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View Full Version : anyone else become possessive about their food?



kaybee
11-28-2009, 08:54 AM
:eek::eek:

ok this post probably makes me sound crazy, and is fueled by my couchsurfers stealing one of my hard-to-get organic, ripe, avocados the other night, but this isnt the first time ive found myself becoming possessive about the food i have and need and i dont like this personality trait thats emerging in me!

i live somewhere where the availability of fresh organic stuff is not great, and im on a tight budget. the best way to get greens and stuff is to grow it yourself, as a lot of it grows well here but isnt commonly grown here and isnt grown or used in the amounts that i need to have it in. i grow what i can but at the moment lack a place to grow things, and even then i need to buy fruit as most isnt grown here. organic stuff is scarce and pretty pricey; the hfs only gets a delivery once a week and rarely has much for greens. i forage for greens when i can but its also a scarce time of year. I manage to live on fairly little money because i dont spend money on drink or cigs or take-away or processed food etc, so most of my money goes towards good, quality food. i buy the best quality i can afford, which doesnt always mean organic, but organic when its available and feasible.

Thing is, i find myself possessive about a lot of the food that i have at my house and dont really want to share it. i dont want to be uncharitable, but when i go out of my way or spend good money to buy this stuff, i dont really want to share with people who come over who dont care about their health. in the perfect world, i would love to feed EVERYONE super-high quality stuff so that they could ALL be healing their bodies. but realistically, i cant afford to do that and it frustrates me to let people have my good food when they are putting trash into their bodies the rest of the time (esp when they are smokers and drinkers etc). Last week i got 2 ripe organic avos for half price at the health shop. i cant usually afford these, i usually buy conventional, and its rare to find them ripe. My couchsurfers took it upon themselves to take one of them while i was sleeping and eat it. i discovered this when i went to make lunch the next day. i was FUMING. they think i overreacted, gave me a bad reference and thought i was being ridiculous. But this was food i was depending on having and they took without asking and without bothering to replace or even leave me money for, and its something that couldnt be easily replaced anyway. (they also took other fruit without permission, but the avo really made me angry).

Ive also found myself getting irritated when people are staying with me and ask to use my olive oil or something, which i buy the expensive organic kind and hate to see it used for frying and stuff, and have run into awkward situations where people want to share a meal but have brought something like non-organic potatoes and i have organic ones but i dont want to use all of mine to feed them but also dont want to mix theirs with mine and have to eat some of the non-organic ones when ive specifically made a choice to feed my body only the best quality stuff.... ARGH. i dont want to be so uptight about food choices that i seem uncharitable, but its just frustrating when im spending the energy and money to have only high-quality stuff around and then people who really arent dedicated to the quality of what they are using are asking to use it. :( this doesnt usually happen with friends who visit, usually just with couchsurfers and maybe i have to just find a better way of dealing with it (though i dont know what), though occasionally i have felt put out by even my friends using the high quality organic stuff even when they dont dedicate alot of energy to their own health; it puts me out because the stuff is expensive :(

Im not uptight about food when i go to others houses as far as eating organic, so i dont think ive developed disordered thinking or anything; ill eat nonorganic if thats what theyre having, but i dont like having to eat non-organic in my own house just to be able to share a meal with people and yet the availablity and cost of organic etc is such that i dont want to foot the bill for using only my stuff when a meal is shared. catch 22. i dont mind sharing stuff if it is free/cheap and/or abundant, such as salad from sea spinach i collect off the beach or edible flowers that grow in the greenhouse in abundance or whatever, or foraged salads if there is stuff available for them--in fact i DELIGHT in feeding people this cool stuff when it is available. and usually (but not always), im happy to try to feed my friends healthier food than they are used to eating (but i hate when they "waste" my oil by using it for frying etc). But to see these guys sludging my organic olive oil on their icky processed food, or frying it is really frustrating. i guess in that instance i could get a cheap bottle of cooking oil to keep around, but this still doesnt address my other "possessiveness" problems. the poor availability of the kind of stuff that i like to feed my body with makes it difficult to share meals when i have people (like couchsurfers) stay. i feel stuck here. can anyone suggest a "third" option, or have any other suggestions?

much appreciated

kaybee

Revvell
11-28-2009, 09:29 AM
If you have your own room ~ keep your food there. Avos and fruit don't usually have to be refrigerated so, anything that doesn't need refrigerating, store it in your room.

Aleesha Sattva
11-28-2009, 10:27 AM
okay i didn't read your post... cause honestly one looooooooong paragraph just isn't something i want to wade through but...

oh my gosh YES i am so possessive about my food. ESPECIALLY with people who are not raw. when i make myself some fudge balls (for example) i don't share those babies with anyone. they are mine mine mine mine all mine. if you are raw... come on over and have some but if you are filling your body with cooked SAD processed crap for the rest of the day, don't take my food.

http://i182.photobucket.com/albums/x87/recyclinggoddess/love00901.gif

Amii
11-28-2009, 10:34 AM
Ok I couldn't read all of that because it hurt my eyes just to look at geez but.. sounds like you're going into orthorexia territory and need to loosen up a bit? I'm not saying you are orthorexic just that you might eventually head that way, so maybe you need to eat a couple of non-organic foods and realise it isn't gonna harm you.

kaybee
11-28-2009, 10:42 AM
ok ill fix that into paragraphs when i have time later --sorry! :)

naa, i dont have a problem with non organic (or even cooked, or a bit of dairy here and there) if im at someone else's house or whatever or if i cant afford organic. but if im at my own house and ive spent the extra money to buy myself organic to feed my body, i get frustrated about having to share it or to mix it with non org just to share a meal with people and avoid awkwardness or seeming weird or uncharitable!

freshlight
11-28-2009, 10:45 AM
non organic foods do body a harm, it's a fact.

The problem is: you don't want to be the way you are....why not? Why not to be blunt and just say " I depend on this due to some health probs or allergies" or whatever. Make it simple, protect your food and make it clear to the others they are not allowed to use it. Basta.

Do't worry, you are a good person :) Why should you be charitabel if you can't afford it? Take care of yourself really well, that's the main thing. Only then can you start being charitable: you can only share if you have something to share. Enjoy your goodies :D

beckx
11-28-2009, 11:06 AM
i get the organic thing but i personally think it's more harmful to your health to even worry about the implications of mixing organic and non organic potatoes than it is to eat some non organic potatoes... know what i mean? in those situations i would say if you're going to put something into your body, you don't want any stress or anxiety surrounding it. just make it with love.

anyway, i've had things like the avocado incident happen and they made me MAD, so i do know what you're saying. it's kind of like, "ok so i made this pudding to taste like cherry garcia ice cream... but you eat cherry garcia ice cream anyway so why don't you just do that instead of FINISHING my pudding?" or when my frozen bananas get used up - bananas are pretty cheap, even organic, but if i put bananas in the freezer to have when i need them and then they aren't there when i need them, it's seriously irritating... you can't just freeze a banana on the spot.

i'd get some cooking oil to have on hand and keep food you don't want to share in your room or a special cabinet/drawer in the fridge that you can label. if people can't respect that they are being seriously rude and disrespectful of your home.

kaybee
11-28-2009, 01:47 PM
haha. ok yeah, thanks at least i know im not the only one who feels like this sometimes.

the thing is, it IS my home, so theres noone else that im sharing it with that SHOULD be taking my stuff. these guys who stayed with me who really just set me off were off of couchsurfing.com, and i sent them an email, wrote them a negative reference, and tried to file a couchsurfing complaint against them. they gave me a bad reference too, saying that im making a big deal out of nothing, but its NOT nothing. yeah, i wanted that avocado! but of course i wouldnt have made a big deal if they had apologized. rather they think their behavior (and other disrespectful behavior) was perfectly fine, so i guess thats whats compounding my frustration...which i guess is a separate issue, but it just brought my awareness of my possessiveness to the forefront because i was SO mad about it (and they appear to have taken my other additional 2 avocados when they left as well, perhaps out of spite) :eek:

and yeah i guess i do need to be better about defending my food choices for my health, especially in my own house. thing is, i didnt really want to share a meal with these guys in the first place (i.e. and mix the potatoes, haha) but i havent figured out how/where to draw the line so that i dont seem uncharitable but also dont have to compromise how I want to feed myself. i totally agree about the "meal made with love" thing which is why i compromise when i got to other peoples houses; i know they have made it/are offering it out of love and/or goodwill for me and somehow any negative health impact that whatever it is could potentially have nutritonally , doesnt matter to me in those instances. its more about figuring out how to deal with sharing meals at my own house, especially with people who are "potential friends" i.e. couchsurfers, but not yet friends yet, and not people that i feel inclined to share my organic stuff with cuz of the cost.

beckx--haha.the cherry garcia thing struck me as funny. its just too bad that healthy food is so expensive (and sometimes unavailable). in the ideal world, most of us would LOVE to feed everyone the taste-alike healthier alternative, and introduce everyone to foods that still taste great but are healthier for their bodies... its just too bad that these things become a commodity and precious to us because of their high cost or lack of availability :(

i feel similar to what aleesha said in regards to if you are raw come on over and dig in. "...but if you are filling your body with cooked SAD processed crap for the rest of the day, don't take my food. " its hard to figure out how to communicate that without feeling like im being offensive though!

edit: oops. sorry. why am i talking about organic potatoes on a raw foods website? i let that one slip by... sorry. availability of raw food stuff is so limited here and even more-so during the winter that i havent figured out how to get by using the spuds... substitute "lettuce" for "potatoes" in the post...same point.

Revvell
11-28-2009, 02:12 PM
I know where I'd draw the line ~ I wouldn't let "guys" I've met on the internet who I didn't know come to my home and who don't respect me and my "castle" AND who steal my food!

I'm missing something here methinks. Hoping so. :rolleyes:

freshlight
11-28-2009, 02:30 PM
I thought you lived together...well, if it was someone you didn't know then......now you will probably be more choosy about things....and people :)

RawKnitster
11-28-2009, 03:40 PM
couchsurfers? I don't get it. :confused: I consider myself charitable when I let my brother stay with me, but even that was irritating. And he always asked if he could use something.

As for being possessive about food, I understand that. I do that with my own family. I share with them, but I still feel they are eating "my" food.

D'vorah
11-28-2009, 03:49 PM
I get it, totally. When I travel with my husband, he eats crap and then comes back to the hotel room and eats my fruit, which would have been my breakfast tomorrow, then he gets up and eats crap for breakfast, leaving me with nothing. This usually plays out at conferences he's attending, so he runs off to meetings, leaving me trying to figger out what to eat.

And, yes, if you have high quality olive oil for raw, it makes sense, but to use that olive oil to fry things, well, really, what's the point?

I think this is where communication and setting boundaries is key, if others aren't going to get defensive and make it a fight. Unfortunately, for me, hubby gets incredibly defensive and disrespectful, so, I'm left with either fending for myself for food after the fact, or hiding it.

You aren't alone.

freshlight
11-28-2009, 04:03 PM
Unfortunately, for me, hubby gets incredibly defensive and disrespectful, so, I'm left with either fending for myself for food after the fact, or hiding it.


wow, this sounds like a nightmare. You must be a very tolerant person. Take care!

Green_Woman
11-28-2009, 04:35 PM
There are some pretty drastic assumptions in this thread already, so I'm going to NOT add to the assumptions and instead, just suggest a course of action:

Set Boundaries. Then Stick to them.

People will only respect you IF you require respect.

Your possessions will only be considered valuable IF you make it clear that THEY ARE.

Your Life is YOURS alone - if you don't stand up for yourself, No One else will.

This is not depressing... it's empowering!!! Imagine how much you can do for yourself (and thus for others) when you take control of YOUR life. :)


Good luck to each of you.

Aleesha Sattva
11-28-2009, 06:35 PM
i love this green woman! (((hugs)))

lovenlife
11-28-2009, 07:41 PM
I totally do not feed my hard earned, organic, yummies with people who would rather go to Mickeee deees.

I dont think it is selfish at all to keep your food for yourself. You are building your body and taking care of you. You dont need permission nor need to expalin to anyone.

For me, I would never have anyone surf on my couch ever...unless they were someone I love, trust and respect and they respect me. To me, that is where the problem lies.

I feed my girl I am coaching my raw stuff (she is amazing with all she blesses me with as well) and I do not attempt to feed others who rather eat BLTS and Sausage Egg n cheese....ugh. I feel it is a waste I really do.

I can only afford to feed me right now. When Ic an afford to feed others I will. What I can do is teach them by example and they can learn why a ripe organic avocado is GOLD!!!!

Green_Woman
11-28-2009, 09:06 PM
I love this Aleesha!!! Who is a Light... :) :) :)