Are people mean to you for the way you eat?

[Theobroma]

you know... I don't know about you guys but sometimes I get ridiculed for eating healthy.

My old roommate use to belittle the crap out of me and tell me how much I don't NEED to eat the way I do. I made some dishes, (chocolate raw vegan tart by sarma melngailis) and saw it tasted like raw brownie batter.

My new roommate isn't as harsh with his tone ( because my old roommate seriously would get offended with me and lecture me) but he's constantly trying to get me to eat meat, and most of the stuff I make seems to be never good enough... (all he eats is stuff that comes out of a box, a can, or package). Then he argues how its not that big of a difference in health??? ARRRRG

...

..
.

someone cheer me up???

[Aleesha Sattva]

It's your choice... to see that as ignorance or as meanness...

I prefer to be sad for them... and their SAD beliefs. Even when people know inside that what they are doing is causing themselves harm... they will defend it strongly and loudly...

[OnMyJourney]

I look at my lifestyle, as it relates to food, in the same way as I see my religion/faith. I let my actions speak for themselves, I don't try to convert people and I expect the same from others. Granted, others (obviously) don't subscribe to this same theory. I can say that while some of my family members annoyed me greatly over the holidays, none of them dare treat me the way you have described. I would remind him that how he eats is his business and how I chose to eat is mine.

To try to get you to eat me is just disrespectful and to be honest, he sounds rather immature. I can't see how the way you chose to eat has any impact on his life. I wouldn't offer him any of my food, there's simply no sense in trying to "win him over."

Ultimately, this isn't about your choice of food or his. This is a matter of respect and crossing personal boundaries. Perhaps that is what you two need to discuss...and maybe a change of roommate is in order.

[EternityRider]

If the person is interested in facts, then show him some
photos of colon autopsies after a life of sad/bad eating.
If not interested in facts, then disassociate with him
(if possible) and see if he cares about you
or just about speaking his own mind.

[Bananna]

I think they just want you to tell them they are not wrong. By eating differently, for no reason like allergies or celiac disease, then you are 'saying' what they are doing is wrong...atleast that's how they take it. They are being defensive..and some people are defensive by being offensive, some rationalize, some ridicule, some retreat, etc.

There is all different types but always the underlying msg is that they feel you are judging them. And who knows, you may very well be! lol...

So just stick with the mantra of 'if what you are doing is working for you then Awesome! How lucky to find that....this is by trial and error, what is working for me...and I'm really glad to have found it.'

I find that works best of what I've tried...and it's a good way for me to look at it too...still though, I sometime have to make that extra clear, as people Really get stuck in thinking I am condescending or something when I say that I would rather not go to McDonald's or whatever.

Remember, they just want acceptance for the way they eat.

[RawKnitster]

Well said, Banana. Can I quote you sometime? :)

[Bananna]

really? Someone wants to quote Me? how exciting!...lol.

[DeniseM]

Many people feel threatened by others' attempts to improve their lives. When you eat healthy, it reminds your roommate that he does not. It's easier to avoid changing the things you know you ought to change when everyone around you is indulging in the same stuff. Seeing something radically different (like someone eating a raw food diet) forces a new awareness to emerge, and that can be pretty uncomfortable for some folks.

Just remember that when someone criticizes you or tries to get you to eat other foods, it's usually because they feel guilty. Just keep walking your path.

[DopeRawAbundance]

Just remember that when someone criticizes you or tries to get you to eat other foods, it's usually because they feel guilty.

"Projection is a psychological defense mechanism whereby one 'projects' one's own undesirable thoughts, motivations, desires, and feelings onto someone else" - Sigmund Freud

[Green_Woman]

Eh, I wouldn't even bother offering them any of my food. :D Pearls before swine and all that rot. ;)

But in all seriousness, what Aleesha said - thumbs up! And Banana and a few others...

[Revvell]

Are people mean to you for the way you eat?

No, they're not. They don't even notice.

[Mary Kay]

Very insightful Bananna.

I belong to a homeschool co-op. There are 100 people in it and we use a church. We all eat in a cafeteria room, where everyone brings their own lunch and I finally had to realize that people just weren't sitting next to me. I think it's because they were worried I would "Judge" them.

I taught some uncooking classes and we all share info in a Yahoo Group, so everyone knows my theories.

If it means anything though, quite a few have emailed me with questions. Two or three yrs ago, a very obese woman in this group, and I were talking and she didn't even know what a "vegan" was. Now she's high raw --perhaps 100% even and vegan and has lost oh, 80 lbs, is my guess.

So I have made an impact and am TRYING to not hit people over the head with a sledge hammer ----Like I'm ashamed to admit, I used to.

Mary Kay

[Mnbordergirl]

No..they were curious.

Now, after losing 36 lbs (i am still chubby), they have come to me like I am diet guru and want to try my "concotions." Now, two of them are juicing and trying green smoothies on their own.

Best way to handle "mean" or suspicious people is be kind, and keep doing your thing. When they see the improvements in your health and loss of weight, they will end up eating their words, and you didnt have to do a THING to make the karma roll around.

[Jehote]

My BF rags me quite a bit. he is a texas born and bred good ol' boy. mr. deer lease, raiseing hogs etc. for killing. we dont agree on that. ok, so he likes to needle me. and i think he likes to tell people about his "hippie" boyfriend lol!
we get along but yea i catch flak for it.
when i tried at my trainers advice to eat a 40/40 protein/carb diet for 2 weeks he was like its good right? and i was like trying to not vomit and say no its not! i couldnt do it! so i am back vegan and we have to discuss going out before we go so we both are happy with a dinner choice.

[bikediva]

I think detoxing from others' opinions is way harder than the physical detox. Because food is so emotional in our society. I too have roommates who don't get it, and I've come to the conclusion that, while I love them dearly, I simply cannot live with someone who eats vastly differently than I. Your roommate needs to stop making comments, or you need to find a new roommate, because it's too exhausting to be nagged often.

It's so weird how people fixate on things. My last roommate didn't get that my bike was my car, and always complained it was "in the way". I think, deep down, if someone is criticizing you, they are not comfortable with themselves. Unfortunately, the only decision you can make is what you will tolerate.

[poleidopy]

I asked the same thing awhile ago. Most people I know criticize me for the way I eat. I figure they just feel guilty about what they are eating and want someone to tell them it's OK. I don't lecture or try to change their views or even bring up the topic of food. If they are genuinely interested they will ask genuine questions. If not...try not to let them bother you too much. You are doing what you know is the best thing for YOU. That is your TRUTH. And "All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident." -Arthur Schopenhauer :)

[DopeRawAbundance]

My BF rags me quite a bit. he is a texas born and bred good ol' boy. mr. deer lease, raiseing hogs etc. for killing. we dont agree on that. ok, so he likes to needle me. and i think he likes to tell people about his "hippie" boyfriend lol!
we get along but yea i catch flak for it.
when i tried at my trainers advice to eat a 40/40 protein/carb diet for 2 weeks he was like its good right? and i was like trying to not vomit and say no its not! i couldnt do it! so i am back vegan and we have to discuss going out before we go so we both are happy with a dinner choice.

Oh!... I never knew. It's great to have someone gay on the raw team!

[skier2]

Oh!... I never knew. It's great to have someone gay on the raw team!

2 people, actually :p

[Jehote]

2 people, actually :p

We're taking over!

[skier2]

We're taking over!

Haha and I love your signature, btw

[DopeRawAbundance]

Uh oh, sparks is flyin.

[OnMyJourney]

Haha and I love your signature, btw


So do I! I just noticed it and it cracks me up! I MUST use that one! lol :p:p:p

[Revvell]

O.k., I'm a fan of that one too! Thanks for pointing it out Skier. Too funny! :D


Haha and I love your signature, btw

[T-Bird]

No one's ever been mean to me. They may disagree, but that's ok. I don't pretend to know anything, I'm trying this out and so far so good!

As far as the OP goes - wondering how old you all are? Because for many - poor dietary choices don't show till a bit later in life.

Each moment of our lives is defined by a lifetime of choices. It may not be till 40's or 50's that the effects of 30 years eating at mcdonalds start to show....

[Factoid]

It can be a bit of a burden (of course don't want to change and it is a challenge really :)) when you are almost hesitant to tell people that you are veggie/ vegan - even worse/ raw vegan :eek:
People feel
-they are being judged/ preached at
-you are a wacky nut job based on, perhaps even common sense - that which is self made - from little close examination/ very little information
-weariness - lots of people know there is a lot of bad stuff out there but wish it weren't there and don't want to have to make the big changes in their lives if they acknowledged it all. I have identified with this, a long time ago - I knew there were big problems with agricultural practice - livestock in a big way, but to deal with it would take on a massive amount of effort and change.

I guess as Peter Singer says though (or something like it) any attention brought to your way of eating is an opportunity to inform people about it and possibly to get them to improve their way of eating.

It can get a bit tiring though and I too get a bit tired of it when people just think I am a difficult loon..

[skier2]

I guess as Peter Singer says though (or something like it) any attention brought to your way of eating is an opportunity to inform people about it and possibly to get them to improve their way of eating.



This is a great point. I notice in personal practice that at least half of people are receptive to change, though there are always the self-righteous or stubborn ones. Ironically, these often tend to be the least nutritionally learned of the lot.

[Factoid]

skier2: yes I think stubborness is another issue. Think it comes out of feeling they are being preached at. Last night I had a discussion with a total omnivore and it just stopped being a discussion at some point and a flat out "I'm right you're not!" situation. All attempt at examining the issue was abandoned and it became about winning the argument. :rolleyes:

[sport]

I would say to the person
"Do you feel threatened by what I eat".
They would reply "are you joking, why should I be treathened".
You should then say that it is normally only when a person feels threatened that they react in such a defensive yet agressive way and that they should think about their motives.
Do not ever try to defend your position because if you so then they will feel that they are right.