for me it´s about health and about feeling good

[marynocka]

Hi there,

I try to be a full raw food eater, but sometimes it´s difficult because my husband eats "normally" and I have to cook (although he helps me) and he wants to go to restaurants with me .... and I don´t want him to have a feeling that we have almost nothing more in common. Still, eating same things unites a couple. In this way we can meet during his lunch breaks.
But otherwise I enjoy it very much being almost 100% raw food.
Since I am a beginner I search for information and people with experiences.
By the way, I´m Maria from Slovakia and I have been living in Belgium for 3 years.

So that´s all for now,
thanks

[Revvell]

Welcome Maria

I'm not clear on what this means:


and I don´t want him to have a feeling that we have almost nothing more in common.

If that's all you two have in common ....

I'm a mostly raw vegetarian of 24 years and my Husband and I go out and eat often. We also eat at home. We rarely, if ever eat the same things. Never have. We have so many other things in common that this is the least of them. We both LIKE to eat, we just eat differently.


Still, eating same things unites a couple. Only if you think so. What unites us as a couple is our communication, our touching, our other likes/dislikes... there is SO much more than what we eat. Focusing on food is limiting imo.

I absolutely agree it's about health and feeling good and I feel good when I eat raw, when I take care of ME and allow Him to take care of He... in His own fashion. :)

[marynocka]

My husband really feels that eating the same things is important. He reproaches me often that he cannot eat e.g. chocolate with me or ice cream. Or that his living with me becomes very complicated. He really doesn´t like it, even though he tries. But I think it´s because this shows him that how he eats is not healthy and since he loves eating he cannot renounce it.

[OnMyJourney]

Welcome!!! :)

I'm sure the two of you have far more in common than food, but to address that concern for you...even on raw food you two can still have lunch together. Options: 1) search your city/town for raw food restaurants or vegan ones that are willing to modify recipes, 2) order a big salad where ever he'd like to eat and bring your own dressing or 3) prepare a lunch for the two of you, with whatever foods the two of you (respectively) enjoy and have a "picnic" either in his office or outdoors if weather permits. I think that is very romantic, intimate and allows for you to spend more time together conversing and less time waiting on a server.

I wish you all the best on your journey!

[marynocka]

Thank you very much,

it just needs some time until my husband accepts it...:)

[OnMyJourney]

My husband really feels that eating the same things is important. He reproaches me often that he cannot eat e.g. chocolate with me or ice cream. Or that his living with me becomes very complicated. He really doesn´t like it, even though he tries. But I think it´s because this shows him that how he eats is not healthy and since he loves eating he cannot renounce it.


Perhaps the answer is him being wiling to be more open minded versus you feeling bad about your health choices. Perhaps the answer is you learning/finding more recipes that allow you to have (per your examples) chocolate (raw chocolate is awesome) and ice cream ( I make my own with my Vita Mix). The raw food lifestyle, I'm finding, only limits you as much as you allow yourself to be limited. The desserts are fabulous, and some are so rich and decadent. If you try them, and create them together, perhaps you would both have a better experience.

I'm sure that you're not doing this, but it bears saying...try to ensure that by being excited about your healthy changes that you aren't "preaching" to him about his diet or making qualifying comments about cooked food as you eat raw food. You know what I mean? If he feels like your actions and words are condemning his decisions he will feel a need to resist and feel insulted or bad. Eating raw or cooked isn't about guilt, it's about a personal choice and whether his diet is viewed as optimal or best by you or anyone else it is still his choice and he should be allowed to own that ....as should you.

I wish you both the best. :)

[kiropa]

i am a raw food advocate, but have to admit that what the original poster describes resonates with me.

in any relationship there is give and take. you have similarities and differences. you try things for and with each other (i started skiing with my husband and he watches bad reality televison with me -- just two poor examples). in my opinion, that's how relationships work.

my husband (crazy carnivore) enjoys my raw food dishes with enthusiasm and sometimes we go to raw-unfriendly restaurants of his choosing.

for us, this works. i think it's not fair to tell the original poster that "uniting" by sharing the same food is wrong. i'd have been really disappointed if my hubby refused to go to a raw food restaurant with me. i'd also have been offended if he packed a steak in his bag. it goes both ways.

i think couples have to do what works.

just my $.02.

[Revvell]

in any relationship there is give and take. you have similarities and differences. you try things for and with each other (i started skiing with my husband and he watches bad reality televison with me -- just two poor examples). in my opinion, that's how relationships work.

It's not how mine works and we're about as close as any couple I know. We don't compromise. Compromise leads to frustration. I like adventure movies, He doesn't. I don't expect Him to watch them. He doesn't expect me to like or listen to much of the music He likes. He reads books about techie stuff, I read self-improvment. The thing is we're together doing these things.

He eats fish when we go out, I eat raw/vegetarian. It's easy, no compromise, no frustration no "I did this, now you need to do that" stuff.



for us, this works. That's all that matters.



i think it's not fair to tell the original poster that "uniting" by sharing the same food is wrong. Life is not fair but no one said that to the OP.



i think couples have to do what works.

just my $.02.Of course they do yet, if it was "working" for the OP, she wouldn't be here asking what works for others now, would she?

[marynocka]

yes I made once a mistake when I presented him the things I was reading about the healthy food... But now I know that I can´t do it. I can´t have remarks about his food.
But I don´t want you to think that food is the only stuff we share. Apart from food (and opinions on television) we have a wonderful relationship.

And the problem is, that I am only a beginner and have no recipes. I eat just raw fruit and sometimes salads and of course nuts and seeds. But without any combinations, without recipes. I have to find some... and I also become a bit creative. Yesterday evening I mixed a banana and an apple with poppy seeds and sunflower seeds and it was heavenly great and even more important I stayed filled (I don´t know whether this word is right in this context) until the morning.

[Revvell]

yes I made once a mistake when I presented him the things I was reading about the healthy food...
But now I know that I can´t do it. I can´t have remarks about his food.

Noooo. People get REAL defensive about their food ~ makes them feel "wrong".


But I don´t want you to think that food is the only stuff we share. Apart from food (and opinions on television) we have a wonderful relationship.

I don't think that it's just some put SO much into "eating the same food" and even when I was a meat eater, I might eat fish, he'd eat steak so, in actuality, we never REALLY ate the SAME food. As long as HE gets what HE likes and I get what I like and we are together... that's what's important.




And the problem is, that I am only a beginner and have no recipes.

There are LOTS of them here and if you google "raw food recipes" I'm fairly sure you'll find many more.

You might consider going for Alissa's book and dvd's. They're loaded with over 300 recipes plus loads of information. We've shipped things to Eu. and the cost doesn't tend to be as prohibitive as many expect.

Enjoy!

[spicyfull]

I wish you everything you need to Stay RAW..........Welcome to MY World.