Raw Food Eating in this society (or anywere) and having a social life.

[Breakaway]

:drool: Hi All! I haven't been to this forum in awhile - know this has been discussed before but wwould like to bring it up again. Sorry if I've missed recent posts about this. I little emoticon I just used says it is drooling but for me it is a look of exasperation, which I am feeling.
My raw food adventures and eating challenges are varied, but what is on my mind right now is that I am yes, exasperated, about feeling so kind of freakishly alone in how I want to eat (mostly raw). I am not a leader, but neither am I a follower and I think I am strong enough to begin to eat the way I need to in the face of many poor eating choice temptations everywhere. I am having difficulty with the fact that everywhere I go, every time I turn around, I have to make an huge effort to make sure I can eat the way I need. Don't mind the effort, do mind the resistance or the not-getting-it from friends/family or other's I need to be around. Most people I know eat out a whole lot, eat very poorly, and how this is a problem for me is when I want to get together with my friends - almost ALL of them want to go out to eat. I get tired of going places where I CAN get just a salad with a few pitifull slices of fresh veggie on it and still get charged over $5.
(So, yes, finances do come into play here). Is there no one in the world who would like to go on a picnic, or eat at each other's house and fix food that works for both? Oh, I do have ONE friend whom I can do this with and what a blessing that is, Wish we could do that more as she often keeps wanting to go out, and I keep saying that is a real problem for me, financially (shouldn't really be going out at all, as well as the food choices not being right for me.
I am to the point where, for my health, I HAVE to start eating mostly raw, with few exceptions. But I also need a social life! It all (social things) seems to evolve around FOOD. Yes, I have brought a smoothie bottle to a pot luck, or just not eaten, or have just not gone places because FOOD is a big part of it. These are people/acitivites I DO want to do.
Maybe I am making a bigger deal out of this that I need to. Maybe I haven't t gotten used to living/eating my own way and not worrying about it. I am one that does not like to draw attention to myself, or give explanations for what I do and eating like I want seems to require that.
I guess I just need to vent. Maybe there are more solutions than I can see right now. I have gone to a few raw food events in my area, and the people were very, very nice, and interesting, (awesome food too), but honestly they were involved in certain (outside of just the eating) lifestyles that I can't relate to at all, and there wasn't much room for conversation about other things. (I want to keep it vague here - don't like to be critical. It's just that I felt very uncomfortable and couldn't find a way to fit in at all - other than the eating part.)
This aspect of a raw eating lifestyle is bogging me down (at least in my mind) as everywhere I do, and everything I do I have to adjust, and figure out how to make it work and I am WILLING to to that, but I also want a feeling of freedom :dance: about how I life.
Any insights, encouragements, or even pointing out where I may be looking at this wrong would be very appreciated!!!!! :heart
BTW, in the past one of my biggest helps in feeling stronger in my qwest to eat more raw has been on this forum. I have not posted much, but have read a lot, and it's been great. Haven't been here for awhile and that may be one of my problems.
Looking forward :excited: to hear from any of you who feel like responding in any way.
Thank you, thank you!!!

[speltrong]

We are definitely a society that's based around food, and that can be a bit frustrating for sure. So I feel for you. As you mentioned, this has been discussed at length in other forums, but my general feeling and focus is to never push my eating choices on anyone else, and in return I expect that they won't do the same to me. If we're going to a friend's house for dinner, we typically take our own food, and they understand (often we will take something that we won't eat, but they will, just to show a friendly spirit). Many people feel judged or looked down upon when they feel like they're being preached at about how to eat, so we make it a point to NEVER do that. We indicate to them that we know we're odd, and we appreciate them still being willing to hang out with us, etc. You'd be surprised how much people relax when they realize that you're not trying to judge them or force them to be a certain way.
Regarding the financial struggles, I'd just be honest with folks and tell them that you can't afford to go out, but would love to meet at a park and have a picnic or something like that. I can't imagine anyone would argue with you.
So yeah, those are the things that have helped me to remain on great terms with the folks who I no longer share eating habits with. There are also a few people that I have opted to stop hanging out with, and there are many new friends I've met from eating raw. You'll have to figure out what works for you, but those are my quick thoughts on the subject.

[speltrong]

also, if I am going out to a restaurant with friends, and it's a place that I know doesn't have food I love, then I'll eat ahead of time, and when I get there I just order the iceberg salad or whatever cruddy thing they can make for me. That could work for you too, since that sort of stuff seems to be much much cheaper. :)

[Breakaway]

Thank you Speltrong! I agree about not pushing anything on anyone and respect where they are , and I am hoping I can have the same from them. I think I need to just feel more confident about what I am doing. I really like your idea of taking something to someone they can eat when you are taking your own food. Great thought aand for sure showing a friendly spirit as you say. I also like what you said about telling people you appreciate their willing to still hang out even with the eating differences. As you experienced, there may be some folks I won't continue with - I'll just see how it goes - and I can also look forward to meeting new raw friends. Ha about the iceburg think, but I have done that and it at least gave me something to chew on :eat !
Thanks again for your thoughts and ideas.

[Amy Bass]

I am very thankful to have a brother and sister in law who are both very into raw foods so that gives my husband and I the support we need at family events. Other social events I am still struggling with and have been avoiding them until I can figure it out.

[Breakaway]

Amy - I do think it takes working with it to find out how to make it work. That's great that your brother and sister in law are into raw. That is wonderful support!