A madwoman, your honour. A sad desperate woman at the end of her pitiful rope :)

[areilla10]

Greetings all. I'm not really too sad, desperate or pitiful. I do feel as though I am reaching the end of my rope at times, though. This intro will no doubt be verbose, so proceed at your peril. ;)

My name is Erin. I'm 37 and live in Ontario, Canada. I'm about 50 lbs overweight right now, a current slave to S.A.D., largely inactive, and I have some sort of arthritic condition that flares up whenever it gets the chance. I ache, I am lethargic and depressed, have wild food cravings, and just feel generally awful. Like a saturated sponge. What I'm saturated with I could hardly guess, but I don't think I want to know. In my favour at least, I don't smoke or use drugs recreationally (never have). Although I do like good wine or good scotch every now and then. I'm married with two teenage kids and although everyone is trying on healthier eating habits - my son now eats pounds of steamed broccoli! - we all still eat pretty poorly by the raw foodist's standards.

That end-of-the-rope thing, I've definitely been feeling that lately. It's a tad early, but I think I've hit my mid-life crisis. I suddenly hear my clock ticking louder than it ever has before. Time used to always be plentiful, and I would say, "No worries, I'll figure it out sooner or later." Well. It's later. And I'm starting to realize that time is not in endless supply. I have NOOOO time in my day for enjoyment. Every weekend seems booked with "have-to"s instead of "want-to"s. Ever feel like you've got a ring through your nose and it's tied to Life's back bumper? I just got my driver's license renewed and I am shocked at how much I have aged in a short 5 years. I'm really unhappy with not living my life on-purpose and it needs to change.

I must confess that I tend to be extreme by most people's standards. I can't just exercise a little, I have to set a goal to run a marathon. I can't just watch what I eat, I formulate a 60-day detox plan complete with a 30 day fast. I swear I'm not crazy, and I make sure that I am well-informed before undertaking any such endeavour (including the requisite visit to my family doctor complete with bloodwork, etc). I just don't believe in "trying". "Do. Or do not. There is no try." But the impression upon my family and friends is still the same: there she goes again, getting all extreme about everything.

But what we're doing now is apparently not working. A detox fast last summer showed me that eliminating wheat, dairy (except yogurt), sugar, flesh foods, caffeine (except green/matcha tea) and alcohol, and then a 7-day juice fast, had a profound positive effect on my mood, energy level and general health. And then I went back to eating SAD food. :( I had lost a solid 10lbs during that time (17 1/2 lbs if you include water weight) and I'm back to wearing it again.

I would like to develop a way of eating that will inspire the rest of my family. I'm talking about converting a hardcore meat-and-potatoes-slap-that-cow-on-the-grill guy to a raw food vegan. Talk about your hard sell. I just get labeled as crazy. My kids will likely be a little more willing to try something new...because they're teenagers and are all about novelty. Raw sounds like the way to go, but for now, I'm in the fact-finding stage. My biggest hurdle: I LIKE hot food. Who wants to come in from shoveling snow to eat a bowl of cold fruit puree?? Please! Give me stew! Give me mashed potatoes and meatloaf! Give me butter on top of everything!

Anyway, thanks for reading my mess. Looking forward to learning lots more. Hope to see you all around the board.

Cheers!

[k8sl8]

First and foremost, you already have found that raw is good for you. Do it for YOU. Be a role model and don't ask/beg/plead/threaten any family members to do it "or else". Again: DO IT FOR YOU. You may find that by seeing the improvements in you some or all of your family members will jump on the wagon, at least for a little ride. Even if they add some fresh veggies; this is a good thing. Will you be able to get your guy off the grill??? Maybe not, but he can still be healthier!

DON'T over do. Just DO.

My spouse does NOT like "raw"; he will eat a few of my oatmeal raisin cookies, likes most of my salads, but doesn't like the gourmet things or dressings. He on the other hand is and always has been a very healthy SAD eater, eating lots of fruits and veggies naturally. He doesn't over do anything (which is why he's a very trim 6'4"/195lb. guy) and each of us does what's best for him/herself.

He supports what I do; ocassionally leads me astray (when I choose to be, lol) and all in all I'm a lot healthier than I was a year ago.

I'm still overweight; I still yo-yo somewhat, even on raw... but my blood work, blood pressure, cholesterol numbers are all TOP NOTCH. So what if I could lose 20 or 30 lbs. to be 'thin'!

[areilla10]

Hi k8sl8, thanks for your reply.

You're right, nothing convinces the doubtful like obvious success. Even while I was fasting, which is probably considered the epitome of extreme dietary behaviour, my hubby noticed that after 7 days of not eating any solid food, I was barely missing a beat. Okay, so I would run out of steam a little more quickly doing labour-intensive activities, but I was more or less keeping pace with everyone else. He got curious and started asking questions. That was a huge step. I don't expect him to give up his grill because he's the kind of guy who grew up in a household that didn't believe in all that "hokey stuff" like herbal alternative therapies or energy medicine or anything like that. When you have a headache you take a pill. 3 squares a day of standard meat, starch and a vegetable. When you need to lose weight, you eat more vegetables...maybe some salad, too. When you need to exercise, you get your butt outside to chop wood, go hunting, ride a bike, jog or go on a treadmill. 2 + 2 = 4. Very straighforward kind of guy. I lean toward more...uh...intuitive methods. I really do believe in the law of attraction. If I get my head around it, and I simply envision myself as already thin - and that this weight is on it's way out but just happens to be here right now - I start getting happy. Then I start walking a little taller, feeling more confident, smiling more...this reduces stress. My body relaxes. Cortisol goes down, reducing my appetite and shutting down my fat factory. My frame of mind becomes 'light' and so I eat 'light'. When I'm in this zone, I notice that my weight starts falling off on its own without any effort on my part. And when I do add some effort to the mix, the results are just accelerated. I'm telling you, it's not just new age baloney, your frame of mind has a huge impact on your physical body. I just seem to be stuck in a rut right now, LOL.

So for now, I guess I just need to get all my ducks in a row. I don't want to start until I can commit to it. Like I said, I loathe "trying". To try leaves room to fail. But doing does not. Anyway, many thanks!

[laura-jane]

Haha, yes, you have one of those extreme personality types. I am the same way. :)

Sounds like you're very in tune with what's going on with you, which is a very good thing! On the topic of weekends and scheduling, please please please make a concerted effort to saying "no" to some of those "must-dos." Seriously. Most must-dos are not must-dos if we stop and evaluate them. Also, for every thing we say YES to it means we are saying NO to other things by default. You need time for yourself! And that needs to be scheduled in.

Re: raw foods, you can do this! You are here. That's the first step :)

[areilla10]

Haha, yes, you have one of those extreme personality types. I am the same way. :)

Sounds like you're very in tune with what's going on with you, which is a very good thing! On the topic of weekends and scheduling, please please please make a concerted effort to saying "no" to some of those "must-dos." Seriously. Most must-dos are not must-dos if we stop and evaluate them. Also, for every thing we say YES to it means we are saying NO to other things by default. You need time for yourself! And that needs to be scheduled in.

Re: raw foods, you can do this! You are here. That's the first step :)

Hey laura-jane,

I hear you about setting boundaries. Ultimately I'm responsible for every good or bad thing I have attracted in my life, as well as for how others treat me. It's difficult to say no when my husband has a very type-A personality and makes to-do lists in his sleep. By contrast I appear downright lazy. Cutting back on our responsibilities will require some hard decisions. For example, should we give up our dream house to move closer to work? Doing so gives us back 2 hours that we otherwise waste on commuting every single day...plus our gas money, plus our car repairs... At this point changing jobs just isn't on the table. Should we sell our horses? They're a lot of money and a big time investment...especially considering we don't even ride them. We have a number of things like these that could drastically change our lifestyle for the better, but they require some big decisions. I imagine we'll choose this someday, but now doesn't feel like the right time.

Thank you so much for the encouragement. I can tell it won't be long and I'll be starting a 30-day trial run. Just have to get myself organized.