Family Issues?

[cadelmcg]

Hey, All,

I have noticed a lot of flack from some family and friends when telling them about the raw foods diet. My partner is worried that I will not have sufficient time to prepare meals etc due to our busy lifestyle and just wants to make sure I am going to be healthy. She has seen a lot of other people in her life go through "Crash" diets. I am very against crash diets. My Dad did them all growing up and they are very destructive. I think a lot of people as soon as they hear I am cutting out meat and a lot of processed foods they get concerned. I know it will be very difficult but if it means a better me than I am willing to sacrifice. A lot of people think that its not the answer. I try to explain that I am getting information from sources who have done it for years. Its not some infomercial. Regardless, anything out of the norm of acceptable American eating is looked down upon. Its funny because I updated my facebook status a few days ago to just say I am contemplating doing a Raw Foods Diet which really.. its not a diet its a lifestyle. Anyhow, so many people were contacting me saying why? No, don't listen to me you do this instead. Haha. Its funny because a lot of them don't know what it is.

Anyhow, did any of you receive flack? From Family, Friends, Partners, Husbands, Wives, Children?

My partner is always very non judging and supportive. She just wants to make sure its healthy for me.

[Jessican]

I tend to downplay the term "raw food diet" and just tell people I try to get a lot of fresh fruits and veggies in my diet. After all even SAD eaters know that "Fresh fruits and veggies" is healthy!

My husband had valid concerns (for someone who hasn't done the reasearch) And remember all these people HAVEN'T done the research. They have genuine concerns for your health. Luckily my DH accepts the fact that I DID do my own research and believes me when I say something like sprouts have more protein ounce for ounce than chicken, and it's more easily utilized by my body.

I promised to supplement in areas that I might be lacking - which just translates to a quality multivitamin and a Vit D supplement. But I'm pregnant so I feel he has a say in how his baby is raised too. KWIM?

As for any concerns other family has I tell them I did my research and I make sure I get what my body needs. Then I ask them if they want to read up on it - I'd be happy to print out some articles or lend them some books.... that usually stops them pretty quick in their tracks and they take my word for it. I just simply say "I've done my research, but I really don't feel like debating it at this moment. If you'd like, I can get you a bunch of research and information so you can read it for yourself." LOL If you are confident in yourself and your answer I haven't run into too much flack.

As for not having enough time to prepare it - I pretty much live on smoothies, salads, and whole fruits that can be eaten as-is (bananas, apples) with some dried fruits/nuts/seeds when I'm on the-go. I don't really get into all the fancy schmancy gourmet recipes - I just don't have time. But when I make my bigh produce shopping trips I come home and prepare it all. Grapes are washed and taken off the stems so I can just pour some into tupperware and take with me on the run. I buy frozen strawberies and blueberries so a fast smoothie is a bunch of mixed greens thrown into the blender and then I pile on whatever prepped fruit I have (grapes or pre-cut melon for example) with a banana and toss in a frew frozen strawberries and pour in some blueberries straight from the bag. I could make 30 smoothies in the time it takes my husband to run down the street and get "fast" food.

[Revvell]

I don't tell people what I'm doing. I'm an adult; old enough and smart enough to make my own decisions, and I make them. I don't need their permission.

Who are these ".... so many people..." who are contacting you?

So, what they are saying is they don't think you are intelligent enough to do the research?

Since you've gone and done the talk, I'd just say, "you know, I'm just doing an experiment for 30 days to see what happens. I've read so much about self-healing because I'll be getting so many more nutrients and life force energy, that I thought I'd give it a try. I'll keep you updated on my progress. Thank you for your support". Assume they will give you their support and more often than not, they will. 30 day water fasts don't kill people; at least you're eating.

Revvell

[margoss]

I agree w/Revvell. When others comments of my wt loss, skin looking better, I say 'thanks, I eat mostly fresh uncooked produce & have eliminated many things'. They inquire, I tell them but many are hesitant. I take my soups to prayer group or zucchini pasta. Many have gluten/soy intolerances that lead to issues so they just 'assume' this is why. I've never been supported when I try to improve my life by my family, when trying to lose wt-they critique me-try to tempt me-never enough,etc. NOW...it's about me & no one is allowed to be non-supportive. I do not tell them to stop coffee-smoking-alcohol-drivethrus so...many are jealous or insecure that they cannot 'live without it'. You are your main supporter, just don't push is in their faces.

[cadelmcg]

Thanks, guys, I needed that. A lot of the people coming to me are people I never really talk to.. its funny. I guess it shouldn't bother me, but it does when people make uneducated assumptions to my life. Guess I just need to let it roll off of my shoulders.

Is there a general information site/literature I could pick up that would be informative for loved ones?

[Revvell]

I'm not a guy but I'd suggest Alissa's book and dvd's. Have a home gathering and share the dvd's with them.

Also, this site. There's a WEALTH of knowledge here. So MANY people have had similar issues to yours so you might want to check out past threads.

Also, my suggestion (without being asked) is, gain more self-esteem. Those of us who don't draw this kind of attention is because of who and how we are.

[skier2]

I've never been supported when I try to improve my life by my family, when trying to lose wt-they critique me-try to tempt me-never enough,etc.

I totally don't get that--it's like people don't like to see others succeed and improve by such easy means. Sad, really.

[Beth]

I would just add--try not to let it bother you. I've also been given flack my whole life by coworkers, family, friends, etc. whether I was vegetarian, vegan,
cooked or raw. It is really kind of funny to me now because I am in my mid fifties and I was just told today that my way of eating is "eccentric". It will never end because we are perceived by some as being different. And those close to us may worry about us based upon the knowledge they have and can accept. At this stage of my life I say so be it! I like being eccentric;) I know my own body and how I feel best!

[Green_Woman]

I don't tell people what I'm doing. I'm an adult; old enough and smart enough to make my own decisions, and I make them. I don't need their permission.

This. Revvell nailed it.

I've had alot to say about this same issue in the past but tonight I'm not feelin' it in the wisdom department. :D

My simple input? STOP CARING what other people think about YOUR healthy choices for YOUR Body and YOUR Life.... let them do their thing, you do YOUR thing, and the day will come when you won't even notice their criticism, because either they'll STOP criticizing or they'll be asking you how THEY can go Raw, too. ;) (This is quite literally what has happened to me!)

What YOU Focus On, Multiplies and Expands... if you're focusing on all the Criticism from others, you will get MORE Criticism! If you focus on how wonderful your choice is for you, and how healthy you are, then your Life will overflow with Wonder and Health, and abundance will outpour from you to Others . Release the Results - just Focus on RAW.

That was kinda crass. I must be loosing my touch. :D

[T-Bird]

I've never been supported when I try to improve my life by my family, when trying to lose wt-they critique me-try to tempt me-never enough,etc.

I totally don't get that--it's like people don't like to see others succeed and improve by such easy means. Sad, really.


This brought back memories!

When I was in high school - every time I tried to diet, suddenly my mom bought all the stuff only I like to eat. A chocolate cream pie, banana cream pie, or a 1 lb bag of twizzlers.

Now - she rarely ever bought these as I was the only one in the house sho really liked them. And they'd just sit there.....for days....weeks....till I caved. After resisting for a long while, I finally figured it was best to just get through it (by eating it!) and go back to my weight loss strategies afterwards!

LOL! It took me way too long to realize I should never reveal what I was doing!

I also never learned to "pretend" to diet when I wanted these!

[domestic goddess]

I second, and third what has already been said. Really, whose business is it what you eat or don't eat? Anyone wants to give you a hard time, offer them a big ol' stfu smoothie :D

As far as your concern about it being hard to be raw...I never get this statement from people. It will be as hard as *you* make it. If you want all the fancy prepared raw meals, well yes, it will be more time consuming as you will ahve to do some prep work. If you are just going to eat raw foods, well then its as easy as going to the fridge and grabbing a piece of fruit, a handful of nuts, throwing together a big salad, etc. Takes all of 5 minutes.

If you are talking about it being hard to give up cooked foods, then that is a different beast all together. Look at *why* you think it will be so hard. WHat is it about these foods you are 'giving up' that makes you think it will be hard? Chances are, there is some emotional attatchment to the foods...because we know a raw lifestyle offers superior nutrition so giving up cooked foods is not going to affect your health in a negative way... ;)

[Amii]

I'm going to be a fresher at university in 6 months and I'll only have just turned 19 and still quite a newbie to raw foods. But I know I won't have any trouble dealing with the people there because I don't announce these things to people. I tell them I eat what I want to eat and that is no lie - do I want to eat mountains of pasta? No. Do I want to eat lovely, fresh, sweet juicy salad? Hell yes, I do!

I eat what I want and I don't label myself. I eat healthy. If you want to end the criticism just say that you're eating what you want and like.

I always think to myself, if they saw someone who ate McD's three times a week, had sugary cereal for breakfast every day, a white bread sandwich for lunch and then a microwave meal for dinner, would they say "Oh gosh you're eating so much processed foods, that's SO UNHEALTHY for you!!"? Answer, no they wouldn't because they don't know what is healthy and what's not.

[cadelmcg]

Thanks, guys. Good input. I think you are right, instead of explaining in depth I will say I am eating healthier foods. If someone wants more depth I will explain. Screw them if they don't agree. Its MY life. I do admit, I am very attached to certain foods. I am nervous to do it, but I know it will be a worthy choice. I need to choose health over food. I have always eaten meat with every meal so I am gradually eating more things like making smoothies and such.

[DopeRawAbundance]

Raw Foods... n' its da geeenneeeralll DISCUUUUUUSSSIIIIOOOOOOOOON

[Kaila]

I'm transitioning, and trying to figure out how to fit it into my social world as well!

I work in an office 5 days a week, so breakfast and lunch Mon-Fri are my responsibility and I eat with my family for dinner and on the weekends.

At the moment, I haven't mentioned my intentions to anyone beyond that I'm trying to eat a little more healthy. To start my transition, I'm focusing on eating healthy and raw for the meals I feed myself. This is Breakfast and Lunch Mon-Fri, about half the meals in my week.

My partner is a wonderful cook, and has always cooked for me, so for dinner and weekend meals I make a raw salad on half my plate, and eat a 1/2 portion of cooked family dinner. I think once I get a juicer I'll start making myself raw juice with dinner as well. I also don't eat anything after dinner until the next morning, which has really helped regulate my cravings.

This strategy seems to work for me, as my problems in the past weren't eating unhealthy or too much with other people, but bingeing on SAD foods when I was alone.