View Full Version : My mom
09-13-2010, 05:24 PM
I've been eating whatever I feel makes me feel the best, which usually consists of 2 days raw and every 3 days a cooked food. Problem is that my mom is now threatening to send me to a mood clinic or mental hospital if she doesn't see me eating cooked food in every meal! I really don't know what to do at this point, it angers me that she looks at me like i'm a freak when I eat this way and she thinks I have some personality disorder that makes me obsessed with eliminating things out of my diet or something. I dont know what she thinks but I have no clue where to go from here..
09-13-2010, 06:16 PM
That's just utterly silly!
But sadly all too common for people who are still living with their parents.
Do you have a history of eating disorders? If so then maybe her fears are grounded in something. If not then maybe you need to sit down and discuss things with her, logically, rationally and really importantly, without resorting to arguing and emotional stuff.
Has she seen some pics of the amazing transformations on raw? Do you have a raw food restaurant or place that serves raw food in your area you can take her to? Maybe she just needs to see more info assuring her it isn't going to harm you.
I really feel for you in your situation, but hold your ground calmly and firmly and without anger if you feel passionate about it.
And let us know how you go. :)
09-13-2010, 06:42 PM
I did have some eating disorders. There was a period of time a year ago when I starved myself for a few months for weight loss. This short period of time installed a permanent fear in her that I will resort once again to those measures. More recently I've been more of a binge eater and emotional eater.
Unfortunately my mom is not the type of person you can sit down and talk to, unless you have a formal education on the subject. I'm wondering if there is a doctor that supports the raw food diet around here, in Vancouver/Delta BC. She doesn't believe in naturopathic doctors, so it's a hard find.
Hhhmm when she is in a better state of mind I could pick up some meals from a raw restaurant and we could have a picnic, of a sorts, I suppose. She doesn't like to drive and is afraid of busses, so we wouldn't be able to be in the restaurant. She refuses to be persuaded by any transformation stories, as she thinks you people are trying to brainwash me in some way.
I'll try and hold my ground... mind you she is a very unstable and controlling person, honestly I think this is a part of her own need for control. The anger is something that is hard for a teenager to control, but I realize this is fueling her perceived need to control my direction. Calm is key. I'll also try and get out of the house more when I eat, more picnics for me lol.
Part of me almost subliminally begins to believe her when she says this way of eating is unhealthy, despite the fact that I know better and that I truly believe in raw food. I am on the edge of wondering whether to give up for now or not, but when I give up I spiral into depression very badly.
I so appreciate your reply, thanks. I guess just need to believe in the process despite her remarks.
09-13-2010, 06:59 PM
I would advise you to hold your ground. Just google raw food. There are so many sites and information out there that one has to realize that this is not just a fad. It is catching on one enlightened person at a time. I have been raw for 1 year, not 100%, but very close. I am healthy, have had no sickness , have loads of energy. This is for real. I started using herbs back in the mid 90s. My family thought I was crazy. Now herbs are the norm. I think it is the same for raw. Just hang in there and show your mom by example that this is not a food hang-up for you but a lifestyle.
09-14-2010, 07:35 PM
If you're at least 18, I'd move out if I were you. Have any friend's you could be roomies with? Start saving up to move out as soon as possible.
09-14-2010, 08:18 PM
Escape Artist I'm giving you a great big hug. The situation you're experiencing sucks, but you're an amazingly creative being and I know there's nothing you can't handle. It may be hard for you to grasp right now because you're in IT, but you're becoming stronger and more aware from the experience. I'm not sure how old you are, but if you're of legal age remember you always have a choice. And even if you still have a few years in your Mom's home, remember you're not a victim. When you're doing something that is not the norm, you will inevitably be misunderstood by many or even coined delusional. After awhile you realize its not personal and really just the other person having their own awareness jolted coupled with a tendency to react in a myriad of oftentimes irrational ways. I know this being family, your Mom specifically, the chords to her are long and run very deep. Just remember your strength and stay very much in tune with your own intuition.
I think you're just receiving threats from her because she cares and is afraid for you. Something is triggered in her, which has more to do with her own fears.
09-14-2010, 09:15 PM
Ah, if you have had an ED before, or don't have/haven't had the best relationship with food, then it might be your mum trying to work through her worries about your diet with you.
It's really hard isn't it? When you get to a certain age, you are your own person with your own ideas, but you are still tied to your parents, financially, emotionally and socially. But if you have really differing opinions on things, then it can be hard for the both of you to work it all through as mum/dad still see you as the kid, and you probably find it frustrating that they can't see that you have a mind, worked through and rational beliefs, a passion to stick with what you believe and the ability to know much more than they give you credit for.
Do what you think is best, but remember this: fresh food is what we are made to eat, no caveman was eating twinkies, or pasta, or donuts. If you feel better eating raw (and most do) then it might be good to stand your own ground simply for your own good health. After all, it IS your body.
But if things get too difficult, you might want to try some compromises. Work out what's best for you in your unique situation.
Don't think you are alone! So many people go through very similar situations as young people. They figure things out in the end.
And of course, you can always get help and support here. :)
09-14-2010, 11:41 PM
Please show her the testimonials on YouTube including the Go Raw Now trailer.
09-15-2010, 08:30 AM
Well, you've gotten lots of hugs (here's another) and good advice..fix some raw things for her to try, stand your ground, etc. Also maybe go toone of the free calorie counting sites, input a day or two and show her you are eating enough calories! The proof is in the raw pudding, so to speak. That may help calm a few of her fears for you. Good Luck!
09-15-2010, 11:17 AM
You have gotten some really good advise. Another thing you could do is eat raw for breakfast and lunch and a SAD dinner with her. Just take it slow and ease her into it. Make some raw deserts and share with her. Personally I wouldn't tell her its raw cause she probably wont like it regardless if its good or not lol. In the beginning I would tell my hubby its raw and he would say I dont like it, so I started telling him it wasnt raw until he ate it and liked it! lol
Just remember your mom loves you and doesn't want you to stray from what she believes. I have to say if my boys came home 2 years ago and said I am eating vegan or raw I would of freaked! Now I am trying to convert them one desert/meal at a time! lol
09-18-2010, 10:04 AM
Important to keep in mind that your mom is worried about you.
What is your 2 days fo raw consisting of? Interested to know if you are doing lots of smoothies and juices - or eating heartier such as crackers and pates and such.
Perhaps you are eating too lightly for your mom, particularly if you have a hx with eating disorders.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.1.4 Copyright © 2013 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.