View Full Version : How to make an important decision?
06-03-2009, 10:32 AM
My boyfriend wants to quit his job and move to my city to be with me. Right now he has to drive 5 hours to see me. So we only get to see each other every other weekend. I can't drive to him cause my car is a clunker. He wants to start eating raw and living a healthy life as I do. I'm very excited at the prospect of all this and he is too, but he's very worried if he's doing the right thing about giving up his good job and renting out his home, and just up and leaving especially with this economy. He is a pretty good artist, and will try to sell his paintings, and also try to find some work. How do you make a big decision like this ???
06-03-2009, 12:05 PM
What about YOUR job? Is it as good/secure as his? Could YOU move?
06-03-2009, 12:13 PM
Wow. don't know.
06-03-2009, 12:19 PM
We both have good jobs and are scared to quit because we don't know if we can find another one with this economy. I live right next to where I work and don't have to drive. He likes the vibe of my town cause there's lots to do here and is more of an artist's town. He lives in a very small town with nothing there really. So...we're really torn on what's best to do.
06-03-2009, 12:23 PM
If i had a girlfriend in another city who wanted to move in with me and start a raw life and all, i'd be thrilled, but then i'd be a bit freaked out bc it's a big big thing.
Baby steps, baby steps!
Where to live? Where to work? Income? Going raw? These are all big things that need theire own separate attention to work. I would probably try taking one thing at a time, cos i see big storms at the horizon every time too many changes come at once.
Could he start his raw lifestyle first, so you don't end up responsible for his transitioning and helping him out all the time? Could he find a job before he moved, so he dont end up unemployed in a new city?
Just make sure this is seriously something you wanna do, and then take it slow. Ofcourse, you could just jump right in, but then you might end up with a lot of financial and emotional drama.
06-03-2009, 12:31 PM
It's best to go with whatever will allow you to live a passionate life. It's almost always best to take the route that your heart is leading you to. Then create different plans and backup plans so you'll be prepared for anything. Sit down and come up with all kinds of ways you can make money through jobs, your own business, side ventures, etc.
I'm a Godly person, so before I make a big decision, I pray and I take time to make the final decision.
The other thing I do is...I write down all the reasons for and all the reasons against.
The next thing I do is speak to everyone I know.
In this case, I would have him look for a job in his field of interest.
As for your relationship, it really can only go so far with 5 hours in between you, so something will have to be done in order for it to progress...put that at the top of your list [for].
If he can't find a job right off in his field, then try finding one he can tolerate until he does.
06-03-2009, 01:05 PM
Thanks for all the replies. What's also making it difficult is that his bosses really want him to stay and have offered to give him a small raise, and cut his hours so he could work 3 days a week as long as he got his work done. (which he says he can) So, it's possible he could live there 3 days a week and work, then drive all the way to here and spend 4 days with me and then drive back again. At least he would still have a job, the only thing is he still has a long drive once a week and is living in 2 cities. We are defintely praying about all this.
06-03-2009, 03:26 PM
Lord - I say go for it!
Can you on your salary afford the extra expense of feeding another person? and the little misc expenses while he gets settled and starts up whatever it is he is going to do for cash? If not - then fix that first. Or you two can save up the short fall for say a 6-9 month period so he'll have time....
Meanwhile - he can look for a job in your area before moving.
But common - he's willing to quit, move, and go raw???
High five! Get moving on that!
06-03-2009, 06:02 PM
Take a leap of faith, you will either be taught how to fly or be given something solid to stand on....trust and it will be great.
06-05-2009, 06:22 PM
As my fiance and I live in separate towns, I understand that long distance can be HARD. But living together can sometimes be even harder, especially if you're used to having all that room to yourself most of the time. ;)
I would recommend that before you move in together, you look at several things:
1) Your finances - are you on the same page?
2) Your long-term relationship plan - do you share a vision for where you want to be with him/yourself/"we"?
3) From the financial perspective, are you guys debt-free? Because if you are, and you can tolerate a few more months of being apart - try stocking up a 3 months Emergency Fund that he can use to live off while he's job-hunting in your town! This will remove the stress that could present its ugly head in your lives if he moves WITHOUT a plan!
I wish you the very best as you choose your plan of action!
Light and love,
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