A story from an "experienced" raw fooder...

[yeahbethany]

Hi all!

Some of you may know me, because I used to keep a raw-in-process journal on Alissa's site. I've been raw since January of 2004 (so going on two years now), and I don't have time to post often, but I do "lurk" here and read a fair amount.

Anyway, I have a short story to share, because some of you may find it interesting/food for thought. Also, I'd love to hear any thoughts you have on this, or similar experiences to share...

So, I've been raw for almost 2 years. My partner, Matt, is raw as well (he's been raw a little over a year now) and doing great - lost weight, went off some medications, etc. Being there to support each other is definitely the thing that keeps us "on the wagon", so to speak. Until a couple of months ago, being raw felt like "smooth sailing"...no cravings, etc. However, I am subject to constant temptations, it seems. I work in downtown Chicago, with people eating all kinds of yummy looking/smelling take-out for lunch, etc. I've been training for the Chicago marathon, following a lot of Dr. Graham's recommendations, etc. Between that, and eating simply out of laziness (not wanting to prepare food or clean up), my diet consisted of a lot of fresh, in season, organic fruit this past summer, along with smaller amounts of other foods, and it felt great!!!

But, it seems that all of a sudden, (maybe since the weather has started to cool off and there is less fresh food at the farmers market...) all the temptations just hit me all at once! A couple of weeks ago, after almost 2 years of raw, I just had this thought that "Oh my god, I'm SOOOOOOO tired of eating raw food! I just want to eat cooked!" And I started missing all the (cooked vegan) comfort foods I used to enjoy. I swear, the only thing that kept me raw was the thought that, 'If I bring cooked food into the house, it will sabotage Matt, and he is doing so well!' But the cravings kept driving me nuts...especially one particular craving. (I won't mention it, in case it is a problem for some of you!). To make a long story short, I had some (brought in take-out, did not cook it at home, and trashed the leftovers), and took some enzymes with it. It did taste good while I was eating it....

BUT my body actually had an immune response! I ran a fever that night, and woke up feeling kinda gross in the morning. The next day, whenever I ate anything, I had digestive distress and some dull aches. Yuck.

A couple of days later, I'm still feeling a bit out of sorts. I had trouble staying away from foods that make me feel poorly, such as large amounts of salt, spices, and nuts, and yesterday I actually felt depressed again! So it was a cycle. Today I stuck with just fruits and veggies, so hopefully I will feel better tomorrow.

My thoughts are that there is probably a happy medium between simple raw and gourmet raw, which is where I would like to be. However, since my body is a bit "messed-up" right now, its probably best to stick with simple for the next couple of days. Also, since the marathon is next week, simple is probably best.

However, simple gets boring when it is not summertime, as we all know =). But it seems that my body has gotten used to simple right now, and anything overly salty or fatty makes me feel less than great.

So, how do we find the happy medium between eating what makes us feel best, and not getting bored? It seems as though my body DEFINITELY wants to stay raw, but my MIND is not as convinced....

Anyway, I just wanted to share that, just to show that being raw can seem hard, even after you think you have it down! I've definitely learned from this...

Does anyone have any thoughts on how to find the joy again? =P

[squidly]

Hi there

being only high raw (for about 6 months) and having lots of trouble with sugar addiction I can honestly say I am not the one to provide advice. What I did want to say is THANK YOU for sharing your story and helping others realise that even long term raw fooders have the same desires, cravings, thoughts and worries as us the newbies. I still struggle with 100% raw which is why I am high raw. I only ever seem to last about 10 days and then cave so you inspire me!!!! Sorry I have no answers but thanks for the story and hope someone else really has some 'advice' for you. I do agree though that simple is easier in the warmer months when the fruit is so yummy and fresh!!

Good luck with the food and marathon - I am training for triathlons (sprint only) and really admire those who run marathons. GOOD LUCK!

[RawTruth]

Bethany,

Perhaps your body is telling you that it needs to move into a different, new phase of eating raw. I believe that eating the same foods, even though they may be simple, isn't going to work for an extended period of time. As things change (stresses, seasons, physical fitness, life events, etc.), so does our bodies and the nutrients/tastes they desire/need. Alissa has said (I'm paraphrasing here) that sticking to the same foods is a recipe for disaster. Our bodies are evolving and changing on our raw path and we have to be open to changing along with them. I think that intense craving after being raw for a while is a signal from our body to pay attention to a possible eating rut we've gotten into.

Just a thought --- along with many warm ones hoping you work through this temporary roadblock.

[MAK]

"...sticking to the same foods is a recipe for disaster..."
Really? How come I am eating same food for two years and I do not have any "disasters." I think it is all mental. If you did eat something "wrong" once quit being so hard on yourself. I ate the whole carrot cake (delicious) hunkering down during the hurricaine Rita. Yes I did feel bloated, but day later I was OK.
Herbert Shelton said that if you ate a little cake once do not feel guilty, because the guilty complex will do more harm to your body that cake itself. The catch - the frequency. Once in 6 month is not a problem if you are in good shape. It will not kill you. The good remedy after non-raw "sin" is to fast day or two after sin. That will clean your pipes in a hurry.
Good luck to you.
And Jesus said to her, "Neither do I condemn you, go and sin no more."
John 8:11

[nemo]

hey bethany...i can deffinitly relate, having been '100%' for the last 5 years (i now no longer count things like dehydrated powders, snacks, herbs, and oils as 'raw'... i also like to eat some of them, and they make me feel great, so i am unimpressed by the '100%' raw label) somewhere around 3 years i decided to experiment with a little cooked veggie food... although nothing disasterous happened to me i deffinitly noticed cravings that lasted for 2 weeks from a single meal of organic buckwheat noodles... i was like 'whoa! i didn't even enjoy that meal that much...why do i want more?' and a deffinite 'deadening' effect the next day...

i've eaten simply, i've eaten everyday for months at rawfoods restaurants, i've lived for months on snozzberrysupercalifargelicious superfood smoothies, i've been a 'fastarian' (eating only enough to keep me going between fasts)... (in all fairness i've never tried mr.graham's 8-1-1, but i've eaten plenty of 'high fruit low fat' periods)

...in the end i've decided that rawfoods is best done on an evolving basis, and that trying to stick to any one plan 'for the rest of my life' is going to create stress over time...

i know that i feel much better when i'm eating nutrient dense foods, like dark dark leafy greens, and wild foods. going lightly on the nuts, and avoiding complicated recipies... for instance when i want something sweet, i go for blueberries, or blackberries over apples, and oranges, and melons...

i have to give up the coveted '100% raw' title now that i like herbal teas, and such... does that mean i cook my 'food'? no way... all the 'FOOD' i eat is raw!

i'm just not obessessed with what all the other rawfoodies will think anymore. ::shrug:: it's no big deal.

can i live without the 'nonraw' herbs, and supplements? sure. i did it for years... did 100% raw eating give me magic powers? naw, i had those already...

you might want to consider doing a brief juice fast, or what ever kind of cleanse you feel comfortable with to 'get the joy back', and then when ever you're feeling kooky, and want to eat something other than mono-whatever whipping up your favorite recipie from alissa's book, or whatever... juicing can be a great way to add fun into your diet... try juicing a daikon with some ginger, and celery, and then tell me it was 'boring' hahaha...

you know instead of cloistering ourselves in '100% raw only' exclusive monestaries deep inside the bananna fields of fiji (i've heard raw lecturers suggest this, no foolin') we have to go out and make a living where people are activiely tempting us to overconsume poisonous junk... there's mental stress involved...

food is such an emotional issue, and i've discovred that the longer i do this thing, the more of my own personal issues around food, and healing i am forced to deal with... i know people who just aren't ready to handle it, and quit raw because they don't want to face certain things about themselves, and society... i also know people who totally freak out, and can't function, and use raw as an obessessional excuse (it's not the diet, it's the person)

go easy on yourself bethany... and drink plenty of water LOL...

nemo

[askcassyfirst]

Ditto nemo. very well put.

Bethany, I totally agree with what nemo just wrote, that finding the joy is really where it is at. Finding your comfort level, in however you choose to integrate raw into your life. Have faith that your body will tell you what it wants and needs, just be sure to listen... :)

I went raw in 2003, inspired by stories such as your own, that a clean raw diet, in addition to all the other cleansing habits in my life, would lead me toward greater health. I was "100%" for some time, and then realized that there were certain limitations imposed by that term that I just can't hang with. Since then, I eat what I call high raw. Nearly all I eat is what you all would call raw, but then I fill in at times with things that some would call unorthodox. BUt it is those very exceptions that make high raw work for me. I have found health and peace, and as nemo put it, I found this from within, not from something I can get from the opinions of others looking on...

Have faith...

Cassy :)

[Maverick]

Nemo and Cassy, thanks for two great posts! :) It's inspirational and encouraging to read them. It really makes sense not stress out about being 100% all time. :)

Thanks,
Dave

[yeahbethany]

Thank you so much for your encouraging words and insights, everybody. I've sort of come to similar conclusions...most of us can't be too strict with ourselves without going a bit crazy or obsessive, and that is NOT what I want to be.

Nemo, and Cassy, your posts were so helpful. It was really helpful to hear that other people have gone through the same process. Very inspirational.

All of your posts were so encouraging...THANK YOU!

[stephbkr]

I agree, any mental stess/guilt over eating a non raw item is worse than the cooked food you just consumed and enjoyed! I am too learning to be patient with myself during my transition and am inspired by those who have been raw for so long and don't stress over herbal teas... I'm learning what balance is for myself and not anyone else.

As for the cravings during the colder weather, Aryuveda says that in order to balance our doshas during the colder seasons (fall, winter) to increase protein in the diet. Maybe more sprouted grains? And also to keep our tissues lubed while vata is high with sesame oil (and use it everywhere! skin, mouth, eyes ,nose, anus). Coconut oil is too cooling for this time of year. Just yet another perspective on how and why the mind-body may be speaking so loudly, no, yelling it's cravings!

[rawibo]

thank you.
a very inspiring thread.

[Rawkinlocs]

To Bethany,

Everyone here has already given you some good stuff to chew on. I just wanted to say that you know that most, if not all, of us have been where you are. Just remember to not get into that whole guilt, blame, shame game and just keep on keepin' on!

[Gosia]

It happenned to me too, that is, I did lose the joy, and then found it again. Actually, it happenned more than once, and I begin to understand why.

For example, I once thought that I was losing my appetite for bananas, only to discover that the ones I was eating were not ripe enough. For quite a while, I thought that apples are not my desriable food. Then, not long ago, I bought a different type of apples and discovered that I like apples. So, I am learning that the choice of food I buy is crucial. If something is not truly yummy, then most likely it is either underripe, overripe, or I am not hungry, the last alternative leading to another issue. That is, overeating, or, eating when not really hungry. It simply can't be enjoyable, and will bore one sooner or later. In such case, as others suggested, fasting may be a good way of getting the balance back.

All the best,
Gosia.

[RawTruth]

hey bethany...i can deffinitly relate, having been '100%' for the last 5 years (i now no longer count things like dehydrated powders, snacks, herbs, and oils as 'raw'... i also like to eat some of them, and they make me feel great, so i am unimpressed by the '100%' raw label) somewhere around 3 years i decided to experiment with a little cooked veggie food... although nothing disasterous happened to me i deffinitly noticed cravings that lasted for 2 weeks from a single meal of organic buckwheat noodles... i was like 'whoa! i didn't even enjoy that meal that much...why do i want more?' and a deffinite 'deadening' effect the next day...

i've eaten simply, i've eaten everyday for months at rawfoods restaurants, i've lived for months on snozzberrysupercalifargelicious superfood smoothies, i've been a 'fastarian' (eating only enough to keep me going between fasts)... (in all fairness i've never tried mr.graham's 8-1-1, but i've eaten plenty of 'high fruit low fat' periods)

...in the end i've decided that rawfoods is best done on an evolving basis, and that trying to stick to any one plan 'for the rest of my life' is going to create stress over time...

i know that i feel much better when i'm eating nutrient dense foods, like dark dark leafy greens, and wild foods. going lightly on the nuts, and avoiding complicated recipies... for instance when i want something sweet, i go for blueberries, or blackberries over apples, and oranges, and melons...

i have to give up the coveted '100% raw' title now that i like herbal teas, and such... does that mean i cook my 'food'? no way... all the 'FOOD' i eat is raw!

i'm just not obessessed with what all the other rawfoodies will think anymore. ::shrug:: it's no big deal.

can i live without the 'nonraw' herbs, and supplements? sure. i did it for years... did 100% raw eating give me magic powers? naw, i had those already...

you might want to consider doing a brief juice fast, or what ever kind of cleanse you feel comfortable with to 'get the joy back', and then when ever you're feeling kooky, and want to eat something other than mono-whatever whipping up your favorite recipie from alissa's book, or whatever... juicing can be a great way to add fun into your diet... try juicing a daikon with some ginger, and celery, and then tell me it was 'boring' hahaha...

you know instead of cloistering ourselves in '100% raw only' exclusive monestaries deep inside the bananna fields of fiji (i've heard raw lecturers suggest this, no foolin') we have to go out and make a living where people are activiely tempting us to overconsume poisonous junk... there's mental stress involved...

food is such an emotional issue, and i've discovred that the longer i do this thing, the more of my own personal issues around food, and healing i am forced to deal with... i know people who just aren't ready to handle it, and quit raw because they don't want to face certain things about themselves, and society... i also know people who totally freak out, and can't function, and use raw as an obessessional excuse (it's not the diet, it's the person)

go easy on yourself bethany... and drink plenty of water LOL...

nemo
You've hit on major important points, Nemo -- and with a really funny writing voice. I like how you brought up the emotional issues that can be discovered even after years ... and I also like how you didn't bash other folks who are all raw.

So glad you chose not to run off to those Fijian banana fields. :p

[nemo]

oh, but i am 'all raw'...

...i just also choose to reconize that alot of the stuff marketed as 'raw' to us over the years actually aren't, and i still enjoy some of those things too

my main point is that if anyone finds themselves in Bethany's situation freaking out feeling guilty, or angry can create challenges to getting back to what she believes to be her healthiest lifestyle...

all the shouting, and denouncing of alternative approaches (between raw sects, of non-raw approaches) really just slows down our own personal achivement of excellent health...

just an idea...

nemo

[RawTruth]

oh, but i am 'all raw'...

...i just also choose to reconize that alot of the stuff marketed as 'raw' to us over the years actually aren't, and i still enjoy some of those things too

my main point is that if anyone finds themselves in Bethany's situation freaking out feeling guilty, or angry can create challenges to getting back to what she believes to be her healthiest lifestyle...

all the shouting, and denouncing of alternative approaches (between raw sects, of non-raw approaches) really just slows down our own personal achivement of excellent health...

just an idea...

nemoYeah, I knew you were "all raw" from reading your post. And I know exactly what you mean about some people who advocate one way of being raw and not just rejecting other approaches, but badmouthing them.

We had a discussion a while back on here about the different labels (high raw, 95%, e.g. ) -- I think when there were a bunch of folks who were complaining that being raw wasn'tall it was cracked up to be ... but then it turned out that they weren't 100%. Sigh. See, there I go with using a percentage. BUT, I do think that's an important distinction. You are "all raw" or "100%" as am I. So we, then, make daily decisions about using Nama Shoyu or other not technically raw (but sometimes living) products and so we hesitate to label ourselves honestly "all raw." But, we're as raw as possible or as we choose to be without moving to Fiji!

Whereas others are still eating some cooked foods and they get hooked into this discussion thinking that you're justifying their not-raw status. And they're actually putting down an all-raw lifestyle. Ya know what I mean?

[Sharon in Colorado]

I've always preferred the term 'all' raw over '100%'. The latter presumes that not one thing that could possibly have been denatured will pass my lips, and that is so far from the truth for me.

I have referred to myself as a vegetarian while eating cooked - I'm sure I've had rice cooked in chicken stock at one point - it didn't make me a meat eater, and I've never heard anyone use that term with percentages.

[swingbolder]

Hi Bethany,

I wish I had some advice for you, I'm kind of in the same boat right now. I've been raw since last December, then slipped up a bit over the summer when I was staying with my parents for a month, one cooked meal turned into two and three and four, and for a few weeks there I was down to about 50% raw. . . which was enuf to put me back into the myriad health problems I had before I went raw.

I was eating cooked food that I used to love, and it wasn't very appetizing to me, yet I still craved it. Finally, I went back to 100% about a month ago, and while I'm regaining my super raw health, I'm just feeling so blah about the food in the aesthetic sense, I really feel you when you said:

"Does anyone have any thoughts on how to find the joy again?"

Basically, I am mourning not being able to eat the old foods I used to enjoy. Feeling like I'm stuck on this really bland diet, like an old person in a nursing home who can only have liquid food, like a parapelegic who can no longer make love to his wife. Missing the daily physical pleasure of just eating tasty, comforting food.

So rather than focusing on that I'm just trying to be thankful for the abundant health that raw foods give me, and am hoping this feeling will pass. I feel that being brutally honest to myself about this last point, is helping me deal with it. Rather than trying to recreate those paradisical feelings I had on raw before. This is a new thing for me.

My husband, on his weekly trips to NY brings home gourmet food from the raw restaurants, but money is tight and that's not a permanent solution.

Hang in there, things will right themselves. I guess it's a process.

[rawpriestess]

Bethany, as a rawfoodist, who has gone on and off the wagan a few times, I feel like I have some experience in what you may be going through.

One of the things that I learned, as many people have said is that it is a process, but it is also an emotional process.

Not just a foods process.

One thing that you may or may not have looked at, is "for what purpose" did you eat the cooked food, and I don't believe it was because it was there and smelled good, I mean good smelling cooked food has been there for 2 years, so far, and you didn't touch it.

I think that there is something underlying that eating situation.

it may be the stress of the marathon, or something about your job, or your relationship, but I do think that the eating cooked food had a specific purposed for you, probably to push down some feelings of stress or inadiquacies.

I know that's how it works for me. When I am in a stressful situation, I REALLY WANT COOKED, and the reason I know this, is because the cooked I grab isn't even my favorite cooked, it is just what is available.

I have always been very finicky about my foods, what it is, how it is prepared, etc. So, when I grabbed some melted fake nacho cheese on warmed corn chips, (that I wouldn't have eaten ever in my vegetarian life) I KNEW IT MEANT SOMETHING. It was the only cooked food handy, and I grabbed it, this was months ago, I'd been raw 60 days, (nothing like your 2 years) but still a long enough time frame to truly notice what I was really wanting,

It wasn't the cooked food, it was the comfort and familiarity of that cooked food.

It took me several months to get back to raw, then I did it again, ate cooked, again it was massively stressfull in my life, (but then it always is) I have deadlines, appearances, contracts, alot of stuff that I've never had to deal with before, or at least in such large numbers. And it is happening every day for me.

So, I MUST make a choice, to eat raw, or to feel comfortable, so I am doing my best to do both, to find some raw comfort foods. That is the true trick question.

What is my raw comfort food? And then I need to have it available when I need it, which is most every day.

Good luck to you, you have always been such an inspiration on this board.

I know you'll do great in your marathon, and continuing raw lifestyle.

[VeggieGirl]

Ditto on Cassy's post - I was hard core 100% raw several months - and now I do occassionally eat a few things that are not (but still vegan) and that keeps it in balance for me.

Bethany, I had a similar experience this spring when I went through a major family crisis - started eating some cooked vegan stuff like some pasta, bread, etc. Funny thing is, I got the WORST allergies this fall and felt miserable. So I went back to pretty much 100% raw and POOF, the allergies are gone. Now I know!

What I have found with respect to staying raw is that it really helps to create opportunities for yourself to teach/share raw foods with others. EVen if its at your own workplace. It keeps your "hiney on the liney" when others are looking to you for raw support. Volunteer to teach a class at the local health food store, or host a Veggie Nite at your house or SOMETHING. I have 2 assistants at work who now nearly expect to try something raw every week and they totally look forward to it... crackers, cookies, candy, spreads, whatever. Give yourself a reason to experiment and keep playing in the kitchen.

The other thing to try is this: Buy a LOT of one particular fruit that you like. I mean, a LOT! Hubby and I bought a whole bushel of peaches at the farmers market last week - and you have to get creative or that food will go bad. So we cut it up and freeze it, dry slices, turn it into fruit leather, make raw pies, shakes, smoothies...whatever. And I can't justify eating out (my weakness) knowing that I have a ton of fruit at home that needs to be eaten. But that's just my personality style - I have to put myself 'on the hook' or I lose motivation fast.

That's it for now -

Cheers,
VeggieGirl

[sport]

"Basically, I am mourning not being able to eat the old foods I used to enjoy. Feeling like I'm stuck on this really bland diet, like an old person in a nursing home who can only have liquid food, like a parapelegic who can no longer make love to his wife. Missing the daily physical pleasure of just eating tasty, comforting food."

I was saddened to read this as this is not how I see my future. I do not have any health problems driving me to eat raw but I like it. I enjoy my food as much now as I did when I ate cooked. Maybe you are not eating the right things.