Going it alone

[swiddweas]

Raw food eating is hard when the rest of the family is eating SAD.

Although I have some incredible support at home , for the most part I am going this raw food adventure alone. The hardest thing about this is that I still want to cook for my DH and family because this is what they like and want to eat and I want to do it because I don't want them permanently turned off at the potentiality of going raw in the future. See what I mean?
JUst the idea of going back to a 100 percent SAD diet upsets me, but I love to cook this way for them. And somettimes it is so tempting to take a taste while cooking or baking...so would I still be raw doing so?? I have no intention on insisting that they eat all raw because I love them and know that doing so is wrong as they aren't ready for that kind of change yet. I am concerned about them and their heatlh and feel guilty cooking the SAD diet every now and then because I know in my heart raw is so much better. :)
I have offered my raw food alternatives, but they just cringe at some of the dishes, however, not all of them. The only raw foods my family REALLY likes so far is the Chili, which they love as a salsa. Can't feed them salsa all the time. I haven't really tried any really successful raw food on them yet. Occasionally, DH will ask what I am eating and then he will want it,too. However this isn't so everytime. So, I have started cooking lighter and healthier, but still, I know raw is so benificial, I want my family to come up to the same plane I am in, do you know what I mean? Has anyone else experianced similar things?

Any ideas, please?


Patty

[Gosia]

I managed to convert my children to high-raw diet, and this happened gradually. Some of the tricks I used was displaying yummy fruit in places where my children can reach them. I introduced them to smoothies (which was an instant hit) and ice-cream (no problem either). Also, they love sweet balls made from dried fruit and nuts. So, as far as children, my suggestion is that you make yummy things, and they will not refuse. How could anyone? :)

I gathered some tips on children and raw at:
http://www.rawgosia.com/tips/tips.html

My husband switched to raw, because he saw the positive changes in me. Also, showing him the article about mucoid plaque (http://www.cleanse.net/mucoid_plaque.HTM) was the breakthrough point.

I believe that being pushy about my wonderful diet would not work. But, being a good (and smiling) example did.

All the best,
Gosia.

[TimmyC]

What Gosia said!!


My family wasn't following me nearly a month ago. Today my wife tells me that she's going to do it! I couldn't believe it.

How did this happen? I didn't put any pressure on her...and she's seen my results...both from losing weight, and feeling like I'm the most positive person on the planet.

The kids are next...it'll happen for them...I believe in leadership by example, and I'm sure they'll follow, but I will not force them as it will turn them off completely.

Keep the faith, and it will come Patty.

Tim

[kel]

My dh is meat and potatoes, I however have been veggie for 26 years (15 years more than I have been married) He has gradually warmed up to the higher fiber, but has not converted to veggie yet. I have introduced him to a lot of stuff he would not have tried otherwise, although he still wrinkles up his nose at a lot of stuff that he shouldn't do that to. My kids sit on the fence to being veggies or carnivours. Their diet is probably 50 raw /50 other, my daughter more raw than my son.
I do on occasion cook dead animals, but I am not very good at it and dh usually comes and rescues his dinner from me. 90% of the time however I make a raw meal and he does a meat dish for himself and I share my raw dish with the rest of the family. We all sit down together and share the time, just not all the dishes.

:) I believe it is my job to offer nutritional options for my kids, and they get to the choice of to eat it or not. Something that I don't want them eating, I shouldn't give them. :rolleyes: But I am only their mom, and their dad thinks differently and I have to respect that (not alot of respect only a bit) :rolleyes:

[RawTruth]

Patty,

I don't know what equipment you have, but there are some really yummy dishes that you can make that many non-raw people enjoy. I also don't know what raw food recipes you've made for them, so maybe my suggestions won't be helpful ... but, it just seems that making delicious, tasty food is the way to win people over to eating raw. After all, we know that raw tastes great, but they need to be convinced ... not by words (as someone has already wisely said), but by the food.

First, is the calzone. I can't recommend this highly enough. I had never actually tried making it -- I was put off by what seemed by a lot of work and what I thought was a complicated recipe. However, I watched Alissa make it this past weekend and, a day later, ate the results and it was fabulous! It is not at all hard to make ... it just needs to be made a day or so before you're actually going to eat it, so it requires advance planning. But ... it's simple and it is satisying in a cooked food way, if you know what I mean.

Another one is the enchiladas. Especially if you have the onion dip on hand to dollop on if anyone wants.

Of course, if your family doesn't usually eat Italian or Mexican food, these may be rather foreign to them (pun unintended but fun anyway!).

Also, dips are a good way to hook in non-raw eaters to eating healthy raw & live foods. A couple of dips, plenty of flax crackers, and veggie sticks can fill everyone up, especially with a big salad added with a yummy dressing.

Speaking of salads, do your kids like them? Will they eat them with raw dressings?

[Live Free]

I know exactly how you feel. I am often fighting my husband to enable me to be high raw. I told my raw friends that I have to have superhero will power to avoid the stuff that he brings into this house.

Which isnt fair, but I dont have a choice. I just have to keep strong and not eat the junk.

BTW, I asked him the other day if he felt like I wasnt feeding my child properly? He said, he didnt know. Therefore, he just keeps on feeding her foods that I dont approve of. He thinks that she needs to put on weight.

I told him that being fat or fatter doesnt mean she is healthier. I often feel like I am beating my head against the wall to keep the bad foods out of her system. She is addicted to the bad foods and she is only 2 years old.

My husband eats a combination of fast foods, and Vietnamese foods. I dont have to cook for him, I never have. So that part of it I am off the hook. when I do make him something, he wont eat it. I made him some grape leaves last week, because I was worried that if I made some just for me he would be annnoyed. I had the throw the whole thing away because he didnt eat them.

My husbands philosophy on food is, if its food then you can eat it. Which he means if it is meat(even if the meat is rare, wild or exotic) or a starch you can eat it. He doesnt mean eating raw foods at all. He wont try any of the recipes that I have made. Even if they are to die for.

It makes me just want to scream.

Teresa and Mae
Live Free

[Kris]

I agree with all of the above.

I have been trying to "go it alone" for months, and now that my husband has finally joined me in this adventure, it has gotten so much easier and more fun. I think what got him interested was trying raw dishes that were delicious and even truly decadent (like chocolate mousse pie and Alissa's famous date nut torte topped with berries and yummy raw fudge balls). I think he realized that raw doesn't have to be about deprivation, and one can still enjoy food while living this way.

Also, I made sure to keep him posted on how great I was feeling, and what changes I had been noticing for myself. I didn't do this to try to persuade or convert him by any means -- just sharing with my hubby. But I think, after a while, all those little things added up to a little spark of interest. And now it's so good to have him with me. He said that he "supported" me before, and I know he tried his best to do so, but there's nothing like having your partner on board with you.

Just keep trying and be a healthy, vibrant example for the people you love. THey might surprise you! Wishing you the very best.

[rawpriestess]

since, I have inadvertantly converted my SAD, meat eating hubby into a 95% rawbie, I will share what I did.

First, I made it 100% okay for him to eat anything he wanted. Then I was totally honest with him about how I felt about smelling dead animal flesh burning in the house. so, he moved a microwave, coffee pot, stove etc into the garage, and he cooks out there.

I still cooked vegetarian food for him alot, like pastas, spaghetti, salads, desserts ice creams etc.

The way I did it was this, I made him terrific meals that were vegetarian, like veggie lasagna, but I used zucchini as the noodles, and marinara as the sauce, nut cheeses as the cheese, and I warmed them in the oven, once he started eating those, it was only a matter of time, before, I moved them to the dehydrator.

I also made lots of fresh veggies, warmed in the dehydrator, with great sauces, all raw, and just made them available to him.

he used to love roasted and salty nuts. so I bought all kinds of raw nuts, and had them available with honey, nama shoyu, dehydrated, and still raw, they were always available to him.

I made gorp every night, nuts, banana chips, raisins, dates, etc. he would snack on this.

I also made sure that we always had tons of almond milk around, and if he wanted it, I would make him an almond milkshake, or an eggnog, with some spices, but no egg, and some brandy, if he wanted.

All of the desserts were raw, nuts and dates, fruits etc. I made tons of tasty foods, I just would warm them for him or make them all raw.

some things he loved, and some he didn't like, just like with cooked food.

If he wanted mashed potatoes and gravy, I made it for him all vegan, but I did use cooked potatoes etc. I would just make a small portion, and make a ton of fresh warmed raw corn too.

If I made a pasta dish. I'd use 1/2 pasta cooked, and 1/2 sliced zucchini raw, with a delicious raw sauce.

sometimes, he'd want cheese, so I'd make a big huge raw salad, with some shredded cheese(real) on top, but a raw dressing, and tons of raw veggies.

You see, it isn't about converting him, it is about offering fresh, ripe, raw produce and snacks, and being okay with his choices. You see, he loves to prepare foods with me,and we do that together, so he knows whats going into the food, so I just act like that is the ONLY way to make food, and he accepts it.

Every once in a great while, he'll eat a burger, and then he has a headache, so now, he hardly ever eats away from home, each day is a wonderful beginning and awakening to eating something fun fresh and raw.

When ever anyone eats at our house, they know it will be raw vegan, unless they bring their own food.

Just like, when I go to a friend's home, I know it probably will be cooked, so I bring my own food.

It's really simple, and easy to have wonderful conversations, and great company, we just eat different things.

I am not tempted by their dead food, but they are always tempted by my raw food, so I bring plenty.

You see, I feel it is my duty to take care of myself first, then take care of my family second, and it doesn't make sense to me to feed my hubby, or anyone I love, fried, cooked, dead flesh. So, I won't, if they choose to eat it, fine, but I won't make it for them

I will however, make them delicious raw, vegan treats and meals, and I will help them transition to raw if they choose, by adding raw veggies to their cooked pastas, etc.

I said nothing to my hubby about anything he eats, I just offer him luscious, succulent, orgasmic raw food. And guess what he eats.

It's always easier to eat the great food prepared for you, than to go outside and cook a dead thing, so he eats what I make.

Now, he is the one preparing all the food for both of us, and he hardly ever eats anything cooked any more.

But, if he ate cooked flesh, I would be okay with that, you see I'm not trying to control him, that never works, I am just being honest with him about my feelings, letting him know that I will prepare what I feel is good to eat, and then letting him make his own choices on what he chooses to eat.

It really is that simple, and if you are making the food, then you have the opportunity to make wonderful raw vegan dishes.

[TimmyC]

RP,

You are indeed a special person!! I also can't see anyone not wanting to eat your art/food instead of SAD food:). That is unless they don't want to destroy the beautiful food preperation.

Tim

[rawpriestess]

Tim, that has actually happened, like cutting into a beautiful raw cake, no one wants to mess it up.

So, I will cut the first piece, right out of the middle. LOL

It's easy then to hack it to bits.

I love making food, and raw makes it so much fun, and interesting

I learned this when I used to cater, if you want people to actually eat the food, you must first hack into it.

So, take out one piece (at least) and cut up the rest, then people feel they can take a piece.

[TimmyC]

Great idea RP!! However, if you invited me over for dinner, I'd not hesitate to take the first bite! LOL It looks so good.

My wife is starting to get into this...our next purchase is a dehydrator. The more I get involved, the more she is...I like that. Also she wants to experiment with different recipies etc. She also likes the way food looks or she says she'll get board.

I agree with you that force is never going to work. I have people ask me should I do the raw diet? I tell them it's their choice, and their committment to themselves...I can just offer them my experiences for them to help make their own decisions.

We (my wife and I) are having fun experimenting with foods now. This I never thought would be fun, but the thing we like most about it now is discovering new and exciting foods and their tastes. Anyway I could go on, but you probably catch my drift.

Tim

[GlimR]

Your ideas are all fantastic and I envy you your situation RP~
In mine, I have always done all the cooking and I liked it that way.
I have always cooked healthy, gourmet meals, by SAD standards.
My husband is very supportive of anything I want to do for myself but I don't see how I can shift the dynamics of how we have always done things.
(as in making him cook his own meals) Usually by dinner time I am tired and I could care less about making something for myself, so I don't eat, just make his meal. I have simplified the things I am cooking for him a great deal but it is still the prep of two different types of food, if I make myself something.
I could make a smoothie or salad for me and keep it simple that way...but I usually don't.
If I lived alone it would be so much easier as far as what foods I keep in the house, pots and dishes.....would give me so much room~ *s* As it is I also run a family day care program and by law have to feed the children certain meal components...I serve them lots of fruit which they love, smoothies, etc..but still have to serve cooked starches and meat. I don't mean to rant and whine but it gets difficult sometimes having all these types of food in the house.

[rawpriestess]

Tim, there are many wonderful fun things you can do with raw food.

Dragggon and I often experiment with tastes, and sauces and fruits and raw ice cream, etc.

You get my drift (I'm sure)
************
GlimR,
I know it can be difficult, and there are options, I love making food, so it is a joy for me, not a chore.

Also, we grow so much of our own food, so it is plentiful and ripe and fresh all the time, you might think of a garden for the kids, and they could learn so much about foods, if that is feasable, with your yard etc. You could also just start by tossing all your pots and pans, ( I lived for years with only one small pan to heat water in--I did own more, but chose to live simply as an experiment)

And then just only cook one thing for dinner for your hubby, like a piece of meat (ICK) and the rest is all raw, warmed corn, fresh salad, fresh fruit and nut dessert, fresh almond milkshake.

then the next day, a taco salad, with the taco meat, being the meat, and everything else being fresh and raw, then the next day, a raw pizza, but with maybe cooked pepperoni on it for him, so you can incorporate some cooked things for him, but still eat 90% raw for him and you just eat the raw part without the meat, or without the cooked.

Let's say you make a delicious raw soup, warmed on the stove to finger warm, then add some cooked ground beef for him, same with the kids.

Again, a huge fresh salad with some grilled chicken for your hubby.

Or a shish kabob warmed in the dehydrator with tons of fresh mushrooms, red pepper, onion, etc, and with 2 small pieces of meat (cooked) on it for your hubby.

Also, the stir dry, with tons of fresh veggies, on a bed of cauliflower, but for your hubby, mix in white rice with the cauliflower, and add a couple pieces of cooked marinated beef.

You will be weaning him off of the cooked foods gradually and making such wonderful dishes for yourself.

It could certainly be lots of fun.

And it would be very easy to one or two days a week, to forget to add his meat to the dish, and if he asks for it, then give it to him.

the reason I know this works, is that when Dragggon's teenage SAD food eating son lived with us, I used to make veggie burritos, and veggie pizza all the time, he always thought there was meat in it, then when I started making raw pizza and enchiladas, he never knew, he was so used to the veggie ones, he didn't even realize that they were raw.

Same with soups, and smoothies, I just made them available to him, and he ate them, never even thought of them as raw.

It can be done, and you can do it.

It can be fun, and he will love you more for loving him enough to make sure that he has good nutritious foods around. And if he wants a steak, he can go down to the local restaurant and order one.

[ebonysea7]

I can totally relate to this entire discussion since I too am the only raw person in my household. I mentioned this dilemma in another thread and one suggestion was to let my sons (16 and 23) do their own cooking but it's tough. I find myself still tempted by what they make for themselves not to mention the expense of having to buy my food AND theirs.

I like the idea of creating raw food recipes that they'll love. For the most part they'll eat anything that tastes good and isn't nailed down. :p

/gfj

[Live Free]

I think my life would be so much easier if my husband didnt try and tempt me into eating his junk.

I also think that my life would be easier if I had his full support. He supports me financially to buy whatever food I want, but his actions are not supportive at all.

I dont tell him what to eat, I dont think he should tempt me to eat foods full of sugar.... I encourage him to keep eatting the foods that he eats. I fully support his decision to eat the junk food.

Teresa and Mae
Live Free

[swiddweas]

thank you all very much. :)

I hope I didn't give the wrong impression about my hubby here. He is completely supportive of my eating raw. He buys me special raw food when we dine out, he is just so supportive that way. The probems arise when i cook for HIM. Lately, he has been wanting less cooked food, however.He has requested for me to make him and the children a large fruit salad for breakfast instead of his usual dougnuts or muffins, YEH! He also loves the salads I have been making but he doesn't like the onion bread, or the fake hamburgers. i thing I added too much of something as they were terrrible! LOL! Anyway, just so i didn't put out the idea he wasnt supportive, that would be terribly wrong. This past week, he has decided to not bring junk food into the house. So this is a great big step! :) I suppport him in what he wants to eat, and he supports me.The problem is the smell of cooked food is still very tempting at times.And I still have to cook! That's what I have been trying to get across here. :)

PattyE

[TimmyC]

See....follow the leader is going on... or something like that.


My wife is tending to do the same thing. She's nowhere near 100%, but she's trying, and that's all that counts.

Tim

[Goldenrod]

Another who's the loan raw fooder in the house, but at least my family is vegan and eats quite a bit of raw food already. My DH is simply not interested. I think it will take him seeing some really definite changes in me before that happens. With the boys, I just keep offering bites of stuff I make and see what they like.

[Sharon in Colorado]

I'm doing a lot more like RP these days. I've been on and off raw for several years and at first I talked about it too much. Most people really don't want to hear it. So now, I just make this and that and have the family eat what I make.

Like I made the eggplant bacon and ask them to try it and see if they like it.

I made energy bars in different flavors and I put the bars in snack sized zip bags, and then bring them along for after Taekwondo. Last night I told the kids not to have any bubble gum (they always give out bubble gum at the end) because I had another treat for them. Then I gave a bar to the Master who has high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

I put out a nice big bowl of grapes - this was the kids don't go around looking for junk. I still buy the health food junk, because I don't want them to rebel. I did mention to hubby that I'd like to start cutting out refined sugar. I think that is going to take a little work, though.

When I make fudge truffles the kids love it. I roll them up in coconut, cashew flour and carob and they go crazy. They've enjoyed the banana ice cream I've made for them before.

The biggest problem I have is when their uncle comes over, who is an overwieght guy with high triglycerides - and brings them junk, or takes them out for junk. I'm not sure how to handle that one because hubby doesn't try to stop it from happening.

[MoniDew]

I, too, am the only raw member of my family. I, too, have a non-raw meat-eating husband and 3 non-raw meat-eating sons at home who expect me to cook SAD for them. In the past 3 or so years, I too, have fallen into the trap of eating "their" food, and not being able to convince them to try "my" raw foods. All the raw goodies I tried out on my family (early on, lately I haven't even bothered,) they turned their noses up at.

Lately, my family has been winning the battle....and this is a difficult admission to make, but I separated from my family for 6 months or so, because raw had such a high priority that I wanted raw more than I wanted my family.

That was a bad decision. But now that I have my family back, and have made them my higher priority, I am having a really tough time staying raw. I've gained more than 20 pounds and am struggling very much with remaining raw (although philosophically, I am still very aware of why I went raw, and why I want to stay raw.)

I'm in this alone, too, and I'm not doing it well.

[Live Free]

I hear you loud and clear. I have the same struggles, I really dont want to eat any more cooked food. I often feel like getting away from my husband sometimes. Well a lot of the time.

However, I just cant picture my life without him. So I guess I will have to have a will power to avoid the junk that he eats and try to make good choices when it comes to the cooked food that he wants to share with me.

I have been trying to schedule my eating before he eats or after he eats, just to try and avoid eating what he is eating.

I am lucky that I have never had to cook for him. Since I dont know how to make his Vietnamese food. If your husband is a caring and understanding man, perhaps he could make the meat for him and your sons. that would be the way to go.

I am getting better at avoiding the meat and other things that my husband tries to intice me to eat. He actually trys to push me. I really dont think that is respectful or caring.

I cant convince my husband to eat any of my raw desserts or raw foods either.

Please MoniDew I am with you and totally understand where you are coming from. I really dont know if another 20 years of this current lifestyle will be suitable for me. We will just have to take it one day at a time.

If you can communicate with your husband how you feel and then perhaps you will be able to work through this together. He may feel threatened (that you are changing and finding yourself through raw) if he is anything like my husband.

Keep me posted, call if you want to talk
888-457-5730 (vm)
Teresa and Mae
Live Free
Live Free

[swiddweas]

Oh, no,you have got it all wrong. My husband supports me and he is not trying to sabatoge my efforts. I feel I have to make that clear. This is has nothing to do with my husband being bad or negative in anyway, in fact he just bought me an entire kitchens worth of raw food machines that I have been wanting to help me..... So, I am not looking to calll down my husband or talk about him negatively, but asking for suggestions on how to overcome the temptations that are all around us, not just at home but everywhrer. It would be nice for him to be raw, my children are somewhat raw, but this stuff takes time and I am not interested in talking down my husband in any way.


Hope that clears things up in a nutshell :)

[rawpriestess]

I have a blessed life, first, let me admit that.

But it didn't come easy, and I lived with many challenges with food my entire life.

So, with that said, let me also say one more thing.

having support at home is deffinitely important, but it isn't the ONLY thing.

If you truly want something badly enough you will find a way, and if you don't want it, you will find an excuse.

And that excuse will be the closest thing you can find, and that will usually be your family, or lack of family, or job, or lack of job, or where you live, or where you don't live, or your car, or your buss line, or your pets, or your not having pets, or whatever you choose as your "reasons" which are really excuses.

You see, the ONLY reason I know this, is that I use excuses too. I am stressed, or my life is too easy, or too difficult, or I am bored, or I have too much work to do, or too much time on my hands, or my hubby eats cooked, or I'm alone in the house, or my family is visiting, or I have no one to prepare raw food for, or I am traveling, or I am always at home, or I am too fat, or I am losing tons of weight, or or or, trust me, If it is an excuse, I've use it. and often.

I do sympathise, however it is a cop out. Even when you say you have no choices, because you are a teenager, with no money, and have to eat what your parents buy as food, that is also a cop out, as you can eat wild edibles, you can forage for fresh fruits and veggies, you can get a part time job, you can work on a farm, or orchard, etc.

IF you truly want to do something, you will find a way, if you don't, you will find an excuse. This is sooooooooo very true.

[swiddweas]

BBBBWWWAAHAAAHAAHAAA! LOL!


THIS IS SOOO TRUE! :) You are incredibly insightful.

I am guilty as charged.


Thank you.


PattyE

[MoniDew]

Hi Live Free (and others)

Thank you for such a personal note. I really appreciate it. Because my husband and 2 older sons work such odd hours, it is difficult to ask them to cook for eachother. I typically prepare a meal for my youngest son's appetite, and save some in microwavable dishes for my husband and other sons. So, needless to say, it is often the worst possible food imaginable, because a 14 year old boy is doing the choosing. (YUCK!)

When my husband is home at a meal time (which, believe me, is insanely rare,) he does enjoy my salads. He's getting to the point now where he "gets" how important this is to me and is starting to ask for a salad with his meal...which will still be the usual junk. He deludes himself into believing he is being supportive of me, so I tolerate it. :)

I really understand how difficult it is to imagine spending the next 20 years embroiled in this battle. It is way too hard living with one foot in each camp. Yes, the strength to sustain us is going to have to come from someplace inside us. I know it can be done (Chet Day has been high raw for many years, alone, in his family. He has his own website as a way of remaining motivated.)

Maybe you and I will just have to support and encourage eachother.

As a small note, my husband was very much the type to try to drag me back into his comfort zone - until I left. Then, he "got it." He knew that in order to keep me he was going to have to be more supportive than that. When I came back, he appologized for not being supportive of me, and has never tried to drag me back since. All of the SAD eating I have done since I have returned has been - in some way, I guess - an attempt at compromise with my non-raw family. I rarely, if ever, cheated before. When the power struggle was on, I was almost 100% raw. But now, without the struggle, I often eat more than 50% SAD. It breaks my heart when I do, because I know I want to be 100% raw for life, but because they are now bending my way a little, I feel guilty not bending some in their direction as well. It seems unfair somehow to ask them to bend my way without correspondingly giving up a little of what I believe. BUT I DON'T WANT TO GIVE UP ANYTHING AT ALL!!! I want to be stubborn and selfish and not give an inch! And that makes me feel like a total jerk. It is very conflicting to know what I believe is absolutely right, and yet feel totally guilty when I am wholeheartedly pursuing it.

What a mess!

(anyone else have any imput on the guilty/conflicted raw experience?)

[ambiguous]

Some unsolicited advice--

Live Free--it sounds to me as though you have some issues besides raw vs. non-raw going on in your household. I suggest beginning to try to keep the food part of your family relationship totally separate from the rest--make sure that when your husband is cooking or comes home with food that you (and your daughter) are full, try to find other things to do while he is eating, and try to avoid discussions of food with him. Once you are successful at doing this (if you are, and this may be hard), you may want to examine whether he is being supportive of you in ways other than diet, and whether the issue of food and eating is really just a manifestation of a deeper power struggle in your relationship or if it really is merely a difference of opinion and habit for the two of you. If you do find that the relationship is negative for you in other ways, you may want to consider other options; just because you can't imagine living without him doesn't mean you're not able to do it if that's what is best for you.

For MoniDew, your own eating habits do not need to be the way that you compromise with your family. By cooking foods for them that you wouldn't eat, this seems like quite a compromise in itself. But I do bet that you might feel better in general and be better able to stay raw if you didn't feel guilty about eating cooked when you do so. Maybe it would help if you told yourself before you ate that you want to feel good about what you're going to eat. That may help you say no to those fries, or not feel guilty if you do have that chocolate chip cookie.

In any case, eating raw should be a positive thing we do for ourselves and our families (if we're lucky enough to have families who are open-minded about changing their diets). Letting raw foods be the thing that comes between us and the people we care about is silly. On the other hand, if it does seem to be a struggle, maybe there is more going on than just an argument about food preparation.

I'm lucky enough to say this as a single person who only has to worry about my own food preparation (although my so is supportive of raw foods and is probably 50%+ raw), but I did live as a vegetarian (age 11) and vegan (age 16) in a non-vegetarian household, and am familiar with some of the issues that can arise from different dietary choices. I just hope that part of the move towards raw eating is being more conscious of our eating habits as well as the rest of our lives, and that we learn to feel good about what we're doing, no matter what that is.

[SimpleGirl]

ambiguous-very well said and sensitive to the issues. Live Free I too read your posts with concern and hope only the best for you. -Nina

[Queenie]

Quote from Live Free:

I am getting better at avoiding the meat and other things that my husband tries to intice me to eat. He actually trys to push me. I really dont think that is respectful or caring.

I live with my brother and he and his girlfriend eat cooked and SAD and all kinds of stuff. However, they don't demean what I do. My brother even admits - having educated himself on the subject (I leave my books around) the raw food lifestyle is a good way to go. But no one has the right to demean me or put crap in front of me and taunt me !!! I think - I don't mean to cross the line here - you might want to re-examine some paradigms about just what women have to put up with from men. You don't have to put up with being belittled, taunted, made fun of, or demeaned. Did he belittle you and push you down before you went raw? I'm a bit of a ball-buster, perhaps, but I don't put up with crap from men.

Try this: "I'd suggest you educate yourself on a subject before you judge it"
Put a book in front of the big jerk! Sorry, but it sounds as if you are being psychologically abused, if in a small way.
Got Goddess?