Unsupportive Partners & Raw

[Traveller]

Does anyone else face difficulties with unsupportive partners, whether they be husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, or whatever?

I am having real difficulties with my girlfriend, the person who actually introduced me to raw more than two years ago. At first she was very enthusiastic about it. She loved trying new recipes, and even got into fasting, and mono-raw for a while. It was something we had in common.

But, recently she has fallen off the wagon and seems to purposely eat everything that is forbidden in raw food-ism. Ice cream, cheese, chocolate, sausage, bread, fried potatoes with sour cream. This seems to be her daily diet for the past few months. I can't get my head around why she is doing this to herself. She has gained a lot of weight, and is becoming more and more negative and aggressive.

I do not preach to her about her choices. But I do encourage her to eat well with me. Sadly, she often refuses, claiming raw foods taste bad to her. Oranges are too acidic, salad is too bland, everything too boring. She purposely tries to get me to eat the same way, and often there is nothing I can eat. Trips to the supermarket have become much more expensive and more frequent.

I hope it is only a temporary situation, and she will make an effort to change her ways back to raw.

[Revvell]

My husband is doing the same thing as far as eating ~ Meat, wheat, cheese and coffee are his staples. He blames my time with Alissa on Rawkin' Radio and the impetus for him drinking coffee again. One thing different... he still supports me in my health.. even brought me a couple of pounds of fresh cherries yesterday.

All you can do, from my pov, is, take care of you! When she's ready to do differently, she will ~ or not. It's always easier for people to bring us down than for us to bring them up so, basically, you're on your own.. or, here with us! :dance:

[MysticTree]

Unsupportive and partner are words that don't belong in the same sentence.

I think this runs far deeper than whether salads are bland. She seems to be rejecting you and the way you eat and doing everything she can to be as unlike you as possible. She is pulling away. Maybe you should let go and see if she really wants to leave or whether, if given the choice, she chooses to stay.

[lunagirl]

I'm so sorry to hear about your girlfriend's behavior. Have you tried talking to her? If she got you started on raw food and now she's putting it down, perhaps there's something deeper going on. It sounds like she's scared of something and she's putting distance between you (subconsciously, I bet she isn't aware of it) and if you begin a conversation letting her know how you Feel, maybe you can begin to resolve things. You may not even want to bring up food, just let her know you feel like she's withdrawing/is upset about something and you feel ____ about that. Assure her that you love her and you're there if she wants to talk about anything. (If you've already tried this, or you didn't want any advice, please ignore this especially long post) :duh


Does anyone else face difficulties with unsupportive partners, whether they be husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, or whatever?

I am having real difficulties with my girlfriend, the person who actually introduced me to raw more than two years ago. At first she was very enthusiastic about it. She loved trying new recipes, and even got into fasting, and mono-raw for a while. It was something we had in common.

But, recently she has fallen off the wagon and seems to purposely eat everything that is forbidden in raw food-ism. Ice cream, cheese, chocolate, sausage, bread, fried potatoes with sour cream. This seems to be her daily diet for the past few months. I can't get my head around why she is doing this to herself. She has gained a lot of weight, and is becoming more and more negative and aggressive.

I do not preach to her about her choices. But I do encourage her to eat well with me. Sadly, she often refuses, claiming raw foods taste bad to her. Oranges are too acidic, salad is too bland, everything too boring. She purposely tries to get me to eat the same way, and often there is nothing I can eat. Trips to the supermarket have become much more expensive and more frequent.

I hope it is only a temporary situation, and she will make an effort to change her ways back to raw.

[Revvell]

I would check and see what the rest of your relationship is like before making a stay/go decision. Of course, what she's doing isn't JUST about the food... yet, if you still hold hands when you go places (if you ever did); if you find yourselves saying "I love you" at any time of day.... if everything else works for you... then, there's a glitch here and when/if she's ready...

[Raw Angel Mom]

Love her the way she is and let go the attachment that she will do raw food with you. Once you eat cook food and especially that junk, nothing in raw is appealing. She gave up but the good news, she will see you how vibrant of health and enough will of wanted to do this again. She will get back on raw food when she is ready, you cannot forget the energy with raw food.

If you get along and you have a great relationship beside this issue of food, then she is a keeper. It would be nice if you both do raw food, but the decision is up to you of where you put your value.

Perhaps, sit with her and let her know how you feel about for her to eat that stuff in front of you. Perhaps, you can find a common ground.

Don't give up with raw food, it is so healing and it keeps you young.

All the best!

p.s Please don't pressure her, it will make her regress further down. Cook food is addictive and the type she eats, is like a heavy drug. Compassion is the way while setting boundaries to honour you when you do raw food. Have a nice conversation with her and see where it goes.

[MyRedPanda]

My husband is not raw but he is supportive of me. Maybe she didn't like eating this way for whatever reason. It doesn't mean she still can't be your girlfriend. I cook for my husband all the time, and for our baby, and then I make smoothies or whatever I want for myself. As long as I am not being critized for my choices I think that is "support" even if they are not eating the same way I am. The weight gain however, and the aggression I would not be able to deal with. You can stay slim regardless of what diet you chose. Maybe suggest exercise for the two of you to help her lose weight.

[CathyA.]

Just let her do her thing and you do yours as far as food goes. You can't make people do anything. Be supportive to her and she just may come back around to raw. She knows that she feels like poo and that her attitude is stinky. She just has to come to terms with it herself and want to feel good again. Hang in there. :heart

[GreenLeaves]

I agree with MysticTree. Someone who doesn't have your best interest at heart (let alone attempting to be a saboteur) is not a "partner." Perhaps you are adjusting to this new info you have about her.

[Draginvry]

Unsupportive and partner are words that don't belong in the same sentence

Agreed. A relationship is only a relationship as long as there is mutual interest. If a "partner" is constantly trying to undermine your decisions, I would be questioning the nature of that relationship.

[D'vorah]

Why is there often nothing you can eat?

If I depended upon my spouse to make sure there was food I could eat, it would amount to nothing more than iceburg lettuce and a few tomatoes. But there is always plenty for me to eat, because I can go to the grocery as easily as can he, and I've created organizational storage for my food and a recipe book of favorites that I prepare for myself. I don't expect or wait on him to grocery for me or prepare food for me.

Some people would say that he is unsupportive of me and my choices, but I think we have to be careful about how we define "supportive." He doesn't demand that I eat any other way than I do, but he doesn't join me in it. He doesn't refuse me the right to buy my own groceries, but does expect that his will also be available, which is fair. He doesn't believe in my way of eating, but he affords me the right to do as I see fit.

The difference between me and you (Traveller), is that I am already married to my partner, and raw wasn't a way of life for me when we were dating many years back. You are dating and not married, so your options are different than mine.

Raw isn't the only question when it comes to a dating relationship. There are a lot of questions to be asked when dating, as far as why two people are together, what they mutually AND separately expect / want / need in and from a relationship.

A hardcore meat eater CAN co-exist with a full-on raw foodist, if the relationship is balanced and healthy, loving and desirable in other areas.

The question is, can you live with someone who chooses an unhealthy and / or animal-based diet?

[canna]

On our farm we are 100% organic down to a boar brissle wood toothbrush. No exceptions. All at minimum vegitarians.
We have a no exceptions rule to animal cruelty, no eating meat and animals get to be themselves.
We free range and pasture very small chickens (Pigeon size) for the soy free small egg market. My 7 year old son runs this end of our farm. Our chickens are raw fed 100%, 50 chicken on 5 acres. We farm very much like Joel that you have seen in lots of the food documentaries with the exception of no killing. When our chickens are done laying they still get to roost on my window lol.

My wife is an egg, raw milk, raw cheese eating vegitarian that makes a ton of raw food, she is also a master baker so...... I stay away from the grains. But her stuff is insane. She is 6 months pregnant and craves... But has been amazing.

I let my kids make there own decisions.

My 7 yo son is mostly raw, he does not like eggs. He drinks a glass of raw milk per day, 8 oz kumbacha per day, 1 yogurt and around 5 8oz raw juices. He is very strict with his diet and preaches this life he lives.

My 5 yo daughter is same as son but adds lots of grain, raw cheese and if there is a cookie near she can sense it. Her thing is she will not wear shoes. Feels they toxify her feet.

My son tell you if the cows were not pastured and supplimented with soy based pellet. We are all soy toxic.

Since eating gratitudes cookies and snacks my wife is diving into raw goodies and treats so I am loving that.

[Aleesha Sattva]

This is a raw vegan forum... we do not discuss the consumption of animal products.

in light,
Aleesha
Admin

[canna]

I understand. I still love it here :)




This is a raw vegan forum... we do not discuss the consumption of animal products.

in light,
Aleesha
Admin