View Full Version : the illusion of Peer Presure to eat SAD food
04-12-2010, 12:31 AM
I just wanted to bring up something that I find is one of the only things standing in the way of me being entirely RAW.
I put a lot of pressure on myself to eat SAD food when I am around others who eat it.
-I live with people who are heavy SADers.
-I work as a waitress in a chinese restaurant (although I never ever eat their food, all of my waitress friends do and give me a lot of trouble for the way I live/eat. They cast me out. I'm an oddball)
-My parents are heavy SAD eaters.
-My boyfriend's parents (who invite us to dinner at least once a week) are SAD eaters.
How do I avoid the pressure I put on myself to not seem like an outcast by refraining from eating what people serve me (at dinner parties), to not feel so inclined to show respect for my peers BY eating what they do when we are sitting together?
It's a long standing tradition in my life (I'm sure it is with most in western culture) to eat together, share food as a way to enjoying the company of others.
I have full confidence in eating RAW. I truly believe that it's the best way to feed your body. The issue is not losing, or the lack of, faith in myself and how I live. It is, losing social contact with others. becoming an outsider. and let's be honest, I'm a bit of a pushover. I like to make others happy, and also, for some reason, I think that if I don't give in and eat what they do, they won't enjoy my company.
04-12-2010, 04:19 AM
Sorry to say it in this harsh words, but I expirienced something similiar, BUT I gave and give a sh..
I'm not on a mission to proselytise someone, I pay them respect even if I have a different opinion. Again BUT, I do expect the same respect for my choice.
BTW, GOD gave you two ears, one for in one for out..... don't let it affect you, you alreadu know about the benefits of rawfood. You cannot pressure anyone to be lucky, they have to expirience it by themselfs, you just can be an example of goodlooking, perfect skin and so on.
I understand it is hard, but I wish you all the strength and best for your way.
04-12-2010, 05:33 AM
I think sometimes it isn't really that people would react badly (though sometimes they do), but that we fear they might. In those cases it isn't really about them but about us and our own insecurities.
Eating raw socially in this society does present challenges but if you approach it with a very positive, confident manner...as in, "no big deal, this is just what I eat", I find people are very accepting...yes, you will stand out sometimes but that doesn't mean you have to stand apart.
As for the ones who do truly make you feel uncomfortable try to remember that while it is good to respect and honor others it is more important to honor yourself. Wishing you the best~
04-12-2010, 06:54 AM
"no big deal, this is just what I eat"
You reminded me about something, I have never heard a discussion between two people, because this one eats apples and the other peaches, or this one eats rice and that one pasta.
So why should we discuss it?
And additionally, because of us they do not have to kill an animal or to maltreat it, to pervert the nutritions of a living food to an unrecognisable condition or similiar things.
I do not want to discredit other people it's their way, but be proud of what YOU chose.
I understand where you are coming from. And I echo GlimR in saying just be confident with your choices. This is how you are choosing to eat, period. I understand how difficult it might feel because it brings up insecurities in others. (Personally, when I first did raw my husband (then fiance) bemoaned the "loss of his playmate" as we would often go out to eat together or share bottles of nice wine.) Now however, I'm raw again, and he totally supports me. I've been raw for 50+ days and I am very encouraging that we go out to eat if/when he wants to. I express excitement for the raw salad (or whatever) that I KNOW I'll be eating. I also occasionally have a sip of wine or two (no more) when he drinks some, and express how tasty it is so I can still somehow partake in his experience. When I smell cooked food at my MIL's, for example, I always say how wonderful it smells, and how great everything looks. (She at this point is used to me not eating her food and is happy I bring my own dinner, cause she doesn't know what to feed me.)
I guess what I'm sharing with you is that I am excited, content and happy about my lifestyle choices... and I don't disparage other's choices (doesn't sound like you do either)... I believe that this air of confidence of "this is how things are for me" goes a long way.
04-12-2010, 10:42 AM
you guys are right.
I think I might not have been expressing ENOUGH confidence in my choices in the face of others.
If I can be okay with what others feed themselves, I should get the same respect in return, but either way, I like my choices.
thanks. I'll hold onto to this thought.
04-12-2010, 10:59 AM
I explained to my sis-in-law that I have problems with how I feel if I don't eat raw. She understood and respected that. What a person puts in his or her own body is a personal choice.
04-12-2010, 11:17 AM
-I work as a waitress in a chinese restaurant
OMG!! How do you manage? The smells alone would do me in. :D:D
Just stay strong, sistah!! I think the 'journey of raw' peels away these types of layers and how we view ourselves that SAD covers up so well....so get comfy with your choices because at the end of the day, you are the ONLY one who knows what is best for you.
Yeah, I'm the weird odd person out in my whole area/city. It will change eventually as people become more aware, but in the meantime, I just had to learn to be the one person who does this stuff.
Pioneers get the arrows, settlers get the land. :)
04-12-2010, 09:04 PM
I also work in a restaurant. They just smell like "work" after a while. No biggie.
04-12-2010, 09:18 PM
BTW, GOD gave you two ears, one for in one for out
STRONGLY LOVE THAT!!!!!!!
(for many areas in life)
04-13-2010, 09:12 AM
yo girlfriend, my DH and i went raw this year and we too go over to the parents for dinner often. what i learned was that they actually thought raw and vegetarian were the same thing. most people don't understand what raw means and they aren't really interested because their journey hasn't taken them to that point as yet. so when my DH's parents make us dinner they think they are doing a good thing. their heart is right. one day i went into the kitchen and said - mom everything smells so good. you always make your home warm and inviting. even though everything smells do delicious, i've come to understand that my body functions best when i just eat a big salad. would it be okay if you go ahead and cook your dinner for everybody and just have an extra big salad on the table? this ended up being the key. she just didn't know how to cook for me. once she understood that a salad was all i needed we've been MUCH better, not perfect but better. they still ask if i wouldn't like some of the green bean casserole etc. because they think all veggies are what i eat. they just don't understand, don't want to understand but need an easy solution.
04-13-2010, 09:38 AM
i totally get this thread. over the years socializing and eating out has messed me up with raw food eating. but, i just want this raw life so much that i don't care anymore. the way my head feels let alone my body is worth thinking ahead of any given event and making this doable. i have finally figured out how to live and let live. this journey is full of twists and turns, but the learning and trying again is really quite wonderful.
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