moonstar
05-02-2009, 06:59 AM
Hello –
I have been on this board since 2004 (it says 2005, but they did a website migration, etc. back then and I lost my old account / I did something that deleted it). Anyway, I have been here for a long time and post from time to time. I am not sure how I stumbled across this website, but I remember being drawn to it because of the positive energy and interesting people/posts. Also, although a SAD eater, I love and loved fresh vegetables, so I wanted to see what this was all about. I have also wanted to share my story and write it down – so I can begin to heal and be happy again.
Ever since 2004, I have been on and off vegetarian /vegan/ raw. I am now 35 years old, 5’8” tall, and weigh 204 pounds – the most I have ever weighed in my entire life -- the worst I have ever felt and most unhappy I have ever been. I have been up and down with my weight since I was around 10 years old – being a bit taller and of a medium frame has helped me to carry it – but it has not been healthy – nor this high of a weight. Everyone in my family struggles with their weight.
A lot has happened since 2004, including an entire career shift and move (and back to a similar career as before the shift, but didn’t have to move again), my father going through quadruple-bypass surgery in fall 2007 and then dying last summer from the staph infection that developed on the mitral valve, and dealing with the aftermath with my negative mother and family (sorry to sound so sad – it’s just something that bothers me every day – my family is your mix of alcoholism (not me), emotional eating, depression, negativity, denial, not taking action because of fear, laziness, blame, etc).
In October 2007, my father, 70, had quadruple bypass (and another surgery that December to remove a tumor from his kidney – they needed to take his right kidney with the tumor – which was benign). He retired in 2000, after serving for nearly 35 years as a police officer. Like many law enforcement officers, the sheer stress of the job and erratic work shifts, etc, took a toll. He was a wonderful, fun, and loving person who I miss so much – but he dealt with his stress by overeating – and awful foods. He was always overweight – but was lucky to be physically strong and fairly healthy (as healthy as one can be on SAD – if that’s possible) his entire life. I was around 185 pounds at that time.
When he went in for his surgery, he had two nearly 100 % blockage in two arteries and 90 % in the others. The heart actually started to pump blood in the opposite direction to nourish his body! (what the body will do when it is crying to stay alive!). When he was in recovery a few hours after the surgery, he couldn’t talk very loud (after having the garden-hose type tube down his throat), but he motioned to one of my brothers and I to move closer. He said “Please take care of yourselves – it would break my heart to see any of my kids have to go through this.”
When I read other board member’s story on this site – Chef Dina (check out her story and website – very inspiring), I cried. It was like reading the story of my own father. What I saw at the hospital was the same – the fried fish sticks, butter, and cheese that they served RIGHT AFTER wheeling patients into recovery. It was awful. It was the first time in my adult life that I had spent so much time in hospitals and got to see the robbery in motion – of health, life, money, etc, and how it is each and every person’s personal responsibility to take care of their health and to try to change health and lifestyle in this country.
As I mentioned earlier, I have dabbled in this lifestyle for a while – have Alissa’s book, have been to Grezzo, etc. I received an email in March about her class. My dear boyfriend has given me the class at the end of May as an engagement gift! He is very supportive (though he still eats SAD) and knows that I love this website and the philosophy. I am really looking forward to this class and to finally meet Alissa! While I am there – one of the days – June 1st – it will be the one year since my father passed away. I see this as a sign that I need to get my act together before it is too late.
My issues at the forefront are working through emotional eating issues, dealing with the negativity of my family (namely my mother, who was negative and depressed long before my father fell ill), and getting started with and sustaining a regular exercise routine.
I want to be healthy and happy again. I have always loved clothes, accessories, and make-up (just for the sheer fun of it), but I feel like I can’t and don’t enjoy these things as much as I used to, because I feel so lousy and depressed. I want to enjoy life and to be happy.
Thank you for reading this. Any support and encouraging thoughts are most welcome.
Moonstar
I have been on this board since 2004 (it says 2005, but they did a website migration, etc. back then and I lost my old account / I did something that deleted it). Anyway, I have been here for a long time and post from time to time. I am not sure how I stumbled across this website, but I remember being drawn to it because of the positive energy and interesting people/posts. Also, although a SAD eater, I love and loved fresh vegetables, so I wanted to see what this was all about. I have also wanted to share my story and write it down – so I can begin to heal and be happy again.
Ever since 2004, I have been on and off vegetarian /vegan/ raw. I am now 35 years old, 5’8” tall, and weigh 204 pounds – the most I have ever weighed in my entire life -- the worst I have ever felt and most unhappy I have ever been. I have been up and down with my weight since I was around 10 years old – being a bit taller and of a medium frame has helped me to carry it – but it has not been healthy – nor this high of a weight. Everyone in my family struggles with their weight.
A lot has happened since 2004, including an entire career shift and move (and back to a similar career as before the shift, but didn’t have to move again), my father going through quadruple-bypass surgery in fall 2007 and then dying last summer from the staph infection that developed on the mitral valve, and dealing with the aftermath with my negative mother and family (sorry to sound so sad – it’s just something that bothers me every day – my family is your mix of alcoholism (not me), emotional eating, depression, negativity, denial, not taking action because of fear, laziness, blame, etc).
In October 2007, my father, 70, had quadruple bypass (and another surgery that December to remove a tumor from his kidney – they needed to take his right kidney with the tumor – which was benign). He retired in 2000, after serving for nearly 35 years as a police officer. Like many law enforcement officers, the sheer stress of the job and erratic work shifts, etc, took a toll. He was a wonderful, fun, and loving person who I miss so much – but he dealt with his stress by overeating – and awful foods. He was always overweight – but was lucky to be physically strong and fairly healthy (as healthy as one can be on SAD – if that’s possible) his entire life. I was around 185 pounds at that time.
When he went in for his surgery, he had two nearly 100 % blockage in two arteries and 90 % in the others. The heart actually started to pump blood in the opposite direction to nourish his body! (what the body will do when it is crying to stay alive!). When he was in recovery a few hours after the surgery, he couldn’t talk very loud (after having the garden-hose type tube down his throat), but he motioned to one of my brothers and I to move closer. He said “Please take care of yourselves – it would break my heart to see any of my kids have to go through this.”
When I read other board member’s story on this site – Chef Dina (check out her story and website – very inspiring), I cried. It was like reading the story of my own father. What I saw at the hospital was the same – the fried fish sticks, butter, and cheese that they served RIGHT AFTER wheeling patients into recovery. It was awful. It was the first time in my adult life that I had spent so much time in hospitals and got to see the robbery in motion – of health, life, money, etc, and how it is each and every person’s personal responsibility to take care of their health and to try to change health and lifestyle in this country.
As I mentioned earlier, I have dabbled in this lifestyle for a while – have Alissa’s book, have been to Grezzo, etc. I received an email in March about her class. My dear boyfriend has given me the class at the end of May as an engagement gift! He is very supportive (though he still eats SAD) and knows that I love this website and the philosophy. I am really looking forward to this class and to finally meet Alissa! While I am there – one of the days – June 1st – it will be the one year since my father passed away. I see this as a sign that I need to get my act together before it is too late.
My issues at the forefront are working through emotional eating issues, dealing with the negativity of my family (namely my mother, who was negative and depressed long before my father fell ill), and getting started with and sustaining a regular exercise routine.
I want to be healthy and happy again. I have always loved clothes, accessories, and make-up (just for the sheer fun of it), but I feel like I can’t and don’t enjoy these things as much as I used to, because I feel so lousy and depressed. I want to enjoy life and to be happy.
Thank you for reading this. Any support and encouraging thoughts are most welcome.
Moonstar