What to do with my hubby???

[Estelle]

He says he wants to "get healthy," but he is hanging onto his SAD for dear life while at the same time trying every green smoothie I make (except for my breakfast today, which I selfishly hogged). He's doing to me what he's done every other time I've tried to "diet" - eating my "diet food" and his SAD at the same time.

He knows that I'm reading a lot about nutrition and that I'm beginning to eat raw. He knows how much it means to me to reclaim my health. I've told him that he doesn't have to give up cooked food and he doesn't even have to go completely vegan. This is just something that I need to do for me. But it is so hard to watch him guzzle down a green smoothie and then follow it up with junk.

How and what do I do with this silly man?!

[sport]

Take your time. The fact that he is having the green smoothie is a step in the right direction.
"You can take a horse to water but you can't make him drink"
Show good example and stay away from his sad breakfast. Your good health will bring him around.

[Stella Green]

No matter your diet, a green smoothie is good for you. Make enough for him AND you and be happy he's got some greens in him. He may never go 100% raw, but eating healthy food always has its advantages. At least he isn't vetoing the whole thing. Also, have you made him any raw desserts yet? That's what helped my boyfriend see the light...especially the apple pie!!

[blizzardfrisbee]

Mine sounds like yours-- eating some of the raw food I make--having raw veggies at night too but then eating the sugar desserts, meat and other SAD stuff. What to do??? I think he is seeing the changes in me-namely the energy I have! Maybe yours and mine both will see the benefits and then change to all RAW.

[RawkinM]

I think it was a video I was watching once with a raw food coach - when she would consult people on eating healthier and they weren't ready to give up SAD, she would tell them to eat a whole green smoothie or salad first, wait 20 minutes then eat as much as they wanted of their SAD food. After a while, they ate SAD less and less until they just went raw.

The fact that your hubby is even thinking about going against the grain of SAD thinking and having a green smoothie is a big step!

In my research it sometimes takes good nutrition to change lifestyle patterns, so maybe this will help him with that.

Supporting and celebrating his little victories will likely help him to transition easier too. It's a process and for some has to be done gradually.

Blessings and healing to you two!

[Estelle]

That's what I was thinking. He absolutely LOVES the green smoothies I've made with kale and blueberries.

Earlier tonight, he was looking at some recipe sites, and he came across some raw recipes. He was asking all kinds of good questions about them. I think he is interested, at least. I just would like for him to stop offering me SAD stuff though. Makes it really hard for me.

I haven't made anything yet other than smoothies and salads, as I don't have much in the way of recipes yet. I'm really just beginning this way of eating.

[Tguch]

Hi! There is a free online event starting on Oct. 10 called Raw Mom Cooked Dad which looks amazing and is perfectly addressing your issue!

http://www.rawmom.com/rawmomcookeddad/congratulations

There are interviews with 45 people -- including Alissa, David Wolfe, etc. addressing this issue.

[Estelle]

Oh, yeah! I signed up for that, and I'm really looking forward to it!

[Shels]

If I were in your shoes I'd just be glad he was trying a smoothie! I don't think my fiance will ever veer away from his steak and potatoes, let alone towards something green.
Do not discourage him from this!

[rawmom2006]

I know how hard it can be to watch someone you love eat crap. But until he is really ready then there is really nothing you can do. Maybe buy less sad food and more healthy options in the house.
My hubby eats crap and never did become a vegetarian or vegan, but over the years he has cut down and now he wants to lose weight so he is trying to eat healthier. I try not to bring junk into the house but that is about all I can do.
At least he likes your green smoothies and maybe over time he will start eating healthier. :)

[Eva]

Be an Example.

And have tasty stuff around.

He'll probably come around. Heck, my Brazilian + Italian, BBQ + Pasta man is trying 100% raw without being pushed. But I've been raw for close to 4 years now. So it's kinda not been an overnight thing.

But it's all good!

[loofah]

Maybe once he sees how it will improve your health and liveliness, he will give it a shot. :D

[BlackKat]

If I were in your shoes I'd just be glad he was trying a smoothie! I don't think my fiance will ever veer away from his steak and potatoes, let alone towards something green.
Do not discourage him from this!

Well said. My boyfriend wouldn't even try the salad at my cousin's wedding. It was a beautiful and delicious salad. He's a steak and potatoes kind of guy too. Any nice restaurant we used to go to, always a burger. He's in such poor health too.

Just be glad that he's trying the stuff you're making and seems interested. And as for offering you SAD food. Tell him to go away when he's eating that crap. He should respect your decision to do this for yourself whether or not he is participating or not.

[Basenjimamma]

My hubby is far from healthy as well..but he does drink a green smoothie every morning with me and often I hear him stop at lunch and go grab some bananas and raw almonds rather than eating out. He also loves Alissa's kalesalad, the burrito, and the lasagna, the carrotcake,, blueberry pie and on and on....just make food for you and offer him tastes, eventually he might come around..or why don't you offer him a challenge to go all raw with you for a weekend or something like that to see how much you both will like it?

[ArcturusXIV]

If you love him, don't change him.

[Tenuviel]

wow! you are lucky lol.... my fiancee's most common phrase nowadays is... "why do i always have to try stuff?" I always make him take the first sip of my green smoothie, and love the expression he makes when he puts the straw up to his lips, it's hilarious! ALthough, i totally understand where you are coming from, as when I have delicious fruits all around, especially after I've done the work cutting up melon,etc. then all of a sudden my meal becomes his after dinner dessert. It's like, hey! this is my dinner! i need these calories lol.


you'll just have to make the smoothies so filling, that there'll be minimum room left for sad food in his belly!

[Shels]

If you love him, don't change him.

Thisssss.
This is very important to remember, but I don't think it applies to unhealthy lifestyles very much. I hate seeing people I love poison themselves day after day.

[Estelle]

While I do love him just the way he is, I can't just sit by and watch him neglect his health.

We went into Dallas the other day for me to have some blood work done, and we stopped at Whole Foods afterwards. They have a nice raw food section in the deli, and I headed there first. DH wound up asking most of the questions about the food and - get this - he wanted to get raw lasagna for our lunch! We had that and raw brownies for dessert. HE LOVED IT!!!

I'm on a mission now to find a recipe so that I can duplicate what we had. It was awesome!

I think that he will be open to trying more raw foods if I prepare them for us.

Oh, and this morning, he surpised me by waking me up and handing me a freshly-made smoothie!

[ArcturusXIV]

The problem is, you'll drive him crazy if you try to change him. Just like I had a Christian mother who tried to change me, and it drove me AWAY from Christianity. You're going to have someone who hates raw food on your hands if he starts resenting you, and I don't mean that as a minor inconvenience, he not only won't go raw, he'll start imposing cooked food on you if you start imposing raw food on him! YIKES. Love is "Let it be." I like that better! If you can't handle it, don't, but free will dictates he has the right to do what he choose, unhealthy or not, and you cannot correct or control him, except by example. As Victoria Boutenko said, just keep smiling! And ask him if he wants a green smoothie one day. Otherwise, you'll get him so off track he'll NEVER come back, or WANT to.

[Seductive Arts]

He says he wants to "get healthy," but he is hanging onto his SAD for dear life while at the same time trying every green smoothie I make (except for my breakfast today, which I selfishly hogged). He's doing to me what he's done every other time I've tried to "diet" - eating my "diet food" and his SAD at the same time.

He knows that I'm reading a lot about nutrition and that I'm beginning to eat raw. He knows how much it means to me to reclaim my health. I've told him that he doesn't have to give up cooked food and he doesn't even have to go completely vegan. This is just something that I need to do for me. But it is so hard to watch him guzzle down a green smoothie and then follow it up with junk.

How and what do I do with this silly man?!

Be grateful that he is having a green smoothie. That is far better than him guzzling down junk while having no smoothie at all.

A start is a start. You can't control how fast or slow people evolve with their health. Most people can't start a new diet cold turkey.

[melly]

I know that whenever I start to eat healthier foods in my diet, I crave the junky ones less. It's really awesome that your husband is willing to try so many raw foods, and is even showing curiosity about them. I think you're doing the right thing, keep giving him the green smoothies, and trying to make him some delicious raw dishes at home. He may take a long time to start eating more raw, or he may never BUT at least he is getting some highly nutritious foods into him which is way better than none. He may start to lose the appeal for SAD foods once he incorporates more raw and can physically notice a difference in his energy levels. Also, I've noticed that people don't like to be "left behind"... once he sees how healthy you look and feel, and how much you're enjoying your raw meals, he may try to hop on board too.

[Seductive Arts]

I know that whenever I start to eat healthier foods in my diet, I crave the junky ones less. It's really awesome that your husband is willing to try so many raw foods, and is even showing curiosity about them. I think you're doing the right thing, keep giving him the green smoothies, and trying to make him some delicious raw dishes at home. He may take a long time to start eating more raw, or he may never BUT at least he is getting some highly nutritious foods into him which is way better than none. He may start to lose the appeal for SAD foods once he incorporates more raw and can physically notice a difference in his energy levels. Also, I've noticed that people don't like to be "left behind"... once he sees how healthy you look and feel, and how much you're enjoying your raw meals, he may try to hop on board too.

Yup, at least he is consuming smoothies. I can't get my grandmother to even make a smoothie, because she said she has no desire to use a blender. And the smoothie is the only way for her to be raw, because she said that she is getting old and is tired and doesn't want to cook like she use to. I can understand since she is in her mid-80s. But part of this is laziness. How much effort is dumping food in a blender and washing it out? She evens has a juicer she doesn't even use! Because she claims she hates washing it out. Yet when she cooks...she washes dishes?! I just don't get it.

I even offered to make her smoothies. She says "nope". Plus I offered to buy those healthy Bolthouse, or Walla Walla juices. Yes, I know it is lightly pastueurized and not raw, but something is better than nothing. She says, "I won't drink my food. I can get enough nutrients from just eating. It doesn't have to be in a juice." But her behind keeps complaining how tired she is and she doesn't have any energy, while she keeps buying processed meats because fixing a bologna or hot dog is quicker than cooking. Or she keeps buying those cheap a$$ cookies from the dollar store that has as much nutrients as an ant.

So if your love one is enjoying some raw foods, be grateful, because some people will refuse to even try raw just a little bit, even though they have heard that having fresh fruits and veggies is good for them. And they know it is good for them.

[Estelle]

The problem is, you'll drive him crazy if you try to change him. Just like I had a Christian mother who tried to change me, and it drove me AWAY from Christianity. You're going to have someone who hates raw food on your hands if he starts resenting you, and I don't mean that as a minor inconvenience, he not only won't go raw, he'll start imposing cooked food on you if you start imposing raw food on him! YIKES. Love is "Let it be." I like that better! If you can't handle it, don't, but free will dictates he has the right to do what he choose, unhealthy or not, and you cannot correct or control him, except by example. As Victoria Boutenko said, just keep smiling! And ask him if he wants a green smoothie one day. Otherwise, you'll get him so off track he'll NEVER come back, or WANT to.

I stated in my OP and again in my later reply that he DOES drink green smoothies with me. He also ate a raw meal (his suggestion) when we were at Whole Foods last.

Did you read my posts?

[ArcturusXIV]

Yes, I did, and I suggested you lead by example. Most people's husbands or wives will go raw AFTER they do and they start seeing results from that person. Nagging will not cut it! He will cut you off, resent the treatment, and stop eating raw ever again. Probably forever!

[freespirit]

I owuld try to figure out what raw food he likes and keep loads of it around. My guy loves fruit so I have A LOT of fruit in my house. im lucky that he likes eating raw.
Maybe makes comments after you eat about how good you feel.

[Raw Angel Mom]

This is just something that I need to do for me. But it is so hard to watch him guzzle down a green smoothie and then follow it up with junk.


Wow, he is making room for the good stuff. Who cares what he eats afterward, at least, he is eating the green smoothie. What it does, is that it prepares his instestine and it makes it easier to digest the other food choice he makes.

Don't worry and be happy that he is willing to do this. Plus if he eats good food, he will have LESS room for the other stuff. THIS is truly all good.

Make him the good food too and again, please don't worry about the rest. In time, he will give up on his own some of the other not so good food.

[Raw,Raw,RawGal]

I guess it's good that he is interested in trying smoothies. Mine won't lol

[Estelle]

Yes, I did, and I suggested you lead by example. Most people's husbands or wives will go raw AFTER they do and they start seeing results from that person. Nagging will not cut it! He will cut you off, resent the treatment, and stop eating raw ever again. Probably forever!

Where do you get that I'm nagging him? I am not nagging him.

[RawHorizons]

I have pretty much took over the kitchen in my place,My fiance has one top shelf in a cabinet.In the fridge he has a compartment on the door.Produce aint cheap and Im not beggin no one to eat my food,from time to time if I made too big of a smoothie he will drink the rest,an he will eat a few recipes here an there.I know its crazy to watch em swig a smoothie then follow it a few hours later with a double quarter pounder lol But I figure at least he is gettin some greens,maybe it will help push that sad food out a lil faster.

Also,maybe throw in some subtle facts here and there about food you use to eat,that maybe you use to enjoy together that he is still eating.(I.E.)Like i'm glad I quit eating red meat it takes 3 days to pass through the Intestinal track,I feel so much lighter since I quit eating it.You'd be suprised on what they pick up over time-even when you think they are not listeing :) .I'ts good they know how,or why things effect our bodies,I'm just learning raw foods too.He will come around or hopefully at least curb his sad diet,but until he does focus on you..

Wishing you all the best!!!!

[ArcturusXIV]

I guess the point everyone's making is that the MORE greens you shove down him, the less room he'll have for OTHER NASTY stuff!

Also, you said you "needed him to change" near the beginning of your message. A need is a want. You should accept each other just as you are! Read Raw Family by Victoria Boutenko, and read some of the inspirational stories behind that... Several people only see their nieces, nephews, et cetera, transition after they make the change themselves!! And the relatives start seeing results. You are doing this for you! But at the same time, you are doing this for your family!!

[Raw Angel Mom]

While I do love him just the way he is, I can't just sit by and watch him neglect his health.

We went into Dallas the other day for me to have some blood work done, and we stopped at Whole Foods afterwards. They have a nice raw food section in the deli, and I headed there first. DH wound up asking most of the questions about the food and - get this - he wanted to get raw lasagna for our lunch! We had that and raw brownies for dessert. HE LOVED IT!!!

I'm on a mission now to find a recipe so that I can duplicate what we had. It was awesome!

I think that he will be open to trying more raw foods if I prepare them for us.

Oh, and this morning, he surpised me by waking me up and handing me a freshly-made smoothie!


So sweet, i am so happy for you. Way to go. Enjoy this journey with him.