I got me the Raw Food Blues.

[katchmoleen]

After 9 months all raw and 1 month high raw, I am singing the raw food blues. It started after I had surgery and did not have anyone to fix me good raw food. I survived on salads and carrot sticks and a green smoothie now and then (but I was not really supposed to even use the blender or a knife or anything....I had severe activity restrictions and I am ashamed to say my family did not step up to the plate) but it was easy to have a baked potato whatever else my family cooked for themselves. Now that I am back to caring for myself, I find myself resentful of the effort that being raw takes. I am irritated by needing to fix my family their cooked food but not being able to eat it myself. While I am grateful for all that raw has done for me, I am resentful that I have to eat this way to maintain my health, while my husband, 55 years old and 170 pounds of muscle, can eat what he wants and is very healthy (he does eat a healthy whole foods diet though). I am really in a wa wah poor me mode. I KNOW I NEED to eat this way. I made shrimp alfredo for my daughter's birthday the other day and I had some, and the next day I literally could barely get out of bed and was "hung over" all day. I do not want to undo all I have achieved. So how do I start feeling the love again? If you have been there and done that, let me know what helped. I have set a date, next Monday, to go back to 100% raw, and I will start posting on the challenge thread. So I know I will be all raw in practice again. I just want to be all raw in spirit and joy too.

I think this time of year does not help. I am sick of winter, and we had a snowstorm on Tuesday and still have 6 inches of snow on the ground. But my garden will not be producing anything for several months. I know that once the garden is in full swing being raw will be much easier. So I have the winter blues in addition to the Raw Food Blues.

[FreedomSeeker]

Katch! Would you believe it if I told you it was almost a relief to read this post? You and I started at similar times, but my slope has been more slippery than yours. It's a relief to know that my struggles are not unusual.

I totally know what you mean about resenting fixing food for your family that you can't even eat. I go through that daily. Often I tell my family that I am willing to make a big salad, and if anyone wants more with their meal, they can feel free to make it. But often I make their cooked food. Sometimes it smells really good...and sometimes I take just that one little taste.

What helps me always turn back to raw is that it affects how I feel immediately when I eat cooked. Cooked anything. A handful of crackers leave me hung over the next day. I felt so foggy for so much of my life, and I think it is just that my body never liked cooked food. I did, though, and that makes it hard!

The only thing I know to do is get right back on. Start making yourself and abundance of raw foods and snacks. I find that when I have several choices available, cooked food loses its appeal.

Hang in there! You've been an inspiration to me and, I'm sure, many others. Take care of yourself so that you can take care of others. You might ask your family to help more with the raw food prep. You've performed many countless tasks for them over the years, sometimes it should be your turn to receive!

[Ravani]

I'm sorry things are rough for you now, Katchmolene. I posted the same feelings, if not the same scenario, only a week ago.

I found out from Freelee about eating a LOT more fruit. I was raised on about 2 pieces of fruit per week, and canned veggies at dinner. I DID NOT COME ON BOARD KNOWING ABOUT EATING HEALTHY!

Raw felt wonderful to me for awhile. I lost some weight and felt great. But then I started to feel lethargic, moody, heavy. I thought my thyroid was acting up again. Maybe it was, but if so, it was because of my diet. I've come to realize I was ingesting mostly fats. It's easy to do on raw gourmet. I was off on my own with all my recipe books. When I had my one salad per day, I'd put on more and more dressing. Although I had been doing raw smoothies, I found out the collards I had every day for 3 months or more were no good for thyroid. Anyway, I had no one close by to tell me my eating habits were destroying me again, raw or not.

This is getting too long, but I think the best thing to break the madness is to take a trip to banana island - or whatever mono fruit diet you'd like best for two weeks. (Preferably sweet and juicy.) Within such a short amount of time, I've seen my symptoms begin to fade and a desire to exercise return. With only the mono food to digest, my body can restore itself.

I survived on salads and carrot sticks and a green smoothie now and then

but those things, great as they are, do not offer enough calories. They leave me craving.

I think there are others suffering, too. I wonder if some were naturally drawn to fruits and vegetables, thus saving them this sort of problem. Me, I didn't know that every time I wanted something sweet, and every time I craved cooked food it was actually fruit I needed. I'm grateful Freelee found me.

Best of luck to you whatever path you take.

[ReneeH]

My Dear Katchmoleen!

We're ALL imperfect! The most important thing is to continue on the path you've chosen to go. Don't think of if as starting "over"... This is a JOURNEY you're on. Accept the past food choices and continue on RAW. It's all about new choices!

I find that re-reading Alissa's book helps me keep my focus on being RAW. I also have to cook for my family, but I don't focus on their food. Just think of yourself as you were like working in a resteraunt. That works for me...

Also, find someone to encourage to eat RAW!!! That also works for me! If there is no one at home you can build up, try posting on a thread on this site! The more you find yourself talking about RAW the more excited you'll be with remaining RAW yourself!!! Helping others always leads to helping yourself!!!

Don't worry! You did it once, you CAN do it again!!! :)

HUGS,
Nee'

[christinajade]

Katchmoleen, this is one of the reasons I am 90% raw. I feel, for me, it is much easier, being with a cooked family. Some people can do 100%, some less, some short term and some long term. You sound very wise. I think you will know what is best for you in the end. I tried the 100% raw thing and it didn't work for me. I eat just enough cooked foods, now and then to satisfy me and not resent cooking for anyone. IMO, there is no need to stress and be unhappy over 100%. If you step down and allow yourself to have a few things here and there, it might make you happier. Just a thought. It worked for me. :)

[ReneeH]

I feel ya, christinajade!

I'm Raw... I don't put a % on it. I'm as RAW as I can be for me. I make the best choices I can with what I have. Yea, I eat Cashews, Agave, Nama Shoyu, Cacao... Maybe I'm not 100% as some call 100%...I don't care. I eat what's best for *ME*. :D

[Dimond]

Suggestion for future situations when you have notice, is to make all your raw meals beforehand so you don't have to rely on anyone or eat the wrong thing. It's all really effortless when we plan. Soups, smoothies, juice, and pudding are great for during and after a hospital stay and all freeze well.

If it's a last minute or emergency situation, enlist at least one person to help you. There's got to be someone that cares enough to assist if you explain how important it is for your recovery. Or offer to do it in exchange for a favor or money or something. Just try to keep it simple for them.

Now you can do the same thing. Spend some time and fun creating raw meals & snacks for a week or more to get you back on track.

[DebB]

I haven't read the other posts, but I was wondering if you had a Raw Food Meetup in your area? I'm still trying to get one going in my area. It's SO MUCH fun talking and sharing with other like minded folks! Wishing you all the best Katch! *Ü*

[CathyA.]

Hang in there girl!!! It's going to be okay. We all grow through these moments.

[Rawcstacy]

Kathleen, I wish I could eat with you there in Montana(except for the freezing cold parthttp://smileyjungle.com/smilies/ill0.gif (http://smileyjungle.com)). HUG {} for you.


I KNOW I NEED to eat this way. I made shrimp alfredo for my daughter's birthday the other day and I had some, and the next day I literally could barely get out of bed and was "hung over" all day. I do not want to undo all I have achieved.

Personally 70, 80, 90% raw doesn't work for me. I KNOW it doesn't for you either because the beautiful thing about being 100% raw is that my nightly sleep has fallen from 7 hours to 5 hours in the last five weeks of being 100% raw!! 2 hours more to live every day! I KNOW if I eat anything cooked again, I'll be back in bed too!

[katchmoleen]

Thanks everyone. I am grateful for the support. I know it will help to start posting in the challenge again. That always keeps me honest. I also had a big green smoothie today and realized it was my first one in about two weeks! I have been traveling a lot and busy with birthdays and holidays and just have not taken the time to make one. It really hit the spot. So back to my daily green smoothies. Next monday I am going to have a raw food prep day, which I enjoy and have not done for awhile. Also gonna get out my books and read them. I have a number of ebooks that I have not made a single recipe from, so I just need to get back to making some good raw food and quit whining. I realized today that it is also just that "time" (ahem :o) to feel blue and I will probably feel lots better in a week or so. I am also ramping up my exercise by joining a challenge over on T-Tapp, and I know that will make me feel better. I got on the scale today and it was up 8 pounds in the last 2 weeks due to all the travel and a lot of sitting in the car and eating travel (translate "junk") food. I took a group of teens for a college trip to Nebraska for 5 days. So that brought me up short and I want to stop this before it goes any further. I am confident the weight is mostly water and bloat and will come off quickly, but it brought me up short! :eek:

[Green_Woman]

I do not want to undo all I have achieved.

Rest, relax... you won't. Your Body has many months of raw health and vitality behind it, and this is a strong foundation as you continue to find your health path.

Release the resentment and the anger - forgive your family for being un-supportive. Very often, our family causes us great pain without even realising their impact.

We're here - we LOVE you, Kathy, and even though we may not be in your kitchen preparing you food this second, we're HERE for you to help you find easy recipes, send you our Love, and write you silly messages on Facebook to bring you joy and a sense of Community!!!

Grab Alissa's book - read the first few chapters again. Then remember her lovely words: Relax, eat Raw, and LIVE!!!

*hug*

[lovenlife]

Kathamoleen....Hi....YOU are great and we love you!! You will do this because you are one powerful woman. Powerful women take care of their health and so much more.

Look and dwell on all you have gained on raw. Think about all you have lost (aches pains weight) and make a committment to hold that. It is special for sure.

When you look at going back to all that, might be a deterrant.

I wish I knew you were not having your food while sick. I would have come there and been your raw food chef and take care of you!!!!

This is just another piece of raw life. No starting Monday mentality on raw. Just start now, eating one raw food after another! Its all good.

YOU are a precious gem Kath,,so take care of YOU! Love you lots, Bette

[LNdolls]

It sounds to me like this emotional backlash is actually about your family not stepping up to the plate and supporting you the way you wanted and needed them to do. Raw is not too hard, but you needed help... and there are bad feelings and Heaven forbid you blame the people you love for their lack of action - blame Raw - it has wide shoulders.
This is when EFT tapping would be what I turn to first... to release the sadness and resentment toward your family. And then make plans to be able to get the needed support now and for next time.
No blame for eating what you did.. you needed to bond and feel secure with your family. Baked potatoes are big time bonding and soothing food from my past.
Why would your family bother doing anything extra - especially if you don't ask/insist?? You are not blaming them... you have found you don't want to do it either. It is too hard for you to get the food you need to thrive. Too hard to make a smoothie, too hard to be healthy... you want too much! You are too needy. No wonder they did not give it. No wonder you don't want to bother now, either. You are just like them.


Except you are not. You have found that eating raw makes you feel much better. You have found you like and want to feel that way. You have been willing to make the effort to take that good care of yourself. They don't have to - not because they don't need or want to feel good or because raw would not help them thrive even more - but BECAUSE THEY HAVE YOU TO DO IT FOR THEM.
See, you don't have a mom/wife to take care of you. If you did, then she would make you your special meals, and take extra special good care of you after surgery.
She would make you smoothies... or any other nutritious thing you needed as you healed.

I was raw and visited my sister... she was hostile in action... had no raw food for me, ate all the bananas before they were ripe enough for me... and her husband followed suit. I caved and ate cooked during the visit. And felt awful.

It is not raw that is to blame here... and even though the issues of taking care of ourselves are big and can easily lead us astray of the raw path... I can see where feeling neglected and uncared for can and does make for slipping off the raw path. If they don't bother... why should I?

Okay, this turned into a bit of a rant. I feel it for me, too.

[kgarrett]

Do you have a CSA near where you live. It might be a little bit late to get in but, I think that some will take you if you fall below a certain income level and since you have such a large family that income will be pretty high.

If you have room for a garden - they can save money but, mine often don't. I wasn't 100% raw last year so I think that this year it will. Depending on your climate you can grow your own organic greens very easily and cheaply. I wouldn't get too complicated if you haven't done much gardening before but, you can save so much money on organic greens by growing them yourself!!

I was so impressed by your story on the before and after - keep up the great work!

[Revvell]

I agree with the CSA if you've got one nearby. What a difference having one has made for me. I receive produce I wouldn't normally purchase so, I have to create new meals for myself.

Also, and I know this sounds cold yet, methinks your family "should" make their own food. If someone doesn't support me in my life, well, they're on their own.

One more thing... if you can come out to Ca or some other sunny place where lots of raw food is available, take a couple of weeks to do so if you can. It's called taking care of you!

[lovenlife]

I second the motion. CA and taking care of you !!!

[katchmoleen]

Oh, my, I only WISH I could come to CA! I actually have a brother who lives in an almond orchard near Capay CA and he is long overdue a visit, but it is just not possible now. The taking care of myself part, I can do. Thanks Bette (love you!) and Revell and everybody.
The resentment against my family is right on the money. I do so much for them, and for them to not even think about fixing me food after two major surgeries just burned my biscuits. I did ask several times. One time my (RAW) daughter turned me down flat because "I don't like that soup." ARG! And my husband took a 4 day business trip just three days after my second surgery, the day after I came home, after I had specifically asked him not to take any trips! And he "forgot" to tell me and I found out AFTER he left! ( he didn't do it maliciously and felt bad when I called him in a sobbing heap, but he just doesn't THINK sometimes). So I had to rely on my teens to take care of me during the worst part of my recovery. It was a really low point. My teens love me but teens are egocentric and not about to baby mom the way she needs it. I mean, like, EWWW.

[klomasius]

That's crap, I really feel for you!

If my mum was in that situation, I'd gladly travel down to her town and help her out (I'd have to pull some major work/kid minding strings but meh), or at the very least make sure she had people to take care of her and send down a care package.

No wonder you've got the blues! :(

Try to take care of yourself as much as you can, eat raw as much as you can manage, and DO NOT beat yourself up when you don't manage to.

Eventually you'll be sliding back on to the path of success once again, think of it that way and it helps.

I wish you all the best katch, you'll be back to your sunny, positive self in no time! :D

[lovenlife]

Kath. I heard that in your words. I have experienced this as well. I will spare you all the details, as we all have life disappointments.

It is only when we EXPECT others to be a certain way or do something because we did so much for them, that there is pain. If we dont lookf or it nor expect it (even though it sure feels like it is a given that it will) then, when it does, a blessing. If it doesnt, oh well.Doing with no expectation of receiving back is awesome. Please submit the 65 dollars for this advice...hahaahaha oops you still have 50 minutes to go!

Maybe you didnt nurture YOU in that time of need. Were you still trying to care for others in it all? Probably. Just releasing all that and saying "I need rest, or I need to heal in peace and quiet, or whatever it was. Drawing a line.



And making a powerful request for the foods you needed. Perhpas they might have got you a whole bunch of simple fruits in a basket by the bed. Other simpler items.

Anyway it is past now and best leaving it there.

Only YOU can choose to press on with raw, regardelss of all they did or didnt do. Why not do the best you can for your body? Or are you beating on you for all they failed to do? Hmmm they werent so nice to me so now I wont be so nice to me, as if it was my fault somehow..yuk.

Love you, take care of you....cuz really, you know how to do that the best!
Oh, and next time, CALL ME and I come out there and take care of you and make you all kinds of raw stuff!

[lodestar]

so many wise, kind, compassionate responses here. thank you for sharing. ccc