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View Full Version : I'm done dying - hope for recovery



RawkinOnSunshine
03-26-2009, 06:07 PM
Hey all. I've been lurking here for a while and finally decided to join...I know being surrounding by support and info about raw benefits will help me stick with it.

I'm 19, 20 next month. I've suffered with eating disorders for as long as I can remember. Around age 8 I developed compulsive over eating and began hoarding and hiding food...my parents used junk to appease me when I "whined" so I always used it to comfort myself I guess. Also grew up in a chaotic not always friendly environment which may have triggered some issues. Anyway I went on this way until I was about 14, at which point I developed anorexia nervosa and lived for years as a depressed, drug addicted, malnutritioned bag of bones. Bulimia came next. I did some scattered research pertaining to recovery and discovered lots of praise for raw. At that point I felt nothing would ever cure me and was determined to push on until I finally killed myself.

A few months ago I started trying hard to recover. Some symptoms subsided but I was still terrified and uncomfortable around food. I did not enjoy it, and had many panicked relapses...Then I remembered RAW. I've been vegetarian since age 14 and vegan a few times (albeit briefly) over the years, so I thought "I can DO this".

So a week ago I took the plunge. Surprisingly I've had few slip ups and feel much better already - and that's just one week! More importantly, for the first time in my memory I am looking at food as nourishment rather than the devil. For the first time I ENJOY food. I still have many many moments of nervousness and fear but I can talk myself through them much more easily.

I still smoke and that's something I'm not quite ready to give up yet. But in time, maybe that will go too.

Now the biggest factor that pushed me to go raw - the ability to live longer, so that I can be here for my African Grey's full lifespan:

http://photos-d.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs029.snc1/2656_63008752395_503207395_2063283_8191995_n.jpg

Revvell
03-26-2009, 09:36 PM
Welcome RoS and your rather large beautiful feathered friend. I know many here can relate to your journey so, you've got friends to lean on ~ and even many of those who can't relate specifically are also here for you.

Be well, enjoy life and play with your food,

Revvell (http://RawkinRadio.com)

michigan roman
03-26-2009, 09:58 PM
welcome to the site :)

nice play on words ' rawkin on sunshine ' :cool: ,
i loved that old song . was that chrissy hines ?

vegi since 14 , youll take right to raw !!!

heres one , " rawkyoulikeahurricane " .
by the scorpions , that was a great bar jam
i liked but before your time in the geezer 80's :D

michigan roman
03-26-2009, 10:05 PM
wow its katrina and the waves , never woulda guessed =


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eONhto0x_nI ..

i was thinking chrissie hynde and the pretenders =

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvfq4dZOTNs&feature=related ..

Irish_Vegan_Girl
03-26-2009, 10:54 PM
Welcome here, and congrats on finding a better way out. I have had eating problems too, overeating vs undereating and I sometimes still deal with them but going higher raw does help me.

Your bird is so cute. There is one of those in the pet store near us, called coco, i would love it.

Frugal Raw
03-26-2009, 11:35 PM
Welcome!! I wish you the best of rawesome health!!

spicyfull
03-27-2009, 02:05 AM
I wish you everything you need to Stay RAW..........Welcome to MY World.

freshlight
03-27-2009, 02:55 AM
Welcome :) You look gorgeous and so does your friend. Have fun and take care.
Cheers from Eva

RawkinOnSunshine
03-27-2009, 05:45 PM
Thanks everyone for the warm welcome. I'm finding the rough spots really rough today so this is a good place for me...

michigan_roman: I love that song - it features on many of my "happy" music collections. I thought it went well with the living foods concept :) Thanks!

As for zee parrot, he's certainly a beauty and a ridiculously spoiled one at that.

jesslcochran
03-27-2009, 06:18 PM
Hi and welcome. I joined here yesterday too. :) I love being raw (I have been in the past and now I'm going back to it). Just wait...soon you'll be feeling so happy with your life. :)

*hugs*
Jess

klomasius
03-27-2009, 09:26 PM
Oh wow, you're progress is fantastic! Good on you!

I really hope (and believe) you can do it and live with success and happiness. You will find so much support here, please ask for any help and support if you need it, people are very kind here.

You are on the road to recovery and we all wish you the very best! Plus give you parrot a pat for me, or a cuddle, or whatever way you show affection to an avian friend! :)

jurence
03-28-2009, 10:59 AM
I like your bird. I'm not too sure why you view smoking (i'm assuming marijuana because of you saying "drugs") as a bad thing.

RawkinOnSunshine
03-28-2009, 11:33 AM
No, I mean cigarettes, which are certainly not healthy. Though I'd be elated if you could prove me otherwise ;) I don't consider marijuana a drug in reality (it is a herb), I was referring to hard drugs.

Thanks for all the support guys...I can see I will enjoy hanging around here.

klomasius - You show affection in whatever way THEY want you to ;) In this case that would be the standard patting, hugging, play, kisses, conversation...They're really very incredible creatures. My three parrots helped me through the initial recovery process and are still a positive influence.

gs4life
03-28-2009, 11:44 AM
welcome to the forum! i know you'll find the support you need here! we're all here you for you...enjoy the raw journey :)