Help me

[Thick]

How do you deal with issues that come up from not numbing yourself with food? I find that all this food obsession just covers up real issues that I have and they are hard to impossible to deal with.

So, how have you parented yourself through the murky waters of your underworld?=)

[pixie_333]

at every moment we are given an oppertunity to change. people are trained to have hardships and struggles etc... it really needs to not be that bad in life. positive thinking and just dismissing things are sometimes challenging to do.. but just do it and see what happens. we are entitled to have a beautiful life.

i'm not perfect by any means... but if i have a goal in mind to give up an unhealthy thing... i replace it with something healthy. over doing things can put a negative effect. sometimes participating on a hobby, getting in nature and invoking love and laughter into life can help steer away old behavor thinking and habits.

it's basicaly just a matter of outlook. some people insist we need programs etc like 12 steps for things.. they can help but really it's not releasing the problems.. it's keeping you in it. we're the captain in our lives.

[revdrcyn]

Oh my, it has been a 22+ year journey so far . . . beginning with admitting I was bulimic and anorexic at age 25.

My self-parenting is a spiritual (not religious) process every day, and it is not always easy.

I will say this -- a raw vegan diet has:

(1) given me a true sense of what satiety feels like - this is a first.

(2) allowed me the peace of mind that comes from knowing the food I eat is contributing TO my health and wellbeing, not taking away FROM it

(3) alleviated my fear of gaining weight

Still, refraining from abusing food allows issue to surface. From my own experience, I see this is an ongoing process. Fortunately, the process gets easier, less painful.

No matter what, it is not something I would do alone. Supportive, loving friends are crucial.

I send you my Love, energy, and support. If you ever need a shoulder, I am here.

Blessings,

Cynthia

[StarFire]

wow... great post Thick...

sheesh... well.. I've hit bottom more than once, and the climb back up is humbling along with a bit confusing as to WHY I allowed myself to 'go there... AGAIN.'

but I have seen - that with each time I get back up -- I'm stronger ~ I see clearer ... and like rvdrcyn said... friends are crucial. I have some raw friends... and many that aren't... so my support system comes from RFT and another site that I visit.

no matter how far I fall - or what challenge I'm facing... my RFT family is ALWAYS here to help me... love me ... not judge me... and make me laugh again!

how have I parented myself thru those pitfalls... ??? wow...
Well -- I am learning to 'focus on choosing my path... not the potholes'!!

one thing I've learned over the years... it's okay to feel the pain... let it out... like detox... let it pass... release it. I've also learned to be gentle with myself... to ... 'not sweat the small stuff'.... and be as patient and forgiving with myself as I am with my family and friends.

http://i149.photobucket.com/albums/s43/FireStar_830/780285tuqf6ukche1.gif and chocolate always helps!

[katchmoleen]

I am pretty new in this process, 11 weeks now, but it seems like being raw has given me more courage to talk about things with the people in my life who are hard to deal with. And more patience to accept things that I know probably won't change. I guess because I feel so much better physically and mentally, I have the mental energy to handle things I just could not before. They stress me out less. We shall see if that continues, but I think it will. Sort of a mental and emotional detox, if you will.

[Revvell]

I tap on them so they just go away and I'm not concerned about them. They're all coming from the past which I brought into my present. Tapping (EFT) just makes them less or not even ~ prevalent in my life anymore.

[margoss]

I've noticed that when I'm gettng ready to go back, I hear my inner voice telling me not to. If I do, then I says "I told you not to. Now, you have to deal with what you knew would happen." It's not fussing at me, just speaking the truth. I fall off less & less. I know is not going to make me happy so I find somthing else to do. Many times, if I can, I get on the net for raw things & great stories.
I realized that many things don't bother me as much as would have in the past. Takes me longer to get angry, if I do. I saw my M for the 1st time last week in over a yr, we live 20 mls from each other:confused:. I was amazed that I didn't have the emotions I thought I would seeing her..I had no emotions to her which was good for me.
don't beat yourself up, just get up & get back on. Your lapses will be farther apart.

[kat4]

I think I've posted this link here before, it deals with the emotional aspects of being raw and food.
There are several parts:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=icsFTnltYuY

[MiahTay]

Thick - I could have written your original post THIS MORNING. I'm currently sitting down at the bottom of the pit (at least I have shovel in hand). I found out someone was coming to visit and it sent me into a (almost) three day nose dive. I said, "NO MORE!(thus, the shovel)" I told my hubby what I needed to do to manage that relationship to make it "work" (or at least bearable) for me and I am going to make some changes even though it's hard to confront things that have been the way they are for almost 25 years (I've already written and sent out the e-mail letting them know of the changes). And if the other people can't deal with compromise it really is THEIR problem. AND, I informed my children today that I am going to be taking an hour in the morning devoted to prayer for myself and an hour at lunchtime devoted to study for myself. I am taking back my time and energy!

You wanna borrow my shovel! (or you can e-mail me anytime, even if you just need to vent)

Blessings,
Heather

[MiahTay]

I was thinking about the PROCESS I actually went through to get to the point of actually making a change that changed the relationship/issue I was dealing with. First I stewed on it for 2 days, then I cried, then I got really ticked off, then I started writing (ranting would be a better word), by the time I was done writing I had identified very specific things they could do to make a difference in my stress level. I realized that even though I knew I couldn't change the people I was dealing with, I could ask them to change their behavior when it came to their interaction with me, and that is ultimately exactly what I did, and it was scary but it was also well received. I was nice, I explained exactly what I needed them to do for me and it will make their visit with us much more doable, without a bunch of added stress on me. And I had my hubby backing me up, that if they didn't want to do the small things I was asking them to do ... they didn't need to come.

Again, this was a great post Thick.

Blessings,
Heather

[Thick]

then I started writing (ranting would be a better word), by the time I was done writing I had identified very specific things they could do to make a difference in my stress level.

This helped me so much, thank you. It's easy for me to just become so irritated and confused by overwhelming emotions, that it is hard to articulate what I need, even to myself--and especially with others.

It's hard to separate a calm true answer from the rage-self pity-helplessness-and give ups. Writing will definately help me so much. I don't need to air ALL my grievances aloud, just find my truths and let them be okay--and intelligently control my world with premeditated, well chosen statements.

Thanks everyone for all your insightful help. I really, really appreciate having so many clear thinking raw goddesses to call upon in my times of need=) Thank you!

[RawKnitster]

Meditating and/or journaling. Writing down my dreams and figuring out what I should be learning from them has helped me become more aware. Dreams often help me see my problems clearly and sometimes point out how they are hurting me or holding me back. Makes it much easier to let go of bad habits, thought patterns and past hurts once you see they are not serving you well.

For temporary relief.... I'm agree with Starfire. A little raw chocolate dessert always helps. I'm starting to think it is the making of the chocolate dessert that centers me more than the eating of it. Fortunately I have friends that love my chocolate creations. :)

[Veganforlife]

I tap on them so they just go away and I'm not concerned about them. They're all coming from the past which I brought into my present. Tapping (EFT) just makes them less or not even ~ prevalent in my life anymore.

I agree with Revvell...:D

[Thick]

Thanks again to all of you. Raw food handles my food issues so well--and since they are so handled, and were such an overwhelmingly huge part of my consciousness--now I have time to fix and analyze other parts of myself..it is easier, now--for now=)

[CosimaMoon]

How do you deal with issues that come up from not numbing yourself with food? I find that all this food obsession just covers up real issues that I have and they are hard to impossible to deal with.

So, how have you parented yourself through the murky waters of your underworld?=)

Thank you so much for posting this. I've been thinking of making a post like this, but was afraid of getting very negative responses, which I have gotten in the past on other forums. I want to overcome my eating disorder, I just don't know how...hoping raw can help me as it seems to have helped others.

Love & Peace

<3

[Green_Woman]

I tap on them so they just go away and I'm not concerned about them. They're all coming from the past which I brought into my present. Tapping (EFT) just makes them less or not even ~ prevalent in my life anymore.

Yep, yep. I do this, now, too... really works!