Eating Disorder

[Rawmommie]

Is there anyone out there with an eating disorder(overeating) that can give me some words of wisdom?

Sigh. I'm all over the place these days just stuffing my face and then promising myself that night that tomorrow will be a new day and then screwing up somewhere during the day. I'm only about 50-75% raw at this point and I feel like crap. :(

I just don't know what to do. Food seems to have an emotional noose on me and no matter how much self talk I do, I just can't stay 100% for a day, much less eat even semi healthy cooked foods. I'm feeling really desperate and depressed lately and this just makes it worse.

I'm feel like such a failure. Everytime I promise myself that I'll just do 30 days to get back on track I can't even make it 4! WTF is wrong with me? :(

[LNdolls]

There is NOTHING wrong with you. Your body is craving real nutrition. That is certainly the basis for my compulsive overeating for some 35 years.. sigh. I only now really understand that true proper and appropriate nutrition takes the cravings away. For me I am just discovering that green smoothies and raw juices with lots of green in them, plus my favorites pesto and guacamole REALLY FEED me. I feel human, patient, kind and so fed when I eat them. Especially the smoothies.
What you are doing is a process - listen slocely to your body, allow yourself to eat as much as you want - and simply do as Alissa says - make it raw, raw, raw. AS much as you want. I have been eating like a proverbial horse for almost 330 days now and I have lost two pounds - and I have learned a ton about my body and it's messages. It is leading em toward greater health. It is turning out to be my friend.
If I can turn this around then so can you.
Don't try and eliminate anything right htis second.. go make a green smoothie.. see how it feels, how long you are satisfied, what you want to eat when you do get hungry... then eat it and notice how it feels.
NO plans, no rules - listen to your body - feel your feelings and move closer and closer to raw. grin You will be ready for the challenge in no time.
I also thought while i was luggin my heavy produce home of a good book to help you become more skilled at listening to your body - The 7 Secrets of Slim People - so worthwhile.
Big cyber hug,
LN

[Rawkinlocs]

Awww Karen!

I feel for you hun. Okay, a few questions if you don't mind:

1. When you DO eat raw or make the attempt to do the 30-day challenge, are you trying to eat all simply or are you making recipes and dishes? I remember Alissa saying that one of the mistakes we sometimes make when we go off of eating raw is that when we come back we try eating simply and end up feeling deprived, etc.

2. Are there raw recipes that you like or even love? If so, MAKE those and pronto! Make any and everything you like/love and keep on hand all the raw fruits, veggies, etc. that you like/love to eat.

3. Are there any raw food events that take place in your area or somewhere in your surrounding area? Sometimes that helps to motivate you and inspire you. I was slipping up something awful until I went to California with Alissa and the others and it's like those 4 1/2 days were just what I needed to get my rear in gear and DO the dang thang.

4. Do you find that you are eating non-raw things that are ONLY in your home or will you go so far as to travel to get them? The reason I ask is because, if things are here in my home...my kitchen that I have issues with, then that's when I screw up the most. I won't go out of my way to go GET anything objectionable. So...and I know many won't want to go to this "extreme" but I had to take a stand. My dh and I both are trying to do this and do this right. Out of my 4 kids, only one of them is having issues with eating this way. I mean, while they're out and about, any of them will eat objectionable things, but from now on, they know it's not coming in this house!

I have been making food from raw uncook books and most of the family will eat them. There is also stuff here for smoothies, oatmeal, salads, there's fruit and veggies and if my eldest doesn't want to eat the recipe dishes, then he can eat simply (most times he does and whatever "junk" he wants he gets when he's out with his friends).

My point is, I had to take a stand. I had to decide if trying to appease my kids was more important or feeding them what I know in my heart is right. Not only for them, but for me. You may or may not be able to do this in your home...but if you can, do it. If your husband isnt' "there" with you, then it will most definitely be tougher.

[Rawmommie]

Thank you girls. I feel almost manic about this, so out of control sometimes. Right now I'm feeling better, but catch me tomorrow afternoon and I'll be out of control again. sigh.

Cherie, your questions:


1. When you DO eat raw or make the attempt to do the 30-day challenge, are you trying to eat all simply or are you making recipes and dishes? No, I try to eat simple b/c that is what worked for me in the beginning. I cannot have many nuts. My face breaks out really bad and I feel sluggish. A lot of times I'm working on a budget and a lot of the recipes I have just can't be made without spending 20$ on the ingredients alone. I have a dehydrator, but the times I have made food, I feel like I've eaten cooked when I eat it, so I cut back on using that too.

2. Are there raw recipes that you like or even love? If so, MAKE those and pronto! I feel like I haven't had enough things on hand. I will go and get a ton of stuff and then just gorge on it for 2 days and then run out and need more! This is very expensive.

3. Are there any raw food events that take place in your area or somewhere in your surrounding area? I live about 100 miles from St. Louis in the middle of nowhere land. No raw foodists in sight, but I have a homeschooling group of moms that are very *crunchy* and supportive of my raw eating when I'm around them.

4. Do you find that you are eating non-raw things that are ONLY in your home or will you go so far as to travel to get them? I rarely have things in the house that I crave, but the kids are not raw, either is my husband, so if I start craving, sometimes even PB&J sounds good when normally it doesn't.

I hope my answers don't sound like excuses. They really aren't, they just are what they are. I feel like my addiction to food is still there (one day I had 9 avacado's???) but I FEEL better and cleaner and calmer when eating raw. I just don't get why after a few days I kick in the towel and give in to my rationalizations.

Thanks so much for your support, it means a lot. :)

[Rawkinlocs]

Karen, I believe the answer truly lies within you and I believe that you WILL get this all worked out because you WANT to! It'll happen...but I just get the feeling that nothing we say will get you there. I hope that doesn't sound harsh because I surely don't mean for it to.

I do want to quote (paraphrase) one of our dear members for just something to think about:

"We live off of $8 an hour and we eat raw foods."
- SweetGoddess

I know eating raw can seem expensive, but there are ways to make it work. I believe there is a thread in this forum...something along the lines of raw on a budget or something like that where some very useful tips were given that may be helpful to you as well.

===
Here is the thread I was referring to: http://www.rawfoodtalk.com/forum/showthread.php?t=7021

[Sharon in Colorado]

Hey Karen,

I just heard from a long time raw fooder and I got some wonderful insight on transitioning. I knew quite a bit about it before hand but it's nice to hear from someone with 15 years experience.

You were quite an inspiration to many of us when you did your 30 day challenge. However, were you going from a complete meat based SAD diet to the raw? That could be the problem.

I know people say go 100% right away, but sometimes it's easier to drop meat first, then dairy, then grains, etc. and then when you are ready to go for it, you go 100%.

If the change is too drastic and you aren't making proper replacements for what you are dropping from your diet, you will become frustrated or emotional and eat exactly what you didn't want to eat in the first place.

You may have to meal plan a little here. Decide right away what you are going to eat for breakfast. Are you still eating animal products? If you are, then try dropping them first, but still have a raw breakfast. Make sure you keep a plan of when to drop the next thing. This may take you a week or a month depening on how well you handle that thing you dropped.

Try being patient with yourself. It is frustrating to all of us when it happens, heck I'm going on 5 years back and forth with it and I finally discovered something that helps me stay in line a little better. I allowed myself some raw, unpasteurized cheese and I'm able to stay raw, but I do plan on dropping it because I believe it really has no place in my diet. But if there is one or two things you can allow yourself once you do go 100%, allow that in your diet until your body gets used to eating raw again.

This is the best time to get back in thh swing of things, before the 3 months in a row deadly holidays. So I encourage you to do what you can to get back on track and have glorious health throughout the decedant holidays.

Hope this helped.

Feel free to e-mail or PM me if you'd like to chat more about it.

[Leiloshka]

Rawmommie, all the replies have been great because eating raw can help with cravings, give your body much needed nutrition, and will help you learn over time what your body is really saying it needs. However, if you are really dealing with an addictive compulsive disorder like overeating, or any other type of eating disorder, just promising yourself you will do better the next day won't work. I know. There is a group called Overeaters Anonymous which provides 12 step support meetings for overeaters, anorexics and bulimics. They have a great website at http://www.oa.org/index.htm which gives a lot of information and will allow you to search for a meeting where you live.

People who have eating disorders aren't able to follow advice like "just don't eat if you're not hungry" or "just stop if you are full", etc. But, take heart because there is help. In OA, they not only work on the food, but all the reasons behind the food.

I can tell you though, as a recovering bulimic (not active for years, but it's like an alcoholic, you are always one), being raw has been great. It helps take away the obsession with food because you can eat all you want, it's healthy, and you are cutting out all the "trigger" foods. If you thought about it right now, you could probably already identify some "trigger foods" that lead to a binge. And I'm willing to bet these "trigger foods" aren't raw. So on raw, you automatically cut these out. They aren't there in your face tempting you every day.

So, check out the OA site, try out several meetings and keep coming here to learn more about living foods. Over time, the voices will silence and you will realize you are at peace with yourself and your eating habits. And, forget the 30 days at a time goal you mentioned...at OA, it's one day at a time. :)

[Rawmommie]

Cherie, I think raw eating can be done just as easily as any other way of eating when you are on a budget...just not when you binge eat! It's not really the raw food, it's the AMOUNT of raw food (or any other food) I consume that is costly for me. I had a lot more control over this when I was 100%. I just need to get back there. I'm going to find my way back!

Sharon, thank you. :) No, I'm not eating meat anymore (ok, there was that one slip) :rolleyes: but I haven't added meat back into my diet since I went raw last November. It's all the pasta's, bread's and even dairy that's killing me. What upsets me most is that I didn't eat any of those carby things for 3 YEARS b/c I was eating Lowcarb and these overeating issues were there, but they were kind of hiding.

For me, raw brings out all those hidden little things that you don't want to face b/c your mind is so much clearer. I think it scared me and I just backed off and now can't seem to get back to that place. I think I really need to start meditating and doing my yoga again. I'm not sure what I'm so fearful of, I felt so free. I don't want to waste anymore time analyzing it either, I just want to be there!

[Rawmommie]

Thank you Leiloshka. I'm going to start reading up on OA too. I KNOW the benefits of raw and the fact that I can't seem to do what I know is right for me, no matter how many times I try makes me think that I need a 12 step program to help me stay on track. I don't know much about OA, but I do have experience with 12 step programs and it's true, I need to focus on each day, and not look so far ahead right now.

[Leiloshka]

I'm glad you'll check it out. You might not think so now, but it will get better. You will become more sane. :) Feel free to PM or e-mail me if you wish.

Happy reading........

[calee]

Hi Karen,

I'm a member of OA. Please feel free to PM me anytime.

Lee

[ReneeSC]

Paul Nison's new book, "Raw Spirit", addresses the very things you're talking about, Karen; yourself being exposed, thinking higher - even being afraid of it, how to deal with Raw Food problems, how to optimize for your own body and mind..

I think it sounds very useful. I'd like to read it, too!

[Rawmommie]

Thank you so much for all the suggestions. I found a yahoogroup for raw vegan OA and my heart is lighter already. I am so grateful for everyone's directions, sometimes you can't see the path right in front of you without someone pointing it out! :)

[JMD]

HI RAWMOMMMIE

OH MY HEART JUST BROKE READING YOUR EMAIL!! I can relate so much I am in OA and have been dairy, meat, and grain free for a longggg time but lately since I have tried to do all raw I have been bindging on avocados and nuts/seeds. If you want feel free to PM me and I can share what great success I have had in OA since I am a food addict and cannot eat with abandon or listen to my body b/c i can eat 24-7 happy sad bored driving whatever. Boundaries work for me along with support:)

Blessings.

[Ariannah]

I'm a recovered bulimic. I can relate to the urge to binge. I was bulimic off and on (mostly on) for nearly 2 decades. When I was not purging, I was bingeing and gained a lot of weight. When I was doing neither, I was eating a very healthy vegan diet (and a foray into a meat/cooked low-carb type of diet). There came a point in my own recovery where the concept of ever bingeing/purging ever again seems so completely foreign that I feel with every fibre of my being that I've never even done it before, and am surprised and appalled that it's in my history. (Just my experience, anyway). Much like how I now don't even view cooked food as food... perspectives have completely changed. I'm like "I used to eat that?" as I passed certain aisles in the grocery store, or the junk at the till.

My approach to recovery from bulimia seems to be different from most. It started with choice and ended with choice. I can't see myself ever being faced with whether or not to purge ever again. It's simply not an option, and not a part of who I am anymore. I'm completely divorced and dissociated from that part of my history. Some can call it denial, but I simply don't even recall bulimia or bingeing until someone else brings it up as a topic.

Even more so now, I have realized that my addiction to foods was really an addiction to non-foods. Now that I am raw, cooked and processed/packaged, irradiated, sprayed, putrid junkstuff doesn't even seem like food to me. I now live in the produce section and the urge to binge or purge is never something that even dawns on me. It's just real food. Being raw (high raw since june, and 100% since End of August) has totally changed my entire perspective and approach to foods.

My theory is that when I feed my body what it needs and give it the fuel on which it was designed to run, then it changes me physically, emotionally, mentally, entirely! That is what raw has done for me.

Now, the urge to overeat avocadoes and nuts will go away eventually. The first month of raw I ate a great deal of them!! I felt I needed to feel filled constantly. However, increasing my intake of greens and fruits has changed that. The chlorophyll in the greens taken in megadoses seems to be an excellent craving suppressor. My body seems to really read correct hunger signals.