Clearing anger?

[Amii]

This is quite difficult for me to admit but I think I may have some problems keeping my anger under control. I only really realised this yesterday after arguing with my parents and they told me how "aggressive" I am and how "full of rage" I am, which really upset me.

I'm 18 years old and I've always been a nice, calm person but lately little things are sparking my temper and I end up getting so wound up that I scream and kick/hit things (not people).

I was wondering if diet could have any relation to this and also, do you think meditation would help me cure this? Any advice appreciated, thank you :)

[Revvell]

Meditation is one way yet, I would get out and MOVE! Rage needs an outlet and movement can be one. Writing is another. Find out WHY you are angry.

Write down ~ "One reason I'm angry is.... " Then finish it with 6-10 different endings.

Without finding the source, hard to find the "cure".

[Conscious Midwife]

Aggressive as in self assertive with folks who are use to seeign you as submissive and compliant? Or were you just throwing a 3 year old tantrum?

MEDITATION is always good for so so many reason on so many levels, try it!

RAW does bring stuff to the surface but it's usually stuff that needs to eventually get out and delt with. better out than in especially if in means that you have some pent up emotions or resentment that would fester inside and cause dis-ease.

Otherwise if you love you parents be sure to convey it. Journal about your emotions. Give your self a pass and two thumbs up for keep it real and know that YOU ARE ALLOWED TO FEEL WHAT YOU FEEL AND DEAL HOWEVER YOU WILL.

But ABUSE AGAINST OTHERS IS Not only unbecoming but frickin WRONG. I know you haven't gone there yet, good for you but ummm tearing up stuff reduces your green foot print unless said stuff has another use and is easily recycled.:D

Who's stuff you tearing up anyway:confused: Cause in my houe that would get you in a world of trouble and being called aggressive would be the least of your concerns. Now go to your room young lady and think about your actions and don'tt come back until you've figured your ish out.

(oops sorry I'm not you mother:o)

[Amii]

Hey, I would never hurt another person. When you say I am tearing stuff up, I'm not. I said I hit and kick things, like pillows or things that are soft and won't break. Just because it releases some tension.

Also, I never argue if I can help it. Self-assertive is the way I was behaving and I personally didn't think I was being aggressive at all, maybe I had raised my voice. It was more the knowledge that I had got angrier than usual that worried me. I'm not behaving badly, just feeling very tense and angry

But thanks for your advice, I will try meditating and exercising.

[Revvell]

But thanks for your advice, I will try meditating and exercising.

... writing. You're welcome. Don't "try" ~ do. :)

[Irish_Vegan_Girl]

This is quite difficult for me to admit but I think I may have some problems keeping my anger under control. I only really realised this yesterday after arguing with my parents and they told me how "aggressive" I am and how "full of rage" I am, which really upset me.

I'm 18 years old and I've always been a nice, calm person but lately little things are sparking my temper and I end up getting so wound up that I scream and kick/hit things (not people).

I was wondering if diet could have any relation to this and also, do you think meditation would help me cure this? Any advice appreciated, thank you :)

I find that it helps to realise the root of this anger, if it is the case that it is due to a reaction of a situation of of how someone acted to me, then I take responsibility to choose my reaction - you can never say that someone "made you feel" said way, it is my choice how I emotionally react to any given situation - it is not automatic and if you think about it you will hoepfully see that it is easier that we thought.
Do some breathing and realize that there is little time to fight with our parents, pick you "battles" wisely, you will look back, maybe just next month and realize that it was usually over flimbsey things, and that we could have handled them better. Try to stay in the moment and on the ground when you think you might get enraged.

[freshlight]

It's important to express your anger, so don't worry about "misbehaving". If you have the feeling it controlls you and not the other way round, do what Revvell suggested,-some excellent advice BTW.


Don't make the mistake I made and hide it inside yourself,-it will make you feel ill at some point. That energy HAS to get out of your system, make sure you take care of yourself by taking your feelings seriously.

[lovenlife]

Yes GET IT OUTside of yourself.

Go somewhere in the woods and scream loud as much as you can

Run like crazy

Yes punch pillows (poor things)

Write and write more

TALK IT OUT with a trusted friend

Dont make yourself wrong and beat up on YOU for it.

Own it.

Ask yourself WHAT is this? Get to the root , acknowledge it, and send it packing.

Let go of all that has gone before and BE in this moment.

Let go of all that has hurt you (including people).

Always reaffirm your love for those you may have hurt.

And for yourself.

[Patch]

Hi Amii, I'm a theta healer and have worked with a few people that have anger problems. The most important step is to think about when the anger first started and was it connected to anything that had happened around that time. Then ask yourself a few questions like why did the situation make you so angry and how did you feel when you did vent your anger. Keep asking yourself lots of question like why and how did it make you feel until you think you have got to the root of the problem. I'm happy for you to email me personally if you need some more help with this. The great thing is that you have realized that you have felt angry and that's a huge step to fixing the problem. It's a reaction to a situation that you feel is out of your control, you may not even consciously know what it is until you start asking yourself some questions and take the first answer that comes into your head, don't analyze the answers just go with it and it will unfold. I agree with everyone else that says write down your feelings it's a great way to release and understand your true feelings.

[lovenlife]

VERY good thoughts Patch...bravo!

[beyceo]

I tell my clients who are all teenagers to use some of their allownace, buy eggs and throw them outside or in the tub. They break and dont mess up stuff. I also tell them to keep a journal. Journaling can be writing, drawing, cutting pictures out and pasting them in, scribbling. It is yours and can be whatever you want it to be as long as you are expressing yourself. You then want to take that and process it with someone ie. therapist, clergy. Good luck.

[JennaHoneyBear]

I used to be a very angry and aggressive person, but after I stopped eating animals and their products, I instantly became a more peaceful person. :)

Raw certainly helps!

[Danny Dubya]

I tell my clients who are all teenagers to use some of their allownace, buy eggs and throw them outside or in the tub. They break and dont mess up stuff. I also tell them to keep a journal. Journaling can be writing, drawing, cutting pictures out and pasting them in, scribbling. It is yours and can be whatever you want it to be as long as you are expressing yourself. You then want to take that and process it with someone ie. therapist, clergy. Good luck.
Faulty approach. When an ego such as anger is fed, it grows, period. Meditation's good, but the most reliable and conscious method of chipping away at anger is to observe yourself at the moment it strikes... in your thoughts, in your heart or in your movements. To have any real chance of success at this, you must stay in this state of awareness 24/7 and pick yourself back up with positivity and an eagerness to grow, whenever you fall out of it. If you rely upon finding alternative ways to "express yourself" (the "yourself" actually being this ego), the anger still lies within you, having successfully preyed upon your energy and awareness either way, and waiting to take it out on others around you when you can't avoid it.


I used to be a very angry and aggressive person, but after I stopped eating animals and their products, I instantly became a more peaceful person.

Raw certainly helps!
Can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to reaping that benefit for myself...

[rawffle]

Anger is secondary to fear. Like others have said, write - Why are you angry? One step further - What are you worried about, or what did you feel threatened about? Were you afraid that you weren't being heard? Etc.

Anger comes from fear, always. Find out what changes you can make to make yourself feel safe. This can be approached from either the way you are choosing to look at a situation (inward), and/or can include removing yourself from people/habits/situations that are not good for you (outside things).

Exercise/meditation are very important, too, IMO. Just my two cents.

It took a lot of courage for you to say that you might have been out of control, so (((hugs))) for that. :)

[dimamuzhetsky]

Hello!I have such problems myself.In particular,most worryingly,I suddenly find myself unable to check away a situation in which my own body might be seriously injured.Take my advice as I gave it a thought(please feel free to write to me to exchange experiences-advices).Whenever a situation to be afraid of begins to appear,You must perceive its gradual approach beforehands.Once perceived as yes coming:do WHATEVER IS NECESSARY to stop the coming harm.You may leave the"battle ground " in case You quarell with relatives-aquaintances.How?Immediately turn away from them,& quickly go in the direction,opposite to theirs.Go out of the house,walk,whatever,just stop mixing with them untill the anger between You & them is gone.I do this,it YES works great.Do NOT listen to whatever they say into Your disappearing back,remember:no healthy nerves in Your head-no ANYTHING.You & your head,health-first,then only anything else.In case the leaving the "battle(quarell) ground" is impossible,yet danger being on.You might recall bad sides,the final effects of it,just how is it all to be in case the quarell is to go on.If THIS is unpractical.Take Your own head violently out of the quarell.How?Drugs,watching TV,nice music,even striking Your own head over heavy objects like a wall etc.Relax,I do even this,that's why I am NOT afraid of the horrible results You mention.Stroken over a wall head(do it through a pillow)aches strongly,You loose part of brain functions.Its enough to stop the brain from processing the quarell,other dangerous for body stuff.You then feel like strong headaches,cannot understand words of other people,as the head needs time to recover(it absolutely will,I used this multiple times).Either You DO it,or You YES will regret the results of an unwanted situation,where YOUR OWN HIGHER BRAIN FUNCTIONS are THE criminal,as THEY & NONE ELSE order violent activities like quarells,hitting each other with heavy stuff,etc.If You loose like this an eye or are taken by an ambulance into a long hospital stay-THE CORTEX OF YOUR OWN BRAIN ONLY will be responsible for further INVALIDITY.I YES did this,it works PERFECT.Problems then ARE GONE.The poor yes brain recovers fully in like 30 minutes after the strikes over a wall,it gets just as cute as ever,trust me,plus it gets a sort of "vaccination" against physical traums by striking it with heavy objects.So-gain only.Good luck.Please inform me of other useful ways to avoid stresses as well,Iam much afraid also of their horrible destructive effects.Dima(I am reachable through my profile)

[Mary Kay]

So far, I believe you have been given some good advice, but no one has mentioned a physical reason for this, for which there may be a cause.

Sometimes it's a mineral deficiency. I believe many raw foodies may not absorb minerals (especially) magnesium, because of not getting enough Vitamins A, D and K.

Interesting that anger can flare up for those approaching menopause, and I have been angry for these past couple months UNTIL I just recently began adding some more non vegan things. I am 54 and my periods have just begun to whack out, so am heading towards menopause.

Perhaps you should get tested. You might also consider angstrom minerals, especially magnesium.

I do not believe pills are a good way to get your minerals.

My (different!) thoughts anyway - that it might be something physical causing this.

Mary Kay

[streetsurfer]

SAY WHAT?

I first want to apologize to Amii, if my reply happens to upset you or the intended direction of your thread.

Banging your head against a wall, or anything against it....not advisable:rolleyes:. Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) can be the result. Any brain injury from impact, or stretching of nerve fibers during sudden deceleration can lead to a bleed and inflammation; this means swelling in a confined space where there is not much room for any- which then causes a component of the reaction (ERK protein) to be sent out from the site of the injury that triggers more inflammation and bleeding in the surrounding area, spreading and worsening the damage. Greater swelling and restriction of blood flow and oxygen to the brain can be a result and this damages brain tissue which equals loss of brain cells. Better to use and keep the brain cells you have and find a way to deal with the situation wisely.

Isreal is a leader in researching TBI's and the use of certain compounds or phytochemicals from an herb which remains illegal in most of the USA. Because of this illegal status it is hindering this research from even taking place here. The plant chemicals under study have been found to greatly inhibit and reduce inflammation in the brain and thereby prevent lasting damage and deficits. I find it ridiculous and maddening :mad: that advice to beat ones head against a wall comes from the same country as has had so many fine young men and women suffer TBI's as a result of improvised explosive devices causing war casualties. Is it worth it? Rather to train yourself to walk away as you suggest, change the situation, or change how you react to it...without beating your head against a wall.

Please please please! Nobody follow the advice to hit your head against anything as a way to deal with an unpleasant situation. The end result may not be what you intended.:eek: It may however be the beginning of a whole new set of problems for you.

I may sound harsh, and I won't apologize for it to the poster of this bad advice, but I will to the admin and mods here, if it bothers them. As one who in the past, has escaped serious brain injury as a result of head trauma in a motorcycle accident, this has struck a nerve with me (saved by a helmet and proper riding gear). The advice is so off the wall one has to wonder if the poster is serious or possibly yanking our chain.

I've considered asking for post #15 to be removed due to the bad advice in it but decided against it, and instead to try and educate him/her, in hopes of helping them prevent injury to themselves if they truly subscribe to this practice. It doesn't even take an impact to start the process, simply taking aspirin can cause a microbleed which can damage brain matter. The brain is quite plastic and even able to recover and repair itself in some cases, however it is also very fragile. Please take better care of yours dimamuzhetsky.

[Amii]

Hey guys

Thank you so much for all your advice.
I just wanted to let you know that I'm doing better since I've posted this and I haven't even made any changes yet. I still get annoyed with things (like anyone with PMS or irritating siblings do :P) but I'm not angry these days.

Since the last time I posted this I haven't even had an argument like that one. I'm starting to think it was a one-off for which I am relieved.
Thanks again and I'm sorry if I wasted your time! :)

[streetsurfer]

Very good! If or when it happens again, I would look to the previous few days of the event and evaluate your diet during those days. It may be something you ate that lowers your tolerance level. I found that to often be the case with me, and just as Jenna says, it seemed to be mostly related to animal products. Raw can certainly be calming. Food sensitivities or impeded digestion can definitely change how we feel and react.

[RawHealthyBeauty]

Out of all things besides going raw, I find that walking for a least 20 minutes really lightens up my mood. release any form of stress, and really enables me to have more clarity. Maybe walking may be helpful for you to clear up the mind and emotions. Hope this helps! :)

[arrty]

As soon as you feel anger coming on, try and just take deep breaths for 15-30 seconds. Don't think, don't speak, don't act... just breath deep.

As you probably know, when someone gets angry the body release adrenaline, the heart rate increases, and we sometimes lose control because of the automatic response. If you can just focus on breathing your body can't do all of the above and you should (hopefully) remain calm. The Japanese have practiced this for centuries and they are known as the most composed society to date.