Fell off the wagon, oh the shame....

[Marin Mom]

For over 2 years I have been such a good raw foodie. I have all the equipment, can prepare gourmet raw if I choose to, am well read, big on animal rights and attend as many raw events as I can. But with a recent move, losing a beloved dog and now battling "change of life" symptoms I can't seem to resist the temptations that my SAD loving husband and kids keep in the house (I just polished off another helping of chinese food and chocolate ice cream and it wasn't even VEGAN). Mornings and lunch are easy but dinner is so hard. I wish I could just throw the bad stuff out but I don't think it would be fair to the rest of my family.

I'm so glad this board is here for me to vent, I remember reading about others who have been there too.

[Aleesha Sattva]

No need to feel shame... there's no room for that in your life! Instead, feel empowered that you know what you really want to eat.

Take that empowerment with you... it'll serve you well. http://i182.photobucket.com/albums/x87/recyclinggoddess/thcheer3.gif

(((hugs)))

[rawrawks]

Good for you for all the raw you have eaten..that is NOT lost. Eat the next raw meal

[Marin Mom]

Thanks for the encouragement!

[Revvell]

Welcome home ~ All I got to say is, be prepared. Easier to deal with a non-raw family when you're satiated and have stuff YOU like prepared ahead ~ and even eaten ahead. Ask me how I know. ;)

[Care4raw]

Oh "gawd' I can relate to everything you wrote!It happens.
I am trying to see what other triggers there are for me. I think personally i am most vulnerable at the change of seasons. For instance i was content with mango season and other things for ages.Then when seasons change ( like now). I am not as enthusiastic about transitioning to other produce and I become vulnerable with my discontent, leaving my established food loves and routines.

Sooo not brilliant answers yet, just noticing things, (about some patterns of this sometimes stubborn personality', as the Zen master said : )

So sorry about losing your beloved dog by the way. Its so very sad and hard to lose our love ones.Just awful.

Peace and light to you in your grieving.
(BTW are you still a fellow "Marin mom, with your mentioned recent move?)

[RawKnitster]

The change of season and feeding a non-raw family are minor incidentals, easily overcome. You can take those into stride. You have up until now! The REST of what you are dealing with is not so easy. I think there are stages in a rawbie life where temptations to eat cooked are very strong. The two year mark is one of them. Dealing with grief is another. Then there is the change of life. You were hit with a triple whammy! :eek:

Shame is debilitating. Don't fall into that trap! It is almost like shame has its own life, complete with survival instinct. Don't ask me to explain that, I'm not sure I can.

Good luck, Marin Mom! I know you will get back to it. Keep something extra special in the house to eat when you feel your rawness being threatened by SAD cravings.

Also, keep in mind that the "change of life" is a LOT easier raw. I'm living proof of that. ;)

[katacykls]

Marin mom you rock. Everything is O.k. Craving or eating cooked food is something that happens to all of us at some point or points...it sounds like you may have been doing some emo. eating. But,You are doing an excellent job at noticing that you have to get back on track. Make sure you eat your fruit and greens daily and all of those cravings will soon say goodbye to you.

[RawHeaven]

Marin Mom it happened to me as well this past summer. I think we even became raw around the same time...two years ago.

I'm slowly making my way back and not worrying about it.

I'm just thankful, as Aleesha mentions, that I know how I want to eat. And more importantly that I'm educated about it as well.

I remember reading something during my research that after 2-3 years some folks may hit a wall. I shrugged it off when I first went raw, but now I think there is some validity to this. For anyone reading this, don't be programmed by this. I'm just sharing in case anyone else experiences something similar. I was also experiencing life transitions as well. Emotional eating monster showed up again! :)

I'm writing to let you know you're not alone!

Pumping the fist for raw foods.

Hey.

[Marin Mom]

Thanks for your responses. My pity party is over and I managed to stay raw today (treating myself to "Go Raw Chocolate Super Cookies" from WF certainly helped). Eating a little cooked certainly started the slippery slope for me. Tomorrow I will make more raw goodies as I dust off the dehydrator.

Care4raw I am still in Marin so I don't have to change my name!

[VeGenesis]

For over 2 years I have been such a good raw foodie. I have all the equipment, can prepare gourmet raw if I choose to, am well read, big on animal rights and attend as many raw events as I can. But with a recent move, losing a beloved dog and now battling "change of life" symptoms I can't seem to resist the temptations that my SAD loving husband and kids keep in the house (I just polished off another helping of chinese food and chocolate ice cream and it wasn't even VEGAN). Mornings and lunch are easy but dinner is so hard. I wish I could just throw the bad stuff out but I don't think it would be fair to the rest of my family.



Oh My Gosh! Someone should give you a metal or an award of some kind just for surviving! Did you hear the loss in your post? Lost home, loss your beloved friend, loss your normal way of feeling... It is no surprise you are grieving and want to be as close as possible to your family and protect them from the harm you know is in cooked food.

I hereby give you a Super Mom Award of Distinction!

You must be an excellent mother - your words tell it in the story. No problem eating raw vegan at breakfast and lunch... non family times. But with all your loss, your good mother instincts are telling you to hold onto and protect your kids and your family.

We are social people, so with so much loss and changes in your life, you naturally 1) Want to be a part of your family (even eating the same food), 2) "just throw the bad stuff" and protect them from harm.

I am going to pass on a piece of wisdom I got from our youngest, Jess is now 7. He told me that he knows why I eat gulay (vegetables)! It is because I love him so much and don't want do die and leave him without a father like the other kids (76% of the kids in our local public school do not have a father in their home).

One by one we have enlisted our kids to help us to have a better life. Maybe one of your kids would like to go raw to help you - at least for the dinner meal. It doesn't hurt to ask!

Vincent was the first to want what he calls "eating God's way!" He actually wanted to "eat like papa" before his mom decided to go raw. His older teenage brother, John, joined up too - "if it's ok to sometime eat something cooked at his friend's house." (He has actually got his friend's parents to be about 60% raw by telling them about us! They now fix raw food meals when they invite him.)

And little Jess, he wants to grow up and be a good papa and always eat gulay, so he doesn't always have to stay in bed or die. Jess wants to eat raw vegan so he will be a good papa! It makes me cry.

.

[michigan roman]

mm if i had a family and was cooking for kids / spouse and around
all that temptation ide be nowhere near a rawfoodist , ide just be
able to stay vegan for ethical reasons . so to me your doing great
to still be working at it

but im not giving you a break on the non vegan stuff :eek::D

[Seedy]

Please don't feel shame about food. Life is hard enough as it is! Your goal is to eat the best food that you can - depending on the circumstances. Usually that's 100% raw food - but when life puts you in a situation where you have to choose between SAD and cooked vegan - well a little brown rice or some cooked black beans aren't going to kill you. My point is, look at food as a sliding scale and eat the healthiest you can on a day to day basis. I find that if I take a relaxed look at my food, I will always NATURALLY gravitate to a raw food diet. Any little detours along the way are just part of a sometimes challenging life and not worth fussing over.
Seedy

[Marin Mom]

Thanks Seedy, Michigan Roman and especially VeGenesis for your kind words, and reminding me we all need to give ourselves a break once in a while.

My comfort foods are in the dehydrator as we speak, having them prepared ahead of time really is key to sticking with the plan.:)

[Raw Angel Mom]

You probably will find my response weird but i say to you CELEBRATE. Yes do

This is an experience that will help you to help others in a deeper level.

Just learn from this. Until you transition back to raw food, don't let guilt get the best of you neither let excuses justify your new choices. Both feed the addiction and reinforce them. Instead, you know this isn't ideal but you still choose to eat them, this is a responsible choice and won't feed the addiction.

I so understand the stress level and sometime eating food that isn't best for us and far better then doing the anti-depressant pill. I would have a plan to deal with the stress. First stress eats up your mineral and vitamin D. So make a commitment to go outside in the sunlight (when cloudy or morning/evening). Do a 3 min jumping exercise whatever it is to get your lymphatic fluid to move. If you cannot afford it, go on vacation in your mind through meditation and allow yourself to feel good during that peaceful time. COMMIT TO FIVE DEEP breath for any stress occuring. These are suggestion and you can come up with your own plan.

I would say be PROUD OF YOU and focus on your accomplishment. You are still making room for the good stuff and this is UGE. Plus you gave a good brake of two years during this 100% raw, so be happy about this.

Watch dvd again about raw food to motivate you back.

Perhaps, you can allow yourself to eat certain cook food if this is beyond you can handle, just to trick your mind (Such steam vegetables, beans or rice). Stay away from dairy and love your body enough to do that for her.

You could need something from the dairy, research what dairy contain and add food that contain this nutrients in your diet.

Find out about Negative magnetic field. You could have that in your new location. I would look into fen shuei (there is a dvd fen shuei for dummys, very well done). You need a healthy energy flow, other wise it will affect your health and well being.

You will get through this and don't forget to celebrate your accomplishment and your life.

[Marin Mom]

Thanks for the good advice and encouragement. Surprisingly, it was easy for me to go back to raw. Knowing what goes on in the farming industry helps to keep me on the path.

St. John's Wort also works great (for me anyway) for lifting my spirits. :D

[SuziS]

I am in the same situation. I have been raw for 2 1/2 years and really struggling for the last 6 months. I feel like my will power is gone. I keep coming back to raw though because it makes me feel so good and tastes so good!

[michigan roman]

what helps me to keep pushing to find my perfect raw diet is my belief that our souls are eternal , upon which we grow body after body til we eventually master the physical laws of the universe and attain complete eternal control of our body states . thusly i believe in what some term reincarnation

and at the same time i look to no god thing to do anything for me and or make me eternal , i look at it like its all on me . just like every other aspect of survival in the universe = if people looked to a god thing to build them a house / empire / computer it'd never happen . well same with attaining an eternal body state in my logic

and to attain an eternal body state one must learn how to perfectly fuel the existance of their cells , and ive determined that a big lesson weve learned is that raw food is alot better at fueling our bodies cells than the cooked slush were all made of . so now im focused on either developing the roots on my soul or instincts carried in my eternal concious / soul and into my next body that shall have me knowing what to eat from the very first moment i begin life in that future body . thusly increasing my odds of attaining an eternal body state that body . where as if i werent focused on developing the proper roots / instincts currently and just said the hell with it when this body wears out a god thing is gonna make me eternal ide eat whatever junk tasted good
to my de-sensitived taste buds from 40 some previous years of wrongful eating habits . and in my outlook join the rest of the foolish people on earth currently eating wrong and destining themselves to have to go thru the birth and death of more future bodies before they master the physical laws of the universe and thusly attain an eternal body state

but ive still not counted out attaining complete
eternal control of my current body state ..............;)

another point in my outlook since theres mothers here is that if the healthiest tooth / eye / bone / etc is made from raw plants and water wouldnt the healthiest human egg or sperm also be made from the same , and thusly make for the healthiest baby . POINT BEING FOOD IS MASSIVELY IMPORTANT

within decades the people of earth still eating wrong shall go extinct !!!

[DopeRawAbundance]

I find that feeling any sort of shame when giving into the temptation of less-than-stellar cuisine is unhealthy, and will inevitably lead into more crashes of devil food indulgence. I've had some recent ongoing crashes myself... I think it was a combination of the fact that I get free junkies like cinnamuffins from food pantries and the lowered sense of well-being I got as a result of being cold all the time (I have heat now thankfully). It can be quite a hard thing to break, I have a part of me that wants to stop, and then a more impulsive part of me that just wants to go for it, and I begin to lose sight of my own food-related beliefs. I even convinced myself there was some sort of nutritional benefit to keeping Bat Bait in my diet.

http://img30.imageshack.us/img30/9619/wholegrenn.png

My advice, wean yourself off the junkies at a comfortable rate. It took me a bit to relearn myself that in the foodrealm, Medicine comes first, Tastebuddrugs second. And there are such thing as Medicinal Tastebuddrugs. :cool:

[snoops]

Doperawabundance - you make me laugh:D

Michiganroman - I tend to believe in reincarnation too and you post was very good for me to read. I almost past by this thread thinking I had read most of it, although not responded yet, sorry marinmom. So I'm glad I read it for your post.

Marinmom - everyone else said it and I know you are back on track now. There is no shame in falling off the wagon as long as you pick yourself up and climb back on!!

[michigan roman]

Doperawabundance - you make me laugh:D

Michiganroman - I tend to believe in reincarnation too and you post was very good for me to read. I almost past by this thread thinking I had read most of it, although not responded yet, sorry marinmom. So I'm glad I read it for your post.

Marinmom - everyone else said it and I know you are back on track now. There is no shame in falling off the wagon as long as you pick yourself up and climb back on!!

thanx snoops that helps because i catch alot of greif for
my against the grain beleifs on raw foodism / atheism / reincarnation / veganism , its usually said to me ' theres got to be a god ' ' you need a good steak ' ' you need some good hot food ' etc . i hear it so much its good to hear some backing :)

[Tenuho]

join the queue......i had like 50 mangos brought for me from aboard when they went i became a temp sushi addict lol