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Nubianess
03-21-2009, 07:09 AM
Hey guys, I went in to hybernation for a while, was having to deal with some inner stuff , its all good though :)

Ive had to reconsider my raw journey, I was struggling to be 100% raw, and feeling miserable when I didnt eat 100%. I used to get upset when I ate a spoon of bean stew! Ive discoverd, that the more you get frustrated and worked up and serious about eating raw, the harder it is to do so. I used to obsess about lunch when eating breakfast!! Thinking " i hope im raw for lunch e.t.c" Im sure you can see how draining that mindset is to keep up.

Im about 10 weeks raw now and Ive gained back some weight I lost,. but im happier than i have EVER been. Being raw has brought up so many emotions and issues for me, and im working through them and I feel so much in control of myself, I feel like ME.

A few years back I struggled with bulimia/ binge eating. That went away,.. ( well I repressed it). Being raw brought it all back up with a vengeance. I got scared off raw and allowed myself to go back cooked for a while to stop the food obsession..... no avail.
I figured that this was being brought up again for me to heal/ deal with once and for all. And im doing great, i feel like another layer is being peeled off my personhood, and I know the remaining weight will drop of the more emotionally healed I am.

Ive never felt this close to myself and my body, I dont always make the right choices but my body always says thank you or waves it index finger at me, depending on what I choose to ingest. Im now choosing to think beautiful thoughts about myself and my body regardles of whether I have a flax cracker or a baked cracker with my salad! Since my mindshift, ive been having people giving me compliments about my body, telling me im beautiful and I have a goregous bod!
Im not 100% raw,. its not a destination its a journey, I guess its about being comfortable where you are right now.

A few housekeeping questions for you guys:

Ive got a LOT of lentils, beans, chickpeas e.t.c, I used to live on this stuff before I discoverd raw. I havent found a good sprouted legumes recipe, even sprouted chickpeas didnt sit with me. I just didnt like it.
Im willing to try a few more sprout recipes if any of you have them,..

Im on a restricted budget so I can hardly afford to buy nuts. WOuld sprouted buckwheat be a good crust replacer? Ive tried making raw cheesecake 4 times,.. Yes 4. none of them turned out palatable! lol.
Ive got 2 coconuts, a big box of frozen berries,3 lemons 1 cup almonds, about 15 dates, 2 avocados, carob powdr, honey, lots of coconut butter, Im only making for myself so I want to make a small one..... How do I assemble these into that gorgeous creamy dessert thats been haunting my tastebuds??:)

Im even thinking of making a green cheesecake, like green smoothie cheesecake lol,. I better master the basic recipe first though.


Looking foward to your input

Nub

4forme
03-21-2009, 09:53 PM
Congratulations on all the inner healing and discovery you have accomplished! I feel as if I am on a similar road right now. Still visiting the boards a little, sneak peeking at recipes and different discussions, but not actually able to participate much right now.
I am not raw at the moment, but try to eat mostly salads for my lunch and dinner meals. I had anorexia as a teen and have struggled with ED ever since, but mostly the extreme opposite right now, binge eating, or really just eating all.the.time!
Just this wk I came to the conclusion that I am ok with myself for not being perfect and making good choices, and will not beat myself up for being imperfect. I have accepted the fact this 15 lbs will not budge until I treat my body better. Noone is perfect. I know what makes me feel good and what makes me feel bad, it's still my choice.

Lots of self discovery and acceptance going on and I feel at some point I want to return high raw, as I feel amazing then.

Thanks for writing this post, it helps me realize that at some point I will get to the end of this leg of the journey, and begin another one. Healing takes along time, and if rushed, I found out the hard way, you will only get set back further down the road.

Blessings on getting back to raw and being kind to yourself!