View Full Version : Living in a mixed household
11-28-2010, 02:07 PM
I've been vegan for about 1.5 years now, and have been struggling with being raw for the last 6 months. The first 2 months that I was able to be all raw, it was amazing! My skin cleared up, eyebags gone, and 25 lbs dropped like nothing. But I can't even remember how I managed to do it. Right now, during the week, I manage to have a raw breakfast and lunch. Only because I don't have my husband to prepare food for during the day. But nights and weekends are a serious challenge. I have 3 kids (6, 5 & almost 2 yrs) and a meat-eating husband. Because I refuse to cook any kind of meat (except very occasionally some seafood), we end up going out to eat a lot just so I don't have to deal with the whining & the husband that feels he didn't eat a satisfying meal that didn't have meat, and everybody can have their own "junk".
I feel it my responsibility to provide nutritious food for my family, but I don't know how to deal with the fact that I'm the only one that thinks it's wrong to kill animals for food primarily for ethical & health reasons. I didn't used to be this way, just over the last 2 years. I also work a lot, so I don't have much time to prepare elaborate meals. My kids will usually eat what I prepare as long as it's cooked, but if they see my husband having something else, they'll want that instead. Nobody's really into any of my raw stuff here, except for the youngest.
This is very stressful for me. Having to eat cooked food triggers a lot of food addictions in me. If you live in a mixed household, how do you do it if you have to be the one preparing the meals?
11-28-2010, 03:40 PM
i have teenagers so need to cook for them and my daughter loves meat, my husband thankfully is raw, what i would suggest is to make sure u have plenty of things made that u can eat some simple but also some sweets i find having sweet stuff in the fridge keeps me focused (sometimes i just have sweets thats the great thing about raw) i have a sweet tooth and its something to look forward to - make things that u like and do what Alissa recommends and eat as much as u need - i tell my kids about meat and white flour etc and have managed to change them from white to whole wheat flour pasta etc but at the end of the day when i was pushing to much they were not listening so now i just tell them the benefits of eating raw and negatives of eating hormone filled meat ,dairy but not all the time otherwise it becomes a war - lead by example i researched raw and told my husband and luckily got him onboard
read as much as u can and enjoy ,good luck x:)
11-28-2010, 06:23 PM
Even though you are against meat, if they it it at a restaurant anyway, you are not saving any animals by not preparing it at home. At least if you make it, you can buy healthier meat and have more control over where the meat your family eats comes from. And you can mange waste better. You can make things with just a little meat and lots of veggies to help get more healthy goodness in them. This way you can make yourself something from your kitchen for dinner instead of trusting a restaurant with making your food. I make dinner for my husband most nights and still manage to eat raw most of the time, with some exceptions. Hope that helps :) It is doable.
11-28-2010, 08:09 PM
We are all vegetarian, but I too have a dietary brady bunch in my household.
My 9 yo son is a cooked vegetarian (lacto ovo), my partner a cooked vegan and myself a raw vegan.
My son is with us for 50% of the time (I have shared care with his dad) and the times he is with us he eats vegan (but doesn't even really notice). I do cook sometimes for him, but over the years he has eaten more and more raw foods, mostly green smoothies, fruits and veg.
A typical week for us means he gets about 2-3 cooked meals a week, one cooked by me, one to two cooked by my partner when he makes his food. The other meals are mainly made up of a 'salad plate' (a plate of veggeis including cucumber, carrot, bell pepper, snow peas, tomatoes, etc.) which also might include some cold marinated tofu (he loves this) and possibly some steamed vegies such as broccoli.
He also drinks green and fruit smoothies, nut milk shakes, and will have some raw desserts, and there's no problem with him eating lots of fruit.
I base his nutrition around green smoothies (with added supplements like spirulina, etc.), with everything else added for taste and texture.
It must be hard for you having been the one that changed, I have been a vegan for ages and my son raised a vegetarian (due to his dad) so at least for me it's only the cooked stuff.
These days the cooked stuff doesn't even raise an eyebrow for me, it used to but not any longer. And the fact that my parter helps out makes a HUGE difference!
Good luck in finding your balance. :)
Raw Angel Mom
11-29-2010, 02:43 PM
I hear you, i so hear you. I have been having problem with killing an animal since a child and i never loved the meat, it just discussed me. Any dead flesh repulses me but i am more then fine with plant foods. Trust me, i don't go near the fridge in the store packed with animal part.
But as i aged, i learned that i had to realize that meat is food to many. Even the beautiful animals that i adores, need meat or fish. Such cats, lions, polar bears, dolphins, whales, etc.... I simply blessed the meat when i feed my cats. There isn't any way that i buy raw meat for them, they can hunt their mice if they want raw meat, lol...
In the ice age, they couldn't grow much vegetables and the old days when it is winter most the time, again, man/woman wouldn't have been able to survive without the hunt.
So even though that i know that meat is poisonnous to most human, i do my best to honor that people see this as food. I refuse to cook meat because i am just too sensitive but when my step children comes, i buy it already cooked. I will sometime, cook fish for them but good heaven, i struggled. I noticed that my life style must inspire many because over the year, a co-worker that was strong in meat, now became vegan just like that. He had health problem after investigating with plant food, he turn around and quite meat/dairy. Also, my step children eat more plant foods now
Your family will come around. You will find what work for you to deal with others eating meat.
Don't be afraid to honor how you feel. If this isn't your thing to cook meat, then say so and just prepare your food, if they are hungry, they can make their own or go in a restaurant or simply eat your food. This is what i have done when i first went vegetarian. When my family comes to visit, they are open to eat vegan food now, they actualy love that and eat also more plant food. I didn't do anything to pressure them, they came around on their own.
p.s To deal with the addiction, eat something before making the cook food. It is a great practice of self control when you are exposed to the food that tend you, the craving will go away. 40 days of 100% raw food, will do that for you.
12-01-2010, 03:21 PM
I started off as a raw + (occaisonal/healthy) meat. I graduated to a raw vegan ( got my diploma and everything).
My health improved dramatically and it continues to be awesome.
I too live in a mixed household. My inlaws live with me (and are Cuban). Their diet was attrocious. My mother in-law had high cholesterol and was on 3 medications for her diabetes. Her father was a carnivore, eating anything that moved.
When my wife and I first started, we heard nothing but "blah blah blah. How can you eat like that? You eat like a bunny! I have to have meat... i just do. It's my culture...etc etc. "
After 2 months of us going raw, her entire family are BEGGING for our secret. "You look younger" they say "you've lost sooo much weight" (combined my wife and I have lost a total of 160lbs) "you have so much energy now"
Results speak. Now my inlaws, though they still eat the occasional meat have converted to about 80% raw. My mother in-law's cholestrol has come down almost 200 points and she is off two of her diabetes drugs (in just a month). She now tells everyone about this wonderful diet.
Perhaps the fam should start being less mixed and eat more like you. :)
just my two cents... well.. i guess it's really three cents.
12-01-2010, 06:08 PM
Holy cow maintime, thats some PROGRESS!
Go you! Really impressed. :)
My partner knows all about the benefits of raw, he did 100% raw for a period of two months with me on holiday and felt massive benefits. But he went back to his cooked crappy vegan ways and has now put on weight, is getting regularly sick and tired and lacks energy. He knows it's useless to complain to me about it as he knows what my answer will be.
The trouble is, I'm so used to preparing meals for just myself that I simply forget to offer him stuff, but now it's almost the holidays and I'll have lots of time, I think I might start up sharing meals again to help him out.
12-01-2010, 06:27 PM
oops, double post!
12-01-2010, 07:08 PM
I have a hubby who says he should go raw --but won't give up his meat or sweets. I make the veggie and potato type thing for him for dinner and he does the meat. He takes care of his breakfast and usually eats a salad for lunch and some meaty thing. THe times I am finding this hard--not with the meat--I could care less about them--is when I don't have enough food around. I just have to make sure I have plenty of my own food.
12-02-2010, 08:10 AM
A sneaky way to do it is make it more convenient for them. Case in point, my father in law would always have eggs, bacon etc for breakfast. I started making extra smoothie and leaving it for him in the fridge. Now every morning he drinks the smoothie instead. :)
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