the list above.

So as long as you like something that is raw, then eat it. BTW sometimes you have to give something some time. It took a few mangos before I liked them. Same with carrot juice. There are just some foods you'll have to try over a few times to see if you will like them. It takes your taste buds some time to adjust, like people who drink coffee. They didn't like it at first now they can't go without it.

<>< Helen of Tennessee

[swiddweas]

You're not crazy.

To me it sounds like what you are going through is the beginning stages of the raw food transformation. This can take years. From the time I first started to go raw until the time I finally stayed raw for good has been 15 years. Don't let sickness happen to you before you go one hundred percent raw, like I did. I gained so much weight on the SAD diet that it was making me sick. Now I am raw for good. Even though I gag on the Onion bread, feel nauseated eating raw oats and sprouted rye, and would rather starve to death then eat the flax crackers I have made.

Your fears of sickness and dying are the catalyists that will get you to raw if you are anything like me, and it sounds like you are. Once you are permanently raw, perhaps your mind will say that you will live because you are eating live food, which sustains you in more ways then one. When we are indulging in SAD, yes, we are dying because the food we are eating is dead!

Hopefully I have given you some help. You are not alone, believe me. I have been there and done that.


PattyE

[prettyeyes38]

Hello, so much wonderful advice here already! I am quite new to raw, almost 30 days now, but I would like to say...

...I do raw very simply. I do a smoothie for breakfast each morning of strawberries, fresh squeezed orange juice, a banana, and a handful of spinach leaves.
...I will sometimes crave raw veggies during the day, so I keep baby carrots on hand...
...Salads and nuts round out my day...if I feel a need for something sweet at night, I will drizzle honey over a few walnuts.

For me, personally, the beauty of raw is the simplicity. There's something almost spiritual for me about slicing open an orange in the morning and smelling it and seeing how beautiful it is!!

I have a seven-year-old daughter. I would never force her to eat like I do, but by being an example, she is asking for more raw fruits and vegetables all the time.

I don't think that our taste buds have to like things like sprouted grains for us to be successful at raw. There are quite a few cooked foods that I don't like, either!!

And thanks to Carmel for reminding me about love and fear!

Rachel

[jennplas]

wow... thanks everyone. it is so great to read what you all have to say. and in most messages, it just takes the despair out of my mind. it is just common sense to keep it simple. i guess i am always looking for the miracle foods that i would love more than chocolate! it means a lot to me that you took the time to post. and strangely enough.... i am craving sprouts today (huh??)
now i just need to find a salad dressing that i really like! havent found a raw one that i like yet, but i will keep trying!
thanks for the hope you gave back to me :)
some days we forget....

jennP

[sport]

I have posted a salad dressing here before that goes great with sprouts so I will repeat it.
Olive oil in a bowl.
Add some crushed garlic and crushed dried chilli.
Add finely chopped sun dried tomatoes.
Allow to sit for at least a day.

[askcassyfirst]

I thought I would add that I agree with all the other that have written to you already. It definately takes time for taste buds to change. Until then, eat the foods that you do like, that you do enjoy. Before I started eating raw, I hated cabbage. This is funny for me to think about, because since nigh on week 2 of raw, I have loved cabbage salad! (it has been over 2 years now, and I still adore it. I have been known to polish off an entire head of it.)

Taste is something that goes back to our early days of learning about foods, don't you think? I remember being a kid (I was the child of a hippie family) and my mom would often bring home take out from the local health food store. It was a sprout salad with lots of seeds and raw cabbage, and it smelled like tahini and curry seasonings. To this day, if I enter that particular deli, the smell makes me recall how I would feel ill when I was fed that meal. I think that is one reason why I wasn't a fan of cabbage, nor curry, nor sprouted mung beans. I still don't LOVE tahini, nor mung beans.

Having been involved with the raw diet for a while now, I can really see that my taste buds are changing. I notice when too much salt has been added to dressings, or sauces. I have better taste awareness I think. I can tell when fruits and veggies are starting to 'turn'. Both bad, and ripe. (I never used to notice when I ate bananas if they were too starchy, and not ripe enough.) I think it is really a blessing.

As everyone mentioned...Fill your plate with fresh ripe fruits and veggies of bright colors. They will cleanse your palate, and open your tastebuds wide. In time things will taste all together different. It's true.

Sucess!

Cassy :)

[rawpriestess]

You are NOT alone.

I don't like buckwheat at all, sprouted grains, or nori either,

I absolutely hate avocados, and that is almost blaphamy in the raw world.

But, I do love fruits and veggies, and nuts and I like to creat recipes using these things.

But one day, I noticed that I only wanted melons, so I ate just melons for almost a month, then I only wanted oranges, so I ate oranges, now I am eating more nuts and squash.

Oh, and I am much like Helen of Tennesee, I have eaten many raw foodist's recipes that they made, and I didn't like them at all. I mean totally ick, I couldn't even politely eat one bite. They were really disgusting, and I paid alot for this food, and the recipes. ARGHH!!

But, I decided to keep eating raw, and to continue on, and then I finally found Alissa's book, and I found recipes that I loved. Then I just added a few things here and there until they were perfect for me.

Now, I mostly eat simple fruits and veggies and salads for myself.

[Raw Sweetie]

Jenn, I'm so impressed and touched by your sincere desire to improve your health. It sounds like the core of many of your eating issues are emotional (like most of us--trust me, I'm right there with ya, honey). Not only do the physical toxins sabotage the natural function of our bodies and minds, but emotional toxins do as well just as much if not more sometimes. (I'm just experiencing an instance of this right now.) My suggestion would be to recognize that somewhere beliefs are stored in you that cause you to hold onto your "old" ways (maybe for perceived "survival" or "pain avoidance"). They may come out as thoughts like "I hate this food", "This is impossible for me", etc. If your heart buys into these false beliefs, your "old" unhealthy nature will stay and whatever deeper issues it is protecting will lie dormant and unresolved and keep perpetuating the damaging cycle. But I know that deep inside your heart knows the truth and that is why you are here. Jenn you know you are worth so much more!! Make a decision to start simply...whole raw fruits and vegetables, water with lemon, fresh juices, herbal tea and like everyone else said, don't force yourself to eat things you don't like to start with and then beat yourself up about not liking it. Your mind will rebel, but don't give in--this is not "you", it's your false belief system or a subconcious attempt to keep you from addressing deeper issues. It's OK, just don't give in. And if you do...you know what? Tomorrow is another day!! We musn't allow self-condemnation to keep us paralyzed. It'll be a challenge to break the old mind, but you can do it and you will benefit and so will your daughter!! A bonus lesson is that the same principles that you learn when changing your diet and health are the same principles that can change anything in your life. The raw food journey is a great training ground or "boot camp" to learn things to apply to other areas of life and help others, too! When you start eating simply, and your mind tells you that you're unsatisfied, instead of reaching for something you know isn't good for you, start writing or at least asking questions like "Wait a minute, what am I really hungry for (besides junk food)? What is really causing me to feel unsatisfied? How do I feel right now that I am automatically wanting to medicate with food?". Hope this is helpful, sweetie! I have found that it's helped me out tremendously!! You'll find that your taste buds will definitely change and your body will be so grateful that you are feeding it what is really wants in order to function optimally--it will become your best friend instead of an "opponent". Let us know how you are doing, OK?