Break-ups & not eating?

[Katie P]

I don't think my boyfriend & I will be dating much longer. We don't seem to be on the same page with alot of things in life, so unless there are some miraculous changes I don't forsee us together in the near future.

I've been kinda stressed out lately & haven't really had an appetite b/c of this so I'm not eating as much. Is that okay to do? I know I wanna listen to my body so if it's stressed out b/c of this I imagine it doesn't need food? I don't really understand what it would be doing that it wouldn't want food but I guess it's doing something.

Any thoughts?

[freshlight]

Sending LOTS of hugs and good thoughts your way.

If you don't feel hungry, don't eat, I wouldn't worry about that at all. When we have "enough on our plate" to deal with, then we need the energy to digest that one first, so this is a very healthy reaction, actually. Be happy your inner voice is so strong :)

Take care and remeber: the world needs you!

[Katie P]

Thanks freshlight! Yeah, I have a feeling it will happen within the next month. I'm just kinda "being" with the way things are to see if anything changes, but there have definetly been days where my body is saying "don't eat". You're explanation makes sense. Thanks!

[Revvell]

Since you're dealing with stress, the last thing you want to be doing is eating. What your body is wanting to do is natural, not normal. Normally, women tend to eat when stressed which is why so many gain weight. One can't digest food and emotions at the same time. Listen to your body... relax and when your body wants food, feed it gently and well.

[Katie P]

One can't digest food and emotions at the same time. Listen to your body... relax and when your body wants food, feed it gently and well.

This is all making sense! In the past when I'd deal with stress of a relationship I wouldn't over eat I'd just eat the same even if my body wasn't hungry b/c I felt like I should & that I shouldn't deprive my body of nutrients. But since I've been raw & have been really trying to listen to my body....not to mention getting advice from you all, I can really see the importance of listening to my body whether it's eating light or not eating at all.

I get it now that I've done alot of cleanses/ detoxes that my body detoxes emotions, so with everyone's advice on letting my body chill from digesting emotions it just makes sense to not bombard it with anything else until my body's ready to eat.

How do you respond when your family & friends show their concern about weight loss from a relationship & they ask if you're eating or eating enough?

[Revvell]

How do you respond when your family & friends show their concern about weight loss from a relationship & they ask if you're eating or eating enough?

Look at them. Do they look healthy? So many want us to not feel our emotions because that's what they're doing. If they're overweight, you can pretty much be sure they're not experiencing their feelings yet, squashing them with food.

You know, so many people here are going DAYS without food. Nobody is asking them (nobody here, anyway) if they're getting enough nutrients. They're not!

People have gone days, weeks and even months with only water. I'd just say, "thank you for your concern and I'd appreciate if you'd help me get into my feelings and not through them" (or, squash them down with food).

[freshlight]

How do you respond when your family & friends show their concern about weight loss from a relationship & they ask if you're eating or eating enough?

I stay away from them...not saying you should do as well but that's the only thing that worked for me,- you can NOT imagine what their "questions" were like and I started feeling much better without experiencing the emotional violence from them on a regular basis.

Hope you can find the right solution for yourself

[RawKinTheRaw]

No advice - but I wanted to offer a big *hug*

[streetsurfer]

I love the advice you are getting from Revvell. She is wise.

I went through a divorce long ago and what I did to deal with the emotional side was to pick up weights and start running; things that were beneficial to my personal growth. That helped immensely. Choose something that you know is a positive for you as a replacement to dwelling on the pain, and do it regularly and especially when the pain surfaces. While running I was much more clear headed and able to work through the emotional part of it, and did so. Lifting weights produced endorphins and what not, strengthened me, and boosted my self confidence to aid in helping me recover from the loss. When my stomach was so upset about it all and I couldn't eat, I drank aloe vera juice which calmed it.

You'll get through this and one day look back and know that whatever you decide to do was a good choice. It sure sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders.

[Katie P]

No advice - but I wanted to offer a big *hug*

THANKS :) :) :)

It's crazy to be mentally checked out of a relationship but still love the person so much......the end is inevitable unless there's change. But it's definetly not a bad thing. Just means there's someone else for me :p

Streetsurfer....thanks too! I think I will get back into my music for sure!

[lovenlife]

Dear Katie P, I am so very proud of you for STANDING for your life and not letting your love for him draw you into being with him for the rest of your life, if you feel it is not right for you.

As I told you, you deserve to have the perfect person for you and it seems you are seeing so many ways that he isnt that person.

How great that you gave him a second look, to make sure.

Be with it and FEEL it. The best way to heal it is to feel it full out. Stuffing it with food/any food only pushes it down to deal with later. You will need to heal.

When you feel a lil hungry then pick something really special that your body wants. Definitely not having food will assist your body in handling it.

I have also had this in my life, as we have talked about, and it is not easy at all. Better now than divorce court though. It is still very upsetting. I am so proud of you for KNOWING!

BEING.

I am here for you. Love and hugs.

[Katie P]

Lovenlife....THANKS :)

I haven't exactly cut the chord yet, but the more time I spend with God the more I know what I need to do. Nothin' is adding up in why we're together. I am & will definetly try to just "be" until that time. I don't wanna dwell on any "what-if's" or if he would even care or miss me when all is said & done. It will all work out; I know it.

Thanks for all your encouragement ;)

[Care4raw]

Rejection is God's protection

(just read this on a friend's fb...it may apply )

[lovenlife]

Katie..it will go how it will go and will all be ok.

[Katie P]

I broke up with my boyfriend last night. I knew I was gonna do it the night before & all day yesterday I actually had an appetite. I could be b/c I reached a point about 2wks ago when I realized it needs to end. So I'm kinda excited that my emotions are more in check than I thought they'd be.

[Revvell]

Congrats!!!

[freshlight]

sounds like you are feeling much better :) Well done!

[streetsurfer]

I am not sure if this fits the proper definition but what you felt during that time of not doing what you felt must be done, may have been cognitive dissonance. I take the meaning as an inner conflict that is a result of going against what you know in your heart/spirit to be true or right. In my life once in the past, it caused shortness of breath and discomfort in my chest. I was actually in the doctors office waiting to see her about the pain and breathing difficulty when I read an article on cognitive dissonance in the waiting room. I went ahead with the exam where she said she found nothing to be concerned about. While undergoing the exam I ruminated on what I had just read in the waiting room, and told her at the end of the visit that I think I had figured out what was causing my discomfort. Within the next couple days I found I was correct, as all the discomfort disappeared when I ended the relationship I knew was not the right match for me and my beliefs.

[freshlight]

wow streetsurfer, that's interesting! That's what usually happens when we try to ignore our inner voice,- it gets even stronger and shows us the right way to go through the body symptoms

[lovenlife]

Loving you today Katie P and I just KNOW you are on to bigger and better things and I cant wait to hear about your next adventure. Love to you n huggles

[Katie P]

Streetsurfer....wow! It's amazing what relationships will do to our bodies!


Loving you today Katie P and I just KNOW you are on to bigger and better things and I cant wait to hear about your next adventure. Love to you n huggles

Thanks so much :) I'm totally empowered :)

[lovenlife]

Wooohoooooo I love that!

I always know when I feel such a huge relief after choosing, that it is the right thing.