kidkid
07-13-2009, 01:31 AM
If you can believe it, after all this time reading about raw veganism and hearing about detox (and even making a post about the beginning of my detoxing experiences), I forgot detox was gonna happen to me. I was 100% for the first time for like 5 or 6 days, and I started getting SO TIRED. After the tiredness came extreme emotional vulnerability. Thank god my sweet brother was there to hold my hand through that. I was revisiting bad childhood memories, old emotional pains. It literally felt like things I hadn't thought of in years were just oozing up to the surface. I was feeling like shit, crying all day, sleeping a lot, being snappy and crabby. And then i got a cough and I started feeling kind of achy -- well not achy, just uncomfortable in my body, restless and ill. Eating didn't seem to be making me feel nourished. I blamed it on how much fruit I'd been eating, too much sugar and all that. I went back to a SAD diet, completely convinced in that moment that eating only raw food was totally bogus.
The bodily sensations combined with the emotional stuff made me feel so weird and scared that i completely forgot all about the idea of detox! I even forgot that I had made a post about my tiredness and been reassured that it was normal. Just....forgot! I went back to a SAD diet because it felt so wrong to be eating in a way that made me feel bad. It was counterintuitive. After eating SAD for a few days, I wasn't crying all the time (I felt emotionally normal I guess) and I wasn't sleeping as much. I did have strong food cravings and felt sluggish, but not restless and uncomfortable anymore. I still have a bit of a cough.
So...sigh....am I to believe that this ordeal was detox? And that it wasn't the fruit that was making me feel bad but toxins in my body that (like the old bad memories) were coming up and being purged? And eating SAD food made me feel 'normal' only because it was clogging up that purging process? That's the idea, but wow, I wasn't expecting it to FEEEEL that horrible and scary. And I never thought detox would be so strong on an emotional level. Has anyone else experienced something similar? It was actually completely overwhelming. I think a part of me never really believed in detox, even though i had read about it. In fact, part of me still feels really nervous about entering that state. I have to remember that the healing process is like a journey, in that it has its painful, difficult parts along with its bright and happy parts. detoxing actually takes courage! (So oh my god, thank you, all you out there who have lead the way simply by going through your own healing processes.)
I'm sticking it out this next time around!:)
The bodily sensations combined with the emotional stuff made me feel so weird and scared that i completely forgot all about the idea of detox! I even forgot that I had made a post about my tiredness and been reassured that it was normal. Just....forgot! I went back to a SAD diet because it felt so wrong to be eating in a way that made me feel bad. It was counterintuitive. After eating SAD for a few days, I wasn't crying all the time (I felt emotionally normal I guess) and I wasn't sleeping as much. I did have strong food cravings and felt sluggish, but not restless and uncomfortable anymore. I still have a bit of a cough.
So...sigh....am I to believe that this ordeal was detox? And that it wasn't the fruit that was making me feel bad but toxins in my body that (like the old bad memories) were coming up and being purged? And eating SAD food made me feel 'normal' only because it was clogging up that purging process? That's the idea, but wow, I wasn't expecting it to FEEEEL that horrible and scary. And I never thought detox would be so strong on an emotional level. Has anyone else experienced something similar? It was actually completely overwhelming. I think a part of me never really believed in detox, even though i had read about it. In fact, part of me still feels really nervous about entering that state. I have to remember that the healing process is like a journey, in that it has its painful, difficult parts along with its bright and happy parts. detoxing actually takes courage! (So oh my god, thank you, all you out there who have lead the way simply by going through your own healing processes.)
I'm sticking it out this next time around!:)