Raw Relationships

[tylerdurden]

How vital is it for both parties in a serious relationship to be raw. From your past or current experiences is it simply a matter of how important of an issue you make it? If you’re like me I’m sure you enjoy meeting and sharing moments with everyone no matter their diet, race, or religion but do you put a space between yourself and those that don’t share your enthusiasm for going raw when it comes to matters of the heart? I think most of us would agree we are a minority so meeting people that are passionate about raw food isn’t so simple. I guess what I’m getting at is what if you meet someone that could not complement you more in every aspect of life except for diet? Do such relationships stand a chance in the long run? A lot of us go raw for the health benefits but what is living a long life without the person you don’t want to live without? I would hate to pass up something beautiful over food… right?

[RawSar]

If he isn't vegan then he's out!
I just don't want to be with someone who supports the meat and dairy industry.
If he has to have cooked or vegan junk food then I don't think I would fuss about that as long as it stays out of the house! ;)
Under my roof you eat raw and vegan. I do what I can to keep the people I love and care about healthy by making sure no vegan junk food is inside or any junk food of any kind!

[ViolinCyndee]

If he isn't vegan then he's out!
I just don't want to be with someone who supports the meat and dairy industry.


I agree with this! My husband eats cooked vegan,though, so I do have to cook for him...

[Juicy_Fruit_Girl]

My bf eats anything, that means meat, fish, veg, fruit, dairy. Even though sometimes I wish that he was vegan or even raw, I would never let the difference in our eating habits come between us. (That said, I do eat cooked food sometimes with him as I am not 100% raw yet). He is very supportive of my rawness and he is always very curious of the dishes I make and he usually likes them as well but I know he will never give up fish and occasional burger. He is not unhealthy person though but I know he could be healthier.

I believe that you cannot really choose who you fall in love with, and I think it is a bit silly not to date someone only for the reason they eat dairy/meat/cooked food even though you really like that person. But everyone is different and this is only my opinion :) I have very strong believes that certain people come into our lives for a reason and them not sharing your own views or eating habits, could be lesson you need to learn in life. It's all about being tolerant and let people do what ever they choose to do with their lives.

[rkk]

I am vegan transitioning to raw vegan. I personally would only get into a relationship with someone who is already vegan. If I could find someone who is a raw vegan or even more raw than me.... that would be fabulous, as I have always struggled with food issues and emotional eating my whole life, and would love to have someone to help me along my food journey, rather than someone pull me back to cooked or junk food. The guy I started dating last year was a raw vegan who got me back on track to raw foods again, and it was just wonderful... I am so grateful he came into my life to inspire me. I know if I was with a non-vegan or a vegan who ate a junk food diet, I would have a hard time not falling back into old habits, as my resolve is not yet strong enough and I need the support. I don't mind occasional healthy cooked vegan meals when out of home, but it would be great to be with someone who eats raw with me on a daily basis, and shares the (un)cooking duties with me as well. I do not want to have to make cooked vegan foods for anyone while I am trying to stay raw vegan. Even when my parents (who are non-vegan) come to visit me, they eat raw vegan food with me and really enjoy it ... and help me make raw stuff. I want the same in a partner.

For someone who is already in a relationship and then gets into raw food, obviously I don't think that person should just leave his/her partner. That would be unfair and hurtful since raw foods was not a part of their life when they met. However, for someone single like myself, I am definitely interested in meeting single raw vegan men who share my lifestyle. I don't think it's wrong to focus exclusively on vegans and raw vegans for a relationship, since I am single. I am not hurting anyone since I get to pre-select the type of partner I'd like, instead of dating someone incongruent and trying to make him change.

[spicyfull]

When you know Better........You DO BETTER. If you are already married, you're sort of stuck. But in a New Relationship, I would only want someone RAW. MY Heart runs on what I Feed it.

[RawYorkCity]

Ideally someone raw, but I'd settle for someone who tolerates and accepts my lifestyle. There aren't very many raw foodies out there, and there are not many willing to change eating habits developed throughout said person's lifetime.

[Colorawdo girl]

If you are already married,as spicyfull said, then you can make the absolute best of it. Win over without a word, perhaps seeing what you do and your results,not your words,your mate will come over.

Seeking new? I want to have someone align with me. Food and kitchen can be important in a relationship.

Eating,even raw, is still wanting social context. Raw foodaaaaas may not have a lot of social events or places to go eat. It is sometimes a more isolated thing. SO why not have a partner to share that with and have in common??? How cool.

Natural hygiene is nice too. To know the person you are intimate with is clean inside and out. Odors all but eliminated(gas at night wooohooooo) colon clean and skin clear and bright....do not forget raw beauty too as well as progressing towards raw health.

If this is important to you because you have seen what all that other sad food(a natural type vegan as well) has done, then might be hard to be with someone around that. IF its important to you.May not be.

Cooking for anyone ,for me would be a challenge. Cooking meat or smelling it cooking always,no can do. (my friends hub eats meat and she doesnt,he and the grill have a date every night he cooks meat,winter or summer).

So,as always,it is all about what you want. I think there are a lot of raw food eaters out there and you can find one for you!!! Happy hunting.

[DwightLight]

When I met my partner it was at a vegan cafe... which certainly made it easier. Didn't mean exactly that she was vegan, but it turns out she was; I on the other hand still hadn't let go of the cheese, but that really was the only dairy/animal product other than honey still left in my diet. She was a major inspiration in going raw, her diet was already far more pure than mine, she'd cut out any and all additives, sugar, and was pretty raw for the most part. When I think back to the night we met, I brought a vegan cupcake over to her table to share with her, she ate half the half but mentioned she hadn't had that much sugar in a long time, it didn't click with me then, but as we spent more time together her diet revealed itself more and more. Anyhow, we played around making stuff out of raw food real world for a few months on occasion, but still going out for Thai, or Indian on occasion. Then came the March 31st, I called her up after yoga and told her about how in class I'd decided that I wanted to go raw for April, she was all for it.

For us, diet has always been a major part of our relationship, a common ground. You are what you eat, is more than just a saying; what we eat effects our mind, and body in numerous ways; it effects our moods, and temperament. When you share a lifestyle such as raw, that gives you a common starting point, and sharing in preparing and enjoying the "fruits" of such a lifestyle with one another is a beautiful thing. Without her support, I wouldn't have made it two weeks, but having someone there to support and share in this lifestyle has made a world of difference. To have a relationship that shares ideals, diet and spirit makes things flow just that much easier.

[Cerellia]

Vegetarianism is a prime criteria for me, someone who does not respect the life of fellow-beings just can't be on the same wavelenght.
As for eating raw or nor: It would probably bother me to see a beloved person ruining their health with SAD food (it also bothers me when I see my family members do that), but what can you do, other than explaining it to them?
I wouldn't prepare food in a way that is against my belief for anyone, though. If they want it, they can make it themselves. Obviously, meat is out of question under my roof!

[Dimond]

Any significant relationships, there would be certain lifestyle similarities & things in common. Not necessarily all raw or even vegan, but definitely partially and very much into health. You should be able to draw into your life the types of people that fit into who you are. I tend to only be interested in certain types of people when it comes to ones that I'd be close with. Health is only a part of it.

I didn't like cooking before raw & rarely did it and definitely wouldn't start now.

[Revvell]

Before I met my guy I was hardcore as many of those before me are now, about HAVING to be with a vegetarian at the very least. Well, things change. He eats what he wants; I eat what I want. I get no guff from Him about what I eat and in actuality, He goes out of His way to make sure, wherever we go, I get to eat ~ and, He gets no guff from me about His food program.


If you are already married, you're sort of stuck. You know, I'd rather be "stuck" with this guy than any of the men I've been with before ~ many of whom have been raw or vegetarian. Just because they don't do one thing you don't do (in this case, eat dead animal carcasses) or they DO do one thing you do, doesn't make for a great relating.

He and I have so many other interests in common; He's laid back, accommodating, fun, creative, loves and cherishes me. He can eat what he wants ~ and does as do I.

Revvell (http://LetsTalkRaw.com)

[snoops]

30 years ago when I met my husband I was a carnivore too:(. I'm not now, he still is. Not leaving him for it:p. He fully supports my choices and I keep telling him about books I am reading (like the China Study). Maybe one day...

[JCB44]

I would love it if my spouse would switch to raw, but I know it will never happen ( I think) It would be a lot easier to stay raw with the both of us doing it. I know that raw is best for me, so I have to compramise. Meaning that I eat raw and she does what she wants, and we have a "normal" life. I do love her dearly and I do know that unless it is her idea, I cannot change her. It works for us. I don't think that both people have to be the same way to have a relationship, but it may make it harder or more fun depending how you look at it.

[Revvell]

I see NO compromise in one person eating what they do and my eating what I do. I don't compromise. Makes no sense. It's like He has his interests; I have mine and we come together and share ours. We're individuals, not stuck together at the hip. Sheesh! If He was exactly like me, how boring that would be.

Revvell (http://www.Revvellations.com)

[Dimond]

I agree with Revvell that there are way more important things in a relationship. It's just food people. :p It's difficult enough finding the right partner and if you found someone you thought was your soul mate, that you're madly in love with, would you seriously decide not to be with them because of their diet?

[tylerdurden]

Thanks everyone I didn’t expect to get so much input and it’s very interesting getting both sides of it. I guess it really comes down to how much importance you place on the issue. I guess I’m just not sure where I place it on the important list. On one hand I would live out of a cardboard box on the side of some abandoned street and would be ecstatic just being able to lay down next to my future wife every night. Food doesn’t really matter when I look at it that way.

On the other hand it is very sexy knowing the person you love is clean and vibrant both inside and out. That you matter so much to them that they try to do everything they can to live the longest healthiest life possible with you. You vow to grow old with the person you love not leave them behind because you filled your body with toxins for 50 years… Ah so frustrating… haha! Thanks everyone!

[rkk]

I agree with Revvell that there are way more important things in a relationship. It's just food people. :p It's difficult enough finding the right partner and if you found someone you thought was your soul mate, that you're madly in love with, would you seriously decide not to be with them because of their diet?

Maybe I'm short-sighted here, but to me, someone who is a raw vegan is so much for an important quality to me than say... someone who has likes baseball as an interest, and I don't. I don't put it on the same level as just any other preference.

The reason vegan is so important to me, is because I'd like to know that the man I spend my life with has the same ethic as me about not harming animals needlessly. It tells me that he has a compassionate side, which I find so important.

As far as raw goes, it would be great to find a raw vegan partner, but if I at least found someone vegan who is totally health conscious and very open and willing to try/incorporate a good deal of raw... I'd be very much happy with that. (I wouldn't want to be with someone raw who is not vegan.... like a raw meat-eater would just not appeal to me, since he doesn't share the vegan ethic.) It's just that food preparation is so time consuming, it would be great to have someone to share kitchen duties with me and help me come up with creative raw things to try out. Food prep and eating can be a strong area of bonding over in a relationship. Being with someone raw or transitioning to raw also shows me that the person is very health-focused, and willing to work towards his personal best even if it isn't always convenient... which I appreciate.

I realize that currently there aren't that many raw vegans to choose from... but I think seeking a vegan partner as a baseline who is raw-curious and interested in transitioning might give more options.

[BeFree2009]

I believe that because it (being raw) spills into so many other facets of your belief systems that it'd be quite challenging to maintain a relationship with someone who isn't.

It's right up there with political beliefs, spiritual ones & such...and we know how powerful those are. ;)

I am blessed enough to have my soulmate be a raw foodie.

[Revvell]

You vow to grow old with the person you love not leave them behind because you filled your body with toxins for 50 years…

First of all, there's no promise that will make that happen. It's not in our hands.

Now, having said that, on average, women tend to live approx. 12 years longer than men so, I married a man 12 years younger than I. :p ;)

[Revvell]

Since I don't have beliefs, it's easy for me... and for Him. :)


I believe that because it (being raw) spills into so many other facets of your belief systems that it'd be quite challenging to maintain a relationship with someone who isn't.

It's right up there with political beliefs, spiritual ones & such...and we know how powerful those are. ;)

I am blessed enough to have my soulmate be a raw foodie.

[tylerdurden]

I believe that because it (being raw) spills into so many other facets of your belief systems that it'd be quite challenging to maintain a relationship with someone who isn't.


That is very true but when you have so many other important criteria I wonder can I afford to add diet into the mix as well... I'm going to be single all my life haha! Then again maybe I can't afford to leave it out.

[rkk]

Sometimes it's not all that exclusive though. For instance, I would really like a partner interested in spirituality, personal growth, open-mindedness and living in a compassionate, consciencious way. However, I don't have to look for all of these qualities separately... as many raw vegans are already dedicated to veganism (showing qualities of compassion and conscience), and are into spirituality and personal transformation (else they wouldn't have taken it upon themselves to adopt a diet without the same conveniences of meat-eating). Although I am generalizing here, I think that raw vegans have many of the qualities I seek in a partner that goes just beyond eating. Just working towards a raw vegan diet automatically puts many of these positive qualities together, as I see it.

[Dimond]

On one hand I would live out of a cardboard box on the side of some abandoned street and would be ecstatic just being able to lay down next to my future wife every night. Food doesn’t really matter when I look at it that way. My kind of guy, when can we meet? ;)

I'm not raw because of animals. That is just an added benefit. Raw doesn't really tell you if someone is compassionate towards animals since the majority of people love animals regardless of their diet. Someone isn't awful to me because they eat meat. They can have all these amazing qualities regardless. But as I already mentioned the people I typically would have close relationships with tend to have similar interests. However if they had everything I wanted, but raw and/or vegan, that's not a deal breaker. I would definitely be with someone interested in health & fitness. That's easy enough to find. Partially raw also easy. When you form a partnership you make it all work.

[tylerdurden]

My kind of guy, when can we meet? ;)

You are funny! Maybe one day!

You are right though love is a choice. Everyday you wake up and choose to stand by someone. I think it’s our responsibility to give the people we love a reason to want nothing more than to share every moment with you by their side. If you both have that mentality everything will fall into place. You’ll find median ground in all things. Love is really that simple yet it always turns into a complicated mess... Or do we just make it such?...

[asecretchord]

I used to be vegan but it didn't work out financially. Props to anyone who can live this lifestyle! It is wonderful!

[snoops]

I used to be vegan but it didn't work out financially. Props to anyone who can live this lifestyle! It is wonderful!

I don't get this comment. Financially??:confused::confused:

[Revvell]

I don't get this comment. Financially??:confused::confused:

Yuhh. Me neither. Let me see ~ fruits, veggies, seeds, nuts ~ don't have to buy meat... seems like one is saving money. :confused:

[asecretchord]

I don't get this comment. Financially??:confused::confused:

I just couldn't afford the vegan cosmetics, household cleaners, etc. It got to be way too much. :(

[Cerellia]

It's just food people.

No, meat is not just food, it is also terrible suffering for animals aswell as one of the biggest reasons for environment polution and poverty. And I don't think I could spend my life with someone who does not share my opinions on this.
Most other things, like different political opinion (as long as it is within the democraticl frame), interests, music and film taste, ect. I could tolerate.

Fortunally, I have a wonderful boyfriend who is also a long-time vegetarian and on his way to raw food, and who has - to a great extend - the same political opinion, interests and taste as I :)

[Revvell]

I just couldn't afford the vegan cosmetics, household cleaners, etc. It got to be way too much. :(

Well, all the cleaning, whether house or body cleansing products can be made easily and inexpensively at home. Wayyyyyy less costly than anything you could purchase in a store. As far as cosmetics.. *shrugs* ... I don't wear them so, that's not an issue for me.

[asecretchord]

Well, all the cleaning, whether house or body cleansing products can be made easily and inexpensively at home. Wayyyyyy less costly than anything you could purchase in a store. As far as cosmetics.. *shrugs* ... I don't wear them so, that's not an issue for me.

That's really admirable that you do all that. :)

[SekhemNefer]

If I was to wait around for a vegan, or a raw vegan then I wouldn't have anyone to date.

I can date a meat eater as long he doesn't eat a lot of meat and is a least caring enough to know that his meat is free range and not injected with hormone. Meaning he has to be into buying organically feed animals that are treated humanely on the farm.

I would make sure he eats a whole lot more vegetables than meat though.

[SekhemNefer]

I agree with Revvell that there are way more important things in a relationship. It's just food people. :p It's difficult enough finding the right partner and if you found someone you thought was your soul mate, that you're madly in love with, would you seriously decide not to be with them because of their diet?

I agree. I have been dateless for 15 years. Yes, 15 and i am in my mid-30s. Because I refuse to date no good men with no ambition. And many of the times the men I meet, I had to force myself to be sexually attracted to them just in order to just be in a relationship, because I thought being single was pathetic.

Now I have met a man that is truly for me. He is a meat eater, but he is into gourmet meals. Food of high quality. He is a big time foodie snob. He doesn't eat typical SAD foods.

If I was to pass him up to find a vegan, then I would be waiting FOREVER to have a man. And the few vegan men I have met are the Rastafarians. Just a bunch of pot smokers with no real jobs nor ambitions. I know there are some professional vegans out there. I just haven't met many. I have only met the eccentric and hippie types. Not my type of people. I like professional men...kind of Yuppie-ish.

Quite frankly, I am too picky. And I don't have sexual chemistry with most people. If I find the man that seems to be the man of my dreams, I won't not be with him, because he likes smoke salmon, or a rack of lamb once in a while. Or likes his food cooked.

All I will do is fix him a big salad bowl and make sure he gets some green smoothies.

[SekhemNefer]

No, meat is not just food, it is also terrible suffering for animals aswell as one of the biggest reasons for environment polution and poverty. And I don't think I could spend my life with someone who does not share my opinions on this.
Most other things, like different political opinion (as long as it is within the democraticl frame), interests, music and film taste, ect. I could tolerate.

Fortunally, I have a wonderful boyfriend who is also a long-time vegetarian and on his way to raw food, and who has - to a great extend - the same political opinion, interests and taste as I :)

If consuming meat is a eco-hazard, then agriculture aka farming isn't that far off from destroying the environment as well.

I think man being so healthy that they are having high birth rates around the world is the reason why the environment is poluted. We need less people on earth to bring the earth back to normal. That means....allowing a whole lot of people to die from diseases, illness and having governments force a one child per family law.

Less people on earth = less pollution.

[Cerellia]

If consuming meat is a eco-hazard, then agriculture aka farming isn't that far off from destroying the environment as well.

Most farming is carried out to feed life stock. Infact, you need the tenfold amount of vegetable food to produce 1 claory in meat. In the light of starvation i nthe world, eating meat is plainly immoral.

[klomasius]

All I ask is that he be vegetarian. There's heaps of them round here, so it's not a big ask. Raw or vegan would be a bonus.

I'd even consider dating a meat eater (something I haven't done in about 7 years) if he was accepting of my diet and didn't eat it near me.

[Revvell]

That's really admirable that you do all that. :)

It's not all that big a deal. Clean your home with white vinegar; make your own bath scrub with salt or organic sugar, some oil and essential oil. Can't be any easier.

[Dimond]

SekhemNefer, awesome you found someone & didn't settle. I don't feel you're too picky. I'm the same. When you don't stick with certain standards, you end up in relationships that don't work.

Also, the correct partner is not even someone we choose. Yes, you can decide whether or not you want to be with someone. But the ultimate partner, made just for you, is already in existence when you come here. It's then up to you to decide to have an amazing relationship with them or choose someone based on other things.

We also get to be a great influence on this person's health by being raw. They'll most likely want to at least partially eat it and learn better habits.

[Gaius]

I've been single for a few months, and I just turned raw 2 months ago, and I hope I can find somebody who can respect my diet. There's lot of vegetarians in my area so at least I have a chance.

[kaybee]

i think it really does depend on the reasons why you are doing it.

for some people it might be "just food", but for those of us who are vegan for ethical reasons, its a whole heck of a lot more than "just food"! It has to do with a whole worldview on compassion, and unwillingness versus willingness to take the lives of other creatures. So i think to say "its just food" is reductionist, or at least CAN BE reductionist, depending on ones reasons for being vegan (or raw vegan).

I agree with RKK and the others who have expressed this--i dont want to be with someone who feels its ok to take the life of another creature. A person who feels this is OK is not someone who can truly understand my heart, because my commitment to ethical veganism goes to the core of my being. so its not just food. I am no longer open to dating someone who is not at least vegetarian, though im starting to feel that even thats not sufficient; that it really has to be vegan. Of course someone high-raw would be ideal too, but we cant always have everything. I think another important issue to consider is that of if you wish to have children and you have radically different dietary beliefs--i.e. you feel strongly about begin vegan but you marry a meat-eater, or you feel strongly about raw foods and feel it is the best diet--and of course want your kids to be brought up on the best diet possible, but you marry someone who thinks that this diet could be inadequate or harmful to children or whatever, well, theres a huge risk of their being problems between you based on this difference of views.

So, in short, I guess it depends on your/one's reasons for being vegan. but its not "just food" for those of us who may be doing it for ethical etc. reasons.

[Irish_Vegan_Girl]

I don't care if they are raw or vegan, once they don't push their beliefs on me, I will respect theirs if they respect mine. However, it would be really cool if they were vegan but I wouldn't care too much about raw.

[hollywoodairbrush]

My GirlFriend of 1.5yrs is going to college, well she is about all done as a culinary arts student, she wants to be a pastry chef. I have'nt let it come between our relationship at all. People do I change, as you and I have. Due to my past experiences I wouldn't let it ruin our relationship, I will always be there for her as long as we are together. If my family left me to the ruins in my drug addiction, then i wouldnt' be where i am at today. Same in this situation. If you love someone, you will adjust and take care of your own needs. And if you live a wholesome raw lifestyle, by example, then your other just may decided you have something good for you and may want in on it as well, maybe not. Not a real reason to break up a good thing, or divorce. This is a very opinionated topic, so i do see where people are coming from and I can understand people when they say they will only date raw/vegan foodist. It's all a personal adventure, good topic though.:)

[Dimond]

Well said, Hollywoodairbrush & cool name too. :)