back to raw

[mandabear]

I really need to go back to raw. I had been eating mostly raw for awhile (okay, like, 2 weeks) and felt great, and then I fell back in to my eating disorder and was overeating and doing other things that shouldnt happen. Eating raw made me feel good about myself and healthy. My parents were giving me crap though because it's "one of my new fads" and "cant be healthy" but i feel like its the only thing that will help me get better. Any advice for getting my parents to losen up so I can help myself get better? :-( I feel sad and depressed when I am not eating raw. I am sick of overeating or undereating. I just want to do something good for my body for once.

[squidly]

I hear you!!! I have a tendency to binge eat - sepcially chocolate but anything sweet. I have been high raw for a few months with 100% raw for a 10 day stint and now today is day 3 at my second attempt. My husband has seen me try many things and even I have said to myself sometimes 'ye this is just like all the other things I tried that I won't stick to" but you know what..........raw FEELS right!!

I too am vegan when not raw but still binge eat. So everyone else says 'but you are so healthy (and a freak they think) because I am vegan and exercise religously each day". The think I am happy and loving. If only they knew that behind closed doors I binge and hate myself for it and that I get depressed but don;t show the world this.

Never give up. The fact that you know you felt better while raw is great. I agree that while raw the 'depression' lifts and I just seem more calm and at peace with not only myself but others around me. I don't live with mum / dad or siblings but still they see what I eat and think I am strange - but you know what...it is they who have diabetes, ceoliacs, migrains, allergies and more while I am healthy as is my 2 year old daughter who I have about 60 - 75 % raw at present (husband feeds her cooked)

Others may mock you, they can disagree with you, they can taunt you but they can't BE you. The can't think for you and they will only treat you as you let them. Explain to them that they may see this as a fad but at this moment in time it feels right .to you and that you would appreciate their support. Be calm and loving when you talk to them - you may be surprised at their reaction. If they think is is not healthy then ask them what they base this opinion on. Show them some information and ask them to read it before judging your choices. Even if they don't agree with you that is ok but ask them to at least respect your choice and be supportive of that.

I really feel for you and you are not alone out there. Hang in there,,,,,,,,,,,,,RAW is awesome and even when you slip just get back up, give yourself a hug and acknowledge you are human then keep on travelling the path that is right for you. There is no failure - only undesirable outcomes. Take those outcomes as lessons to where you don't want to go and then change direction.

You are a wonderful person and you have chosen to be RAW. Be proud of it and enjoy the wondeful feelings that come with it. Be proud of the person you are now and the person you are becoming!! Do not let others steal your soul.

[ReneeSC]

Squidly,

( a rousing applause from my corner !! ) That was very GOOD advice!
I purposefully didn't say anything to her last night because I was waiting for someone else whose come through this fire to instead. You're still "smoking" from the fire you've been through, but I think you're beginning to see things more-clearly now. That was BEAUTIFUL... good going!

I've gone through years of food issues.. years! Thank goodness THIS way of eating negates most of it. If you binge, Hon, what are you binging ON... ? GOOD FOOD! So, it's not like you're downing a quart of Haggendaas. Release yourself from this guilt and self-hatred - LET GO! It is a physical, conscious, intent - but it's wonderful when you can walk away from it.

Yes, YES, there are still reasons and memories and tendencies that have to be worked through. It takes time and patience with yourself. I wouldn't bother worrying too much about any binging aspects until your body becomes cleansed out of all of the "stuff" it's had accumulated over the years. I don't see where we'll have the strength to deal with two very difficult issues at the same time; one would compete with the other.
__________________________________
On to the parents issue: When other people are paying for your food, paying for your clothing and the shelter over your head, respect is very much needed ( both ways, of course ). But, when the parents are working against you - being in respecteful disagreement can be very hard - particularly when they're making comments that are hurtful and are.. .for whatever reason... sabotaging you.

If I were still living at home, I'd be getting the same thing you are. I left home young, so I can't say what it's like to HAVE to deal with it long-term.

I know this, though, .. be very watchful that you're not having to "sneak" behind their backs to eat the raw food. One, this could cause even more problems in the house. Two, this could cause more problems within yourself -programming yourself that food is bad, good food has stigma, you're a bad person.. ( snowballing from there ). So,.. try not to hide.

It's difficult for non-raw food people to understand why you spurn their cooked things - they don't "get it"... it's not something their minds can wrap around, so don't allow yourself to become entangled in verbal brawls.
They could be wrestling within themselves about food issues - and it's coming out in their resistance towards what's happening between you.

I've seen some rather - and have experienced within myself - visceral reactions on the issue of food in general. It seems to really conjure up deep emotions..: anger, pride, guilt, greed, wontonness, controversy, debate.. etc.
I suspect if you're seeing any of the above in your home - it's normal .. as awful as it is to say that.

I would do as Squidly suggested, and that is to sit down with BOTH of your parents - in a quiet, easy-going setting... ( maybe not even in the house ) - and pour out your heart to them about what's going on in your life - WHY you're seeking this way of eating, how it makes you feel. Then tell them that you love them, respect them, and understand why they're thinking the things they're thinking, but that you really, REALLY need help with this right now.
Tell them to help you do the research on this way of eating. Show them the pictures of the successes, enlist their help!

Your parents, I'm sure, LOVE you very much... implore them to stick with you through this. Ask them to help you.

Pray.

We're with you!

[jaurequi]

mandabear and squidly too (((((*hugs*))))))

Don't have much to say, but would like to give you much deserved support and encouragement. You've got guts!

Perhaps this will help: I know it can be tedious, but do it for a spell -- write down what you eat and what time of day. Then you can compare your all-raw days with the days you succumbed and see what tripped you.

At the moment you feel you are going to binge, look back at what you ate that day. Did something set you off? Did something bring on a craving?
Look at your all-raw days and see how this day differs...
What made you "successful" those days?

Look back at the day and see if, perhaps, there was some incident, some thoughts you had, some feeling that crept up, etc.; or perhaps happened a few days ago...

If these are your triggers, you can take steps to avoid them, and/or deal with them. May not stop the bingeing immediately, but it will prepare you for next time which, hopefully, you will be able to avoid.
Uncover why you were successful these days and repeat them! Maybe you are the type who does best on a schedule with a particular pattern of eating, particular types of food. Even eating the same stuff for a while (even if it gets boring) will help set you on a positive pattern, which will allow you to, eventually, add variety.

I look back at my eating patterns sometimes to see why I feel a bit "off"; for me, it is when I skip my greens that I don't function optimally: Lesson learned ;)

[squidly]

ReneeSC and Jaurequi.................THANK YOU for your support and the advice - really appreciate it.

I am on day four and doing well with the food but I am so irritable - I really hope this vanishes soon for my sake and my daughters. I actually craved greesn today and made a HUGE salad which I loved topped with Pad Thai sauce - yummy!!

At present I am eating way too many nut dishes but as long as I am raw and away from sugar I am happy. Even with a head cold which started on monday I feel better internally in that I am not bloated and sick in the stomach.


mandabear I hope you are making progress with your journey and any time you wish to talk then just drop a line. Always love to chat and help where I can.

[Jamie]

Squidly,

Oh, do I know about the irritability while on raw for just a few days. Seems to me that it like parting with a best friend,,, food that is..such a comfort, something to turn to that helps me feel better...so yes, it is common to be irritable!!! But it will soon pass and you will be feeling great and be soooooooooo thankful that you are on this raw journey..

Best of luck to you and keep up the great work!!!

Jamie

[sweetgoddess]

Mandabear, welcome back. I am glad eating raw and living food resonates inwardly with you. Try not to judge the moments when you make choices that dont support your goal. This can be done by remembering something Alissa says-- " it's about persistence, not perfection "
Say that to yourself often because it is truth! Persistence will get you there.

I agree with the other posts in regards to your parents, to communicate openly and honestly-and with love.
It is always best to start there!

You can do this, you can heal and grow into a new state, one unlike anything you have ever imagined. I have faith in you, and we will support you here.

Hugs~

[dreamrawalwz]

hi, I PMed you.

[mandabear]

thank you all so much for your advice. It's been like a few more days eating SAD, but I think I am ready to go back to raw. I was going through good changes, great moods, and somehow slipped back into my old habits. I think I need to take this more step-by-step and ease into raw rather than going completely raw cold turkey. But I will go completely vegan. I need to. I am going to let myself think about what i want for my body and not focus on what other people are telling me to do, I need to think for myself.

I really just want to be happy, and right now, I am not. I am going to eat high-raw this week and just set goals for myself. Goals to eat more raw, and run more, and maybe take up something new, like biking. I haven't weighed myself at all this month, which is good, but I need to treat my body better whether I am weighing myself or not. I am going back to therapy (for my ED) this Tuesday and I am going to start going to a group therapy. I hope the therapy and eating raw will help me out a lot. I can get over this, I just have to allow myself to try.

[squidly]

Good for you mandabear and any support extra you need then you know where to find us. Be good to yourself and hugs to you.