How can I become more socially accepted as a raw foodist?

[Charov]

I think it is so hard trying to "fit in" being a raw foodist. My friends shake their heads at me every time there is food involved around us, "Come on.. One burger won't kill you!! Stop embarressing yourself. You are a fanatic. A scoop of ice cream/a piece of chocolate cake is not the end of the world. Where did the old you go?? I miss the normal person you were before.." They always say stuff like that. They give me such a hard time, and I know it is from not knowing how unhealthy "ordinary" food is!

So let me ask you guys, am I being a total fanatic when I say no to a piece of cake or just a little fried chicken for example? If I am not, anyone have a tip to a good explanation/response I can give them? I really do not want to eat anything that is not raw, no more fake food!! But hard to explain to them..

I feel that I am the luckiest person to have discovered raw food! I feel this new flame burning inside of me, new knowledge!! I wish they could feel that too, wish they also would understand what raw food really is about, and that it is not boring at all!!

But no matter how happy I am inside of me about this, the people around me is not supporting this lifestyle at all.

Help wanted!!

[T-Bird]

Turn it around on them:

"Common, one salad won't kill you! One trip to a raw food restaurant instead of mcdonalds isn't a big deal."

Etc Etc.

I certainly have no animosity such as this.


But I get invited out a lot less.....bonding happens over food, people are going to places without any options for me....so I have excluded myself.

Some friends are not so close to even opt for a veggie lunch to spend time with me. Fine if I have veggie at a place they can get their chicken, etc.

So the friendships don't get closer....

It is rough, and I don't have a total answer for it....

[RawSweetie]

Turn it around on them:

"Common, one salad won't kill you! One trip to a raw food restaurant instead of mcdonalds isn't a big deal."

Etc Etc.

I certainly have no animosity such as this.


But I get invited out a lot less.....bonding happens over food, people are going to places without any options for me....so I have excluded myself.

Some friends are not so close to even opt for a veggie lunch to spend time with me. Fine if I have veggie at a place they can get their chicken, etc.

So the friendships don't get closer....

It is rough, and I don't have a total answer for it....

Ditto....I think it's maybe the "price" I'll "pay" for how I want to look and feel..

[mstrish]

Sometimes letting go of friends or so called friends is best. Try finding a raw food group that meets for for rawlucks. I have recently removed myself from non-supporting people just to be at peace with myself. I have told others that I'm allergic to those foods. You have to be happy. Keep searching for your answer within yourself and it will come to you as to what works for your life.

[jurence]

Without making someone else feel uncomfortable? You wont.
Welcome to the raw social scene.

Ooh i like that quote

[Springtime]

When i've heard things like that, i've always felt that the person saying this has been sort of in a "joking" mood. What i've done is that i've just calmly and seriously, without adding guilt or preaching or anything, said that this is what i've chosen, that i don't mind anyone else eating whatever they like, as long as i can be who i am.

[Charov]

People I hang out with is getting sick of me not eating anything when we go to mcDonalds or not enjoying a cake together with them or any other food. Because then we can't sit around and say "mmm, that taste good!" and stuff like we used to.. :p

But yeah, they get annoyed, but I won't quit just because they are unhappy but I have always been kind of a doormat, never had the nerve to really state my honest opinion if I disagree on something when I know that my friends will be offended by my disagreement.

But am I being fanatic when I won't even taste the food? Do you guys ever taste or eat non raw foods even tho you do not crave it but just to "please" other non-raw people?

[Springtime]

But am I being fanatic when I won't even taste the food? Do you guys ever taste or eat non raw foods even tho you do not crave it but just to "please" other non-raw people?

You are NOT being a fanatic! This is what not being a doormat feels like ;) , it's about sticking to your guns wheather others like it or not. Doing what makes you feel amazing is not fanatic at all!

I would not eat anyhting i didn't agree with to please others, ever! They're the ones who are being the fanatics, obsessing over you not having the exact same diet as them. I'm hoping they're your friends bc they like you, not bc they like the way you eat.

Sometimes, though, i say things like "mm, that smells great!" when i'm with people eating something i don't eat, to assure them i'm not ascetic or disapproving of them enjoying whatever they're enjoying, and bc i really think a lot of regular foods smell great :rolleyes:

[Charov]

Hahaha, I do that too!! I make that "begging for food at the table- dog face" and I say "wow, you are soooo lucky, you get to eat that food, it smells soooo gooood" and I kind of want to give the impression that they are still smarter than me, and that they have not lost that part just because I have changed diet.. I know it sound pathetic, but that's the truth. :p

And yes, I LOVE the smell of non-raw food and junkfood.. And I love watching people eat junkfood on tv and stuff, just so I can try to remember.. haha, I am pathetic!! Drooling !:p

Ok, thanks for the back up about not having to give in just so they can feel that they have'nt lost me or something! Hope they will stop complaining about me and trying to make me feel bad, because it is so obvious that they are trying their best to make me feel stupid and weird and alone. I hate that, but I do not dare say that I know what they are up to. Mostly from my best friend which I hang out with every day almost.

It just comes to show that my suspicion is true, there is no such thing as an unselfish friendship.

This raw food journey I have started on, really teaches me more about the friends I have, seeing their reactions to my little new success. They have never seen me succeed in anything. It's new to them too, I suppose. Scary too see me, the doormat, actually dedicating my time and effort into something other than being a loser! I am HAPPY for ME for the first time in my life!!!


Strange feeling!! :)

[T-Bird]

But am I being fanatic when I won't even taste the food? Do you guys ever taste or eat non raw foods even tho you do not crave it but just to "please" other non-raw people?

sure - and I shoot up heroine with the junkies, cuz they like company too!!


For me raw only works at 100%, I can hardly keep up at 50% if I mix and match.

Yesterday - I was very sorely tempted - making chocolate chip cookies for DD. I just wanted to taste that dough - just wanted to lick that melted chip off my finger - just nibble to see how the cookies came out.

I didn't, and today I go on. I would have ended up at chipotle or a thai food restaurant if I'd fallen off the wagon.

Maybe some day I can dabble without getting caught up again. But that day is not today. And I know it.

[rkk]

Hahaha, I do that too!! I make that "begging for food at the table- dog face" and I say "wow, you are soooo lucky, you get to eat that food, it smells soooo gooood" and I kind of want to give the impression that they are still smarter than me, and that they have not lost that part just because I have changed diet.. I know it sound pathetic, but that's the truth. :p


I don't think you should proclaim to your friends that you are missing cooked foods and that they are so lucky. Not only is this not authentic, it also isn't beneficial to you as you are creating 'positive affirmations' towards cooked food. I really believe in the mind-body connection, and by repeating your love for cooked food - you mentally accept that more and more. Then naturally later you will feel more deprived on raw. If you switch things around and see raw food as an abundant lifestyle and cooked foods as 'lacking', that totally shifts the mental framework around giving you more success with raw.

[artgirly4]

Raw food eater is a fine diagnosis for me!!! Vs some other socially unacceptable stuff.

So I dont fit in, I do what I do and it is a-ok. I have done well as others know now how I eat and it is all ok. We might make a bigger deal out of it while others pay no attention.

I know what I want and although support was important to start(went to potlucks n such) I do great now all by myself. We are here for your support and it all comes, so no worries.

You are right about finding the best way to eat. Rawk on!!! Woohooo thankx to Aleesha ,I went back and read rkk reply. I love mind body connection(cuz they are!!). "Raw works best for my body"!!

I am happy to eat the garnishes on the table lest I eat the stuff they call "food"

[Aleesha Sattva]

i agree with rkk... what you say is what your body believes.

my friends know i'm raw. simple. i don't make excuses for it. i don't care what they think. the only think i care about is MY health, MY body and MY life.

if they said the things to me your friends say... i'd leave and not go back.

honestly think about this another way. if you were an alcoholic... would you drink a little just to fit in???

[Charov]

So weird you brought that up because actually, I have promised my friends that I will go out drinking with them pretty soon. I haven't touched alcohol since I became raw, I just feel it is totally wrong, but they are so disappointed at me for changing my life that I fear if I do not do some of the old stuff I did before, then my friends won't stay friends with me anymore. And then I would have no one in this city I live in. I need them!

I can't lose my friends, I hate myself for being the doormat, but I have to lay in the bed I have made, it's really hard to change the dynamic in the group. So hard because they are all such strong personality's, I am not.

I do not want to drink, I feel no need for it at all, but in order to get them of my back for a while, I have to.. I hate it, I HATE IT!!


And yes, I will try to stop saying good things about cooked food just so they can fell like "winners" over me and my raw food. I can't belive how I can sink to that level. Just desperate I guess.

I hate having low selfesteem! Always complaining and depressed. Even when I find something that I can call my own like Raw food, I still am a slave to the approval of others. I want to change that!

But finally I have done somthing on my own, started a raw food lifestyle, without anyone pushing me or forcing me or telling me to do it. I did it, and I'm still doing it! That is worth more than any amount of money or gold to me.

[T-Bird]

Wow Charov! That's tough!

But don't go drinking just for them. Go out - get a perrier with lime - or soda with lemon.

Be yourself!

If you really want a beer or a wine - go for it, for yourself! Not to fit in.


Cuz heroin and crack might be just around the corner.

[ruffsongraw]

some ppl might say that "misery enjoys company" and that is why ppl want you to drink w/them.
who knows what effect alcohol might have on a person who has been raw for months? you might get SUPER drunk SUPER easy, might have a HELLUVA hangover---would not be good.
as for the friends bugging you about your food choices, i SO agree with the above--this is YOUR body and yours alone. if raw is working for you, dont let anyone sabotage that!! it will mess you up for days or worse. you will regret it and feel worse for it. then they will always think they can nudge you into eating their way.

jen

[artgirly4]

At the risk of repeating myself, here goes....I love this quote:

"You must dare to disassociate yourself from those who would delay your journey... Leave, depart, if not physically, then mentally. Go your own way, quietly, undramatically, and venture toward trueness at last."

My friends changed when I went raw...gradually of course. Because I grew a whole new bunch of cells and became a new ME! So I was no longer drawn to the same ol friends. I love them just not my hanging out peeps.

Friends come and they go. Its ok , that is life!!!

[Gaius]

One of the weaknesses of modern society is that we place too high a value on being socially accepted. We should be choosing our friends, not hoping somebody chooses us.

[blizzful7]

When I became a vegetarian people I knew freaked a little. I mean my grandfather was a meat packer who used to own a bar-b-que restaurant and I lived in a city that smelled like fried chicken. I found that keeping my "no thank you" simple was the best way.

I don't follow the idea that friends who don't agree or "respect" your food choices are not real friends. The writer bellhooks wrote, "you've changed and forgot to tell me." I think their harassing and prodding is more about you changing than about food. When we change a part of our lives that's as essential and social as food, I think people feel threatened. They fear losing you; they feel judged. And they are forced to quickly re-establish your relationship (what you can do together).

I know you don't want to be a doormat, but I suggest being patient with your friends. Keep saying "no", stick to what's best for yourself. But, I wouldn't write my friends off.
Friendship is so important.

[Shoney]

Being a doormat is a nice way out sometimes, isn't it? We just go with the flow, let other people tell us who to be, how to feel and . . . what to eat.

It doesn't sound to me like they're real friends - they don't have your best interests in mind and are threatened when you try to improve yourself.

If you can make such a radical change as what to eat, maybe you'll also find the real you - the one who isn't a doormat, who knows how to draw those boundaries and feel good about the times when it's necessary to stand alone.

You can do it!!

[Green_Woman]

I hate having low selfesteem!

Then don't.


I want to change that!

Then do.

It's your life - you choose your present and your future by what you decide you will think, eat, drink, and FEEL each day.

[Raw Angel Mom]

Oh stand your ground! True worthy friends will cross your path. Until then, i would minimize conversation about food with them. At work when they have occasional barbecue, i just say that i ate already and will socialize with them. Or i will simply bring my own food.

Keep doing research and read about raw food. This give you powerful tools when someone ask you question.

I recommend that you read 12 step to raw food, it gives you good tips on how to deal with people.

Be proud of you and in time, when people start to notice how good you look, they may be inspired to follow your foot step.

p.s If they are true friends, they will respect your choice.I would sit with them and explain, listen, i am doing this for my health and i need your support. I will socialize with you but you need to respect my choice. You really don't need to drink to go out. Believe in you and don't listen to that part of you that says you aren't good enough. You are and you deserve to be healthy. People will forget soon that you are raw vegan, i promise, just stand your ground and believe in you.

[RawHeaven]

So weird you brought that up because actually, I have promised my friends that I will go out drinking with them pretty soon. I haven't touched alcohol since I became raw, I just feel it is totally wrong,

You didn't promise them, you invalidated yourself and your beliefs.



but they are so disappointed at me for changing my life that I fear if I do not do some of the old stuff I did before, then my friends won't stay friends with me anymore. And then I would have no one in this city I live in. I need them!

they are disappointed in you for changing your life!!!???!!!! What?! Do you understand what you've written? This says it all. They are Not your friends.


Friends support, love you unconditionally and want the best for you. accept you for who you are. It sounds like they're completely insecure, threatened, using you and not in your best interest. it sounds like a super enabling relationship ~ "drink with us Charov and we will love you". As a psychic I see several of your friends are borderline alcoholics/drug addicted if they're not already there. You will see this soon yourself....I hope. Sorry to be so blunt, but your spirit wants to know the truth which is why you're posting here. You do not need them. You only need what is best for yourself. Listen to your intuition!!!!



I do not want to drink

Then please don't. Listen to yourself, have faith and trust.

There are many soul friends on the planet for you to interact with. You're an amazing individual, you have a lot of light. I find it impossible to believe that you don't attract light to yourself. Standing your ground will demonstate to you who your true friends are. You may keep a couple who you may discover really are your friends, but you won't know this truth until you create boundaries with them. You have a choice.

Hugs.

[RawHeaven]

The other thing I forgot mention Charov is you're the core of this particular circle of friends, that's why they're freaked out. You may feel that you have low esteem, but you are actually a tremendous leader, a healer. You're the glue that's keeping this going. Ironically you don't want to keep it going ~ I think you know this....just FEAR (false energy appearing real) has taken over. You have changed and they can't handle it for a reason.

Again you have a choice. Do you want them to completely suck the life force out of you, use your healing energy for their own needs and your magnificent, creative energy to heal their stuff and create their dramas? I see you listen a lot to their problems when you could be using your energy for other things. They do not reciprocate and are just using you. Ask yourself these questions. You are at a crossroads and you are STRONG. I would not say these things if I didn't see them clearly. You are incredible and your life purpose is too large for me to see, but I see sparks vibrating and bouncing off the entire planet. You do not have time to waste with ignorant people, but you wanted to experience this and them to know the difference. It is all happening for a reason and it's in divine order.

Shine! Shine! Shine! It's time for you to shine. Kick them to the curb! :D

[ellelit]

I have my first social activity this weekend: coffee with a friend. I am going to have a fruit salad and an orange juice and hopefully there will be no nasty comments made :)

[snoops]

Don't anticipate nasty comments. Assume they are going to think it is so cool what you are doing for your health.:)

[a1icia]

I completely agree with RawHeaven. So beautifully said.

Charov, it's all inside you. You have the ability to be strong, confident and all the other things you wish you were. You just have to want it and then be it. It sounds difficult but it's really not.

Believe me, from experience, it FEELS MUCH BETTER to stand your ground and be true to who you are inside, than to be what everyone else wants you to be. Life is WAY TOO SHORT to waste, trying to make other people happy. Especially self centered people who really don't care about your happiness and what's best for you.

As far as having a bite of cake or bad food to make people happy, I'm just over 30 days into the raw food lifestyle and have attended 3 birthday parties plus Mother's Day and have been surrounded by tempting food. I did not give in once. Even though I was severely tempted, it's not worth it to me because this is what I've chosen for myself. A few seconds of pleasure eating cake, that when you break it down, is really poison inside the body and provides absolutely no benefit and only harm, is just not worth all the progress I'm making by taking such good care of myself.

If you stand up for yourself, you'll find that your friends will finally RESPECT YOU! You may even help them "by example," to lead a healthier lifestyle. EVERYONE wants to be healthier, but as you've noticed it's much more difficult without support. That's why Jenny Craig has counselors for people who want to lose weight and AA's 12 step program has sponsors for alcoholics. You really should surround yourself with people who support you. Until you find those people, keep coming back here, to this forum to get support. As you can see, you have lots of loving people here, who don't know you personally at all, but we all want to see you SUCCEED!

Continue to be a good example for your friends. I guarantee, if you stand up for yourself, you'll also make new, healthier, better friends as time goes by.

YOU CAN DO THIS!

[Charov]

OMG!! I LOVE you people!!!! I get so much positive energy from all of your comments, you have no idea!!

You guys say things that I feel in my heart, but for some reason I can not express to the people around me. Because they have not been fortunate like me and studied the raw food lifestyle like I have done. Even when I offer to teach them they will not let me, the doormat, teach them anything!

I have just had an sms-conversation with one of my friends:
Friend: "are you coming to the party saturday night?"
Me: "yeah, but I'm not drinking, so I will be driving to and from the party"
Friend: "oh yeah, that's right, I forgot you have let go of all the good stuff in life!"
Me: "I prefer to look at it like I have let go of the old "good" stuff, and started with new even better stuff"
Friend: "mhm, well good luck with that"

And at the party, they are gonna try to humiliate me and make me feel like shit, I know them! Specially when they drink!! I am gonna have to try not to get weak and become a doormat yet again. This time I will do my absolute best to NOT join them in humiliating me, NOT join them into talking shit about a life style they know absolutely NOTHING about and NOT be ashamed about who I have become now.

I feel like I owe it to me, to you guys and to every single future raw foodist! Feels like I am in fact a raw "soldier" fighting for the human right to eat like humanbeings are supposed to eat! May sound stupid, but that's how I feel right now! War against processed unhealthy food! Even tho I am alone in "my world", I feel like I have people all over the world supporting what I say about raw food! And living the same way I live now!

I am so PUMPED!!!! I'm gonna fight for my right to party as the new sober-organic-raw-smokefree-salad loving-fruit eating- person I am! :p


From the help of all of your comments, you have pumped me up with new energy! I obviously have NO support from anyone I know (exept my mother which I have "forced" into raw food, and she felt so much better after just one week! I feel like I have given her the greatest gift in the world, I have introduced her to the food that she is SUPPOSED to eat! REAL FOOD!) But with the support from you guys, I do not feel alone as I used to, I feel like we are in this together, trying to change this world one person at a time.

My friends act like my enemies, but I deep inside, I feel like I am stronger than them combined, because I feel that I have "good and winning" anwers to their comments about cooked food and their negativity towards raw food!

Thank you for every word you say to me, the support is amazing in here! Thank you!! :)

[Wordracr]

Ha! One of my best friends had said this same stuff to me.

He also had the audacity to say/joke "You need to get fat again! You're no fun."

Wow :O :)

[pixie_333]

in my life i've often found when i've changed most or all of my friends didn't and doesn't support the new me and conflicts with my new energy and being. i couldn't grow and enhance healthy with unhealthy influances around me. this is me.. my body, my being, my life, my journey. where i am i attract people to my life. i've found saying goodbye to unhealthy people opened the door for healthier ones to enter. sometimes i miss old friends and get lonely.. but i've only rentered on an unhealthy asspect of my old self usualy.. hence reflect on the healthy aspects/connections i embraced with them.
but bottom line... friends, family, lovers, teachers etc are only meant to be in our lives for so long. doesn't mean always. i had to set free of 2 friends of 25 years because i just changed and they were very unhealthy...
and we all always get tested for our faith and usualy many times... from them or others.

but on the raw bit etc.. sometimes people don't understand the benefits of raw. people have been mind controled on what to eat.

but to answer your question "how can i become more socialy accepted as a raw foodist?" in my opnion the answer is being content with who you are. if you accept yourself and proud and happy with what you are doing then others will read that energy and not really have anything to say to degrade you. negative feeds off of negative. and sure you might get the strange looks and some crititsim.. but not nearly if you are content. same goes with any situation at hand.

[lucky lemons]

This is such an insightful and beautiful thread, just have to put in my two cents :)

I agree, a lot of people find raw foodism threatening because they are insecure or unsure about their own lifestyle (eating, drinking habits etc). People who are ok with their own life choices are usually more accepting of raw food, even if it isn't for them. But the people who have said critical things to me (they have been few, thank goodness) are people that I see are very insecure or conflicted in general. It can be frustrating but I also feel compassion for these people. I have been told that raw food is "just a fad" and that cooked food simply tastes better (that may be true for them, lol). I don't debate the issue much with these people. I'm not interested in 'converting' any one. If some one asks a polite and specific question about my diet I will answer it, but I try not to get into it with people. And I try to cover my butt by bringing enough raw food with me places. :D

But the greater issue is that sometimes when people make important life decisions, and they have to leave some people behind in order to follow the path they've chosen. It's hard initially, but things will work out. It's better in the long run for all concerned, I feel. You will eventually find new friends who match your new life. I say this for myself also, because although my current friends are not critical of my eating habits, I feel that I am also being pulled away from the life style that they lead, in part because of becoming a raw foodist. Food is a powerful thing. The way we eat can completely change our priorities, our feelings and thoughts, and yes even our energy. I guess that's what this site is about, sorting through the ins and outs of how this lifestyle can change a person. And we're all here together to help one another figure it out.

[RawHeaven]

And at the party, they are gonna try to humiliate me and make me feel like shit, I know them! Specially when they drink!! I am gonna have to try not to get weak and become a doormat yet again. This time I will do my absolute best to NOT join them in humiliating me, NOT join them into talking shit about a life style they know absolutely NOTHING about and NOT be ashamed about who I have become now.

My dear use that fiery goddess warrior energy when you need to. ;) And a gentle reminder: you also have the option of picking up your car keys and walking out the door if you experience abuse that you're ready to release. Let's not call it anything other than it is. If they treat you this way it's abusive and not in the least bit "friendly". I think you're an extremely courageous person for calling this experience forth and even going to the party at all. That takes guts to move through it with grace and I wish you all the best. Remember to affirm what you want to experience beforehand. Make it as positive as possible, despite what you may feel you may experience. Expect the best outcome and it will be so.



I feel like I owe it to me, to you guys and to every single future raw foodist! Feels like I am in fact a raw "soldier" fighting for the human right to eat like humanbeings are supposed to eat!
I am so PUMPED!!!! I'm gonna fight for my right to party as the new sober-organic-raw-smokefree-salad loving-fruit eating- person I am! :p


Your words have fired me up and inspired me on so many levels ~ you have no idea. Chills are running up and down my spine in feeling your positive energy and light. Do you see now? You are a leader and you have validated what I was seeing with my third eye. I cannot wait to read your book or hear you speak in years to come. You have got IT. Many blessings Charov. You radiate!

Hugs.

[RawHeaven]

Beautifully said.


This is such an insightful and beautiful thread, just have to put in my two cents :)

I agree, a lot of people find raw foodism threatening because they are insecure or unsure about their own lifestyle (eating, drinking habits etc). People who are ok with their own life choices are usually more accepting of raw food, even if it isn't for them. But the people who have said critical things to me (they have been few, thank goodness) are people that I see are very insecure or conflicted in general. It can be frustrating but I also feel compassion for these people. I have been told that raw food is "just a fad" and that cooked food simply tastes better (that may be true for them, lol). I don't debate the issue much with these people. I'm not interested in 'converting' any one. If some one asks a polite and specific question about my diet I will answer it, but I try not to get into it with people. And I try to cover my butt by bringing enough raw food with me places. :D

But the greater issue is that sometimes when people make important life decisions, and they have to leave some people behind in order to follow the path they've chosen. It's hard initially, but things will work out. It's better in the long run for all concerned, I feel. You will eventually find new friends who match your new life. I say this for myself also, because although my current friends are not critical of my eating habits, I feel that I am also being pulled away from the life style that they lead, in part because of becoming a raw foodist. Food is a powerful thing. The way we eat can completely change our priorities, our feelings and thoughts, and yes even our energy. I guess that's what this site is about, sorting through the ins and outs of how this lifestyle can change a person. And we're all here together to help one another figure it out.

[freelive]

I do believe in law of attraction, so in that light, basically what others think about you doesn't affect your life a bit, but what you think about yourself and them(including about what they think about you)does. So you would have to find a way to allow them to eat or think what they want without judging them in your mind. Then focus on their positive aspects. If you do it consistently, things will start to change. People you already know, will start showing their positve sides to you or disapear from your life, and you will atract the people who match your now new positive vibration.
It doesn't matter so much what you say or do-change your thoughts and slowly your own behavior will change too - you will be inspired to better actions naturally.
To me right now to have some cooked food in my diet feels better, but one day I might be all raw again. But this time I am not going to push against other people making different choices.

[DeborahB]

I have always been confident, respectful and vocal about my food choices. I always tell my friends that I'm not criticising their choices so they shouldn't criticise mine.
Lots of people ask me "What do you eat when you go to a restaurant?" My reply is "Everywhere does salad if asked." I don't mind eating the same salads when I'm out with friends.

I invite friends to my home often to test new recipes out or treat them to chocolate mousse (my secret weapon!), cheesecakes and other nice foods. I put on Afternoon Tea with pretty teapots and a triple cake stand laden with delicious raw goodies.

After being raw for over 2 years, not only can my friends see how happy I have become and how full of love I am all of the time, they respect my food choices now.
I feel blessed to have the friends I do and they even prepare raw for me now when I visit them! I feel so grateful for this. But know things could have been different if I'd been different in my approach.

14 of us recently hired a cottage for the weekend and I took with me my blender and seed grinder. My friends were curious and when they asked I showed them what I was doing and let them sample my food.

I've found that living and letting live is the best approach with raw.
I feel like shouting about it from the rooftops all of the time, but people will only listen when they are ready to listen.

[debilana]

If you want to shut everyone up, just tell them you are under STRICT doctors orders, esp with fast food and alcohol. Then if they try and force it on you, tell them, do you really want my heart condition to act up?

Seriously- everyone believes their doctor, so tell them your doctor said you run the risk of a heart attack if you do not radically change the foods you eat. Its pretty damn near the truth.

[pixie_333]

If you want to shut everyone up, just tell them you are under STRICT doctors orders, esp with fast food and alcohol. Then if they try and force it on you, tell them, do you really want my heart condition to act up?

Seriously- everyone believes their doctor, so tell them your doctor said you run the risk of a heart attack if you do not radically change the foods you eat. Its pretty damn near the truth.

i totaly disagree with doing this approach. it feeds lies, insecurity etc. if people can't accept you and degrades and forces things then there's no business being with them. it speaks loud and clear. who wants to be a doormat? if you don't want to be a doormat then don't be.
also most people here recognise doctors and medical feilds in most cases are bad news... why feed the posion to be a hero?

[smiley]

I copied your sms conversation and have made some changes to your part as a suggestion:

Friend: "are you coming to the party saturday night?"
Me: "yeah, I plan on being the designated driver"
Friend: "oh yeah, that's right, I forgot you have let go of all the good stuff in life!"
Me: "I respect your personal choices and I appreciate if you can respect mine. I am looking forward to a fun time with you and our other friends."
Friend: "mhm, well good luck with that" (after this suggested response, I"m sure your friends response would have been different)

OR

Friend: "are you coming to the party saturday night?"
Me: "yeah, I plan on being the designated driver"
Friend: "oh yeah, that's right, I forgot you have let go of all the good stuff in life!"
Me: "It doesn't matter if I drink or not, I will still enjoy everyone's company. I am looking forward to it!"
Friend: "mhm, well good luck with that" (after this suggested response, I"m sure your friends response would have been different)

I have told all my friends and family that I respect their personal choices and appreciate if they can respect mine. A few people have made comments to me and I just repeat myself about respecting their personal choices and asking them to respect mine. I'm happy to say that this has worked with everyone in my life.

I would suggest you read "12 Steps to Raw" by Victoria Boutenko. This book is excellent to help you with social situations.

I wish you the best in your raw food journey! :D

P.S. I'm not sure if you are against alcohol all together or if you are concerned about alcohol not being raw vegan. If you are only concerned about breaking the raw vegan diet, please note that wine is raw vegan. I personally enjoy a glass or two now and then. But, that is a very personal choice.

[Ironbutterfly]

Sounds like you don't need to find ways to fit in with your friends... it sounds like you need to find new friends. If they can't be happy about the new healthy path you have taken, I question how genuine their friendship really is.

I have been raw for just over a month and I have gone out with friends. Granted, it is very hard not just to put aside the "diet" for one meal. But so far I haven't done that. I find that I'm more the one trying to convert them... come on over to the raw side of life!

[Veganelle]

I don't think you should proclaim to your friends that you are missing cooked foods and that they are so lucky. Not only is this not authentic, it also isn't beneficial to you as you are creating 'positive affirmations' towards cooked food. I really believe in the mind-body connection, and by repeating your love for cooked food - you mentally accept that more and more. Then naturally later you will feel more deprived on raw. If you switch things around and see raw food as an abundant lifestyle and cooked foods as 'lacking', that totally shifts the mental framework around giving you more success with raw.

I agree totally. I am new to raw, but have been a vegan for over 20 years, and people are always saying to me things like "I've made some cookies but you can't eat them because they contain milk and eggs." I generally remind them that my not eating the cookies is a personal choice, and not a matter of "can't".

My social isolation has definitely increased since becoming raw a few months ago... and I'm not upset about it. I had grown weary of sitting down with meat-eaters long ago and the new challenge of eating raw has made eating in a "regular" restaurant even more unappealing to me.

[Green_Woman]

You know what I've begun to notice more and more... the less I CARE what others think, the more others are intrigued by what I DO.

My new(ish) roommate wants to go on RAW this summer.

My fiance is going back on High Raw this summer.

A dozen or so friends on an internet forum are now hooked and drinking GS every day!

YOUR LIFE is your witness - THEIR WORDS ultimately don't matter. ;)

[Veganelle]

I copied your sms conversation and have made some changes to your part as a suggestion:

P.S. I'm not sure if you are against alcohol all together or if you are concerned about alcohol not being raw vegan. If you are only concerned about breaking the raw vegan diet, please note that wine is raw vegan. I personally enjoy a glass or two now and then. But, that is a very personal choice.

Actually, a lot of wine is not vegan in that animal products, such as isinglass, are used during the process of making of it (and subsequently filtered out).

I have a case of red wine made by The Organic Wine Works in California. The wine is clearly labeled as vegan and is also sulfite-free (sulfites are what cause a "red wine head-ache". It's pretty tasty, although my tolerance for wine is such that I can generally only have a glass at a time.

http://vegans.frommars.org/wine/faq.php

[Redrocket]

You live in a city and there are no raw groups or activities in your city? I'm very surprised. :p Have you looked for raw food classes or group outings? We have Raw B-Q's, raw food classes and discussions and even ice cream (fruit of course) socials here in little Naples Fl:D

[Redrocket]

As far as eating things other than what's considered in your raw food diet, why would you do that? I've been to cookouts and have seen people bring raw food entrees and they are the first to go. People love them if they are prepared right. Everybody, even meat eaters appreciate great fresh food and raw food is always fresh. I recently went to a social food outing where my good friend Rene brought a raw apple pie and some raw crackers and they were the first ones to disappear. I didn't even get a chance to try them.
I would stick to your guns and be yourself and be a beacon of light and hope and an example to everyone you come into contact with. You are doing such a wonderful thing for yourself and why would you want to poison yourself with bad food, drink and self-doubt? Please stay strong, people that live and think like you are hard to come by. You are a rare and interesting individual, nurture that and keep on the path and stay that way. Why would you want to mix in with the collective conscienceness? You are different and an explorer of life. These are great things! You have a gift for knowledge and the courage to be unique and conscious, don't throw it away even for one day:cool:

[raweater]

Maybe try to gently inform them from scientific articles or documentaries just how dangerous those foods are. Most of those things are more dangerous than smoking, would they pressure you into smoking? Did you have health problems before going raw? If so explain to them that it is those foods that caused you your health problems.

I've kept my friends up to date on what I learned about health and as a result they fully understand me and most are now eating a lot of raw food also.