trying and failing

[runningupstairs]

Hi everyone,

I have been trying to get to 100% raw for about a year now. I was there during the summer, but it only lasted for about a month. Honestly, I felt and looked great. Well, the nice summer fruit went out of season and I went back to eating about 50/50. Most of the time my diet is healthy/vegan and working toward 100% raw, but lately...well, it hasn't been good. Basically, I have been treating my body like a wastebasket. It's horrible I know, but I can't stop. I need help. I just feel like I can't do it emotionally. I feel so isolated, obsessed with food and I think I was addicted to sugar...I really want to do this, but maybe I am not strong enough. Anyways, I have been binging so badly the last 2 days. I don't even want to know the calories or what was in it. I hate it. I hate it. I don't throw up or anything so I have gained weight. I don't know. I hope I'm allowed to say this on the board. I can't afford a lot of the expensive ingredients and tools to make the food on here, but honestly, I can afford fruits and vegetables. I live in a country where organic food is not really available and if it is it is out of my budget. I don't really know why I'm writing this. I just kind of want to introduce myself and hear from some other people who felt this way when they were getting started.

Thanks!

[klomasius]

Firstly, take a deep breath, now let it out... and relax. :)

Secondly, welcome to the forum! Hope you find lots of info, support and friendly people here. :D

What are you failing at exactly? Seems to me you've just taken a break from succeeding.

Forget all the fancy ingredients and equipment, they're nice to have for variety but in no way necessary, fruit and veg are all that's needed. Can't afford organic? No problems, just do raw with conventional! If there's fruit/veg that is organic that you can afford, then you could supplement your foods with these.

Try not to worry about being at your destination, try to celebrate your journey. It will be dotted with setbacks, I've never met a perfect human being, have you? How long have you been doing this raw thing? It took me 4 years to get to 100%, and in those 4 years I had 'setbacks', I just notched it up to experience!

Expecting to be perfect at raw when you've just started is like picking up a violin and expecting to be an accomplished violinist immediately. LOL!

I'm sure with time it will get better and better. :)

[PammieTaj]

Two things are really helping me right now.

One is removing myself from the idea of perfection. Once I let go of the idea that I need to be 100%, 100% of the time, I actually started doing it most of the time. At this point maybe once a week I have something cooked and vegan, but even that is becoming less appealing.

The second thing is that when I am offered something that is cooked and/or not particularly in keeping with my goals, I tell myself it's not food and politely decline the offer. This is coming up a lot now that we are in the holiday season. I'm also "programming" my brain by telling myself when I see something at a store, or drive past a former favorite restaurant, or even see something my husband has in the house that it's just not food. My body doesn't recognize it as food and I don't recognize it as food.

All of it is an ongoing process.

[blizzardfrisbee]

First, welcome to the forum! This is the perfect place to share your feelings and reach out for support. Second, you can do this!

I have been raw for 3 months now. I did eat some cooked food--veggies and potatoes over a month ago and found I didn't enjoy it. I have in my brain that I am allowing myself liberties but am finding that I am not taking the liberties of eating cooked. The cooked food is becoming less and less appealing and the raw is more and more appealing.

I, too am "programming" my brain--body and myself that the cooked food isn't food!

I am finding it is a journey and I am constantly learning.

You have our support here on this forum!!

[AdrianaH]

Hello runningupstairs...

If you really want this You will succeed. I'm fairly new to this as well, even more than you. I started my Raw food journey the 22nd of October, I was doing good but on the 14th, and 15th of November I went to my Grandmas house ans I messed up. On the 16th on November I Continued with My Raw Food eating and I'm still doing it. What I'm trying to say is; Don't let a bad step mess up your journey.

Like you, I don't have any expensive kitchen tools... What I have is a cheap blender and a plastic orange juicer and can't afford any of the Raw seeds and nut... but I've managed to keep it up. I also don't have a access to Organic foods, so I just buy any Fruits and Vegetables available to me... ;)

My experience has been great and I know your can be too. Enjoy the Ride, relax and take one step at a time... :D

[vexvelour]

Hey! I'm new at this too and living with a boyfriend who wants nothing to do with raw, I completely understand how hard it can be at times.

For example, last Friday he made a big batch of chicken parm, a favorite of mine in the 'before time'. I got home and the aroma hit me and I HAD to have a little bit! This was the first cooked thing I'd had in weeks and the first meat in over a month, but I told myself it would be a special treat.

Boy was I wrong. It was bland, oily and the texture of the meat really grossed me out. All day Saturday I felt like I had a hangover, I couldn't think clearly and my energy was down the tubes.

This 'hangover' as I call it happens almost every time I eat a cooked meal, meat or no meat, to different degrees. I feel like I'm conditioning my mind- I eat cooked, I feel like crap, I go back to raw... rinse and repeat. I'm at the stage now where cooked foods seem less and less appealing because of this conditioning- I KNOW I'm going to feel like crap, so it's easier to pass on the things I shouldn't be eating. It's a long process and like someone else said, no one is perfect, so cut yourself some slack and try to learn from everything. Good luck!

[Conscious Midwife]

{{{{Hang in there, stay the course, never ever give up, nothing beats a failure but a try, nothing to it but to do it}}}}

I've been at this for more than 4 years and have only had a modicum of success as it relates to consistent RAW intake. Not even sure if the intent was ever to be 100% for a lifetime but I believe in the benefits enough to want to keep trying and to keep setting goals for varying tiem frames for total RAW only consumption. Sometiems it's 1/2 a day sometimes weeks.

I keep hanging around because of the vibration I feel here and the support and connection that comes in all those other area that RAW seems to illuminate. I'll get there one day, confident of that, not sure when but I will experience RAWsucess and you will too!:D

[Stella Green]

Dear Runningupstairs,

Welcome to the forum! I know firsthand how weird and alone it feels when you first start going raw...especially when everyone around is eating all kinds of SAD stuff. Two things to note:

1. Make sure you just relax and enjoy the holidays. It's really no big deal if you have cooked stuff, because it's *good* food if made with love. Remember that the worst thing you can do to your body, even worse than eating unhealthy, is stress. So just take some deep breaths and give yourself a mantra like, I enjoy life and life enjoys me. Also, laugh and tell jokes with your family! Ain't nothing healthier than a smile!

2. Remember that your raw diet should change as the seasons change. In summer, your body craves fruits, but as the weather gets colder, pay attention to what your body wants. Probably your body will want denser foods like mushrooms and butternut squash. Oh and look for what is in season for inspiration--right now, I am enjoying figs and persimmons! Mmmm, I love persimmons! Anyway, gear up for your raw journey by making sure you have plenty of recipes that have a autumn/winter flavor to them--cinnamon dishes are especially wonderful.

You'll probably have lots of questions while going raw...note that you can come here whenever you like and know we're all in this together.

Cheers, Stella

[runningupstairs]

Thank you everyone! I am trying to enjoy the jouney, but sometimes I think I am going in circles and I know what is best for me, but I don't do it. I sabotage myself. I feel that I am going through a strange time in my life and it is very difficult for me not to calm my emotions with food. I am a perfectionist, but I also have a lot of anxiety and stress right now and I feel I want to eat the 'comfort foods' even though they actually make me uncomfortable. I eat raw for a few days and I feel very good, but I also feel very cold. I don't know why. I am glad to be here. Really, I just need to talk to other people who are doing this because I know some people have had a lot of success.

[seria]

hi i had similar issues of going back to sad alot of emotinal stuff was coming up that i was trying to bury with food maybe look at what is bothering you and try and deal with it - also i have found i am not spending much more on raw i try and buy organic as much as i can check out the website gone raw 4 recipes that dont require specialist stuff and go easy on yourelf we all find our way in our own time x

[Stella Green]

Here are a couple of things that helped my emotional eating:

1. You have Alissa Cohen's book, right? Get Living on Live Food right away...it's totally worth it and will really help you dig in with some good eats. Also, it will help clear up all the confusion.

2. oranges! I belong to the camp that says you should enjoy lots and lots of fruit every day. I turn to oranges when I'm in the mood for a snack--they are such a cheery fruit, and quite incredible if you think about it, the way they are pre-sliced for your convenience. Now I am a peeling machine.

3. Breath and water. 2 life essentials we forget about sometimes! You can't forget about breathing, but I mean deep breathing. When you are feeling stressed and want to reach for junk food, stop and take at least five looooong, deep breaths and think calm thoughts. Then continue thinking calm thoughts while drinking a large glass of water.

4. A head massage! Someone on this forum suggested this to me--just rubbing your fingers through your scalp for a little while and saying something positive to yourself while doing it. It works for me!

5. Journal/blogging. Your raw journey will definitely have its ups and downs, and its helps to write out your feelings. Note the blog option on this forum or get yourself a pretty journal and write away...

Happy Thanksgiving!

[Raw Angel Mom]

Hey, do you realize that during all that time, you have always made room for some good stuff. Celebrate and be proud of you.

Don't worry about being perfect with your diet, just know that in time, it will just click and you will do it.

Continue to eat as much fresh and alive food you can.

You will find great support here, post as much as you want. We will be there for you.

Be proud of your accomplishment. Every little steps that you do for you, it COUNTS, lol....

Congratulations on your journey!

[runningupstairs]

Thanks for your help everyone. Since I made that post, my days have been 85-100% raw. Yay! I feel better already. Yesterday I was guilted into eating a piece a cake for someone's birthday....it didn't really make me feel bad or anything, but it just wasn't good. I don't want it anymore. Best of all, that cake didn't cause me to binge like before. I'm on my way....

[klomasius]

Brilliant! Sounds like you are doing fantastically. :)

Not wanting the cake and not binging after eating it is an important step toward reaching stability. GO YOU!

[beckyh]

runningupstairs,
I am new to raw also, about 1 month. I am not 100% yet, some days I am and other days I am not. On those days I try to eat healthy and vegan. This is the first winter for me going raw, so I am used to eating warm comfort food, so I am trying to do this with soups. I saw a post on here that said to heat your bowl up first and this does help. Sometimes I leave my blender on longer to "warm" up the soup. I have to still cook food for my family, and that has been a struggle for me, but I am begining to tell myself that this isn't the food for me, and sometimes I will drink a smoothie, or a juice while I am cooking their food.

Continue on your journey, and make mistakes and learn from them and enjoy them. This forum is the best! I love it!!

[raspberryswirl]

Two things are really helping me right now.

One is removing myself from the idea of perfection. Once I let go of the idea that I need to be 100%, 100% of the time, I actually started doing it most of the time. At this point maybe once a week I have something cooked and vegan, but even that is becoming less appealing.

The second thing is that when I am offered something that is cooked and/or not particularly in keeping with my goals, I tell myself it's not food and politely decline the offer.

All of it is an ongoing process.

This is really helpful and a great way to look at this. Thank you so much.