In desperate need of support

[Callie]

Hey guys, I've been getting a bit emotional and discouraged lately and its beginning to compromise my raw life. I've already gone froma 16 to a 10 but it's been really difficult here at college to deal with feelings of unattractiveness and jeaolousy of people who are already at their right weight. The last few days I have just been struggling. So I was wondering if anyone could give me some tips or encouragement on how they got through the wait in losing weight or just any tidbit that will push me forward in my raw journey! Thanks soo much!

[LNdolls]

I weighed myself on day 11 and I am up four pounds since the end of my cleanse - a few short days before I went raw - UP!! UP four little pounds.. I spent a couple hours giving myself a hard time, wondering if I should limit the avocados - wondering if this was 'just another diet' for me. I had to pry my head off those thoughts and change my focus - going raw, as with the cleanse I did - was not just for weight loss. I chose this life style for health! I do care how functional I am. In your place I might make a list of all the things I can do now that I could not do before I began this journey.
I can walk fast for blocks! I can climb hills. I can shop for a couple hours at a time without resting. I can stand and wait for a bus, stand on the bus, navagate around people in stores more easily. I fit smaller clothes, for sure, but more precious even is that I have greater endurance to do what I love to do. I can read, bounce back from distressing conversations faster, and spend countless hours online - before my legs would complain a lot more.
And then after making a list of some of the cool things I can do now.. I might take myself out as a treat to a fun movie - like 'Serenity' - and get my mind off everything for a while. And on the way home, buy myself a bouquet of flowers to sniff and enjoy as I remind myself of how far I have already come.
Best Always,
LN

[Ireland]

LN - that was beautiful. Callie, I hope you're encouraged because I sure am!

[Halo Aglow]

From a size 16 to a size 10? WOW!!!!! You are rawkin'! You should be flying high in the sky with how you are feeling about yourself but I understand how you feel. It's hard not to compare ourselves to other people, but we should put more focus into ourselves. I'm still learning to do this myself!

What types of exercises are you doing? Do you think that you may like such things as belly dancing? Or Carmen Electra's sexy group of exercise tapes?

I have the set of Bellydancing tapes that are by those twins, Veena & Neena Bidasha. Bellydancing really does make a woman feel beautiful, sensual and confident while getting her into shape. And after each workout, you keep with you that sense of beauty, sensuality and confidence about yourself.

Also, whenever I am feeling down and feel like I could easily stray off of raw, I just make some type of raw dessert for myself like raw ice cream and then I'm good to go again!

[moorsie32]

ok, so I am a 24 year old guy and for that reason perhaps not as in tune with the emotional response to difficult wait loss in women, but I want to say really quick.... We all know that there are guys out there that don't care about how a girl looks and guys out there who do, I am of the second group. However I don't much care if her dress size is a 10 or a 14 what I do care about is that she eats beautiful raw food and radiates life energy because of it. What I am trying to say is worry not about the dress size (although I do believe in time a healthy weight is always reached on this diet), instead spend more time realizing how beautiful you glow and how much more positivity comes into your life because of it. I am certain that your beauty has increased more than you can imagine and certainly more than a dress size will ever reflect!

[Callie]

Wow! Thank you all soo much for your responses! They have been very encouraging! I really appreciate it! It's good to be reminded of all the amazing things that have already happened because of raw:) Thanks!

[Elizrawbeth]

(This really wasn't your question, but I thought it pertinent for here.) I read recently in a book, that when people hit "plateaus" it is usually because the body has to assimilate all the extra fluff that is there. You hit a plateau because of that; once the body is ready, you will start to lose weight again.

Kudos for losing so much! My husband went raw with me in June, and to date, has lost 42 pounds. We have had his clothes taken in once, but he is losing weight so fast that we are going to have to go shopping for him soon. I myself did not need to lose much when I started, and I have lost about 10 pounds. What I am hoping for is a great improvement in my health, which was the reason for starting it in the first place.

[TimmyC]

Hi Callie,

I can't say that I know exactly what you're going through, but I'm sure I've felt similar to you in this situation in the past, even as a guy. It's not a good feeling. I think you're doing a great thing by reaching out to others! They will help you along the way. Plus you're on an amazing journey...don't worry about what people look like or say (it's kind of hard at times) but realize where you'll be at 6 months from now. That's attainable right?

You have made a tremendous change from a 16 to a 10...that's fantastic! You probably have all kinds of great things happening to your body health wise as well. Just think about where you'll be next year. That I'm sure will be an amazing story and picture!

The way I'm looking at my new lifestyle change is that old cliche in the title. Although it's only my 23rd day, I'm guessing sprinters don't last long with this lifestyle. I'm guessing the marathoners do. I'll finish my 30 days, but then I have 90 more...and much more after that.

What does that have to do with you? Well, a couple of things perhaps. Right now I'm setting goals for myself...not long term, but 6 months away. That helps me, because one I want to get somewhere, and two I know I'm not going to get there tomorrow, and three it's not unreachable. You have the ability to picture yourself down the road, setting a reasonable goal for yourself and reaching that goal. That can help.

Two, I do things one day at a time until I reach the goal. Each day is an accomplishment for me (short term goal). So day after each day I go along making small accomplishments...and I will eventually get to my medium term goal (six months), and I'll have another one to reach for BTW. If I look at it like it's a 6 month sprint, and that's the only goal, then I won't get there as I can't go that long sprinting. I personally have to have small victories in the mean time.

You are doing great just one day at a time, and reaching out for help when you need it. Every day you make it is another step to your medium term goal. Sure there's going to be slip ups or whatever, but don't beat yourself up for it...just get back up and continue towards your goal...(I'm sure most of us will slip up a time or two, and I'll just bet that no one on this board will beat you up, rather pick you up). If runners fall down during a race they get back up and finish it...I'm sure most marathoners will tell you that finishing the race is the most important thing, and there's no reason to sprint....because they pace themselves to the end.

Well the marathon is life, and the sprint is only temporary. Pace is everyday.

Currently I'm dealing with the fact that I will no longer eat SAD foods....that's hard for me, but a reality I have to deal with one day at a time if I want to change my life, and not want this to be temporary. I really have a hard time doing it alone...and I need encouragement...I believe everyone does. That's why I'm here getting help from others and sharing my stories with others. This helps me each day pace myself, and not look at it like a sprint.

You'll get there with the help of others...we all support you. Keep up the fantastic work!!

Tim

[MAK]

Hey guys, I've been getting a bit emotional and discouraged lately and its beginning to compromise my raw life. I've already gone froma 16 to a 10 but it's been really difficult here at college to deal with feelings of unattractiveness and jeaolousy of people who are already at their right weight. The last few days I have just been struggling. So I was wondering if anyone could give me some tips or encouragement on how they got through the wait in losing weight or just any tidbit that will push me forward in my raw journey! Thanks soo much!

Callie, You are doing very well. 2 years ago I lost 40 pounds without even trying (it is easier for men). All I wanted is to be healthier. Your goal is to be healthy. Eat right (defiently raw) and your body will naturally "choose" the right size and shape. And if you feel that man is judging you by size of your cloth you should not give a d... about this guy to start with. I do not know your BMI, but that is a main criteria.
You are attractive already by the fact that you love yourself and you are taking care of yourself. There was an article today on Yahoo, that 9 out of 10 men and 8 out of 10 women are overweight in America. Aren't you happy that we will be/are a happy minority. Just be patient and persistant.
80% of American women are alredy envy you.
Good luck to you Callie.

[tvillemom]

YAY CALLIE! YAY CALLIE!! YAY CALLIE!!!!! :D Congratulations to you...hang in there, don't give up, you can do it!!!
Wendi

[Essensual]

Moorsie32, Tim-
Thank you for the male perspectives...

Elizrawbeth,

You are sooooo right about the plateaus. The last one I hit was playing mind game on me. Then I reminded myself that weight loss for me was just a fringe benefit of going raw. Then I also noticed that I go through major detox during menses, because once it's over...I cannot believe what the scale is saying!

To add to the cheer:
\o/

/ \

That's raw brownie jumping up and down!

[Sweet lips]

Callie,

There is a joy to be held from you heart to yourself. Losing weight is a challenge, gaining you is the reward! Here are ten things you can do:

1. Stop thinking about your weight - yes, I did say that! You are made perfect by your creator.

2. Make a List of Women You Admire
How often is the woman's appearance a reason that you admire her? What do you think are the most important attributes a woman can have? What would you like a young woman to most admire in you?

3. Question the Motives of the Fashion Industry
Always remember that the main objective of the fashion, cosmetic, diet, fitness and plastic surgery industries is to make money, not to make you the best person you can possibly be. The ultra thin ideal is working for them. But is it working for you? If every season your parent or partner told you to change who you are or how you dress wouldn't you question their motives?

4. Stop Weighing Yourself
Remember that the emphasis to be thin and beautiful is ever present in our society. Cut yourself some slack. Imagine spending a day, or a week, without the scale measuring your self esteem. Does the scale tell you that you aren't disciplined enough? That you aren't working hard enough? Get rid of it. The emphasis on thin is new and arbitrary. And it can be reversed.

5. Concentrate on Things You Do Well
Do you look in the mirror one day and think you look great and the next day and think you look awful? Your body isn't changing, your perception of it is. It is true that if you're feeling good about other things in your life, you'll be less critical of how you look. Do things you do well. And if you've had a bad day, stay away from the mirror. When a woman is happy and confident, she may not have a "perfect" body, but she doesn't give a damn!

6. Get Physical For Fun
Your body needs EXCERCISE and LIVE FOODS. Take walks, dance in your living room, garden, golf...try to get moving for your heart, not to decrease the size of your bottom. You may lose weight and you may not, but your body will be stronger, your stress will be lower and you'll feel better.


7. Value Your Dollars
Our dollars are much in demand. You are being courted! How much of your money goes into the fashion and cosmetics industries? What do you spend on eating regimens? What are you getting back? Look at your budget and be sure the money you spend reflects the person you are, not the person society wants you to be. If look's didn't matter at all, what would you spend your money on?


8. Voice Your Opinion
Both large and small businesses are interested in your input. Your letters and phone calls really make a difference. The following organizations can help you find the addresses of companies. Contact Media Action Alliance in Circle Pines, MN (612) 434-4343 or Media Watch in Santa Cruz, CA (408) 423-6355. Subscribe to Media Watch's terrific quarterly Action Agenda.


9. Be a Role Model
Every culture and every generation has its own rules and expectations for women. It is never easy to go against the grain, but there have always been women who took risks to grow and learn and succeed. And, there always will be. Many inspirational women have broken molds, set new standards, and blazed trails. Wouldn't you like to break a mold or two?


10. Break the Barriers
Author Sara Tisdale wrote, "We must all choose between battles: One battle is against the cultural ideal, and the other is against ourselves." Must we always define ourselves by what popular culture dictates? Develop your own style. Have fun-- Wear lipstick. Or don't. You're the boss of you. By speaking out and accepting yourself (dimples and all, ), you help break the barriers.

You have accomplished much - Celebrate That!

[Carlene]

Callie,

College life is so difficult. So much pressure and stress to be beautiful, fit in. In a size 10 your goal can't be too far off. If you're feeling unattractive is it just because there are thinner people than you at school? If not, do something about it. Change your makeup or use some, restyle your hair, try a new look in clothes. Raw is a lifestyle, college is a testing ground. Find something that makes you feel pretty. Put a flower in your hair or jump in some fall leaves and see what laughter can do. We all have bad days, even weeks. Don't get discouraged. And don't blame raw, you are doing great.