Has anyone actually changed the mind of a meat and dairy lover

[sydneysmommy07]

Hello-
This is my first post, and I hope you can help relieve one of my burning questions. I am trying to start on my raw journey but I am still trying to learn some more before I go splurge at the farmers market. Anyhow, my husband is a huge meat and dairy man, as is his family. I have never been a big fan of meat, I recently figured out that it was the marinades and dips I liked not the meat. My disintrest in meat has always bothered him, I also was raised in a family where almost everyone was allergic to milk so eventhough I did not have a reaction, I just didn't like it. Well other then ice cream. My husband on the other hand will drink a half gallon to himself with a piece of dessert. We being my husband, our 2 yr old daughter and I currently live with his sister and she has been pushing milk onto my daughter. Who will eat everything under the sun. But it is so hard to stand up when they truely think it is healthy. I even asked my husband if you knew for a fact that milk was filled with pus and antibotics, would you still drink it and he said yes, it tastes good. So has anyone actually somewhat changed the mind of diehard meat and dairy eaters.

He did say that if I want to eat like that fine but don't expect him or our daughter to change. My husband is a good cook and he said if you wont cook for me i will. As for his family they think I am crazy because I gave up beef and pork. They don't know anything about raw.
Sorry for all of the drama that's on my mind I am just worried about going further into raw and then an outsider in the family.

So please help me I know I could do raw foods but it seems like you guys all have understanding family.

[circle]

no i have never changed the mind of a meat eater. i have never actually tried though. i have expressed my views, but people change their minds on their own. I have never persuaded anyone to give up their meat eating ways.

it sucks that your daughter has to be involved. my parents had a lot of disagreements about my diet growing up. it was very confusing.

[klomasius]

Firstly, welcome to the forum!

I'm glad you found this place, it is a great forum for support, especially when you don't have any in the 'real world'.

And yes, many of us have at least somewhat convinced a meat and dairy eater that eating less meat and dairy and more raw foods is a better thing. Some of us have convinced hardcore meat and dairy eaters to go veg, even vegan! My partner is one of those reformed meat and dairy guys, he went from eating heaps of crap to eating vegan, pretty much skipping the veg bit. As I spoke about it with him I think it all just seemed to make sense for him.

As for those that aren't keen on the idea, try not to push it onto them, because if there's anything I learnt in my overzealous new-vegan days, it was not to get down people's throats about stuff I thought was not food.

The great news is you can control what you eat, so you can make stuff for yourself and eat whatever you like. The not so great news is that you have to fight a rather low grade battle with your husband and sister in law about feeding your child stuff you don't agree with. I fight this low key battle with my son's dad, who is veg but who thinks cheese is fine, and feeds our son canned pasta (among other horrid things!).

The way I fight this 'battle' is on several fronts, but almost always the tactics are positive, this is really, really important.

* Firstly, I lead by example. I am healthy, have lots of energy, don't get sick, have lost heaps of weight and am looking so much better on raw. People notice, including my family. If you think your family will consider you freaky for eating raw foods, consider saying 'I'm eating more fresh foods now' or something similar. I use this in my demonstrations to pull in people who would otherwise think 'raw' and get put off.

* Make lots of really appealing foods, blend up chocolate milkshakes, make banana ice cream and make sure you let your family (especially your daughter) see you enjoying these things. Visually appealing food goes a long way in planting subconscious seeds into people's minds.

* You are not the only one with a difficult family. Try not to get into combative arguments with family, especially in laws. I dealt for years with my extended family trying to coax me into fights about what I eat, waving steaks in my face and telling me that I just needed to get a little meat into me etc. They were almost offended at my choice of not eating meat and dairy, like it was a slight on them, or unpatriotic or something. They were often looking for that explosive/petulant/righteous reaction in order to validate what they did and dismiss me as nutty, holier than thou, or whatever. After several years, this sort of thing died away, they no longer found it funny, and they started seeing that I was looking quite healthy (not dying, not fading away etc.) and it had begun to be no fun as I never gave them a reaction.

I could go on for hours about getting those around me to see the positives of a meat and dairy free lifestyle (and subtly hinting at the negative effects of eating too much of these things). But I need to get dinner for my son (a big green smoothie, a salad plate and maybe some banana ice cream with chocolate brownie balls, his dad is not here!).

Take care, chin up and you will be fine. Just be confident, and if at first you can't be confident, be quietly and doggedly persistent.

**HUGS**

[spicyfull]

Just by Example, not stressing anyone out with talk.

[contessa20]

Welcome!

Yes, I've helped change the mind of a die-hard carnivorous friend. A really good friend of mine was a die-hard meat eater and went vegetarian after hearing me talk so much about raw a few years ago. I wasn't trying to change her though, something about it resonated with her and she chose to give it a shot. She still does dairy and has no plans to entertain the possibility of vegan, much less raw, but she's cut out the meat which is a step in the right direction.

My son eats some of my concoctions but still loves his ice cream, mac & cheese and pizza. He's not big on meat but he'll eat it occasionally. I won't force raw on him but instead make things I know he'll enjoy, allow him to try the other stuff and, hopefully, plant the seed for a time when he will become wholly responsible for his own eating. In my opinion, restricting him to just raw vegan foods when his father eats all the things that he loves right in front of him would be cruel.

My husband is interested in some of the raw vegan recipes but will never give up his meat and dairy. I have no plans to try to change him though and we are content to let one another make our own choices.

[klomasius]

Welcome!

Yes, I've helped change the mind of a die-hard carnivorous friend. A really good friend of mine was a die-hard meat eater and went vegetarian after hearing me talk so much about raw a few years ago. I wasn't trying to change her though, something about it resonated with her and she chose to give it a shot. She still does dairy and has no plans to entertain the possibility of vegan, much less raw, but she's cut out the meat which is a step in the right direction.

My son eats some of my concoctions but still loves his ice cream, mac & cheese and pizza. He's not big on meat but he'll eat it occasionally. I won't force raw on him but instead make things I know he'll enjoy, allow him to try the other stuff and, hopefully, plant the seed for a time when he will become wholly responsible for his own eating. In my opinion, restricting him to just raw vegan foods when his father eats all the things that he loves right in front of him would be cruel.

My husband is interested in some of the raw vegan recipes but will never give up his meat and dairy. I have no plans to try to change him though and we are content to let one another make our own choices.

Yeah, I seem to have done some influencing by what I call diffusion as well. People you least expect to change are sometimes the ones to surprise you. And I think sometimes that they are listening and understanding solely because we don't force it down their throats, or even talk about it if they don't want to.

I agree with the no restriction thing as well, my son eats stuff he likes that is raw when he's with me (but I do cook vegan for him sometimes). I always try and have raw treats in the fridge or freezer he can snack on. So he doesn't have restrictions, rather he has encouragement to eat tasty healthy foods.

[Pitaya]

absolutely, by example we show others what is possible.
and WE are YOUR understanding family here : )
Love!
pitaya

[Jessican]

I *think* I have. My DH doesn't like it, but after doing the research has agree that a vegan diet is the best, and that eating all your produce raw is also best. I don't know if I'll ever get him to be 100% raw vegan, but he's at least admited to a diet change of major proportions. He wants a slow transition, but that's ok. It's better than nothing.

I read The China Study and The Longevity Diet that changed his mind. And seeing how good I feel raw helped seal the deal.

[rftm0115]

an omnivore -- yes. a carnivore that calls veggies grass -- no. :p

My cousin AND uncle were eating salads the other day, because that's all my aunt cooked. So as long as she's incorporating more fresh veggies & fruits into her diet, they will eventually fall in line. :cool:

[solarliving]

Well if your husband is still willing to drink milk after he knows what is in it, then he most likely will not change any time soon. The fact that you have a child makes this situation a bit more of a challenge. Who get's the final say in what your child eats? It's a tough call.

I do believe people can change if they are open to learning new things.

[Sugar Snap Pea]

Not worth your while to try to change anyone's mind. My kids were vegan for years and none of their arguments came close to swaying me and my meat/dairy eating ways. It wasn't until I spur of the moment decided to try raw and saw the benefits of that lifestyle that I changed my ways! People usually make up their own minds. Anyway, the end of the story is that I'm back to my old ways...But the moral of the story is, do what you need to do for you and let others take care of themselves.

[bsqmurphy]

Hi,

I have a meat eating hubby and a 2 year old too. I have not attempted to change his mind because it's his mind, not mine - I'm not in control. I put my focus on what I have control over & what fills my needs.

So, I focus on preparing lucious healthy, attractive, raw vegan food to nourish myself. If there's something getting in the way of my needs for my health & well being, then I seek creating agreements with my hubby (or others) to take care of my needs and theirs as well (sometimes this takes LOTS of creativity and trial & error).

We make a whole range of foods available to our 2 year old and I find that he generally wants to eat what I'm eating, so I encourage him to do so. Again, I keep the focus on what I want for him, not on the things I dont' want for him (then he just zeros in on those). He does eat the other stuff too, but I find the more options he has available, the more scrumptious the raw food is, and the more consistently & openly I enjoy it, the more he naturally chooses to eat more raw than cooked.

I hope this helps,
Bri.

[JennaBoBenna]

*raises hand*

While my parents still eat some meat, my mother buys mostly almond milk (cow milk every once in a while) and strives to buy free range and organic. A lot of the food she makes is vegan(soups). also, my brother gave up eating a lot of meat when trying to lose weight. He was eating veggie for a while, which is an amazing feat! This is the guy who made fun of me for going vegan in the first place! (and eats pound burgers with onion rings and bacon)
I am truly amazed at the changes I inspired in my family

[rftm0115]

lol Jenna! Reminds me of my cousin who would make fun/tease me every time I would eat a veggie. He'd always say something along the lines that the family should save the lawn trimmings for me!

When I went to visit last time and he was munching on salad, I teased him about him eating grass. He calls veggies "grass!" :rolleyes:

[Colorawdo girl]

All I do is lead by example. If they ask questions I am more than willing to answer and assist if they want. They can see the results and decide for themselves.
Some people feel very uncomfortable about their food choices when they are around me.Funny.
I leave the people to eat as they wish. Even those near and dear to my heart.

[JCB44]

My experience is NO! My step dad is in the buisness of raising beef cattle, I as a matter of fact worked for him in charge of feeding operations. At one point we had approximately 7,000 head of cattle that were fed twice a day. To him vegitarian or raw foodist, or vegan, are dirty words. So my raw lifestyle is never discussed with him - He doesn't understand OR want to see my point of view. So he has his beliefs and I have mine. I don't push it on him or try to change his mind. I don't think he "likes" my lifestyle, but he doesn't say anything. So do your own thing and one thing that might happen, your husband might see the benifits in you, your appearance and health and may be more open to some raw food even if it small amounts at first. Sometimes when a seed is planted it takes along time to germinate and grow into a tree.

[appifanie]

for me: my dad has given up everything but shrimp. an ex gave up everything but seafood. one ex went veg for a yearish.

[sydneysmommy07]

Thank you all, for your support. We were disscusing it the other day and he said let's see where we are now healthwise and then both do what we believe will make us healthy and compare a year from now to or old stats to see how it goes. And if I have significantley improved my health he will no longer give me a hard time about it. So I am very excited, I went to the farmers market yesterday and got a few things to experiment with. And I have saved up 200 for a blendtech so I am getting closer. Thanks again for all of your support, it think everyone wants to be healthier it's just hard to change your habbits.

[selina_k]

Wait a minute. You have to live with being given "a hard time" about your lifestyle for a YEAR and PROVE that your results are significant enough
FOR HIM!:mad:So that you can THEN live in peace?

That sounds so condescending. I'm sorry, I'm just :mad::mad:

[klomasius]

Wait a minute. You have to live with being given "a hard time" about your lifestyle for a YEAR and PROVE that your results are significant enough
FOR HIM!:mad:So that you can THEN live in peace?

That sounds so condescending. I'm sorry, I'm just :mad::mad:

Haha! and here was me thinking it was pretty reasonable and open minded for someone who is a meat and dairy enthusiast!

I guess I've been used to my family being condescending for so many years.

For me it's definitely different with a partner, it's 'accept or I'm not with you' (that's accept my way of life for me, not them), but I'm not with the father of my child so it's less complicated.

[jurence]

Too many rednecks in Georgia. I've suprisingly gotten two people to walk barefoot in public due to me, but no one has changed their murderous ways :P

[SweetTangerine]

I've convinced my Mom. Shortly after I gave up all meat except fish she joined me. I didn't even have to say anything to her about it. Then I went vegan. Although she is not vegan, with gentle persuasion I got her to give up fish (she used to love it but now hates the texture) and most dairy products. Just the other day she called me and said, "Now I'm not going raw like you, but I want to check out a raw recipe book. I think it will be easier to make raw foods in the summer." I am so proud of her.

[xPIXIEx]

Nope. Never. I don't try though. I hardly talk about my dietary choices(other than to my mom who loves trying all the food I make), unless someone asks questions about it.

Besides my husband, I know that it would be a waste of my time If I tried because my family is stuck in their ways. I'm the 'weird' one. They figure they've gotta die somehow. Animal products & smoking makes them happy, and they're going to do it! They act scared to death, and almost always refuse to eat my food.

I hear things about how my children are missing out, and they're pale, and 'oh I guess they'll have to eat *insert SAD food here* since you forgot *insert vegan replacement here*. Sometimes I think my mom would rather them be 'normal.'

So sadly, no I haven't done any converting with the exception of hubby & kids. I hope that in the future, they see the great benefits, and start to make healthier choices.

[RawHeaven]

This is a very insightful thread. I'm learning a lot about what everyone is transcending, how they are Raw in this world. Thank you for sharing.

I'm in California which has long been rich in vegetarianism/veganism so I don't encounter too much flack. My family already thinks I'm weird as I've been vegan for many years before Raw. They accept my choices and I theirs, although I am the butt of jokes occasionally. I've learned to let them roll off my back and not respond. The grasseater, twig eating comments you know. ha. Instead I bring my gourmet raw goodies to family dinners and this helps them understand how versatile and flexible eating this way really is. Now I get asked for recipes, rather than being on the receiving end of misguided dietary concern or uncomfortable silences when they're digging into their meats and dairy products. lol.

I find the more I accept others, the more I'm accepted. It's a circle. If you're experiencing problems with family or anyone else "accepting" you and your choices, consider going within. It's where everything shifts, evolves and changes. In that regard, I'm not here to change anyone else, I'm here to change myself and grow. If I can demonstrate good health by being an example, so be it and what an amazing gift. Brings me joy anytime a loved one tells me I've influenced a change in their diet or lifestyle because I care about them and adore them. I don't expect anything else, just wishing the best for everyone in my life -- whatever choices they make I hope they work for them.

[rftm0115]

My baby brother is starting to eat A LOT of my food. :rolleyes:

[bootzey]

My sister has seen the benefits in my life and on my health and she converted. Now she's more militant than I am. My King also has converted. He initially had no choice since he eats what I give him, but I have seen him with options other than what I prepare and he will choose raw. He won't admit to it though.

[SekhemNefer]

I am not trying to change people's minds. I say if people really cared about their own health then they will make that decision to make the changes that they want to.

Quite frankly, there way too much information about health, nutrition or animal welfare...if people care or give a damn they would adjust their lives accordingly. Obviously a lot of people don't care and I can't be bothered trying to persuade anyone to do a damn thing. I got my own life to deal with.

If they want to know something they know they can come to me.

[SekhemNefer]

I just wanted to add that my father moved in with me this weekend for financial reasons. I had my pots and pans stored in a closet. He brought meat into the house and asked if where my pans were. We pulled them out. And he wanted to use my microwave too stored away.

I am not going to say to him 'this is a raw home. Can't cook here." He offered me grits this morning because he made too much. I just told him "no, I am going to make a smoothie and get back to being raw (I did eat cooked for a bit this past week for being outside the home literally ALL DAY without having time to run to a grocery store, if it wasn't near me.)

The only rule I am going to make is that he will in no way and form ask me to spend my grocery money buying him meat products, or anything that takes ME away from being raw.

He can spend his own money to buy what he wants.

[appifanie]

my husband newly swears he's going vegetarian!

[mongodelight]

I. My brothers. He is pizza-vegetarian for 6 years. He is on the pizza-mono-diet. And he change the mind of his best friend, he is vegetarian for a few years too.