struggling...

[Tanja_swe]

... I'm struggling at the moment with staying raw. Yesterday was a pretty bad day... I had pasta for lunch and ovenroasted potatoes for dinner. Not really really bad choices but still... I don't want to throw everything away that I've achieved until now!

I've always had problems with rules and I tend to create very hard rules for myself. Stupid huh? And in the past when I've not been able to follow the rules I've stoped (the diet or whatever) it all together. And I'm afraid that the little rebel inside me will pop up soon... and THAT is something I don't want. I really enjoy the raw diet... but at the moment it's so hard!

So far I've been raw today. I think lunch won't be a problem...

It doesn't help that we haven't had any hot water or heat since saturday morning. It's FREEZING here!

Sorry for the rambling and vent... I'm sure you'll understand...

[qetta]

Go easy on yourself, sweetie! I've read your journal and you're doing terrific! Didn't you just write the other day that you were able to fit into jeans you've never been able to fit into before? That's awesome - you should focus more on the positive things you've been doing and not let a little "slip up" here or there get you down.

As far as your heat - yikes! I hope you get heat & hot water back soon. I can't imagine ...

[Jay]

I'm with qetta, don't be too hard on yourself! I think all of us had or are still having trouble sticking to raw, it's not easy, everyone will admit that, I'm sure.
Just make the things you like a lot, those burgers look amazing, what about your cakes and tortes? I know it must me freezing out there without heat and warm water, but try to get warm (snuggling with your DH, walk around, jump up and down, anything to keep yourself warm!)

I'll be thinking about you!!

hugs,
Joke

[Kristi]

I've always had problems with rules and I tend to create very hard rules for myself. Stupid huh? And in the past when I've not been able to follow the rules I've stoped (the diet or whatever) it all together. And I'm afraid that the little rebel inside me will pop up soon... and THAT is something I don't want. I really enjoy the raw diet... but at the moment it's so hard!

I am just like this. I will beat myself up over the perfection of it all and forget how beneficial the majority of it is. The things we do to ourselves. I struggle with the stress I put myself under over being perfect with raw and wonder if letting go of the stress and perfection and not being raw is better.

Where is Scotland? I have a dear friend in Castle Douglas. She doesn't write very often :( but she did come to visit in London when I was there about 4 years ago.

[Alissa]

Tanja_swe,
We all go through this, the important thing to remember it that you dont have to be perfect.
Living your life in truth is not about one screw up, its about what you do most of the time. And from the looks of it and from what you have said, you have been raw and feeling great! So you are really doing it! Your living the raw life! So what, you messed up, the real challenge now is… how long will you let your mistake take you down? Will you spiral with it or will you just chock it up to experience and get right back on and continue raw as if nothing ever happened? From the looks of your pictures (which blew me away!) it looks like you’re on an amazing journey!
Writing goals, scripting, meditating, etc... is always a god way to remind yourself why you are doing this and what that future self looks like when you are all raw.
If you give too much energy to the fact that you ate cooked foods, it will override everything you have done. So just scratch it up to the learning process and know that we are all here for you and watching and encouraging your progress. We know you can do it, now it’s just up to you to decide which way to let the energy take you?
xo A

[Tanja_swe]

Thank you guys! You are all right... I should focus on the good things and not give myself a hard time over a few slipups. But it's so easy when "sadistic perfectionist" is your middlename ;)

I've been raw so far today, and I'm planning on staying raw the rest of the day too!

Thank you to all of you for putting things into perspective for me!

ps. Kristi, I live in a small place called Dundee, north of Edinburgh in Scotland.

[Kristi]

But it's so easy when "sadistic perfectionist" is your middlename ;)

Wow! We have the same middle name!!!!!!!

[marigold]

tanja..wow another person in the uk..that is 3 of us now on here ???

[marigold]

yeah i understand the perfectionist too..oh how many days have been ruined cos i didnt do something instead of doing what alissa said and continuing...
i was all raw for a year..almost raw for longer and as i have said before i hated it..i started to reintroduce cooked conciously..waited ot see if i had a reaction before procceeding..i feel liberated - and i am still eating i would say 90% or more raw..i remind myself that is brilliant . this is just my way..and i guess i am telling you cos we all have to find our own way with raw and it may not be all raw.

i am feeling ick at moment so been eating all raw again!! been reading all the raw recipe s on here today!! thankyou all for them..really inspire me.thinking of the tuna - must get sprouting !!
love marigold

[Jennalle1771]

Tanja_swe, I know how you feel about the strict rules. I was the same way. I would set such strict rules and mentally list everything I couldn't eat or when I had to excercise or how much I could eat. Then the littleist thing like I slept late so I couldn't work out would throw me into a spin and I would deviate from my plan. So let me give you some advice and let you know whats been helping me. First I got rid of everything tempting in my house (I know you may not be able to do that but try if you can). This enabled me to not have to make any strict "food rules". Everything I have I can eat whenever, however, and as much of it as I want. The second was I had to give up the idea that this strict "I have to stay raw" mentality. I just tell myself that I WANT to stay raw (as opposed to have to) that I'm a human being and things happen and times occur and I may deviate from my plan. With this way of thinking I'm able to rationally enter a tough situation and be okay with whatever decision I make. But I must add that by giving myself freedom and knowing what I want I haven't given in to temptation. I hope that this advice will help you. And I wish you the best of luck.

[flutterfly]

Just wanted everyone to know that I am also struggling . I can be so good for a while and as soon as something happens I mess up. I see that on another site people are struggling also. This isn't healthy to always be fighting within yourself about what you need to eat. My head is messed up enough ;(

[Sweet lips]

Hello Everyone,

Boy do I understand this thread

Breathe - release the information from the old tapes , relax and be proud of what you have accomplished in your life. Start by counting your blessings - name them - try this. number 1 - I am alive; number 2 - I am love;, number 3 I am loved;, number 4, my husband loves me;, number 5, I love my husband;, number 6, my daughters are beautiful and healthy;, number 7..... - get the idea? Keep going until you run out of numbers, always remember to count your blessings one by one - you'll get tired before you are finished.

You have been really busy and taking care of your obligations in life - so please do not feel bad about your eating, or even yourself. I do not know you, and yet you have opened your heart to me - a total stranger and provided so much love, guidance and wisdom. You have new tapes to listen to in your head, we will work together on erasing those old tapes. Now, take a deep breathe of life and hug yourself as you Celebrate your wonderful life.

I am well - I have just spent 4 days with my parents, and 3 sisters. They were amazed with my change - however, because my liver is not totally clean yet, I have some discoloration on my cheeks and of course someone had to point that out. I was able to stay raw until yesterday and I ate about a cup of pasta salad when I went to one of my parents friends home for a cook-out. No one forced me, and it wasn't heavy at all, but I was hungry and there was nothing much else to eat there. I did avoid the sweets and did well. There were a lot of questions - my dad tasted everything I put in front of him, my mom and my sisters asked lots of questions and may adapt some of the things I am doing - I have one sister that is a vegetarian - and a very light eater, another who doesn't eat red meat or pork, and another who is attempting to lose weight. My mom is also on a diet, I am on a live-it and know it is not a quick fix, so I really try not to talk with her much about weight loss, it is not always an easy conversation.

I learned this weekend that I don't need to always explain myself or seek approval - heck, everybody is struggling with something, and depending on where they are on their journey, they can choose to be critical or choose to live and let live.

Today, I did not get the opportunity to do as I planned but felt it was successful anyway. I went to my Aunt's home where my family stays when they come in to town, to see them off. Drove to Trader Joe's to buy some raw stuff, other errands and got home a little while ago, cleaned by earlier kitchen mess, and sat down to e-mail.

I haven't eaten too bad - some raw ravioli's, some popcorn [where and why, I do not know]. Lots of water . I am on my way to Walmart to buy another food processor - I gave my sister mine, while she was here, so off I go.

Breathe in Life - you are already successful!
:cool: :) ;)

[FEELIN'GOOD]

Hey Tanja!

Like it has been said, you are doing it! Being raw is the most amazing way to be- I have gone a stray a few times this week because my mom and my brother were in town and we got some munchi stuff from Costco- I miss there spinach dip, and I ate a ton of it with my brother while we chatted this weekend... today, I feel so bloated and disgusted with myself because I feel awful! I didn't feel guilty about going off the diet as much as that feeling made me sorry I did! So now, Costco spinach dip is no longer appealing to me because I don't want to feel like this ever again! In my opinion, once you really do this awhile and you know your body, it will send you messages about what it likes, and you know what it's like to feel good, so eventually you will be more and more raw without as many of the struggles.... Good Luck!

[Jay]

Same here Feelin'Good!

I used to love love love bread with young cumincheese or normal young cheese, oh boy! But a week ago I really had a craving so I had a couple of slices of bread with the cheese.... it didn't taste like it used to be... I was so disapointed!! And then I thought, well that's not bad, in fact, that's good news: because that means I don't need the cheese anymore! As I didn't like it anymore, I don't have to crave it anymore!
Older cheese is still a problem though... :o

Take care, remember: take it step by step, you can do this!!

Hugs, Joke

[Tanja_swe]

I managed to stay raw yesterday and I'm really pleased with that. I will try my hardest not to make unrealistic rules for myself.

One problem I have is when I read messages from people who have been raw for a longer time and they "preach" that you should only eat mono-meals, very little nuts etc etc etc you know the talk. I then start to feel that if I don't do it this way I don't do it properly.. and if I don't do it properly, why bother? I KNOW that it doesn't work that way. Everyone has to find their way... and what makes them happy. But when you have some 30 ugly trolls in your head whispering (or shouting) a lot of nonsense to you it's easy to fall...

I'm very fortunate in that my husband is working towards a vegetarian diet and eat a very high raw diet with me. He is very supportive. So we don't have many "forbidden" food in the house, we've given most of it away.

Thank you for all your support!

[qetta]

Glad to hear you had a good day yesterday, Tanja_swe!

"Everyone has to find their way... and what makes them happy." Totally right!

[marigold]

did you ever read suzie orbach - ? she talks of legalising all food.i did this before i went raw..i had a list of good food bad food.i wouldnt allow the bad in the house and only eat it sometimes.....then of course i would eat as much as i could cos i wasnt going to be allowed it again ..suzie says legalise all food so we bought all the food in the house.wow it was scarey and i had the voices but suger is bad chocolate is bad going on in my head.but i went with it noticed.she says only eat when hungry and only say eat choc when you want it and stop when you are full..so there i was with 20 bars in the drawer..and you know what ..i didnt want them often..and then i was so dissapointed to realise i only wanted to eat half!! and becasue i coudl have those bars at any time - i never wanted them..they sat there for ages..birthday came and cos i could eat that food any time i hardly ate any and felt alot better for it..so yeah..raw can become another set of rules ..another box to jump into and i see mostly wimmin struggling with it all the time like another diet in which to beat ourselves up with...not good.

one way round it for me is to know i am depriving myslef when i eat junk not the other way round.i am depriving myslef of life force..

i dont know how we get round the rules - moving through our emotional stuff i guess ? for the healthier in our heads and emotions we are the easier the physical eating is..

[Sweet lips]

Tanja_swe,

Please please do not let others determine what and how you do it. What works for someone, may not work for you at all. You are unique. Work this as best you can for you and for you only. As your body, mind and spirt determine how you are to make this journey, you will. Don't beat on yourself and please don't compare your self - Celebrate you! :D