Fell off Wagon Big Time.....Made great discovery!!!

[gabriele]

Well, i was very bad today. I have a very bad chocolate addiction, and finally broke down and got some Lindt chocolate. I avoided 2 similar temptations lately, but today, for some reason, i couldn't hold out any more. And i feel like crap because of it.

BUT........i made a great discovery!! As i was eating my chocolate at work, it didn't taste good any more!! Really!! It is my favorite brand, but today, it was gooey, creamy, and sickeningly sweet, way too sweet, too heavy, i threw most of it away. I couldn't even eat it. And even weirder, i was craving salad.

In a happy twist, i don't see how i'm going to have this craving again. A craving that has caused me to be overweight my whole life. This is the very first time that chocolate didn't taste good to me, didn't make me feel good eating it. What a gift!! Never happened before, ever. I'll be even more happy once this nausea goes away. :(

I feel like i really conquered something today.

[Soose]

So happy for you, Gabriele! That is a real sign of your body detoxing, don't you think?

p.s. I wonder if drinking some charcoal would help with the nausea? It would certainly absorb some of the toxins.

[gabriele]

Do you think it's a detox thing?

i didn't think of that. I can't explain it at all, it's very weird to not enjoy something i've enjoyed for 50 years. To suddenly find no pleasure in it at all. My punishment is that i'm waiting for tomorrow to eat my salad, i can't wait (and this from a person who has always hated vegetables).

[Soose]

I meant the nausea is a detox thing -- the body is rejecting what you fed it and needs to get that toxin out. Doesn't that make sense? Just the way I see it, I guess. (So I thought taking the charcoal would help absorb any of it left in the digestive tract. Drink lots of water?) Another way of seeing it is, when I say, "My body just doesn't handle that type food anymore!"

Celebrate the milestone! Eat that salad and ENJOY IT! :) Or make a light smoothie with some good greens. Listen to your own body, of course.

Years and years ago, when I cleaned up my eating the first level (but I'd not even heard of raw yet), I was amazed when my body started changing. It started saying, "I'm full." Then, some time later, it said, "That's too rich! Yuck!"

I'd always heard friends saying the foods I cooked were rich but I had no clue what they were talking about. They meant they could taste the fats, which coated the tongue and weighed them down; that they didn't like it! I'd been raised with "the fatter and sweeter, the better."

But the body is amazing. If we stop feeding it bad stuff, it'll start craving good stuff. The day came when I was craving vegetables. What an eye opener. Of course I've fallen off the wagon through the years, but here I am, about 20 years later, Vegan and trying hard for full raw. Never would I have imagined!

[LilacLavender]

Isn't that great when cooked food stops tasting good? That is the best feeling.

[gabriele]

Hi Soose,

yes, it makes perfect sense what you are saying about the nausea and the detox. I felt so bad yesterday. Just miserable.

This morning, a nice watemelon smoothie with 2 dates, it feels very cleansing. Here at work i'm just surrounded by junk food and chocolate, there's more chocolate just outside my door, yuck. I just have to remember that yesterday, for the first time in my life, it just didn't taste very good. That should get me through the day!!

[Soose]

Hi, Gaby,
With the stuff around you at work, when you see and smell it, maybe if you could make a conscious effort to immediately replace the sweet smell in your mind with the feeling you had yesterday, the nausea. And I've heard several people here recommend we take lots of replacement raw snacks with us when we're starting.

I have to take my 13yo to his job this morning and there are snacks. We put in a fruit cooler there, but I think I will take my own advice and pack something else for safety.
Soose

[gabriele]

You are right. I have larabars here, raw nuts, dried fruit, you would think a very thin, healthy-looking person sits at my desk!! And i am doing what you said, i'm recalling the yucky feeling i had yesterday, how sick i felt, and how it wasn't even enjoyable.

eating a big big salad right now.....

[Soose]

I think that some of these addictive food smells are wired directly into our brains! And that bypasses the memory of how sick it made us last time we "experimented" with it. But with time abstaining from it, that neural pathway will go dormant.

I asked my son and we agreed we'd best make a big salad before we go work around those snacks. Just finished enjoying it. :) Thanks for making me aware of the danger before we went today.

[gabriele]

good for you!!! and i am still avoiding those Lindt chocolate balls that are 6 feet away on the paper shredder..........

[EZ rider]

BUT........i made a great discovery!! As i was eating my chocolate at work, it didn't taste good any more!!
Yep, you just left that addiction behind you. Its not going to bother you again. Congratulations.

I have had some similar experiences as my tastes and desires have changed on the raw lifestyle. Even now at almost 2 years all raw I am still getting pleasant surprises like the one you had. My most recent surprise concerned eating greens. The other day I was about to make a salad and I happened to eat one of the green baby spinach leafs and it tasted really good. I continued eating it just as is and didn't make the salad I just kept eating the baby spinach. I am snacking on greens by themselves right now. This from a former meat & potatoes guy that didn't like salads. For me to enjoy eating fresh greens by themselves is more then amazing -- its a miracle.

[gabriele]

Wow, really EZ Rider? i can't imagine eating greens without drowning them with something. Even a mixed salad? It's not bitter? That would be great. well, at least i am using a lot less dressing, maybe i'll get there one day too.

[Soose]

That's the way we eat greens and salads now, too. No dressings, no sauces. Amazing. We do make a fresh salsa for our salads more often than not but don't demand it. Never in the world thought I'd be here. Not that we're perfect. Olives are a hard one to give up now, for instance. I really, really want some olives!

We made it through the job - we stopped at the store and while there bought some dried fruits. Also had fresh fruits and our salads before we left.

[gabriele]

what is the recipe for the salsa that you use? it sounds delicious on a salad....

[katacykls]

Hi Gabriele not only is it detox it is also your body behaving more wisely and saying I know what good food taste like and Lindt Chocolate is just not cutting it for me anymore.

[gabriele]

Sorry if i keep repeating myself but it's fascinating to me that this happened. I have never been able to avoid this temptation for more than a few weeks and now the knowledge that it didn't even taste "right" means i should never be tempted to do it again. For 30 years, at least, i started every day off with a slimfast-type of shake in the morning, now i vitamix some fruits with ice and i feel so much better for it.

[jane b]

Gabrielle, don't apologize for your sense of wonderment. I'm right there with you, girl.

Every time I try a new raw food, I am amazed at how good it tastes and how much better I feel. I get up every morning with so much more energy, and actually looking forward to the day.

As for the chocolate, I usually can get my fix by whipping up a green smoothie with carob. I also keep a bag of chocolate covered cocoa nibs on my nightstand. If I'm going to crave chocolate, it's usually a few hours after dinner. Since the flavor is so intense, I find that less than 10 of the little pebbles are more than enough to satisfy my tastebuds.

[beppa66]

[QUOTE=gabriele;539175]Well, i was very bad today. I have a very bad chocolate addiction, and finally broke down and got some Lindt chocolate. I avoided 2 similar temptations lately, but today, for some reason, i couldn't hold out any more. And i feel like crap because of it.

:)
Have you ever tried UliMana Raw Chocolate truffles? I think Alissa sells them in her store. The peppermint one's are my favorite! Also Oasis makes a whole line of AMAZING raw chocolates here's a link - http://www.oasis-pa.com

MMMMMM.

[Soose]

what is the recipe for the salsa that you use? it sounds delicious on a salad....

Tomatoes, some scallions, lime juice, fresh cilantro if we have it. Sometimes fresh chile peppers. No recipe... just to taste. :) Could add all sorts of things. Fresh parsley. Yesterday I was thinking, "we could add fresh summer squash" diced up fine -- as a way to get my son eating that -- could at least try some other veggies in there. :)

My son likes it really processed more, while I like him to stop it when it's still chunky. :)

We usually take most of the salsa out into a serving dish but leave some in the food processor. Then add avocado and make guacamole -- all the "trimmings" for guacamole are in the salsa. Saves work. :) Just had some of both on our luncheon salad and it was delicious!

[Aleesha Sattva]

Isn't that great when cooked food stops tasting good? That is the best feeling.

I soooo agree with you!!!

[tanishamarshall]

It is funny how over-time our tastebuds change when we stop consuming certain foods. This can be helpful when transitioning away from cooked foods, that is if we stay away from it long enough.

[cara4art]

Right now I wish chocolate didn't taste good - it's the only thing that's holding me back from my remaining fat loss. At my age(62)I do have to restrict how much food I eat, even though it's raw. Even though I'm on raw, chocolate hasn't lost it's grip yet, and it's been a year and a half. I even tried doing some EFT on myself, but didn't get far with it.

[gabriele]

Thanks everyone for all your helpful answers. There just isn't an easy solution. YOu see, if i buy Alissa's truffles, for example, i would have to eat the whole thing. A normal person could eat one or two and be satisfied, but not me, that's why it's an addiction. That part of my brain that says "no" to chocolate just isn't there.

I used to watch my co-workers (in the ER) approach some kind of homemade goodies - like brownies, and they would take one brownie, or maybe HALF of a brownie, and never come back for more!! They weren't interested. And i always found that fascinating, that you could eat one brownie. I would sit at my desk and think of nothing else, except for the brownies, and then of course fill myself up. I guess i have an eating disorder!!

sipping a watermelon/strawberry/coconut smoothie right now though!!!

[Mary Kay]

I swear, your post brought me to tears. You go girl.

I think, being overweight, you may have some leptin imbalance, which controls your satiety. I'll bet that once you become more balanced, you may be one of those people who will quit obsessing about food so much and will only take one.....right now, after years of abuse, your body is out of whack. It's not even your mind, but chemicals that don't work properly. But I'll bet those chemicals will come into balance with clean living.

I wonder if like an alcoholic, you'll ever be able to eat "just a little chocolate" and forget about it. It will be nice to follow your progress!

Thanks for sharing. I'm sure this is inspiring to others.

I'll bet you'd have never believed it a few years ago, eh?

Mary Kay

[cara4art]

Hi gabriele! I feel for you - that must be hard! Hearing about your chocolate addiction made me feel a little better about my own predilection for chocolate. I just eat a little each day, and here I was thinking it was this really huge addiction - LOL! Actually since I wrote that other post, I've cut back a little on the chocolate and already feel even better. Still likely to keep some in for the time being though. I did buy some raw cacao powder to try in a simple home-made dessert, so that might be better.
Anyhow, best of luck - just keep on hanging in there with raw. All the slip-ups we make teach us something after awhile - many of us have come to view them as learning experiences. Some us need to have it drummed into our heads a bunch of times with some lessons too - LOL! Especially for those of who are older, it might take more time to get past certain things and notice the benefits.

[Thick]

i would have to eat the whole thing. A normal person could eat one or two and be satisfied, but not me

You should really try some raw chocolate recipes. They are not only delicios but filling too. I really understand and relate to what you've said. Just trust me-try these easy ones--

1. chocolate dip (for strawberries/cherries)
mix equal parts honey and cocoa/cacao until milk chocolatey--keep stirring --the honey absorbs the powder

2. use the same dip and mx in chopped almonds or pecans or ____ it is very much like a candy bar

you can add vanilla and salt to make it extra tasty. Coconut oil/cocoa butter are also good, but expensive and not 100% neccesary--though healthy and satisfying.

Is it chocolate you want or do you (been there) enjoy binging perhaps? Sometimes out of control in food or drugs feels like self nurturing if you dont want to _____ or cant deal with _______. The more you struggle the more nurturing it can feel to give in to the forbidden thing. The good news is you can get away from the food struggle and go 100% raw and have as much raw chocolate as you want -and you'll be surprised that it wont be much..

I hope you find the satiety and peace you are seeking=)

[gabriele]

So much helpful information and wonderfully supportive comments.....thank you all so much for this.

I should really be in a textbook about Pavlovian reactions to foods or something. Did i ever tell you how this all started??? (i'm blaming my parents for this one).

I was a baby in Germany (where i was born) and apparently, every single time i woke up at night crying, my German grandmother who lived with us) came running into my room with chocolate (nice, German, creamy chocolate) in her hands which she then stuffed into my mouth to soothe me. Apparently it worked every time. From the age of one to two i was directly conditioned to eat chocolate when i was upset!! I can't think of a better, stronger way to condition someone!! 55 years later chocolate has this identical affect on me. My parents and grandmother were all "normal" weight, and they didn't know what they were setting up here.

As far as bingeing, oh yes, i can binge away on chocolate all day long, for months which stretch out to years. I think i'm past that now, but the desire to do it is still there. I eat it when i'm bored, when i'm anxious, when i'm happy, every emotion. When i stop eating it, i feel totally different mentally and emotionally, more aware and down to earth. My chocolate is like a narcotic for me, i "float" when i'm eating it. I'm more outgoing, happier, not thinking about bills, problems whatever. :(( Wow, i sound like a nut case!!!!

As for making raw chocolate recipes, i'm sure i'll dabble in that one day when i've really established my new lifestyle......right now it would just remind me too much of the "real" thing. My solution is to totally avoid it (for now). And that's fine. YOu're right, Mary Kay, about that feeling of satiety being absent, even when my stomach feels full my brain says EAT MORE!!!! So, it's complicated. I have to retrain myself, and i'm armed with lots of books and this website and all of you to help me!!

[EZ rider]

I eat it when i'm bored, when i'm anxious, when i'm happy, every emotion.
I think we all eat foods in reaction to emotions to some extent. The trick IMO is to learn to take your cues from your appistat rather then from your emotions.

[Thick]

As for making raw chocolate recipes, i'm sure i'll dabble in that one day when i've really established my new lifestyle......right now it would just remind me too much of the "real" thing. My solution is to totally avoid it (for now).

You have to find your own path, but I'm not sure why you wouldn't try it...I'm not asking you to make chocolate out of ashes and worms-- its cocoa butter and cocoa...its definately the real thing.

http://www.rawfreedomcommunity.info/forum/showthread.php?t=3453&highlight=chocolate

[gabriele]

You have to find your own path, but I'm not sure why you wouldn't try it...I'm not asking you to make chocolate out of ashes and worms-- its cocoa butter and cocoa...its definately the real thing.

http://www.rawfreedomcommunity.info/forum/showthread.php?t=3453&highlight=chocolate

I know, and i appreciate the advice, but for me it's like giving a heroin addict just a little heroin. I have to avoid it altogether, then maybe later i can whip up what you are recommending, it sounds delicious.

[LilacLavender]

A wise choice. Food addictions are one of those subjects that have a slightly different set of protocols for dealing with, and those who have experienced them personally and overcome them will give you the best advice.