View Full Version : I insulted someone by staying raw...
02-06-2010, 05:58 AM
I took my grandma to visit her late brother's wife today. They are both in their 80s. Three times I told my grandma to tell this lady not to prepare anything for me - that I was eating raw food. When I got there, she had prepared sausage sandwiches for my grandma and egg sandwiches for me. If it was a salad sandwich I would have eaten it, but I could never eat meat or eggs - I seriously couldn't stomach it. She used to own a big restaurant and reception centre with French chefs, so has had a lifetime of eating very rich food. I heard her tell my grandma that she hopes she is dead by 2013. She could hardly walk, had one hand seized up with arthritis, a shoulder that is shredded up inside, can't reach up to touch her hair...etc etc... I tried to explain to her about raw, but she is also quite deaf and really didn't get it. She seemed quite depressed and so did her dog, who is on medication to prevent it peeing in the house. She also had cake and biscuits, which I didn't eat. She was offended because I wouldn't even drink the apple juice from her fridge. I ended up eating a banana. I really felt I couldn't eat any of the cooked food. She went on to say how she cooked a very elaborate meal for a couple (when she was in better health) and the woman said 'We don't eat any of that food'. Then she offered them a drink and they said that they'd brought their own water. Then she went on to say how much effort she had gone to and how upset she was. She doesn't understand how people can be like that, and how she should have expected it. I apologised and said I really appreciated the effort she went to and how I just couldn't eat meat and egg - that I haven't eaten them for years - and it would make me sick. I said I told my grandma three times to make sure she didn't make anything for me - but my grandma is also quite deaf. She did say I looked very well and young for my age. It was awkward, and I felt like walking out, but I managed to change the energy by talking about something else and felt the vibe lift a lot as the day went on - that she and the dog were less depressed. I think I'll send her a card and gift though, as a way of apology. So many people can't make the link between their illnesses and what they put in their mouth. I know her health and that of her dog's would improve dramatically if they went raw, but it is like a foreign language to them - after a lifetime of eating French cuisine (her not the dog), I doubt it would ever happen and don't want to preach to someone who I know will never get it!! It took a lot of energy out of me, but I feel I uplifted her mood in the end.
02-06-2010, 06:08 AM
It is good that you had the strength to stick with your (I was going to put beliefs here but we know that it is more than that). Nothing would have been achieved by giving in. The less followed path is never the easiest.
02-06-2010, 08:08 AM
Maybe send her Alissa's book??
write her a note thanking her for a pleasant afternoon. Say you realize that she hadn't heard of the raw food movement previously and you thought she might be interested in finding out more about it. Tell her the book details the philosophy of health you are following, and that you thought as a former chef, she might be interested in the new cuisine that the raw food philosophy has launched.
It couldn't hurt! And it might help, and maybe next time you take granny over, you'll be surprised with one of Alissa's creations?
02-06-2010, 12:35 PM
You handled it very well. I have found the older people are, the less they understand. She must have thought since you don't eat meat, eggs would be good. ;) Reminds of the movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" when she tells the Aunt her fiance is a vegetarian and the Aunt says its okay, she will fix lamb. :)
My 75 year old neighbor asked me to her house for tea. I said yes, but only if she would let me bring the tea and snacks. She agreed, yet she still fixed romaine lettuce leaves filled with cream cheese and walnuts. She was incredulous when I told her I didn't eat cream cheese because it was a dairy product, and disappointed she hadn't gotten it right. Oh, well. We had a nice afternoon. The romaine was still on the table at the end of our tea party. She sent it home with me to eat later. :rolleyes:
You likely made your Grandma and her friend very happy by simply spending time with them. :)
02-06-2010, 05:47 PM
But you didn't insult your health, longevity of life & well being. ;)
02-06-2010, 06:10 PM
Reminds of the movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" when she tells the Aunt her fiance is a vegetarian and the Aunt says its okay, she will fix lamb. :)
Hahahaha Love that part. Quote it all the time :)
02-06-2010, 06:50 PM
because of the lack of edit function, i forgot to say she said 'i should have expected you'd be like them (the couple) too'...
oh, and then she went on to say how (probably around 30 years ago) her friend's schizophrenic son rode to the restaurant (it is probably 40 kms from the city set in beautiful gardens on a mountain - so it was a very long bike ride) and then she said 'he was a strange, strange boy. and then he said to me 'i only eat pineapple. that's all i will eat.' so we managed to find a pineapple for him somewhere'. :rolleyes:
anyway, it turned out well in the end. thanks for your responses guys...
02-07-2010, 12:18 AM
I have a heart for the elderly andt hink that it is important that we make an effort to honor them. But of course to thy own self be true.
So maybe a good compromise for the future would be to jsut sya you did have an appetite nd to take a plate to go. then pass that palte on to someone in need or just share at work with SAD eaters. In this economy you'd be surprised how many collegues I've known to gladly take a free meal no matter where it came from.
A snail mail thank you note is also a wonderful and maybe even an expected touch.
02-07-2010, 12:35 AM
You know what a pineapple.... sounds too nummers for comprehension right now.
02-08-2010, 01:13 AM
I think sending a card to her would be very very sweet. It is something that her generation understands and even expects. My husbands grandmother is 90 and she still makes such an effort to always sent cards and letters to everyone! It is not something that is done as much now because of email etc but it will be appreciated and a pleasant suprise for her.
Most elderly folks are very familiar with Jack Lalaine, and although i dont know if he eats a raw diet, he is certainly pretty close to it and he is a health icon to our elderly generation.
Sometimes i think that it may be easier to just tell some people that your doctor has put you on a restricted diet or that you are allergic, or for religeous reasons etc. If you were Jewish and keeping kosher for example, people should not try to talk you out of it!
(Oddly enough they will try to talk a non-Jew out of keeping kosher!!! Go figure!)
I guess some people just dont understand that sometimes we make choices for spiritual AND physical reasons- because we understand that the two are not disconnected. If we choose to eat Raw to fully honor our body as a temple, then it is not just a diet, it is a real lifestyle physically and spiritually and not something that we should compromise out of politeness.
02-08-2010, 11:51 AM
Your response resounds well with me.
02-08-2010, 10:44 PM
so, you told her not to bother to make you food. she did anyway, and you can't eat it. then YOU feel bad?
no no no....
feel better about it, you said not to bother and she did anyway, it's her own fault.
don't feel guilty because you're eating awesome food :) it's not your diet that's making her feel bad, it's that, for some reason, she felt she needed to make you food when you insisted that she not. then she made YOU feel guilty about it...
how does that equate?!
02-09-2010, 12:24 AM
Actually she insulted herself with the story she made up about why you did not eat her food.... and why the couple before you did not eat her food.
It sounds like you handled it with love for yourself and your Grandma and her friend. I say kudos!!
02-09-2010, 12:39 AM
JennaHoneyBear...I told my grandma three times, but she is quite deaf and didn't pass it on. When I said 'I told gram to tell you not to make anything' (in a nice way) she said 'Well, she didn't tell me'.
Oh, and when she told the pineapple story, that's when I was munching on a banana.
Anyway, it turned out okay in the end. I really don't think I could have given her as much positive energy as I did if I ate cooked food - that was part of the reason I was quite adamant. Listening to old people talk about their ailments for five hours takes a lot of energy. And I posted off a thank you card and gift yesterday, the card telling her how I appreciated the effort she went to, but haven't eaten eggs or meat for years and can no longer process them...then other stuff like I hope her health improves and so on...
02-09-2010, 07:14 AM
I consider a day a success if when I go to bed I feel that I have been good to my body and mind.
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