Binged and now very depressed

[FreshStart]

I am so addicted to cooked food it is ruining my life. On my way to class I had a blow out binge at MacDonald's. And the thing is it didnt even taste good when I was threw. I now sit here in class feeling depressed and upset with my self. I am 37 and I cannot control myself!
I want to cry and beg my bodies forgiveness for the abuse I have done to it , but I feel it is too late. I am on medical prescriptions because I have been so mistreating to my body!
I dont want to die because of the food I eat. And I am sure I am killing myself with the food I eat.
I want to be healthy! My mom died at the age of 55 because she was so unhealthy and over weight. I want to live a long and healthy life.
Is this a goal that is to late for me?

Food rules my life. I think about food 24 hours a day.
I will be getting my grad loan checks and I have been planning what restaurants to eat and what fast food to bring to school for lunch.
How sad is that!

It just seemed to hit me all at once today! I dont want to live this way!
Will food addiction always feel like this?

I am so upset and I feel alone and helpless.
Food is killing me!

[RawYorkCity]

I understand how difficult it is, but at least you are aware of how damaging cooked food is to you physically and emotionally. Fill your want and desire for food with raw fruits and vegetables. You're starving for nutrients! You will not regret this decision.

[RawKnitster]

It is never too late! And NO, food addiction will not always feel like that. Take heart! You have the desire to change and that is the first requirement. Build on that with persistence.

How long has your Mom been gone? It took me 2 years to pull out of my depression over losing my Mom. One would think losing a Mother to disease would make it easier to address those issues but that wasn't the case for me. I used food to cope with my depression. Now that I look back I wish I had gotten counseling instead.

Get on the 30 day challenge. Put all you focus on raw food. Saturate yourself with raw knowledge and spend time planning your raw meals.

What helped me was keeping a journal. In addition to writing a blog here I also kept a spiral notebook where I wrote down my daily menu ideas, and wrote down everything I ate. When I overindulged I would free write in my journal how I felt before and after I ate. It really helped me understand the feelings behind my complusive eating.

I didn't get miracles overnight, but with time and persistence it worked. I have not conquered all my issues with food, I still love it and it rules my life, but now it is all about raw and that makes all the difference.

I like your choice of user name. That says it all. You are ready! :)

[Veganforlife]

FreshStart? First off - look at that name!


F R E S H S T A R T

DO IT! Do a 30-day challenge. Surely you can go Raw for 30 days?

[Care4raw]

I like your name freshstart.Perfect! It'll be ok. To make a big change sometimes you have to see how low you've gone.

Ok..how one changes..have you planned? How will you do this?What feels doable for now? Are you going full raw, high raw, one meal a day. raw with an allowed food list, (until you are ready to move on ). Start seeing your future... and you know this part, be 'gentle' with yourself. Great health includes lowering our stress, no matter what we eat.
Remember cooked foods are very powerful!You will kick the junk too.Gentle, gentle gentle..give yourself something to be happy about too.
You write well, start writing how you want to do this, if you like.

With love and support...

[kiropa]

such a delicate subject and struggle for so, so many people. you are so not alone. good for you for recognizing your patterns. that's is certainly the first step!

i am an all or nothing type of girl (age 40!) and have found great success re-setting my brain/choices/emotions via fasting.

it sounds impossible at first -- but it's really not. there is something very powerful about taking a complete break from food prep, decisions, and thought for 10 days or so. magical for me. much easier to start fresh after 10 days of fasting.

also -- do not beat yourself up. it doesn't help and you should be kind to yourself. love your body & it will love you back ;)

truth be told, we ALL do it. recently, i participated in a two-day 40 mile walk for charity. my body carried me almost-effortlessly through this endeavor. during the walk, i vowed to be kinder to & about my body -- after all it does so much for me.

try to think of food as fuel. seek pleasure elsewhere -- a good book, a funny movie, a relaxing massage.

it's a journey - take the 1st step. if you fall, get back up. you can do it!

[SevenKindsOfCookie]

And the thing is it didnt even taste good when I was threw. I now sit here in class feeling depressed and upset with my self.


In my opinion, that's your main problem right there.
Never ever feel guilty about it. So, you went to McDonalds? Big deal! Just put it behind you and move on.
You need to focus on the good stuff. And the more attention you give the good thing the more they will grow and become a part of your life.

And no, it's never too late for a healthy life. You are only 37 years young for that matter.

Stop beating yourself up so much. If you keep thinking of yourself as a failure then that's what you'll become.
Focus on the good stuff!

[Care4raw]

Over eaters Annoymous?
Its great. You can just sit and hear how others too have struggled with their food addictions, very powerful.Meetings are posted online and they have them in most towns and cities and they have them often, you are not alone .

[EZ rider]

I agree, cooked food is an addictive trap but you can get out just like the peeps on this forum have ! Try to eat some food everyday that hasn't had the life cooked out of it and your body will start wanting to have natural healthy nutrients in the food.

[gabriele]

Freshstart,

no, it is not too late for you. I am 55 years old and was just like you. I probably spent at least a year just reading about raw/vegan/vegetarian "diets" before i could even start. Some people can do it overnight, others can't.

It took me that long to completely internalize everything and still i couldn't let go of my food addictions, and that is exactly what they are. I used to look forward all night long just to going to the store the next day on my way to work and buying up a week's worth of chocolate and eating it all in ONE DAY. So you are not alone in your thinking.

NOw there is only healthy food in my house and i don't have that addicted feeling. Sure, all that old food probably still would taste good (for a while, until it makes me sick) but honestly i don't even think about it. My theory is that i'm finally getting some real nourishment that my body was craving literally for decades and so the feelings of always craving something are simply gone.

Exercise helps too.

[symphony]

Have you considered that maybe you should eat cooked food? It's worked for every sucessful culture across the planet and probably would work for you. That's not too say raw food isn't great, it is but doesn't have to be at the excusion of cooked. Also there's a big difference between mcdonalds and organic whole cooked foods. I know alot of people in the raw movement have two sides Raw and Cooked and anything that is cooked is posion but there's a wide range from good to bad.

I've talked to so many raw foodist that have this problem and i think it's becasue the typical raw food diet like any low carb diet leads to binging. Unless your getting massive amounts of fruit or under eatting total calories(which also leads to binging) your getting the majoirty of calories from fat which doesn't satisfly appite like equal calorie amount of good carbs

A good portion of what people consider raw on the raw food diet isn't even raw to begin with, like all these processed powders, most nuts, seeds, packaged foods, oils ect. You might as well get out of the raw food dogma that is all has to be raw and focus on wether it's a real whole food or not. Whole foods cooked or raw are the only health foods. I'll take organic homemade black beans any day over a so called raw olive oil that is pure fat with little to no actual nutrition

[rawrawks]

Yes change your fixed ideas about food... have as much raw as u can in a day and one cooked meal that is "better than" s.a.d. food. For instance some gluten free pasta with organic marinara sauce.

What cured cravings for me were green smoothies. Yes you are starving nutritionally. Green smoothies fill in the defiencies and cravings go away.

You can make excuses or you can say "no excuses".

For me getting clear on what am committed to and what I wanted for my life and health made all the difference in the world.

[Revvell]

Food is killing me!

It is, at one level but the real culprit is your emotions. Get to the root of the problem then you'll not be doing what you're doing.

[symphony]

Also i'd like to say don't beat yourself up on falling off. that is a sure way to develop a eatting disorder. There's a saying i really like, you don't drown by falling in the water you drown by staying in there

[michigan roman]

you say food rules your life / you think about food 24 hours a day , and that food is killing you

well its the same way for tens of millions of americans ,
and maybe focusing on the reason for this helps :

TV , as controlled by the washed up punks the u.s. ruling class are .
it used by them to flash like an image per second into peoples minds of food
in attempt to get them to go eat at mcdonalds or do or be whatever .
its a total brainwashing device as it is currently being used

and until the punks are depowered ide suggest not watching it

[green jeanie]

yes you are addicted to powerful drugs (food additives)

no different than any other toxic addiction. you may as well be on oxycoton.

you need resources around this to support you. Acupuncture, meditation, body work and HEALTHY NUTRITION AND EXERCISE AND COMMITMENT

you have identified it, you are here :D, be brave but also be gentle with yourself and seek any wholesome support that you can.

much luck and love


on a side note: my experience with this type of behavior is that it can be deeply rooted self-destructiveness and self-hate. YOU DESERVE NOURISHMENT and need it for life. If you can even for a second, even while bingeing be grateful for the nourishment you are receiving to promote your life.....something may change drastically. Make friends with food. Whatever you are eating. Right now you are using it as a weapon against yourself not an ally.

[symphonyx]

you say food rules your life / you think about food 24 hours a day , and that food is killing you

well its the same way for tens of millions of americans ,
and maybe focusing on the reason for this helps :

TV , as controlled by the washed up punks the u.s. ruling class are .
it used by them to flash like an image per second into peoples minds of food
in attempt to get them to go eat at mcdonalds or do or be whatever .
its a total brainwashing device as it is currently being used

and until the punks are depowered ide suggest not watching it

yep i agree

[*RayRay*]

I really feel for you! I see you've got some good encouragement and advice here, but if you feel like you need some more support, My mom helps people in your situation (she is a weight loss/nutrition/living food coach as well as hypnotherapist, theta healer, energy healer, and much more)...she is amazing and people really have breakthroughs when working with her. (she does phone sessions if you're not in the seattle area) send me a message or email if you're interested, I really think she can help you!! (and her prices are extremely reasonable! she even does sliding fee for those who need it) Please don't hesitate to contact her, she loves to help!!!!

[betty boop]

I'm 51 and I completely turned my life around in a couple months with raw - it's never too late!