is food dividing your family?

[gener]

Hi,

well, a couple of years ago, I decided to change my eating habits from omnivorous to vegan and have gotten flack from just about everyone I live with and socialize with. My mom thinks I "have a serious mental problem" and my dad thinks it's rediculous to think of animals as my equals, and worse yet to not burn that crap out of my food. (as you can see, I'm irritated). None of my friends will talk to me! They think have an eating disorder!

I only have one person on board, and that's my little sister. She does whatever I do, and has been vegan with me. Now we've decided to eat only Raw and I'm PETRIFIED of what my parents will think when they find out that this holiday season, I'm not going to put a bunch of garbage in my body for their satisfaction.

It seems like anyone who goes against the grind is immediately hated, or feared, or misunderstood for no logical reason other than misunderstanding. I'm so tired of it! Sometimes I feel like I just want to move away...but that's so sad to me.

And it doesn't matter how much I explain and explain and explain myself, they think I'm suffering from disordered eating, and my mom is just like "oh well, NOW what am I going to make for dinner since half the family won't eat it! And I'm NOT making two dinners!!!" and then gets really upset about it, even sad.

Sometimes I just wish I could fade into the walls...and not be noticed by anybody...

[Veganforlife]

Do you have Alissa's book or DVDs? Would they watch that, look through the book, or even try a Raw creation?
If you showed them befores and afters and healing that people have done going Raw, would they be receptive? I take it you are young and you and your sister live with your folks?
See if they would agree to eat one day a month Raw and have them help prepare the meals. That could be fun!
Good luck!

[gener]

thanks for the reply!

yeah we live with our parents. I'm too poor to buy alissas book, but I think I might try preparing a meal for them....maybe next week. I'll have to make it SUPER tasty...

thanks again!

[Revvell]

It seems like anyone who goes against the grind is immediately hated, or feared, or misunderstood for no logical reason other than misunderstanding. I'm so tired of it! Sometimes I feel like I just want to move away...but that's so sad to me. .

In actuality, that's not true. I've been vegetarian for over 23 years and rarely experienced that. Certainly no hatred.




... my mom is just like "oh well, NOW what am I going to make for dinner since half the family won't eat it! And I'm NOT making two dinners!!!" and then gets really upset about it, even sad.


How about if you speak with her about making food with you? Get some really great raw recipes such as pecan pie, or various other "traditional" dishes. That will answer her questions.

There's a bit of a learning curve and adjustment to making raw "gourmet". It's really not as hard as many make it. If mom can read a recipe, she can make great raw dishes. Point out ~ nothing unusual here. C still equals Cup; Tbl. still equals Tablespoon; food processor is still a food processor and pecans, dates, etc. are still food. Give it a shot ~ and be gentle.

[Veganforlife]

THERE ARE SO MANY RECIPES HERE. sorry. didn't mean to yell! lol. typing on my fon.
one that my die-hard (nice name, huh) son in law loved was the pasta and marinara. you can use a veggie peeler to make the noodles (out of zucchini).
I'm sure others will suggest too. OH! The eggless egg salad is really good.

I agree with Miss Revvell - tone down YOUR frustration. Being angry with them will accomplish nothing...

[ReneeH]

Absolutely NOT tooting my own horn here, but since you obviously have access to this site, why not show them my two 30 day threads with photos! Also, take them to Alissa's Grezzo site & show them that there is even a Restaurant that sells Living foods...HEY, that's another thing I'd do in your shoes...take Alissa's lead--call it LIVING Food instead of RAW!!! People seem to respond to me better when I call it LIVING FOOD. Hope it works for you too!!!!

[RawSar]

Ah! Calling it living food instead *light bulb is turned on*
That's a good way ReneeH!

I know its frustrating for my mom and relatives (who's ever house we're going to) during the holidays. There's all kinds of different and mixed emotions I get from all of them about our lifestyle. They 'can't' change the whole menu just for me and my boyfriend because well you know tradition is tradition and they think 'rabbit food' sucks but my mom does like to try and make one of Alissa's recipes (we gave her THE book ;))
So that's nice of my mom but thats only one dish and everyone (depending on how it looks, you know if theres too much green no one will touch it lol) will try some but we still bring our whole dinner over too (incase we dont like what she's made :o) ** It's not your recipes Alissa its what my mom did to it**
So this way my mom can still feel like she has made something for everyone even though its not a whole dinner for my boyfriend and I but just one dish.
Relatives though.. they ask if there is anything they can make for us but because we're not that close with them I just tell them not to worry that we are totally fine with bringing out own dinners but thanks for asking.

I always make one dish for everyone to try. This helps them realize that rabbit food can be quite tasty. Now my whole family asks for cheezecake!

Any kind of comments like "she's weird/crazy/mental".. ect I just make a joke out of it and not let it get to me. And for the family that I am closest with I joke back and say "we'll see who lives the longest" :D

I hope that food doesn't divide your family but that everyone can just let everyone be and put aside any disagreements and enjoy the holidays together.

[EZ rider]

I think the only way a person really "gets it" about the raw food lifestyle is to experience it. Try to get her to go raw for 30 days by joining the monthly challenge. That way she can move from a position of ignorance to a place of knowledge.

[Shine]

I am new to the life-style as far as my own commitment goes so I am going through the phase of "explaining" to family, friends and co-workers. So far, I have had great success and this is what I am doing:

I will NOW be calling what I eat LIVING because that is a fantabulous idea Renne!

When I got Alissa's book (maybe you could bring parents here like Renne said or print out some info from the site to give them) I got REALLY EXCITED to show parents/husband about what I found and what I was going to try. I showed the before and after pics (also on the site), got prepared to answer the protein question, even had other sources to give them which helped to not only show my enthusiasm for this new way of living, but also showed that I know more about it than they do.....arm yourself with knowledge!!

I have made a few things for everyone. I have been bringing in all the ingredients to work and making my lunched there. It is getting people interested and asking questions. And a pretty presentation can go along way!

One thing I have found with hubby is he really enjoys the food we have been creating - but he can't call it by Alissa's recepie names sometimes. Like Mock Salmon because it isn't salmon and it gets his taste buds annoyed. He'd rather I call it the Walnut/Red Pepper dip. That way his taste buds are prepared for what they are about to dive into.

Get excited, not frustrated! More people will follow a smile than a frown!:)

[Veganforlife]

Good advice Shine.
And ReneeH? Definitely toot your horn - my bad for not suggesting all you've done!
Another thought to original poster? Show them the photos thread. I'm a visual person and when I first went Raw THAT really appealed to me.
good luck!

[CosimaMoon]

It sounds to me like they are very threatened and frightened of what you are doing. Are they typically very conservative, traditional people? I know I get flack for my diet habits as well, but they're usually all in good humor.

And as for them thinking you have an eating disorder...that's ridiculous. They really need to do some research. I've had an eating disorder for years, and wanting to be HEALTHY is definitely not it!

If I were you, I would just try to show them the hard facts about why your diet is superior, and if they won't listen to science, well, then that's their problem. Let them see how healthy and radiant you are, and maybe then they'll listen!

Good luck!

[rawrawks]

When I first heard the word "raw" it turned me off. I always call the way I eat "whole and living foods" and if wanted or needed, I add the idea of it not being heated above 105 degrees so as to preserve the enymes and nutrients.

Yes prepare something delish...always great to start with desserts..haha

But really, YOU know what your body wants and needs. They dont live in their and have no way of knowing.

It is a big person that stands tall and stands for what they want depsite all the rest and what they eat. Let them feel what they feel about the food they make and eat. That is not your deal. Sometimes we buy into others feelings and let that sway us from our place.

It feels very empowering to me and for me, to stand apart and eat food that makes me LIVE not "diehard" sad stuff (LOVE IT LUCY LU)......I dont want to die hard..who does? I wanna live easy.

Yesterday at a mountain hike, people were eating the worst of the worst of sad food (hot dogs and tater chips) and I felt so incredibly good eating my fruit salad and later my miso soup . I felt so happy to not succumb to the eat- it -because- thats -just -what- people- eat mentality.

GET where you stand and stand there. Be your sisters strength and partner with her. One thing, when people think you are crazy, they leave you alone.

[gener]

i'm going to take your guys' advice as much as I can. First, i'm just going to stick with it and try to ignore their comments. As soon as I can I'm going to try to make them something they'll never forget...I don't know yet, but I'll figure something out.

They are SUPER conservative, but I'm going to try to be as positive as possible from now on.

[katchmoleen]

Hi, gener, I am "super conservative" and also a raw foodie, so don't give up hope, lol. Seriously, I wonder if the "conservative" vs "liberal" thing might play into it. Like they are thinking, this is just one more of her super wacko liberal things she is into. Rather than realizing you are doing it for your health. Also, are you very outspoken about animal rights? If so, you might want to tone that down, as that can be offensive too. Not saying give up your beliefs, but if that is hooked into eating raw, then some people will never listen to you no matter what. Try to make the raw eating a separate issue having to do with health and feeling good and delicious food.

Not sure if I am making sense....hope it helps.

[Revvell]

Funny how, to me, conservative means one would eat conservatively as in REAL food, not fake, frozen, dead stuff. Guess I don't know that work "correctly". What's it mean to you? "Normal" as opposed to "natural"??? Like the way everyone else is?

[katchmoleen]

I was referring to "conservative" politically, religiously, and socially. Some people will stereotype that kind of conservative as also only eating frozen tv dinners and watching game shows:D.

[RawHealthyBeauty]

So my best bet would be is to have a really good and happy attitude about the raw and living food.
Find all the raw food experts online that are strong who would set a really good and positive example for you and for your health in your defense. :cool: Research for all kinds of raw food recipes online, since there are tons of them out there for free to look at.
Keep in mind that for those who are eating SAD food are just not educated about the raw and living food, because it is a very "NEW" concept to many.
It's not always easy for some to break out of a mold that is comfortable and familar, even if it's unhealthy... :(
Empower yourself with knowledge to educate those around you to help others to gradually open up their minds about good, positive, and new concepts. :)

[rawrawks]

Rev,Normal is a setting on a washing machine, not much else normal these days.:D

[babeak]

Well way back some almost 20 yr ago I went from cattle country steak and potatoes and moved to the east coast and became a veg. It was not hard after never liking to cook meat, etc. and having been forced to participate as our family butchered animals each year...deers, hog, calves, chickens, etc.

That was hard for them to accept. THen I became vegan. I gave up our family religion I was raised with...literally and figuratively. They have been praying for my soul ever since. Once they have seen that I am not into this as a fad, they gradually come to accept it. However, they are ABSOLUTELY CONVINCED that I DEPRIVE my poor husband of meat and insist on feeding it to him while we visit. He eats it to be polite as he is not vegetarian or vegan. However, when T-day came one year and the spread was mostly choices of meat, then he ate vegan with me.

They just accept it now. Mom tried a couple of times to do vegan for me, but then decided carrot sticks and celery sticks were sufficient. DB had a great idea of soup and salads for X-mas one year and their idea of salad and mine are completely different. The table was so filled with meat toppings for salad to accompany the 5 meat soup. :-P I knew it was too good to be true that they had finally seen the light!