Heal my body/mind of eating disorder through raw foods??

[jolie8558]

Hello,

I will try to make this as concise as possible. But basically about 3 or 4 years ago I developed an eating disorder (Anorexia) I was already thin before I started, but had a trauma occur in my life that made me turn to not eating to feel a sense of control. It lasted for about a year. I then started to eat again and began binging....my body couldn't get enough food. I gained and weighed more at the end of it than I had before my ED had even started. I now eat what I consider to be normally (caloric wise) but am unhappy with my body shape. I was always thin and now have an ass, hips, stomach, thighs...while the rest of me remains lean. I know people say fat redistribution takes time, but it's been over 2 years now. Does anyone know if there are any blogs of people who have been through this or what I should be eating?!? I'd really just like to be able to eat AND like what I see in the mirror!!!!!! It doesn't seem too much to ask. I'm so tired of feeling this way! Uhhh, when I think of all the women out there that I know are struggling with it too...just know I am giving you a big empathetic hug! Anyway, any insight anyone?!?

[reina80]

As someone who has struggled with an eating disorder my entire life (namely bulimia) I am going to say that your first step needs to be to speak to a counselor. There might be some that say raw foods will heal everything but the main problem is you're still turning to food and dieting to solve your problems. Once you deal with the emotional issues and learn to love yourself (skinny, fat, ass, hips whatever), then you can begin to focus on what you're eating more. Incorporating more raw foods into your diet will be great to help with mental clarity and other issues and make you healthier overall but with your history and since you are approaching it as a way to lose weight - it might cause more problems than it helps. I know some will disagree with me but that is my opinion - take it for what its worth.

Oh and PS (my opinion again) - there is nothing sexier than a woman with a body that has good curves - much better than being stick thin. :)

[mei jing]

Jolie,
I can't even tell you how much I understand what you are going through right now, but unfortunately, there is no easy answer to this.

I struggled with an eating disorder (from anorexia to nos-"not otherwise specified" if you want to get into classifications) on and off for almost six years. After I recovered from my first bout, my body was fine, but then I started relapsing by going through compulsive cycles of fasting then eating then fasting then eating. During this period, I was eating less, but gaining weight and to top it off, my IBS was getting worse. All of this made the ED almost impossible to cope with.

Only after some time in inpatient recovery, I felt like a had a stronger will power to fight the ED. However, it still took about a year before my weight finally 'normalied' to some extent. Yes, it was hard, especially because I really couldn't be on any type of restrictive diet, including vegan or raw foods, and I felt a little guilty for it, but I knew it would just bring back bad habits. So first I had to heal my mental state and my relationship with my body before I could worry about what I was eating.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that the most important thing right now is to be kind to your body, no matter what. Don't use raw foods as an excuse to go back to your eating disorder, OR as some romaticized healthy way to become anorexic-like skinny again. I don't know how long you have or haven't been eating raw or whatever, but I only say this because I have done it myself. Now that I think I've finally made peace with my body, however, my focus is on health and only health. I'm SLOWLY getting back into raw with a different mindset, not as a quick fix for some post-recovery weight gain, but as a way to maintain a completely healthy body, free from depression or other ailments. You must make sure this is your motivation and nothing else, before looking for any particular foods or methods you "should" be eating or trying.

That being said, specific adivce I can give you is one: make sure you are eating enough calories. Dont fall into the trap of "well its healthy/unhealthy/raw/whatever, so I don't have to eat that much." Not something you should ever say to yourself if you are a ED recoveree. I gained the most weight when I was only eating 1,000 (vegan, I might add) calories a day plus exercise. Often your metabolism re-sets itself if you go for long periods of semi-starvation. Two: get in some cardio and light calistenic exercise; you really won't distrubute weight well unless you have some good muscle tone for your body to work with. In my experience, after putting your body through so much stress from an eating disorder, you need the extra boost from exercise to correct both mental and physical after-effects (especially weight gain).

Much love going out to you. Stay strong! Love yourself!

[Shels]

You have my sympathy and support, I agree with the posts above. Exercise will help your metabolism and fat distribution (not to mention your mood).
Most importantly, move at your own pace. There are people here who will praise the benefits of fasting to no end, and while I'm interested in health and cleansing, I know a fast is not something I could handle mentally. Take one step at a time, and listen to your body (not the voice in your ear). Good luck.

[jolie8558]

Hi guys,

Thank you for the advice. I do think working out is probably something I need to do...both for my mind and body. It makes sense that I would need to rebuild muscle. I guess I was more just looking for advice on how to heal my body. For anyone who has had an eating disorder, and think they can relate to the regain of body fat in disportionate preportions. It looks and actually is really unhealthy to have fat around the stomach. I guess no one can tell me exactly what to eat... I was just I guess looking for people who have been through the same thing or blogs or website or any information on what I should be doing. A model or prototype of how to heal your ED body through raw. If anyone has ANYTHING, I would really appreciate it. Thank you so much!

Jolie

[Revvell]

Hi everyone,
I do think working out is probably something I need to do...
Jolie


That's what I was going to suggest. Health is not about food alone.

[steflou]

I suffered from anorexia in 1983 after being bullied at work. Did you get any stretchmarks from the regained weight and how do you plan on dealing with them? I saw a post from a woman who got rid of hers by dry skin brushing, juicing and applying msm lotion and taking it internally.

[jolie8558]

Hi Steflou,

I did get stretchmarks....but they went away. I didn't really do anything, they just went away on their own. It took about 9 months to a year. I have heard that skin brushing and MSM helps though. I think just eating raw and making sure to get plenty of water is a big step. Hope this helps!

Jolie

[MelanieBear]

My dear,

I can hear the suffering in your writing and I wish that I had some advice or elixir to offer you that would soothe you. I also hear more than one 'voice' speaking its desires in your post, and one part of yourself that hasn't been given a voice. Everyone else has had good suggestions, so I'd consider this response to be a "yes, and...." response. It's something we say in the theater. "Yes, and..." is a way of affirming what's been given before and adding on.

The first voice I hear is the voice of your rational mind. Your mind explains your situation to us, as it sees it. "I've had an ED," it says, "and now my body is wrong---from an objective standpoint, of course, as evidenced by my fat distribution. I need to fix it."

I also hear the whispers of an inner critic. This is the voice that starts to list the body parts that are not acceptable. That voice can become absolutely relentless and cruel. This is true for all of us, but those of us with ED history have a particulary fraught relationship with this voice. This voice will literally persecute and torture the body. This is a voice that I'm sure you're familiar with as the voice of restriction, the voice of self-reproach.

But, as a bodyworker and a healer, the voice that I think about in your post is the one I don't hear, the voice of your body. What does your body want? Your mind mentioned that in the time following your eating disorder, "it couldn't get enough food." I'd invite you to think about this statement. It seems to me that your body *really* couldn't get enough food when you were actively practicing restriction as part of your anorexia. After you entered recovery, your body asked for more food than your mind thought was appropriate. (Whether this was "overating" by external standards isn't important to this part of the discussion.) Your body had been starved. It responded in-kind. Thankfully, you allowed your body to eat. It needed it. You needed it.

Now, your effort is to re-normalize your relationship to food and to deeper forms of nourishment. Part of that effort must include accepting the body for what she is----a temporal thing, made of flesh, made according to the particular quirks of your gentics and your personal history. Part of that effort must include giving voice to the body. If you do not, she will give voice to her needs in the primal ways that she knows how--- by sending you on binges, creating symbolic illnesses, or the like. Your mind doesn't like her ass, her thighs, her belly, etc. Is that really fair after all she's been though? What does your body think? Is there room for a middle path that takes into account both the body's needs and the mind's assertions? Can you tell that inner critic to piss off? It's hurt you enough.

i hope this has been helpful in some way. I find that it's a good practice to make space for the body each day, simply by taking a few moments to relax (I like to lie down and breathe for a few minutes after coming home from the day's activities) and check in with how the body is feeling. But, if this doesn't resonate or isn't helpful, please just let it go like another passing cloud in the sky.

All my best wishes for your healing,
Melanie

[nadien alexandra]

^ this.

there is nothing i can add to this because you said everything necessary and so well.