How do you all handle the critics??? [Archive]

poleidopy

12-30-2009, 11:44 AM

Just wondering how you all handle the critics in your life. I've had people tell me "Just chill out and enjoy a cheeseburger" "You're too radical" "Get off your high-horse" "Not everyone has the same high ideals as you" and many other things. I'm NOT going around preaching the raw-food diet (though it wouldn't be a bad idea) I know people aren't receptive to it. I don't criticize others' food choices, why do people think it's OK to comment on/criticize mine? It's really bringing me down and making me feel like maybe I really *can't* do this after all. Maybe I should just shut up and enjoy that cheeseburger with everyone else, who cares if it makes me fat and unhealthy. Especially on Sundays I have a hard time. After church we always go out to eat with a group of people. Lately I've been avoiding church altogether just so I don't have to be forced to go out to eat and eat non-raw foods. I can occasionally eat out with friends and not feel guilty, but I'm not willing to go eat burritos every Sunday, know what I mean? SO how do you all do it? How do you still have friendships with people that don't eat like you? How do you handle social situations? HOw do you handle the criticisms? Sorry for the long post, I'm just really feeling down about this. :(

Aleesha Sattva

12-30-2009, 11:49 AM

i ignore people. honestly after 2.5 years of being raw and fasting a lot... i just ignore people. i usually walk away from them if they get confrontational cause you can fight with someone who has left the room LOL

JennaHoneyBear

12-30-2009, 11:51 AM

Just tell them it's none of their business what you eat and that they have no right to criticize you for trying to be healthy in your own way. It IS hard and I've dealt with a lot of people saying I don't eat "real food" or I don't eat "anything at all" etc. Just persevere and it will get easier. Don't avoid the church folk, if anything they should be the most understand of the "wants" of "God". Ie: What did Adam and Eve eat in the Garden of Eden? Cheeseburgers and fries and washed it down with a cola? Did they eat bread and chicken fingers? Salsa and nachos? Nope.

Revvell

12-30-2009, 12:07 PM

First of all, I don't get that because I stand in my own power. I may get a few who ask about what I eat/don't eat but rarely do I get criticized. People EXPECT me to be different.

This may not make sense now yet, when you change YOUR thinking about what you're doing, others will change theirs.

For instance, I use to do pizza delivery and had a pita boss. He use to rag on EVERYone including me! One day I got real tired of it. I was sitting in the car and I realized what I was doing was not life-or-death unless I made it that way by driving angry. I decided then and there that that was it! I wasn't going to take it anymore. When I went back the energy between us changed. I changed MY energy. His couldn't stay the same with me.

As far as after church ~ is it true someone is "forcing" you to go out and eat raw foods? Really? "forcing"?

Also, no one is "making" you feel a certain way. It's your choice how to feel, how to respond.

Hmmm. I'm thinking I need to begin a new business. Hire me to go to dinner, after church, etc. and let me deal with these folk and/or teach you. :D

Yanno, it's all about self-esteem and how you handle yourself. Feel strong, feel proud! You're not "against" anything yet, what you are for is life ~ yours! That's something to be proud of.

T-Bird

12-30-2009, 12:10 PM

I'm just very laid back about it.....I tell people things like, well - I'm giving this a try, I'll see how it goes.

How long will I do it? - as long as I'm enjoying it.....or - I'll see how far I can go....

I never pretend to "know" the answers.....I say something like "well the theory behind this is....x.....and I'm going to see how I feel doing this for a while"

also - I'll put out a little "I've been 100% for X period of time....so far so good...if I <have the burger> then I'll have to start over in my experiments...."

Stuff like that.

I guess I act more open minded than I actually am, so it's jst something I'm trying out and so far is working well.....not interested in changing back yet kind of thing....

I haven't gotten a negative comment from anyone - and I work with a lot of doctors. One asked me about it, and I said in my "i don't really know" fashion...

"Well the theory is that man is the only animal that cooks his food, and it not natural. Also that man suffers from many degenerative diseases that animals in the wild don't"

Instead of anything negative, he said, hmmmm- that makes sense.

An older doc asked me once where I get my protein from - that was the most challenging question I got....

michigan roman

12-30-2009, 12:13 PM

just think about all the over weight americans by the tens of millions
walking around trying to tell you your eating wrong and roll your eyes as their opinions on diet are useless

katchmoleen

12-30-2009, 12:41 PM

I handle it by being super positive and excited about what raw food has done for me. I smile really big and gush about how amazing my food is and how tasty it is and how great I now feel. How can someone see me that way and then tell me NOT to eat the food that has such a positive affect on me?

Dimond

12-30-2009, 01:12 PM

When you're very confident about who you are and your choices (or at least act as if), people will rarely bother you. I never have this issue. What I eat or do is about what works for me. It has nothing to do with anyone else. Also, when you're enthusiastic about something, people usually are at least intrigued. The easiest way to get people to stop bothering you is by saying you have to eat this way due to health issues and/or you're allergic to this other food. People can't argue with illnesses-at least most won't.

Instead of avoiding social situations, it could be even more fun to bring your own raw food especially if it's something that looks interesting to others or that you're willing to share. Make it fun instead of a chore.

Care4raw

12-30-2009, 01:13 PM

I'm pretty easy going so I usually joke about it.Thats typically my charector. When the protien questions come, etc I do answer them and often I start to see a glaze coming over people unless they are sincerely interested. If really interested i will reccm'd a book or two, etc.

Bottom line though is that people are going to think what they think no matter what. However I have vasty improved in not being influenced by this and trusting my own eating choices , and just sticking to them no matter what people think.

Enjoy:)

DopeRawAbundance

12-30-2009, 04:01 PM

As far as after church ~ is it true someone is "forcing" you to go out and eat raw foods? Really? "forcing"?

Also, no one is "making" you feel a certain way. It's your choice how to feel, how to respond.

Hmmm. I'm thinking I need to begin a new business. Hire me to go to dinner, after church, etc. and let me deal with these folk and/or teach you. :D

Yanno, it's all about self-esteem and how you handle yourself. Feel strong, feel proud! You're not "against" anything yet, what you are for is life ~ yours! That's something to be proud of.

This is essentially what I was gonna say. Having confidence in your self is essential to having confidence in your actions like your diet.

Sometimes, the way you think people are looking at you, is the way you tend to look at yourself. What you think of yourself is reflected in how the others around you act upon you. It's a cosmic law or some'n.

Beth

12-30-2009, 04:08 PM

Hi--something I've been doing lately is quietly saying, "It's just my personal choice" and smiling. This seems to disarm people.

Where I may have some trouble with is my family who have seen me go through periods of ed behavior and think I am already too thin and don't eat enough or "anything". I think though when they see how happy and healthy I am feeling they may relax.

EZ rider

12-30-2009, 04:16 PM

Let em eat what they want -- I know I'm going to.

Green_Woman

12-30-2009, 05:25 PM

First of all, I don't get that because I stand in my own power. I may get a few who ask about what I eat/don't eat but rarely do I get criticized. People EXPECT me to be different.

Here I go, quoting Revvell again. :)

When I first went RAW back in 2006, I was "attacked on all sides" and eventually caved to the demands, criticisms, and anger of others. I left a lifestyle that was bringing me Health and Vibrancy and plunged back into SAD with a vengeance.

Between 2006 and the opening of 2010, MUCH has happened in my Life.

I have grown into my own power, and as I have grown, my power has grown.

There are NONE in my life in any significant way, now, who seek to challenge my lifestyle. There is nothing for them to dispute. The only questions I hear anymore, are these: "How do you do what you do? How can I become a Raw Vegan like you? How can I get your body?"

Change your thoughts, change YOUR life. Change the WORLD.

RawKnitster

12-30-2009, 05:35 PM

It's really bringing me down and making me feel like maybe I really *can't* do this after all. Maybe I should just shut up and enjoy that cheeseburger with everyone else, who cares if it makes me fat and unhealthy.

Even if you don't preach it, some people are going to see it as a personal attack on their food choices. They may not want to see you succeed as that would confirm the bad news about their food choices. That is their problem, don't let them make you feel guilty about your choices.

Use their comments to make yourself stronger. DO NOT give them the satisfaction of seeing you give up.

If I feel obligated to go to a restaurant with family or friends I insist on going somewhere I can get a salad. If that isn't possible I will go anyway, but I sit there and drink water and knit while everyone else eats. Since I'm not eating it gives me more time to talk. :)

How about starting a meeting group after church that doesn't go to a restaurant? How about a hosting a potluck? You may find as the weeks go by more and more people are bringing raw dishes to your potluck. ;)

Raw Angel Mom

12-31-2009, 05:02 AM

If you continue your healthy life style especially with raw food, from 20 years up, you can look at your friends that stick with their cheeseburger how they look like.

Seriously, that kind of junk food is so toxic and armful for you. Your body has to use so much his/her precious enzyme to digest that crap.

Enjoy your raw food and have compassion for your friends because i don't want to be in their shoes when the effect at long term shows up.

I would say, how to handle critique: Is that you have to really keep educating yourself so you can built solid foundation and faith in this food. Just wait if some day, when you become a parent, you are going to hear all kind of none sense about how much dairy and meat is essential for the child growth. If you have strong foundation and keep doing good research, nothing they will say will shake you up or create doubt in you.

I just don't argue with people like this and i also work with people like that. I tell them, just enjoy your food i love my plant food. At some point, people start to accept you, if they mock my food, i just laugh with them and don't take that personally. Now, people from work come to ask me for advice and even my own family are coming around and asking about advice.

Stand your ground and refuse to take anything personally. Don't argue with your friend and tell them to enjoy their cheeseburger.

You deserve what is best for you and keep reminding yourself that. A friend that try to make you use drug, make you drink and now make you eat junk food, isn't a good friend at all.

appifanie

12-31-2009, 06:40 AM

I don't criticize others' food choices, why do people think it's OK to comment on/criticize mine?

indeed. i waiver on and off between levels of rawness, but am always vegan, so i know how this goes. i could/should lecture people, but i don't. would people say this stuff to us if we ate at McDonald's every day? no they wouldn't. so why must they critique us for being healthy?

so, anyway, ignore them, and if you want to say something, say the above quote from you :)

xPIXIEx

12-31-2009, 09:18 AM

Luckily I haven't had this problem. Everyone is really interested in the way that my family eats. But I'm prepared to tell people how it is. It makes me feel great, and this is how I intend on living my life. I do what makes me feel good. They're more than welcome to eat what they want to eat, but I feel the BEST when I eat raw.

streetsurfer

12-31-2009, 10:02 AM

Same way I handle the critics of other areas of my life, by realizing they weren't placed there by some higher power, solely to be my critics, but rather that they chose to assume that position of their own accord. This often makes their points quite moot. Realizing He has a direct line to my heart, I tend to worry less about what others say or think (accountability between brothers and sisters is a different thing of course).

Marine Mom

12-31-2009, 10:42 AM

I just look at them like a dog looks at you when he hears a high pitched whistle: Head cocked and blank stare. Seriously, I ignore them, I also don't actively advertise this. Folk I know are used to my somewhat ecentric self. The beauty of being 44 is that I am my own person and could care less what anyone else thinks. If someone is genuinly interested I do talk to them about health, what I am seeing in my geriatric patients on a daily basis, what they can look forward to if they continue a SAD diet and no activity, point them to Food Inc and encourage them to at least buy organic. Already, one of my friends, a fellow RN, is incorporating juicing and raw into her daily diet.

Kris

Green_Woman

12-31-2009, 12:01 PM

The beauty of being 44 is that I am my own person and could care less what anyone else thinks.

Amazing.... :D I've always considered that the beauty of being 24, too. I think it's the metal of which we are welded, more even than the socially-imposed boundaries of age.

Screw social boundaries. :D

cara4art

12-31-2009, 02:44 PM

"The beauty of being 44 is that I am my own person and could care less what anyone else thinks.
Amazing.... I've always considered that the beauty of being 24, too. I think it's the metal of which we are welded, more even than the socially-imposed boundaries of age.

Screw social boundaries." - Green_Woman

I couldn't agree more, esp. from my vantage point of being in early 60s!
All good answers here, and you know, except for the die-hard junk food addicts, a number of people might even come around eventually to getting onto a healthier diet. Once they see the difference in your weight, appearance, joyfulness, etc. they're bound to get interested, especially if you have some long-standing chronic health situation either clear up or seriously improve. On the other hand there are some who will still try to tear you down on account of their own insecurities and the fact that they aren't doing anything about their own health.
Stay strong - Revell's right!

lovenlife

12-31-2009, 02:46 PM

Oh my...I didnt live this long to be my own unique self and get all in a fluff (and then minimize myself) about others opinions.

Another persons opinion is a gift. If I do not accept that gift, it remains with them.

I stand proud and confident in what I am up to. It does not matter to me, that it might matter to them ,what I eat. Simply,not.

The other day (after people fussing about what they eat or not...after seeing what I eat...etc) folks got all tired n worn out after their lunch...they asked what time were we going to go home. I said seven or eight. It was 3 in the afternoon. They couldnt believe it because they were wiped.

Then they wanted what I was having. Make em wonder what exactly is in that mason jar and they will see you and begin to want some. haahahah

EZ rider

12-31-2009, 02:58 PM

Rick Nelson sang a song about this tittled "Garden Party": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFnZzqnM-tw

appifanie

01-01-2010, 07:52 PM

Amazing.... :D I've always considered that the beauty of being 24, too. I think it's the metal of which we are welded, more even than the socially-imposed boundaries of age.

Screw social boundaries. :D

I'm 32 and my mom is 67, and she's impressed that i have the same world views so much younger than she reached them :D

punpkin

01-03-2010, 09:31 PM

I have a couple of thoughts on the subject. Dec. 26 of this year marked 2 years of sobriety for me- think of eating raw like drinking. Don't you imagine that people who had problems with drinking and quit aren't pressured to drink? Treat your Rawness like that- like you have done this amazing thing for yourself and quit doing something that was really bad for you and massively adictive (cooked food, which, btw, was harder to quit than drinking or drugs, just a little aside there). I don't give someone a hard time when they sit and drink five beers in front of me, I just don't do it! I'm sure it hs an affect on them, just not a confrontational one.
Also, like someone else said, when you are critisized (sp) you can chose to dance that person's dance with them or not. More succinctly, just cuz someone serves you a p**p sandwhich, doesn't mean you have to eat it. It really does come from inside- I think it helps to think of those situations where you are put on the spot and feel badly before they happen and have a response ready. Not going to church seems a little harsh, but alcoholics don't hang out in bars,y'now? Especially in the beginning, maybe it would be helpful to not put yourself in potentially compromising situations until you feel more strongly able to deal with them.
Lastly, I remember seeing these little books someone had printed up, for sale somewhere on the Internet. They were just like 2"x2' and had different titles, like "How I Get Protien in My Vegetarian Diet". Inside were all the answers- the idea being that this person didn't want to continue having the same conversation with everuone who asked," Well, where do you get your protien from? Maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to make something like that up and hand them to the next person who has the gall to hassle you for being to cool and open to life to be Raw!!!:D

Marine Mom

01-04-2010, 09:40 PM

paleocron

01-05-2010, 06:18 PM

I have very specific goals with my diet: CRON with the intention of achieving longevity escape velocity. I do eat mostly raw, although not 100%.

When questioned or challenged about my eating practices, I simply state the goals of my diet, then say that I have done research and have evidence that is very compelling toward at least a mostly raw diet, and then I tell them that I can show them the research papers if they want to discuss the issue further.

Once I get to the point where I want to show them tangible, scientific data that I based my reasoning on, they usually decide to hush up. Then they go right back to eating their junk food of choice. Lol. But at least they now leave me alone. :)

k8sl8

08-04-2010, 10:50 AM

I know there have been several posts about dealing with people who don't support our way of life. I had my first personal experience while visiting a cousin and her DH. She has done weight watchers (I might add she has gained back at least half) and she thinks that's fine, but was actually derisive about raw. Her husband, who cooks most of the time, just left things raw for me, with a smile. Interesting. I would have considered the reactions to be opposite. Just goes to prove you can't even GUESS what people will think.

It was an interesting experience. Can't say it was pleasant, but it is, what it is.

OldSchoolMedjool

08-04-2010, 01:20 PM

Just tell them that you are choosing to eat in a way that makes you feel good right now. You are doing what works for you. If you eat differently you dont feel as good.

Not all rocks undergo a change in their molecular structure and turn into crystals!!

-Steve

terry brown

08-04-2010, 09:37 PM

I have not really had any nay sayers to my face. Only comments about protien.
When it comes up and i tell someone how I eat, a glaze comes over their face and they really do not know what to say. (those that are not familar with a raw way of eating, those that are find it interesting to a point)
Today a woman I met said that she eats pretty good, she only has meat twice a week because she is anemic. She weighed over 300 pounds and had a hard time walking.
I just smiled. I knew the thought of making such a drastic eating change would be too much to even consider.
I think that the fact that as a group we are a pretty healthy looking and energenic bunch speaks for itself!